-
Competing at The Cliburn
April 22, 2013 | 3 comments
-
They’ve Got Mail
April 8, 2013 | 1 comment
-
Nailing French Jell-O to the Wall
October 16, 2012 | 6 comments
-
Were You Thinking What I Was Thinking?
August 17, 2012 | 43 comments
-
Mike Wallace: Cheesy or Riveting or Both?
April 16, 2012 | 68 comments
The Nation's Pulse
Gumming Up the Classroom
We prefer shortcuts to honest effort.
As our youngsters continue to be outscored by Asians and Europeans in basic subjects like math and reading, some middle school teachers are resorting to a seemingly desperate measure — allowing chewing gum in the classroom as a performance enhancer.
Chewing our way to better grades? Is this the end of civilization I keep hearing about?
In my youth, gum was banned from the classroom and any girl chewing gum on the playground was considered cheap, low, and dangerous to know.
A friend of mine backs me up. “I rather think gum chewing would lower the IQ,” he said recently over lunch. “The chewer gets that vacant look in the eye, like ruminants in the farmyard.”
Now a mother in the Boston suburbs tells me her children are openly encouraged to try gum as a way of gaining academic edge, specifically improving concentration and memory skills. Some teachers supply the gum and pass it around before the annual all-important MCAS test, the local version of the federal No Child Left Behind program that measures the school’s performance — the test that tests the teachers. Some nervous self-interest there perhaps?
But is there any truth to gum’s alleged magical qualities? For decades, gum manufacturers have been funding dubious health research to try to prove it — then use the results to sell more gum. Something called the Wrigley Science Institute dispenses grants to impoverished academics looking for well-paid projects that are not too complicated.
Junk science is of course nothing new. To my shame, I once ran a Burson-Marsteller program to spread the word for Philip Morris that second-hand smoke was less harmful than drinking tap water. It isn’t.
“The only reason to fund this gum research is to sell more gum,” one nutritionist told CNN recently.
Somehow this attempt to gain edge through gum seems to fit our era of instant gratification and our search for shortcuts as opposed to actual effort.
It is instructive to look abroad and note that Europeans and Asians do not need to chew for performance, nor are they influenced by the large advertising budgets of the gum makers. Singapore banned chewing gum and bubble gum from its territory for 12 years yet their children were always among the highest achievers. Under pressure from U.S. Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush plus a gaggle of lobbyists, Singapore has now agreed to allow gum to be imported, but only medicinal varieties and made available only in pharmacies that require the purchaser’s ID. The Wrigley people who pressed for this change are delighted.
American children can hardly escape the gum and breath-freshener culture spread by B-list celebrities such as Larry King in ubiquitous television commercials. The King, alongside his seventh wife Shawn Southwick, warns young and old alike to do something about their halitosis. Here we have another depressing fact in Larry’s long list – he has bad breath.
As if the advertisers were not enough, we now face the elongated climax of the baseball season on television featuring role model players in their pajamas blowing pink bubbles as they wait for something to happen on the field. One of the Arizona Diamondbacks, fresh out of bubble gum when he needed it, was caught on TV chewing on the crucifix he wears around his neck for good luck. It failed him this time. The Brewers went on to the National League playoffs.
But in the gum-chewing world, it was the recently sacked Red Sox manager Terry Francona who wins. Boston was aghast when an alert cameraman caught him rolling a wadge of double-bubble around a tobacco chaw and stuffing it in his mouth. The camera came back to him during the game for an update and observed him working the mess all the way down to his thrapple.
“I knew Terry was going to blow it,” said my lunch companion, “and he did.”
Boston will try again next year but without Terry’s bubblegum.
We may hope that gum will also disappear from our schools as teachers realize they have been misled by public relations and advertising.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (38) | Leave a comment
More Articles by Michael Johnson
More Articles From The Nation's Pulse
http://spectator.org/archives/2011/10/10/gumming-up-the-classroom
Follow us:
ADVERTISEMENT
SPONSORED LINKS
FLASHBACK TO: 1995
-
Pope Culture
A man of faith in a godless age is hitting Americans where it hurts.
-
Why the GOP Does Not, Like, Totally Suck
Mr. and Mrs. American Spectator Reader, let P.J. O’Rourke talk sense to your kids.
-
Dames at Sea
-
In the Absence of Guns
In Britain, defending your property can get you life.
-
The Metaphysical Martini
-
Counting the Costs of Clintonism
The debacle of this president’s administration is both a cause and a symptom of the decline of American values. Unless Congress impeaches him, that decline will go on unchecked. An eminent jurist surveys the damage and assesses the chances for the recovery of our culture.
-
Chuck McHagel
It won’t take long for conservatives to scratch this presidential wannabe off their 2008 scorecard.
