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The Nation's Pulse
SpongeBob and His Enemies
Our friends in academia have a new target. And he lives in a pineapple under the sea.
A study by a graduate student and a psychology professor at the University of Virginia examined cognitive function in four-year-olds after they had watched nine minutes of “a very popular fantastical cartoon about an animated sponge that lives under the sea,” i.e., SpongeBob SquarePants. They then compared these findings to those derived from examining the cognitive function of four-year-olds after watching nine minutes of a slower paced cartoon.
The results? After viewing the show about the absorbent and yellow and porous creature, children performed worse on various tests. The conclusions proved consistent with the authors’ postulate that “fast-paced shows seem particularly likely to have a negative impact on attention.”
The study characterizes the show that they compare favorably with SpongeBob SquarePants as “a realistic Public Broadcasting Service cartoon about a typical US preschool-aged boy.” Their bizarre description tells us more about the authors than it does about Caillou, a moralistic Canadian show about a whiny, bald, infantilized four-year-old whose main interaction with the world comes through condescending grandparents and slo-mo parents who have mistaken Prozac for one of the four foods groups. A few viewings of Caillou may prompt otherwise normal adults to ponder the wisdom of repealing laws against child battery, at least as they pertain to animated minors.
Though lacking an advanced degree, I have been conducting my own scientific experiment on the effects of television on children for several years now. My sample group of two is smaller than the University of Virginia’s sample group of sixty. But I have observed my lab rats longer and more intensely. In the name of science, I even allow them to live with me and share my last name.
My conclusions, reached long before the researchers began their study at the University of Virginia, are that Caillou should never air in my home — it’s banned — but SpongeBob SquarePants is not only permitted but practically obligatory. It is the lone cartoon that I watch with my kids, eh, test subjects. Children may not learn much from television. But, as human Xerox machines, they do imitate it. If you want a baby-talking brat who complains about his bread still having the crusts, allow your child to watch Caillou. If you want a congenitally happy four-year-old, turn on SpongeBob SquarePants.
My older child speaks the raspberry interspersed diction popular in Rock Bottom. He announces “Living like Larry” prior to embarking upon daring couch stunts. And he periodically refers to diverse edibles as “crabby patties.” If all of this misses you, then you’re missing out. The adventures of happy-go-lucky SpongeBob, professional mope Squidward, the avaricious Mr. Crabs, and the other colorful denizens of Bikini Bottom remains the top-rated children’s show more than a decade after its launch for good reason. And for good reason Caillou has been mercifully cancelled.
I don’t question the Pediatrics study’s conclusion. I question their question. A scientific study asking which cartoons are best for your brain is like a debate about which grape soda is healthiest for your body. If you turn on an animated program with the idea of producing a child as smart as Sandy, then you may be surprised to soon encounter the mind of Patrick. Cartoons are entertainment. SpongeBob makes no pretense about this. Could it be that children’s shows that tout educational benefits do so because they fail as entertainment?
A television isn’t a classroom and a classroom isn’t a television. The related movements to make education more entertaining and entertainment more educational dilute the strengths of both.
My scientific experiment found that the television makes a good reward or punishment but a bad babysitter. Prolonged exposure inhibits focus and engenders misbehavior. The Pediatrics article suggests switching from SpongeBob to Caillou but it doesn’t consider the possibility of switching off entirely, which is what my family did from February to August and before that from 2006 to 2008. Children become more animated without all the animation. Parents parent instead of outsource their responsibilities to Nickelodeon, PBS, or more unfit guardians. When televisions go dark families light up.
But some still look for intelligence from the idiot box. An editorial introducing the Pediatrics study touts the “educational benefits of high-quality preschool programming.” Even someone who lives in a pineapple under the sea wouldn’t fall for such nonsense.
About the Author
Daniel J. Flynn, the author of The War on Football: Saving America’s Game, blogs at www.flynnfiles.com.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (56) | Leave a comment
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P. Arthurson| 10.3.11 @ 6:27AM
"A television isn't a classroom and a classroom isn't a television."
I agree entirely. But not only television. No punishment is too horrible for those who would turn The Lord of the Rings and the Chronicles of Narnia into school texts, killing all their delight.
Brian Mc| 10.3.11 @ 6:43AM
Couldn't help but whistle the old Warner Bros. cartoon jingle and pining for the good ol' days. At least, I think it was Warner Brothers....what did they used to tell us about watching too much of the "Three Stooges"?
