The American Spectator

(September 17, 2011)

The Progressive
Experimental prose employed on behalf of wit and hilaritas at the agelastic Prog:

New York Representative Anthony Weiner finally admitted to online ickiness. Everyone has a right to be icky, but it made for an odd gay-straight reversal in New York. There were the junk shots, greased ab shots, accusations, and tearful denials from a straight guy while the gay people were fully clothed in Albany, lobbying for the right to gentrify marriage.

(September 2011)

New York
In the pages of an urban American journal of New Age esotery, a report on placentophagia. Can cannibalism be far off?

Jennifer Hughes’s placenta was delivered ten minutes after her first child, just before midnight on March 31. It was on the large side, with a liverish texture and bluish tinge; it measured nine inches in diameter and weighed a pound and a half. Placentas are considered biohazardous waste by the medical establishment and are usually disposed of accordingly. Some hospitals send the afterbirth in formaldehyde to a pathology lab for analysis before it is carted off by a tissue-disposal service; others toss it out with bloody miscellany in special containers.

But in the birth plan that Hughes brought with her to Beth Israel Medical Center, she specified that she wanted to keep her placenta, for cultural reasons. Complying with New York State health regulations, which state that hospitals, “may, at the request of a patient or a patient’s representative, return a healthy placenta for disposition by the patient,” the hospital allows her to take it home, and even packed it up for her.

In some cultures, it is customary to bury the placenta and plant a tree over it.

Hughes had other plans. She was going to eat it.

(August 29, 2011)

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From the Archives
Timeless Tosh from Current Wisdoms Past
(November 1991)

Federal News Service
The Wall Street Journal passes on another oratorical masterpiece preserved by the Federal News Service some time after its point of origin, the Hon. Joseph Biden, finished his three-martini lunch:

Senator Biden: “Okay. I’m beginning to understand. So, natural law informed the notion of liberty. You and I have both read—because of our backgrounds, I suspect—we’ve both read—I won’t get into Aquinas and Augustine and all that, but Locke looked back to the concept of natural law as an evolving notion. Montesquieu talked about it. Jefferson understood it. He was in Paris. He was probably the only one that fully understood it. But others who were there writing the Constitution, they talked about it, they had what they wrote—both the Declaration, as you say, in other places and in the Constitution—they reduced these broad notions of natural law—the natural rights of man to this document.”

(September 12, 1991)

Vancouver Sun
The Vancouver Sun reports on another Toronto tourist trap: