I was for drug screening welfare recipients before I was against
it. Test ‘em all, was my motto. Millions for defense, but not a
cent for tributane. Or psilocybin. Or any other controlled
substance, for that matter.
These days most of us have to pass a drug test before we
can start a new job. It’s a drag and probably unconstitutional, but
we can appreciate why some widget manufacturer wouldn’t want a
bunch of dope fiends on the pay roll. Daily we submit to these and
countless other small indignities just so we can go to work and
start paying pay roll taxes; taxes that sometimes go to support the
drug habits of people who receive public benefits.
I am, of course, talking about college students. As well
as lots of other people, since almost every American gets benefits
from the government at one time or other, whether it is
middle-class welfare like Social Security or higher
education subsidies or Medicare. And please don’t
tell me college students don’t supplement their
drug
binges with federal student aid, or, in some
cases
food stamps. I’ve been to college. I’ve seen it.
Soon my home state of Missouri will require TANF
(Temporary Assistance for Needy Families) recipients to prove they
haven’t been tooting or snorting in order to qualify for benefits.
It’s part of a nationwide trend to crack down on people who receive
public benefits, but don’t work. The New York Times
reports that “policy makers in three dozen states this
year proposed drug testing for people receiving benefits like
welfare, unemployment assistance, job training, food stamps and
public housing.” Not to worry,
none of these policies would deny infants and
children their portion of the welfare benefits. Just the hophead
parent, which is almost always Dear Old Mom. The children’s welfare
payments go to a “third-party vendor.”
Ironically, Republican lawmakers have had no difficulty
creating whole new layers of bureaucracy to enforce these
policies. That’s how government is able to expand like a
“fat tick,” in the folksy words of one presidential
hopeful. Democrats create a new program, and Republicans,
unable to get rid of it, create programs to counteract it. Before
you know it, your state is selling itself on the street corner to
pay its bills.
Another major problem is the screening process. Rather
than require welfare recipients to submit to random drug testing,
officials are supposed to check for reasonable
suspicion of drug use, like glassy eyes and
slurring of speech, which could indicate either a heroin addiction
or a TV coma. In Missouri, the welfare recipient who fails or
refuses a drug test stands to lose a mere $58 a month. If you can
afford to blow $200 a week on crack, why would you kick your drug
habit for a measly $58? Arizona’s law is even dumber.
The state simply requires would-be welfare recipients to fill out a
three-part questionnaire. The first question is something like:
Have you used illegal drugs in the past 30 days? Surprisingly out
of 64,000 recipients, only 16 were stupid enough to
answer yes and were tested.
And you thought Floridians were slow.
I COULD LIVE with all those issues. After all, drugs and
welfare have wreaked more havoc on American society than al Qaeda’s
army of human time bombs could in 600 years. But why pick on
welfare moms to the exclusion of every other middle class junkie
that gets some form of government handout? It would be one thing if
the facts showed conclusively that welfare recipients are the
nation’s biggest drug users. But for all we know, the biggest
abusers are college kids — students who last year received $30
billion in Pell Grants. The National Institutes of Health reports
that nearly 20 percent of college students use drugs. No study of
welfare recipients and drug use, that I am aware of, reports
figures anywhere close to that. And I spent hours googling
it.
With the exception of drug pushers, no one wants taxpayer
money going to subsidize someone’s illegal drug habit. But we
cannot simply pick on TANF recipients, as much as some Republicans
would like to. With this
legislation, only college students and old
hippies like Arlo Guthrie will be able to feed their drug habit
with public benefits. And, as far I can tell, they don’t work
either.