USSAlabama| 10.3.11 @ 7:26AM
I LOVE SpongeBob. Since my two subjects are now teens I miss the cheerful and hilarious community and all of the catchy songs.
Bet you could sing 'Ripped Pants' without a lyric sheet.
Valerye | 10.3.11 @ 12:57PM
You could watch it by yourself. If you need an "excuse" just say it's for the nostalgia.
irish19| 10.3.11 @ 2:05PM
I dunno. Call me curmudgeonly, but a little SpongeBob goes a long way.
Occam's Tool| 10.3.11 @ 7:40PM
Irish,
I watch TV primarily for its somnolence inducing value---after admitting a particularly loathsome human being, it helps me go back to sleep. Spongebob and MST3K are great soporifics.
Doctor Right| 10.3.11 @ 8:08AM
So let me get this straight...
A bunch of academic egg-heads did a "study" proving that when kids watch crazy, frenetic shows, they get crazy and frenetic, too?
Memo to Egg-heads: DUH!!!
For the love of all that is Holy, would you do-gooders get the HE'LL out if our lives once and for all?!?!
Toilets, salt, light-bulbs...Sponge-Bob?!?!?
I agree with Mr. Flynn...Sponge-Bob is a GREAT cartoon, and one of the few that children and adults can enjoy together, albeit for different reasons. Kids just love the wackiness of Sponge-Bob and his equally bizarre friends, while adults can snicker at the "Easter egg" jokes and references that kids don't get, but laugh at anyway. In that regard, Sponge-Bob maybe the cleverest, most creative animated show since The Simpsons.
My wife and I will decide what our kids watch...Not Obama's newest Cartoon Czar.
Get OUT of our lives.
oldfart| 10.3.11 @ 8:22AM
Agreed what is wrong with a child being a child and adults who want to remember their childhood? And for the two to share that experience.
How many of us grew with with Road Runner? We did not turn into brain damaged adults because of the 'situations' and traps that Wile E. Coyote got himself into trying to catch his next meal.
Brubaker| 10.3.11 @ 6:36PM
"What is wrong with a child being a child?"
That's precisely the question that leftist do-gooders can never seem to confront, much less answer. There's a time for disciplined learning, but there also should be time for just plain fun.
Rurik| 10.3.11 @ 7:35PM
Indeed. There should be some of each - but never the twain should meet.
Occam's Tool| 10.3.11 @ 10:54AM
My daughter aced her California Achievement tests last year, missing only 6 questions on her 2nd grade test. She's being homeschooled. She loves SpongeBob, and she is using the SonShine curricula now and is almost done with the 3rd grade curricula in October. She will probably finish the fourth grade curricula by May.
She also plays, loves horseback riding, and is an all around great kid. She is a Mayan Indian adopted from Guatemala---she shares none of my genome, for which I am thankful.
I call Bullshit on this.
Ed| 10.3.11 @ 11:37AM
For Baby Boomers, Rocky and Bullwinkle had a similar theme. Little kids enjoyed the cartoons, while adults caught the sly and subtle satire, especially with the spin offs like Dudley Do-Right, Peabody's Improbable History, and Fractured Fairy Tales.
"But Boris, what we do with Moose and Squirrel?"
irish19| 10.3.11 @ 2:07PM
True. I remember my father getting up from Sunday breakfast, finished or not, so he could watch Dudley Do-Right.
W| 10.3.11 @ 7:33PM
Bugs Bunny, Yogi Bear, and Popeye.
Occam's Tool| 10.3.11 @ 7:41PM
I don't notice them slamming Japanese Anime, which is a HELL of A Lot Worse.
RT| 10.3.11 @ 8:09AM
Some of my best memories are of watching Bugs Bunny and his associates with my dad and my brother. All three of us laughed until our sides hurt. It sounds like this killjoy at UVa would then conclude that watching Looney Tunes causes painful sides...
Quartermaster| 10.3.11 @ 7:01PM
You just admitted that they do. So, what's the problem?
