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Ben Stein's Diary
On the Road Again and Again and Again
Not bad except for the horror show in Philadelphia. Happily, there was Mr. Ostrander.
Saturday
Back in L.A. at my desk in my
office. This has been an incredibly tiring few weeks of travel.
Just mind-boggling. In the past three weeks I have been to New York
City twice or maybe three times (I’ve lost track), to D.C. three
times, to Philadelphia, to Miami, to Amelia Island, to Chicago, to
Vegas two or three times. It has been a whirlwind.
My brave wifey has come with me everywhere, even though she has had a flu. She gamely packs and keeps me company. She stays in the hotel room and sleeps day after day, but she is amazingly disciplined and when it’s time to go, there she is, all packed and ready. I attribute that to her war hero, West Point grad father.
The trips went well with one big exception that I will get to in a moment.
Usually, the worst parts of the trip are getting up early for network talk shows. I have to be there usually at 7:30 eastern, which means I have to be up at 6 eastern, which is 3 a.m., the middle of the night my time.
I dislike doing that, but I do it pretty much without complaint. The people at those morning shows are so cheery and up beat that they make being there actually fun.
I did have one terrifying incident when I got sick from a cheeseburger I had at a diner near Fox and almost lost it in the limo on the way to an interview. But by a great mercy, I found a restroom and was saved.
The worst travel part came when my wife and I arrived at the Ritz Carlton in downtown Philadelphia, which has now won my nomination for the most stupidly run hotel in the world.
When one enters the lobby of this horror movie, one is greeted by deafeningly loud rock music. It is a jarring slap for the weary traveler. Then we had a desk clerk whose contempt for our reservations was limitless. She did not have the right rooms, did not give a damn, and just was so unhelpful that it made my head spin.
Our rooms smelled of cigar smoke. They overlooked the plaza where the Occupy Philadelphia (a comical idea in and of itself) encampment was, and the constant sound of drumbeats went on for hours. Finally, we got the night manager, who manfully tried to help us. But then we were socked with the most horrifyingly awful and expensive room service I have ever had. It was like serving vomit from snakes to paying guests.
I know Ritz-Carlton is a part of Marriott and I am a small stockholder in Marriott (very small). Usually, Marriott knows what they are doing. Not this time. This hotel needs a LOT of work.
There were some glorious moments. Twice, we got to go to Easton, Maryland, and eat crab cakes at my very favorite restaurant in the eastern U.S., maybe anywhere, the Tidewater Inn. On the last visit, my wife felt too ill to get up from the table, but Bob Noah, our driver, and I went for a brief walk around old Easton as the autumn winds were blowing maple leaves at us. Easton’s old part is nearly perfect and the air had the perfect Chesapeake Fall tang. I just love the Eastern Sho’.
Just a few hundred feet from old Easton are the modern fast food places on Route 50. But the blocks around the Tidewater Inn are a miracle of preservation. Forty years ago, on Friday nights, there was ballroom dancing — foxtrot, jitterbug, cha-cha — in a ballroom at the Tidewater Inn. Wifey and I used to go for that dancing. Very civilized. Autres temps, autres moeurs, as they say. Long time passing.
The worst part of the trip was watching on TV the dissection of Herman Cain by the media. Now, please understand. I do not think Mr. Cain is even remotely close to being qualified to be President. He is a smart guy and a likeable guy, but the Presidency is way out of his league. And I mean, way, way, way out.
But the idea that he would be disqualified because of sex harassment allegations from long ago (or even recently) just makes no sense. Anyone can file any kind of charge. All it takes is a lawyer and a few sheets of paper. As Catherine the Great wrote to Voltaire, paper is smooth and yielding. You can write anything you wish upon it. I have seen the most astoundingly untrue allegations leveled at the most unlikely people in sex harassment cases. Trial lawyers are often fine people. But they can also be extortionists and publicity hounds. The fact that they submit a complaint means zero to me. Proven misconduct would be something else.
Moreover, as I have written in many instances, sex harassment cases are sometimes political footballs. The Democrats cheer like madmen for Bill Clinton, who is the only President proven to have had sex with a young woman not his wife in the Oval Office. Just the mention of the greatest woman chaser of any President, John F. Kennedy, sends Democrats into trances. But if an allegation of any wrongdoing is made against a Republican, then it’s time for the show trials and the Lubyanka.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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Stefan Stackhouse| 11.21.11 @ 10:03AM
Funny, my one and only experience of Philadelphia was as bad or worse than Mr. Stein's.
First, I arrived at my hotel the day ahead of my conference and was informed that even though I had made a reservation for that night, they wouldn't have a room for me until the next night, they were fully booked. Fortunately, I was able to find another room down the street; unfortunately, it was at twice the price.
