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Another Perspective
Confessions of a K Street Freeloader
There are better ways to sponge in D.C. than by hanging out in McPherson Square.
The rest of the country may be in recession, but the lawyers and lobbyists in Washington have not been cutting back. I should know: I have been freeloading off of them. Every day in the last week, I have been treated to a breakfast, a lunch or an after-work happy hour by some group of well-heeled influence peddlers.
The best part about it is that I don’t have to pull any strings or gatecrash to get in. Invitations simply arrive in my email inbox, sometimes several in a day. Most are from people whom I don’t even know but are nevertheless eager to make my acquaintance.
What makes me so popular? I’m not sure really. I’m a professional writer by trade and I have covered a lot of different subjects in my time. At some point my name appears to have gotten caught, flypaper-like, on the list of “writers who cover our topic” of most every interest group in town. So they ply me with free drinks and food.
Or maybe they just want another warm body to fill the room during whatever it is that they are talking about. Either way, I show up when I can. Journalism is not an automatic path to riches and, really, are there two sweeter words in the English language than “open bar”?
Besides the people you meet at these events are invariably friendly and chatty, eager to tell you how their particular client’s interest really is the whole nation’s interest and therefore needs special attention from Congress. I nod sagely as they say this, unless the line at the bar is short.
Rarely will one hear anything at these events about how the nation is deeply in debt — $15 trillion at last count. That is an abstract problem, probably someone else’s problem and one that will probably get fixed once the economy stops being so problematic anyway. Whenever that happens.
It is easy to think that way if you are isolated from the pain the rest of the country is feeling in this recession. And there are few places that have weathered the storm as well as Washington, D.C. and its surrounding suburbs. Property values here remain high and the public sector continues to grow. In fact, D.C. is now officially the nation’s wealthiest city, thanks to its high concentration of lawyers.
Not everyone is rolling in the dough, of course. But enough of them are and most them got that way by the making the government’s business their business. And that business is never in recession.
I was at one event the other night, thrown by a tony K Street firm. It was held in the penthouse of a tall office building, with spectacular views of the city. It was exactly the sort of lobbyist gathering that Democrats often say they are fighting against — except that most of the people at this event were Democrats, many ex-Capitol Hill staffers, now enjoying the six-figure life. There’s plenty of work on both sides of the street.
As I chatted with these folks over good wine and better crab cakes, the topic du jour was the apparent failure of Congress’s budgetary “super committee” to come up with a plan to get the deficit under control.
If a deal is struck, the firm’s clients would want their priorities protected from the budget axe, which would mean plenty of work for the lobbyists. If the committee fails and the automatic sequestration budget cuts hit, well, their clients will need the same kind of protection. And if nothing at all happens, well, the firm had plenty of work before the super committee anyway.
So, back to business as usual, my cocktail party friends say. That doesn’t sound right to me. The government cannot just spend forever. But for now the party continues, at least as long as it is someone else’s tab at the bar.
From the windows of the penthouse, you could actually see the few dozen Occupy DC protesters camped out far below at the city’s McPherson Square — scruffy, dimwitted lefties who think they are somehow fighting the corrupting influence of money by freezing their asses off in a park at night. I doubt anyone at the event noticed them — or if they did, if they cared.
You know, there is probably a metaphor in there somewhere, but I cannot think of it. Anyhow, I went home after the bar closed.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (26) | Leave a comment
More Articles by Thirsty McWormwood
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Brian Mc| 11.18.11 @ 7:36AM
The revelation is foggy concerning the metaphor that escapes. It's akin to the revelation that the solidarity of suffering stops at the park's boundary, just like it did in Moscow where a few blocks away from the caviar and vodka-toasting elitists the simple folk were lined up at the bread lines. I doubt very much that the ones rummaging amongst the left-overs at those banquets ever faced, let alone were forced to stand in those lines. There are still Russians today who bemoan the loss of the good ol' days, aren't there?
And the story of Hillary telling the colonel in charge of the nuclear 'football' to grab the luggage...
Enough wondering...time to go to work.
Indy| 11.18.11 @ 7:54AM
Rome is burning and these people simply do not care, this is so wrong.
Deborah D | 11.18.11 @ 8:50AM
The Left hates the private sector -- except when they stick them up for protection money. Corruption = Washington, D.C. in every corner of that sleazy city. Print money, ignore the consequences. Life is good for them. Let the rest of the country burn down. This is going to take a long time and a real commitment to correct if we're to save the country from these parasites.
Jack in Wi| 11.20.11 @ 6:42AM
Newt Gingrich is the king of K street. He was paid 38 million by the the insiders to be an influence peddler and fixer. He is like the Federal Government, Big Bloated and out of control. He is also hated by about 80% of the electorate, and unelectable.
Petronius| 11.18.11 @ 8:52AM
Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?
JimH| 11.18.11 @ 9:11AM
Please pass the sweet and sour shrimp.
Teaghan| 11.18.11 @ 10:32AM
Darling, would you get me a Gentleman Jack neat, please.
Anthony| 11.18.11 @ 9:20AM
When last we saw Gort, he was about to embark on the destruction of Washington D.C.
Unfortunately, Klatu managed to get that message to the Patricia Neil character to take to Gort.
Alas, but for "Gort, klatu parabus nicto", Washington D.C. would still be a burned out cinder.
Damn that woman!!