Appleby| 10.4.11 @ 1:34PM
The Warner Brothers cartoons were made for adults, as they were shown as a warm-up to a feature movie in a theatre. That is why they are so entertaining regardless of your age. I have a video of World War II Warner Brothers cartoons that cannot be shown on TV anymore because they are too forthright -- some of them mock the Germans and Japanese, and our favourite one, "Gremlins from the Kremlin" mocks both the Germans and the Russians -- and we all not only laugh our heinies off over them, but we know them all by heart. (Although the one starring Frank Sinatra as a Rooster and Bing Crosby as a Duck went over our heads when we were kids, because by the time we were old enough to recognize the names, Frankie and Bing didn't look like that any more.)
Le Cracquere| 10.3.11 @ 8:17AM
Mark my words: somewhere at the bottom of all this, you'll find Plankton. You heard it here.
oldfart| 10.3.11 @ 8:23AM
Good One!!
irish19| 10.3.11 @ 2:08PM
LOL!!
Melvin| 10.3.11 @ 8:57AM
Those overly educated Nimrods fail to see one basic fact of Sponge Bob and every other nonsensical cartoon.
The content of this type of media is called...."Entertainment." We watch, we laugh, five minutes later our brains discharge most of the content. Our brains are relieved because for a short time it was released from all the worldly pressures, and was given a break.
Hmmm. I wonder if a could get a grant. Since Gov. Beverley Perdue of NC has lost her mind, anything is possible right?
P.Smith| 10.3.11 @ 9:08AM
I once saw that pbs drivel called Caillou and told my wife something to the effect of “I never want my kids to watch that crap.” I don’t care if they watch Sponge Bob Square Pants though, and in fact I enjoy it too. In some ways as a cartoon Sponge Bob probably comes closer to the Looney Tunes which are the best cartoons ever put together, but without the violence and the degree of political incorrectness…I wish they would bring those old cartoons back for regular viewing. When my children watch the few that we have on DVD, they love them just as we all did when we were kids.
One of the things that I especially like about Sponge Bob, that is not seen anywhere in entertainment that I know of, is that he goes to work at the Crusty Crab and loves his job flipping Crappy Patties and is loyal to his employer for really no reason except that I guess it’s the right thing to do.
Grzmlyk| 10.3.11 @ 9:56AM
I do not have kids, but I used to watch Sponge Bob with my neice and nephew relatively frequently.
I found it entertaining and sweet, unlike the unwatchable Disney drivel that appeals to the age group they've entered into now.
That's the stuff that'll rot your brain. Watching very bad child actors do very poor renditions of long-since shopworn and tired comic bits that weren't funny when they were new is like fingernails on a blackboard to me.
P.Smith| 10.3.11 @ 10:48AM
One other comment about SBSP (Sponge Bob Square Pants): I also like the fact that the smartest character on the show is Sandy, a squirrel from Texas. My experience is that the smartest people are from Texas, and no I am not necessarily a Rick Perry Fan.
Occam's Tool| 10.3.11 @ 11:38AM
Indeed---look at Ken, Cowgirl, etc. Hell, I graduated from TCU and UTMB, and they were tougher for me than UCLA.
Petronius| 10.3.11 @ 9:13AM
The first squawks I remember about cartoons from colleges concerned Bullwinkle playing football. When his guidance counselor found out he was an athlete, his course load was dumbed down and there were hissy fits galore from the NCAA top 10. But those complaints were from A.D.'s and fund raisers. These days they spend their time keeping first string pond life out of trouble by supporting and closeting this year's main squeezes and illegitimate kids. Most other complaints came from parents concerning cartoon mayhem about shows now forgotten. And now this. If Sponge Bob wasn't commercial, it wouldn't get attacked. Childrens' television has been a platform for leftist propaganda be it commercial or subsidized going on 40 years. The real beef this crew has is redolent of the six year old yelling, "hey mommy, look at me." Since they aren't getting any traction, that next government grant is a lot tougher to reel in. Yet with all the profligacy and waste there remains hope that normal civilized people will prevail. When the Berlin wall fell and the Soviet Union threw in the towel, the number one show on television in Russia the following year was the Flintstones.
John Navratil| 10.3.11 @ 9:24AM
I'm not commenting on "Sponge Bob" as I haven't been properly exposed to it. My youngest is almost twenty.
What I have seen since before my children watched cartoons and throughout the period of time they were present in my house was a plot completely devoid of moral consequences. The scenario was always...
(1) One of our happy group strays from the reservation and gets into trouble with the evil one.