-
The Legacy of Old John and Mother Fresh-Roasted
-
It’s the Best Time of the Year
The American Christmas, like the songs that celebrate it, makes room for everybody under the rainbow. Is that why so many people seem to be hostile to it?
-
The Bush Crack-Up
Was the President done in by the economy, or by the politics of the economy?
Clip of the Day
ADVERTISEMENT
Rob Schapiro| 10.10.11 @ 7:54AM
In high achieving Singapore, gum chewing is considered a public nuisance and littering with it can be punished. We look down on them for this "uncivilized" approach.
In flaccid, academically sinking America we now hold up gum chewing as the latest snake oil treatment to stop our kids shrinking grades. Of course it will fail. Perhaps we need to stop laughing at Singapore and learn from them. Or are we still too civilized to do that?
Asia Minor| 10.10.11 @ 10:34AM
I once attended a funeral of a relative, and I was horrified to see two of his children chewing gum--their jaws moving rhymically up and down--while they walked solemnly (but stupidly) up the aisle with the rest of the family to the strains of an ancient hymn.
What a ludicrous sight they made! Talk about low class. How about no class.
Tom| 10.10.11 @ 10:36AM
Were these children adults?
Asia Minor| 10.10.11 @ 10:37AM
They were indeed adults--both of them middle-aged.
Amy| 10.10.11 @ 11:32AM
I, too, saw an adult member of the family of the deceased chewing gum in the church during the funeral!
Unspeakably bad taste, in my opinion.
73 w/a bad knee| 10.10.11 @ 11:34AM
Nothing surprises me anymore. It seems that dignified demeanor no longer has any meaning.
e. childress| 10.10.11 @ 11:37AM
Dignified? That's an adjective that has become pejorative in these vulgar times. And it seems the word vulgar now has positive connotatons.
kate| 10.10.11 @ 4:40PM
Forget about the gum. They need to learn history. Rigorous testing every year. Otherwise..we're all socialists now.
mcr| 10.11.11 @ 6:47AM
Many times I see people chewing gum during Mass, its awful. Then they go up to the communion line to receive communion with the gum still in their mouth!!! I ask you, what do they do with the gum when they have the host in their mouth??? That has always stumped (and disgusted) me.
Occam's Tool| 10.10.11 @ 12:27PM
Home School. By my wife, who has an accounting degree, Summa Cum Laude.
albert constantine jr.| 10.10.11 @ 8:33AM
In non-gum chewing Singapore, vandals and graffiti "artists" are caned. Academic achievers are rewarded. As a result, Singapore's students tend to be more disciplined academic achievers. we, on the other hand, have the "Occupy Wall Street" crowd.
Timothy L. Pennell| 10.10.11 @ 8:40AM
Never forget, who these Teachers are. We all saw them on display, in Madison Wisconsin. They are the smartest Teachers, that ever lived. They are members of a FAR LEFT Union. And they are not held accountable.
Quite the mix.
They don't do things, the way our Teachers used to. The three R's: Reading, Riting and Rithmatic, have been replaced by Racism, Radicalism, and Re-Education.
Memorization has been replaced by........Actually, I don't know what it's been replaced by. We, as Parents, have had to endure Outcome Based education, which, basically means that, if Johnny puts on his paper that 2+2=11? Well, we're gonna give him CREDIT, for trying so goddamn hard. And, we never use a RED PEN, to correct the papers. It hurts their Self Esteem. "Now. Let's all take out our CALCULATORS."
In Johnny's Social Studies Class, he's gonna learn about all of the SLAVES that our NO GOOD Founding Fathers had, and how they counted Blacks as 3/5ths of a person, because they were RACIST, and not because they wanted to keep the Representation of the Slave States, in the House of Representatives, lower, than it otherwise would be, if they were counted as a whole person.
They will learn that the Indians, were God's Gift to the world, and that the Europeans were Racist Murderers. That, the Civil War had NOTHING to do with Slavery. That Japan was JUSTIFIED in Bombing Pearl Harbour, and that we only dropped the BOMBS on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, because Japs are Yellow. The Rosenbergs were Innocent. McCarthy never discovered any Communists in the Government, J. Edgar Hoover was a HOMO, and Barack Hussein Obama is the Greatest President we've ever had.
Reading? They read. They read about the Joys of Homosexuality and Anal Sex. They read about how NORMAL it is, to have 2 Mommies, or, 2 Daddies, or to have 2 Daddies, with one of them dressed like a woman. They read about Touching Themselves.
There is a REASON that U.S. Corporations have to GO ELSEWHERE, to find Employees. American kids are not being taught what they need to succeed. And, Companies are not in the Tutoring Business. So, unless there's a Company that needs someone to put a CONDOM on a piece of Fruit, or a Vegetable, these kids cannot find work.