The next day I come back, and it was total pandamonium. I waited in an incredibly long line for hours waiting to check in. I found out that it was a gathering of youth groups that had the hotel booked that weekend, and they utterly trashed it - every r0om. When I finally got my key and headed up to my room, I discovered that it had been trashed, and housekeeping was still way down in the other end of the hall. I left my bags in there, told the housekeeping crew I was going to a meeting and would they please attend to my room before I returned. Two hours later I'm back, and nothing had been done. I realized that if anyone was going to clean my room it would be me, so I asked them for a trash bag and got to work - cleaning my own hotel room. Finally the housekeeping supervisor took some sympathy, and came over to help. Then we noticed that the room was very warm, and that the A/C was not working. Just what I needed on top of everything else. By this point, I had so much sympathy from the housekeeping supervisor that she made arrangements for me to go back down to the fron deask and swap my keys for a different room - one that was clean and functional.
The next evening, yet another sign of utter disorganization and dysfunctionality at this hotel. I am in my room, and hear the sound of a key in the door (this is back when metal keys were still in use). Yep, they hadn't bothered to make the change in their records, and still thought that this room was vacant. I sent him down stairs, called the front desk, and carefully went back over all that had happened with the morons down there.
As if this all were not enough, I almost got run over while trying to cross the street - and another driver following behind that driver hollering out of his window "Run him over! Run him over!" So much for "The City of Brotherly Love".
As a final parting shot, when I got to the airport for my flight home, I needed to use the rest room. While I was in the stall, a janitor apparently came in, closed the bathroom, and started cleaning. Once I got up and left the stall, he accosted me: "What are YOU doing in here? You're not supposed to be in here!" A perfect ending to a perfectly horrible visit to a perfectly horrible city. Sorry if I have offended any of you folks who live in Philly and I'm sure it is not like that for everyone who visits your city. It is interesting though that I keep hearing horror stories like this, and they always seem to be about Philly. Needless to say, I'll be doing all I can to avoid paying that place another visit.
Fred C. Dobbs| 11.21.11 @ 2:21PM
Well, what do you expect from a city whose mayor is a Nutter?
mike| 11.21.11 @ 7:10PM
my first visit to Philly was in the '70's.
a week later, we found out we were at the same hotel as the Legionnaires, of Legionnaires disease fame.
still not fond of the place.
and God bless those who look out for and help worthy students along the way. don't know where I would be without many who gave a hand at the right time.
Jack in Wi| 11.22.11 @ 2:28PM
My My Ben Stein's grandfather worked for the notorious anti-semite Henry Ford. Oh! That's right Henry employed thousands of Jews including his architect of his home and all his factories. Henry didn't hate Jews as indiviguals, but he hated most of the Jewish elite banking and intellectual classes who he thought were destroying the finance system and dragging us into needless wars.
I used to read Ben quite a bit in the 80's and 90's. I enjoyed him then, but he seems to have stayed back there and not moved forward. I saw him TV in a commercial and I think that he has slipped physically as wll. A little less travel and a lot more diet and exercise would be the best thing for Ben's longevity, at least in my opinion.
Peter McGrath| 11.21.11 @ 10:49AM
Thanks, Ben, good stuff. Sorry about the loss of your family friend and mentor. What a life he lived!
Philly, yeah, ouch. W.C. Fields had it exactly right and nothing much has changed over the past 80 years. Unionism & Welfare Dependency make unpleasant - to say the least - bedfellows.
Pat| 11.21.11 @ 12:52PM
Uh-huh
Occam's Tool| 11.21.11 @ 1:28PM
Any great city can suck. My stories of LA make your experiences in Philly seem like Disneyland.
But there's a reason I live in a nice small town where my car dealership picks up my car for oil changes and tuneups from my workplace and returns it to me before I go home, and all the waitesses in the local restaurants know me by name and what my favorites are. Screw Philly, Chi, NYC, etc.
I live in Cheersville. I live in Rural Minnesota.
Ben, maybe if you didn't encourage them to sue so much, the trial attorneys would be less problematic.
David H. Cooper| 11.21.11 @ 1:43PM
Hi, Ben. I remember your son Tommy (ie) but you never speak of him now. Whatever happened? Is he okay?
Henry Miller| 11.21.11 @ 1:59PM
"Deafeningly loud rock music" in the lobby of a Ritz-Carlton? Say it ain't so, Ben!
The barbarians are at the gates; sic transit gloria mundi.
Intelligent Design| 11.21.11 @ 2:00PM
I agree with the evaluation of Cain. And I think many of us have had "Ostranders" in our lives.
Delaware Cross| 11.21.11 @ 2:09PM
Ben... the reason the Ritz was playing loud rock music in the lobby was to hide the drums of the OWS demonstration, which might have caused you to go elsewhere.
Edward Cropper | 11.21.11 @ 2:56PM
I used to really enjoy Ben Stein. His articles, his long gone TV show and personal appearances on various TV shows. However since he endorsed Al Franken for US Senator I have not read , or watched anything he has been a part of . What's more I will not.