(2) The group bands together to save their hapless friend.
(3) Evil skulks off defeated.
Message: The individual is weak, the group is strong, evil is never defeated. Not a good one in my opinion.
John Navratil| 10.3.11 @ 9:26AM
Too quick on the "submit" button.
(3) Evil skulks off thwarted in his mission, but not defeated.
Bill| 10.3.11 @ 9:37AM
When I was a child I NEVER watched the Ding Dong School and Watch Mr. Wizard type shows with any regularity. Instead, I watched the Walt Disney shows, where their screenwriters often made an effort to weave real history into their exciting adventure stories. Shows like The Great Locomotive Chase taught me about the Civil War and some of the lesser-known real incidents of it, Johnny Tremain about the American Revolution, Westward Ho the Wagons and the Andy Burnett shows about Manifest Destiny and the westward expansion of the nation, The Saga of Davy Crockett about the Texas Revolution and a few of its issues. And many other things; yes, they were simplistic; yes, they were flag-waving in their attitude; yes, they focused on derring-do and bravery, but also yes, they told the viewer about real things.
Sheila| 10.3.11 @ 11:06AM
That was before Eisner and his ilk destroyed Disney's original vision and started churning out movies touting the joys of diversity, multiculturalism, and political correctness. I believe I read their movie with a black princess bombed. Pre-1970 Disney is pretty much okay; anything subsequent is to be avoided assiduously.
Occam's Tool| 10.3.11 @ 11:40AM
"Their movie with a Black Princess bombed..."
Sheila, are you really that much of an idiot?
Melvin| 10.3.11 @ 9:56AM
For once in my mortal life, I would like to see Wile E. Coyote catch the Road Runner, whack his head off with a ACME hatchet, roast his carcass in a nice desert evening fire, and watch Wile E. Coyote with a sated grin on his face, picking parts of the Road Runner off his teeth with a tooth pick, and look directly at the camera and go... "Beep, Beep, Thripppp." Then let out a belch that the entire desert could hear.
RT| 10.3.11 @ 5:58PM
Melvin, I agree. I always rooted for poor old Wile to catch that punk roadrunner.
Quartermaster| 10.3.11 @ 7:08PM
He did catch him. Wile E's genius outsmarted himself as he had shrunk himself before he caught the Road Runner. He wasn't able to do much after that except hold on for dear life.
sdb| 10.3.11 @ 10:14AM
If you want something both entertaining and educational, my kids absolutely love LeapFrog's 'Talking Letters Factory' and 'Talking Words Factory' (both teach phonics). My 1st grader was reading chapter books last year (and can comprehend and remember the story) and my 2 yr old can recognize all his letters and knows their sounds. No brag, just fact (okay, maybe a little brag).
Don't know about Spongebob, but nothing can beat Phineas and Ferb. A couple of intelligent kids that spend every day of summer vacation, not chained to a TV or game console in the house, but creating fantastic inventions with a group of friends. It never occurs to them that there might be limits on imagination, initiative, or ingenuity. I think I enjoy it more than the kids!
Dan Hirsch| 10.3.11 @ 10:37AM
Probably.
DTOM
irish19| 10.3.11 @ 2:12PM
Phineas and Ferb are pretty cool.
Occam's Tool| 10.3.11 @ 7:42PM
Yup. My kids like them too. I think Ike identifies as the put upon brothers.
TexasLighthouse| 10.3.11 @ 10:48AM
Love this article! Thanks for sharing!
I, too, enjoy watching Spongebob with my children. It's their favorite cartoon and they quote it all the time.
NotALibertarian| 10.3.11 @ 11:39AM
SpongeBob is produced by a bunch of preachy social libs. They just hide it better than the Calliou folks.
We allowed our kids to watch SpongeBob in the hotel room while on vacation. The entire episode was a very transparent attempt to propagandize in favor of legalizing drugs. (A humorless female character has crabby patties banned, they continue making them in secret anyway, one inadvertantly flies into her mouth at the end and she "learns" how wrong she was.)
Just a bunch of liberal drivel, all-the-more contemptible for the sophisticated way it is delivered.
Johnny H| 10.3.11 @ 11:41AM
The theme song at the start of the show says it all about the show's intent...
"...If nautical nonsense be something you wish
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish..."
It's nautical nonsense, entertaining in its silliness and I heartily recommend it to kids of all ages, this 52 year old included.