Bill| 10.10.11 @ 8:58AM
In my high school, our academic leaders tried to enhance our performance by giving us an extra class every day in which we engaged in building our vocabulary, buttressing some of our simpler math skills, and the like. It wasn't "homeroom," with that exercise's dull boredom of just sitting there waiting for the bell to ring, but an interactive session with an involved teacher.
I don't suppose doing such a thing has ever crossed the minds of the particular brand of teacher discussed in the comment, and besides, it's probably not in the union contract.
David W| 10.10.11 @ 9:09AM
All I know is that if I were taking an important test and people around me were chewing (and smacking/popping) gum I'd be so distracted I would probably fail. If you watch most peope chew you would swear that there are dogs that do a better job of keeping their mouth closed when chewing than these people.
Mike Hawk| 10.10.11 @ 9:39AM
Add to it the highly irritating snap, crack and pop the ignorant slobs emit. I hate it as much as anything that irritats me. It may be #1 especially when it's an older supposedly mature male. When I saw a video of John Edwards chewing a wad and smacking it in an interview I knew then and there he was trialer trash. I swear if cell phones and gum were eliminated, youngs girls and dumb blondes would have nothing to do.
mcr| 10.11.11 @ 6:50AM
Yes that snapping drives me looney, I run from it when I hear or I give the gum chewer a dirty look. They don't get it.
grant1863| 10.10.11 @ 9:37AM
Are these the same Europeans whose economies are blowing up? And Japan whose economy has been dead in the water for years?
DaveD| 10.10.11 @ 10:24AM
If implemented, we could get an answer to the question: Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the school desk overnight?
Drunken Sailor| 10.10.11 @ 11:11AM
If the teacher says don't chew it, do they swallow it in spite?
albert constantine jr| 10.10.11 @ 4:30PM
If you catch it on your tonsils, do you heave it left and right? (Without too small a point on it, as Mr. Donegan asked, "If tins whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?")
Dave | 10.10.11 @ 12:08PM
As an old schooler who was occasionally ordered by a teacher to deposit my double wad of pink gum to the trash bucket, I remember, very well, the taboo on classroom chewing.
Having said that ...
If gum consumption in the classroom is now a preferable and politically advised part of the government school system, I can only imagine the molar to molar grins on the faces of Pud and Bazooka Joe.
For now, I'm wondering if these recent "free chewing zone" preferences have cut down on the wads of Dubble Bubble that, too often, got deposited under some kid's desk. Actually, and now that I think about it, with as environmentally motivated as government school administrators are today, they'll probably require the stuff to be recycled for later use as some kind of renewable adhesive agent. I don't know if it'd actually fuse bricks and boards together, but at least it'd be non-toxic. And besides, maybe the government can order the Gibson Guitar Company to use it as an adhesive bonder to paste their keyboards together while still being friendly to the environment.
See, if you're with the EPA, that kind of critical thinking makes perfectly good sense.
Lemmie know how that works for 'ya.
cicero| 10.10.11 @ 12:36PM
To chew gum, or not to chew gum: that is the question. Whether it be more noble. . .
After reading David Mamet's new book, is it any wonder the kids need chewing gum to keep themselves interested in anything. The fact of the matter is that the curricula have been so dumbed down, that anyone of average intelligence is bored out of their skulls.
The last statistic I read had 47% of highshcool students were not prepared/qualified for freshman college work. According to Mamet, the college work is not worth expending effort on.
My observation as a father who educated 5, agrees with Mamet. There is no comparison between the humanities courses I took oh so long ago, with what my kids were exposedd to.
We needn't waste too much time worrying about chewing gum. We should be looking at the entire education system, and trying to reform it.
MikeBee| 10.10.11 @ 1:23PM
The success of Asian children in schools is very closely tied to their families, and to the discipline which children encounter there. Asian families contain both parents, not an overwhelmed single parent. The children of Asian families receive discipline from their parents, and are taught respect for Authority and for their Elders.
Children in the U.S. are not taught any of the above, and, often are from "families" with only a single parent. Instead, U.S. children are taught that Mom and Dad (if there is one) are old fogies, that respect for your Elders is an old-fashioned value, no longer relevant, and that they are smarter than their parents. Is it any wonder that children in the U.S. score much lower on achievement tests that do Asian children?
Success in the schools will ALWAYS start with success at home in raising decent members of society. One gets what one asks for in this regard. Change the family structure and you will change the test scores of its children. Do not encourage single-parent families. Do not encourage divorce for almost any reason. Do not encourage children to do whatever they want, without discipline or accountability. Teach respect for adults and for elders. Remove unruly children from the classrooms, never to receive an education if they never learn respect. Place the incentives in the right place, and you will have good results.
