With apologies to the wonderful wives of America, I must begin
by chuckling at this old joke.
Ominous knocking brings Mister Jones to the front door.
There stand two policemen with guns holstered but faces drawn.
“Sir, may we see a photograph of your wife, please?”
After they look it over, they nod to each other and then
turn to bring Mister Jones some dread tidings. “Sir, it looks like
your wife has been run over by a truck!”
“Oh, I know that,” Mister Jones replies with a laugh. “But
she makes up for it with a great sense of humor!”
One thing you have to give credit to this bunch in the
White House for is they are always good for a laugh. There is not
much governin’ goin’ on out there, but they sure are entertainin’.
Bills pass more in Buffalo than in Washington, yet the D.C. squad
excels at the punt and the fumble. They wanted to create money for
a Jobs Bill by making a tax to bill Jobs, then Jobs and the Bill
both died. All terribly amusing.
The paradox is that this cluelessness makes President
Obama more likely to be reelected. The perception that he no longer
makes much of a real difference other than as a symbol could work
in his favor. Since the Republicans do not have a dynamo to field
against him, their main chance to win comes when people are very
scared of the mischief Obama can do when manning the
helm.
As long as the electorate fears new Obamacare monsters
lumbering through downtown, and new Cairo Speeches boosting Iran
and sinking Israel, it will bequeath his job to whoever the GOP
offers in his place. Once he seems to be a declawed tabby, and they
begin to chortle at his latest monkeyshine, the urge to replace him
will not be strong enough to carry the day.
It is a fact of national politics, no less than school
politics, that one cannot demonize a dolt. If a politician is a
bomb, he can be defused; if he is a dud he just might be ignored.
Allowing him to flounder around in palpable irrelevancy, speaking
in forked tongues at revival meetings of the faithful, could
produce the perverse effect of his flying back into the Oval Office
below the radar.
Those who believe he needs a good whuppin’ have to first
make him smart. What a genius the man is! He has such command of
the issues! And he issues such commands! And what drive he has,
what clubs, what approaches… and that is just his golf
game!
Republican candidates have gone easy on Obama in the
debates. They have taken the high road because they are afraid of
the fast lane. They do not want to put the President down because
they think the public won’t put up with them if they do. Fine, I
say: build him up! Make him Mephistopheles instead of Miss
Malaprop. Make him Doctor Faust instead of Foster Brooks. Make him
Machiavelli instead of Mickey Mouse.
If he looks like a pencil-necked geek, he might get to
stay on Pennsylvania Avenue. But if he is big enough and bad enough
and wolfish enough, if he looks like he is huffing and puffing to
blow the House down, maybe his fairy tale success story will
finally have a happy ending.
My only comfort is that other classic joke about the
husband who summons his wife to his deathbed and asks her to sell
his coin collection after he dies.
“I know you will want to remarry,” he says. “And I hate to
think of some creep getting his hands on my prize
pieces.”
“There is no chance of my marrying a creep,” she replies.
“I never make the same mistake twice.”