Hey, pointy headed intellectual do-gooder types... yeah, I'm talking to you... get out of my life and get a real job. Stop manufacturing crises and subjects of "study" that require funding from my tax dollars!!
Franco| 10.3.11 @ 12:27PM
I never watched the show until I heard the first two lines of the theme song:
"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
"Yellow and squishy and porous is he..."
"Porous?" I mean, you have to respect the clever use of a word like "porpus" in a cartoon. It's a clever, literate cartoon. Even my 75 y/o mom like s it (as do my toddlers).
JFGalt| 10.3.11 @ 12:42PM
The academia piece sounds like it was more of a PR piece to push for PBS funding than anything.
Maria M.| 10.3.11 @ 1:16PM
I laughed out loud at this! I, too, banned Caillou from our house, because I noticed that my then-four-year-old daughter would imitate Caillou's whiny voice and attitude after watching it. So, Caillou was not welcome in our house. We used to watch Spongebob - and quite enjoyed it - but the potty humor was getting to be a bit too much. So, we haven't watched it in a loooong time. After reading this, I might decide that Spongebob once a week might be okay. ;)
TrueBlue| 10.3.11 @ 2:01PM
Same reason I don't like the show, no let my kids watch it, the potty humor. But to each their own. Even the shows I enjoyed when I was younger had a bit of it in there, the newer shows just seem to put more and more of it in.
Instead, thanks to the magic of Netflix, my kids watch old Spiderman and Fat Albert cartoons. But I agree, let kids be kids, just don't turn the tube into a babysitter. Most of those "learning" shows are horrible!
Foxfier | 10.4.11 @ 1:23AM
They're worse than horrible, they're _BORING._
You want educational cartoons? Go get Animaniacs, and freaking interact with your kids-- I don't let my kids watch SB because it annoys me, not because it's "bad for them" according to some study that even I can see big problems with. (Short version: SB is highly active; PBS cartoons are slow. What happens when you have two folks do pushup when one just finished running five miles while the other walked around the room for two minutes?)
Heck, SB and the "Fairy Odd Parents" (not sure if that's the right name) also give me another teaching opportunity: manners. I LOATH that style of cartoon-- but my sister loves it. So when she and her son visit, I don't utter a peep if they want to watch them, and if I'm visiting someone and they turn on the TV "for the kids," I thank them.
TrueBlue| 10.4.11 @ 12:50PM
Animaniacs has its share of toilet humor, but overall still lightyears better than Spongebob.
Appleby| 10.4.11 @ 1:41PM
Animaniacs on YouTube shows the Countries of the World (of 1993 -- some of them have changed names and others don't exist anymore) with flags and with the countries; they show the Warner Brothers and Sister singing the Presidents of the USA, the States and their Capitals, and the Periodic Table. I have learned a lot from the Animaniacs. I have to confess I like their version of the Macarena the best though, because it teaches me nothing.
Skippy| 10.3.11 @ 5:33PM
As a child, my daughter loved SBSP.
As her Dad, I loved anything that made her happy.
Now she is an R.N., and a UCLA grad.
Obviously, cartoons destroyed her life.
BTW, Patrick is my idol. His searing intellect always stuns me.
Occam's Tool| 10.3.11 @ 7:44PM
Indeed, Skippy. My wife strongly intellectually identifies with Patrick, as well. She's smarter than me. I wonder....
Petronius| 10.3.11 @ 8:11PM
Come back Pinky and Brain. All is forgiven.
POST American| 10.4.11 @ 2:03AM
-----IS this really the most timely
and relevant piece we can come up
with as the Globalist---USURY---RED China
TREASON and EUGENICS OP is pressing
us into the 11th hour?
-----------HUAC meets NUREMBERG------2012
Dan Mathewson| 10.4.11 @ 9:12AM
Actually, it is. Another attempt at gov't interference in our private lives. You're tiresome POST American
general summerall| 10.15.11 @ 10:34PM
Am still loyal to the Animaniacs after 20 years. Little kids might not get the allusions to Ross Perot and Jerry Lewis et al, but the version the pigeons did of Fiddler on the Roof, and the takeoff on Cleopatra (with the guy doing the voiceover of Antony in perfect Richard Burton accent) are highpoints of animation creation. And I even liked Slappy Squirell.