The schools, no matter their problems, are not the central cause of lower test scores. The families (or, lack thereof) are.
MikeBee| 10.10.11 @ 2:27PM
Michael,
Having said all this, I DO agree that there are some pretty crazy ideas coming out of academia. Most of these ideas are spawned in the universities by people who have never seen the inside of the classroom, from a teacher's standpoint, especially an urban classroom. Chewing gum makes one smarter? Sounds like another one of those "turn everything upside down" ideas, many of which have only harmed learning in the classroom through the years. Some baby boomer was told, relentlessly, by Sister Mary So-and-So, to remove her chewing gum, much to her embarrassment. Now, this grown-up child is in a position of responsibility in a University, and has posited a research paper now "proving" that, if she had only been allowed to chew gum, rather than being embarrassed by her teacher, she would have scored much better on tests in school, and wouldn't have had to settle for an Education degree in academia.
pstreitz | 10.10.11 @ 4:13PM
This is really dumb. "Outscored." This article ignores racial realities. Japan (homogenous), Sweden (homogenous) and other such countries with either a white or Asian population, score higher than the U.S.. But if African-Americans and Hispanics were taken out of the American sample, the United States would score about the same.
This article just ignores the reality of racial differences in IQ
PattyMor| 10.10.11 @ 4:59PM
Well another "feel good" fix to the education process, instead of fixing the education process.
How about instead:
1. Putting discipline back into the schools.
2. Putting principles in charge and not the unions
3. Demand progress or get out of education
4. If parents can't parent, then let's bring back orphanages.
More money is NOT the answer.
R2D2| 10.10.11 @ 7:21PM
Show videos of former athletes like Dexter Manley and Elvin Hayes who finished college, got diplomas and then moved to bigtime sports with million dollar contracts.
Show when they finally broke down and admitted that they cannot read, how they wasted all those years in high school and college (while, of course, on scholarship). Reveal how they more than dabbled in drugs, got criminal records, squandered countless money, health, friendships, important relationships, and possibly their lives.
kate| 10.11.11 @ 1:41AM
going back to gum...just irritate anal people.
kate| 10.11.11 @ 1:51AM
gum has nothing to do with the inability of the youth to comprehend that they will actually have to work for a living (albeit much harder than their parents, thanks to their liberal teachers)
we chewed gum in the seventies and we moved out during/after college and made lives for ourselves...including 6 month dental checkups.
going to buy some gum tomorrow. for old times sake.
R. Kavanagh| 10.10.11 @ 6:22PM
There are far more failing teachers than is ever mentioned of course. They are unwilling to educate students constructively and the resulting minds of mush after "feel good 101" for 12 years come out ready for nothing than a warped sense of entitlement looking for a handout. "Please sir, can I have some more?" Teachers unions are a sad deluded bunch whose sole reason to exist at all is the tenure racket. To think that these thugs are actually allowed to mold minds is disturbing, the results, a forgone conclusion.
R2D2| 10.10.11 @ 7:29PM
Odd. I've never heard that smacking one's jaws with gum between might stimulate mental performance.
Doubtful.
Unless....yes, we all know that peppermint or spearmint (mint) does help stimulate. It does. It perks someone up. A Brach's candy cane mint does this; a Peppermint Patty. So mind gum as well?
Actually yes.
But I'd prefer to make the kids do 3 virorous minutes of jumping jacks followed by deep lunges, and then pushups if they start getting foggy headed and drifting off at about 1:45 p.m.
180 seconds of this (no more needed if done right) and then back to the math drills, chemistry, biology, geology, and computer science lessons.
Now, dentists will often tell you that gum chewing helps fight tooth decay, plaque, gum disease. All that saliva action that gum chewing creates works to reduce the damaging efforts against teeth and gums.
Is this what the teachers are promoting? A little collaboration with the ADA?
D Roamer | 10.10.11 @ 9:01PM
If I were talking to someone and were chewing away mindlessly , I would end my conversation, and move on. If the dolt ask me why; I would say I cannot tolerate this rudeness, and I feel sorry for you for not recognizing it.
kate| 10.11.11 @ 1:39AM
dolt
toadold| 10.10.11 @ 10:32PM
There is a thing called alcoholic retention. A few shots help you relax while you are trying to learn things. The draw back is you need to drink during the test to recall what you learned while "relaxed."
So I wonder why the educational establishment never advocated open bars and hip flasks for school. Snark/Off
kate| 10.11.11 @ 1:30AM
RATHER CHEWING GUM THAN SOCIALISM!!!!!!
(sorry for the caps, but rather frustrated with this political system!)
kate| 10.11.11 @ 1:38AM
what a pathetic group of people. bitching about gum. do you read the news?
You will be lucky to have gum when those of us with some bleach and fishing abilities will be able to help you.
shit heads.