Call me narrow minded, so be it. He knew what Franken believed and yet helped elect this WPOS to the US Senate . Where he can help undermine everything a true conservative holds dear.
gary siebel| 11.21.11 @ 4:20PM
Better ..., but what would Kerouac think of your use of the term "on the road," when what you really mean is, "flying about from place to place."
It's the flying about that leads to the disconnect with, and misunderstanding of, average folks, such as the Occupiers, and Tea Partiers. The well-heeled call them "flyover states." And really, flyover states, flyover cities, flyover rural areas, the flyover people perhaps don't give a flying F for your needs for elegant comfort, when you don't seem to care about theirs. Perhaps it is time to afflict the comfortable.
You probably felt right at home on Amelia Is.
F X Dillon| 11.21.11 @ 6:04PM
Ben, with all due respect I don't think you are being fair to Herman Cain.
Just as you were unfair dismissing Palin right after she was nominated. Just as you have dismissed the Tea Partiers for their proposals to cut government spending.
The core error: You are confusing sophistication with intelligence.
Intelligence Cain and Palin have a lot of. Sophistication, by choice perhaps, or background, or whatever, not so much. But intelligence they both have in abundance. And it is an active, dynamic, working intelligence, whereby they think things through and analyze them, simplify them, decide what to do, execute, and move on.
Sophisticates, instead, name drop people whom they believe to be intelligent (they rarely are), repeat arguments rather than formulate them, parrot buzz-words and MBA-speak and other cant that they hear from others, and, generally, do nothing but repeat what they have heard. Maybe with a cute sophisticated twist, but, essentially the same thing they just heard.
Cain thinks clearly and logically. He is creative when he speaks and argues. He has principles he does not abandon. He prioritizes things wisely. He simplifies rather than making things complex. Whereas you and other sophisticates perseverate on minutiae of US foreign policy around the world, Cain instead returns to the better, simpler questions, like: What are we doing there in the first place? Are these people friends or foes? Why should we send these people money? Etc.
In this way Cain (and Palin) are sort of like Lincoln, Coolidge, or Reagan. You can see the resemblance when you read Cain and read Reagan, or Lincoln, or Silent Cal.
We need people like them, plain-spoken, intelligent people, to lead us as Presidents. We have had enough sophisticated people in the White House... FDR, Kennedy, Obama, etc. Their nitwit Harvard points of view and Beltway insider knowledge are impressive to you and others in the ruling class, but to real people like us, the people who make the country operate, they are just idiots who have ruined our currency and our people's life savings, pestered us with volumes of idiotic laws, and gotten us in losing war after losing war, for a century now.
In fact, our foreign policy is a huge disaster. Wars are now coming in bunches, three at a time, each spanning a decade or more, without any clear objectives or signs of progress. Never a clear rationale. Never a clear victory. Nothing learned, nothing improved. A total loss of lives and money. Sheer idiocy. All brought about by sophisticated people who were 'prepared' for the Presidency, as we are supposed to believe.
How in the world can you endorse the status quo and dismiss, out of hand, a clear-thinking person like Herman Cain? Do you prefer our current foreign policy, and the sophisticated people who are responsible for it?
It is time for the sophisticated people in the country to take the back seat for a while and let intelligent people run the country for a while.
Niniane| 11.21.11 @ 6:33PM
I really don't feel for your "suffering" in Philadelphia. I assume you have never woken up in a hotel in Cairo with roaches waving at you from the sink, and picking weevils out of the breakfast bread. Nor have you had the fun of staying in a hotel undergoing remodeling in NC, where I got stuck in the elevator twice and deciding to take the stairs noticed that all the firehoses were missing from the cabinets. That and all ice machines removed from all 12 floors but one which was continually empty. (The employees led me through a closed unlit restaurant to the ice machine used by the catering staff.)
Mr. Ostrander did wonderful things through his long life. I certainly hope you have taken his actions to heart as emulation is the best flattery. I am so sorry that your sick wife had to pack for you and you had to get up real early for personal publicity. There are things that are very important and then there are minor irritations. Sweep aside the minor irritations to a person of your stature and try focusing on what is important -- a gentleman like the late Mr. Ostrander.
Olivia Brown| 11.22.11 @ 8:13AM
Dear Mr Stein, I am sorry the hotel did not meet your expectations. I would like to speak with you personally about your experience and you may reach me at 215-523-8000. Have a great day!
Olivia C. Brown, General Manager, The Ritz-Carlton, Philadelphia
Bsg| 11.22.11 @ 4:05PM
Is the Wifey still sitting at the table? Was she sitting there while you took your walk? Kind of left me hanging.
And speaking of Cain's qualifications-look who the current occupier is, apparently the bar isn't very high for the office of president.