Crack Smoker| 11.18.11 @ 9:20AM
I see a metaphor involving a hot-tub, hot women, and some cold Ruinart. Or is that a symbol? Whatever.
cicero| 11.18.11 @ 10:59AM
Ah, to be able to throw a tax srike. Repeal the automatic deduction from paycheck law, and the problem solves itself.
Mike 3/505| 11.18.11 @ 11:19AM
Yep. Until we do that and eliminate the federal government's ability to lock up our financial accounts, we have no way to resist.
Regards,
Mike
Anthony| 11.18.11 @ 12:25PM
And resist we much!!!
Ron| 11.18.11 @ 1:59PM
Mr. McWormwood,
Maybe once, instead of innuendo about the attendees being "Demonrats" publish their names!
That will stir the nest of serpents up big time...of course, it would probably considerably curtail your invitations to the tony affairs you are enjoying, but they would squirm...
RND| 11.18.11 @ 2:30PM
Mr. McWormwood, you'd get even more invites and even better grazing fare if you were a blonde, under 30, with long hair, single and available.
This post-workday ripoff of the nation has gone on in D.C. for DECADES. I briefly dabbled in this scene three decades ago. Aside from the celery sticks, carrot sticks, and bread slices, it was a plastic-world of make-believe, empty, vain people.
K Street/lobbyists/special interests/big money/and government offiical of all stripes who can be bought for as low as $45,000 now determine so much. They decide our fates. They decide legislation. They decide who gets appointed to crucial judicial seats. I believe they have already selected my state's U.S. Senator for election 2012.
We're just to numb and dumb to pay attention. After all there was college football on last night, high school games tonight, big Decider! college matchups on Saturday and season tipping point contests in the NFL on Sunday!
Occam's Tool| 11.18.11 @ 4:46PM
Wish they'd treat lawyers like lawyers treat MDs.
We don't get to go on free cruises no more.
Niniane| 11.18.11 @ 5:48PM
I remember K Street well, working for a couple firms at 1850 for a decade. My bosses always took me along to those gatherings, knowing I would meet interesting people and get treated to great food. It was the beginning of the Carter era and as discussions progressed it became clear that we were in the wrong hands. Soon the gatherings were reduced to quiet meetings between a few players in dark restaurants where few could overhear.
shipley130| 11.18.11 @ 10:38PM
Hell is freezing over and the OWS are the casualties. Meaning that our youth have been taught to think as socialists, act accordingly but the sad joke is on them.
POST American| 11.18.11 @ 11:05PM
--------------------FINAL WORD------------------------
--And as tens of TRILLIONS more are
added onto the 1.4 QUADRILION is FAKE
derivatives debt ----STILL not a peep about
fractional reserve lending (ie psychopathic
USURY) -and almost nothing about the
ILLEGAL, foreign owned, DEBTandUSURY
serf driving, Globalist 'FED'.
Further, NO spotlight of the money
and direction behind OWS
----from ROT-child frontman, George Soar-US.
-----Or is it Sore-US?
"The Federal Reserve has given so many
BILLIONS to (--NAZI--) Germany that they
dare NOT name the total."
REP. Charles McFADDEN
1935
(the very height of the FED
engineered 'Great Depression')
----Think RED China
-------Think TREASON
----------Think NOW
-------------Think FAST
------------------------REAL FAST
--------------HUAC/ NUREMBERG 2012-------------
HungryHank| 11.19.11 @ 10:16AM
Crude cynics at play while the Bastille is burning.
Buck Ofama| 11.19.11 @ 1:09PM
If we're lucky, a rag head will light something off, scare the shit out of everyone, and Newt will get elected. Not suggesting that Newt's a perfect shining example of anything either positive or negative... but we must be rid of the commie c0cksucker in the white house.
Jack in Wi| 11.20.11 @ 6:38AM
Newt Gingrich is the king of K steet. He is Big, Bloated, and Out Of Control
Deborah D | 11.20.11 @ 7:38AM
Yes, and Ron Paul votes against earmarks -- only putting them in to benefit his constituents when he's sure something will pass....then he can vote against. So, that's different how?
Margie| 11.20.11 @ 6:30PM
One is deceitful. The other is honest.
POST American| 11.19.11 @ 10:04PM
----------------------FINAL WORD----------------------
Though you'd never know it from the
ROT-child SOROS funded and scripted OWS,
or its bought off media 'coverage',
Globalist banksterism, epitomized by the
ILLEGAL, foreign owned, USURY and
EUGENICS driven 'FED', remains the
absolute KEY issue.
Tenn Slim| 11.20.11 @ 8:34AM
Enlightening article, for sure.
DC does remain the only Fiscally Bright spot on the Nations dark employment picture.
Get hired by almost any Federal agency, and you are good for at least 18 months of solid, well paying employment.
After November 2012, or maybe Dec 21, 2012, the paychecks may well disappear.
That is, if the 2012 Hopi indians predictions dont come about, prior to the Winter Solstice.
Semper FI
POST American| 11.20.11 @ 10:29PM
"The Federal Reserve has pumped
so many BILLIONS into (--NAZI--)
Germany that they dare NOT name
the total."
Rep. Charles McFADDEN
(1935)
AGAIN, ----this after having installed genocidal
Bolshevism, after instigating the 'Great Depression' ---and BEFORE overseeing
and enabling the handover of the entire
American economy into the hands of the
most awesomely genocidal regime mankind's
ever seen ---ACROSS the Pacific ---ALL AT
American taxayer expense.
--------------HUAC/ Nuremberg 2012-----------------