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Mr. Longoria Goes to Texas

Movie by Frank Capra — story by Damon Runyon — music by Max Steiner.

If Frank Capra were alive today, even he wouldn’t make a movie about the 2011 Tampa Bay Rays. No one would believe it. Too hokey. Too unlikely. Especially the manic final week and the enchanted final game Wednesday which saw the Rays come back from 7-0 in the eighth to beat the New York Yankees 8-7 in twelve, thereby making it to the playoffs as the American League wild card team.

A no-name hitter for the under-dog team going yard with two outs and two strikes on him in the bottom of the ninth to tie the critical game makes part of the denouement of some deservedly forgettable baseball movies. But this happened in real time Wednesday night at the Trop, and few Rays fans will ever forget it.

For seven innings the Rays were as flat as Calista Flockhart. Only three hits in seven innings, a couple of the scratch variety. The Yankees, baseball’s overdogs, were having their way with the Rays 7-0, chasing one of their stud pitchers, David Price, after just four shell-shocked innings and 97 mostly ineffective pitches, two of which Mark Teixeira converted into souvenirs. Then things turned on a rosin bag.

With a couple of manufactured runs followed by a three-run pop by Evan Longoria in the eighth, the Rays were back in it 7-6, and the people who had left early and had the game on their car radios were starting to drive into Tampa Bay as a procession of Rays crossed the plate. Then came the most unlikely cut of all.

With two outs and no one on in the bottom of the ninth, Rays manager Joe Maddon sent Dan Johnson to pinch hit. Johnson is a slugger who had spent most of the season at AAA Durham. For his Major League time this year Johnson not only had not hit his weight, he had not hit Mary Lou Retton’s Olympic weight. Under his name on the scoreboard flashed an embarrassing .108.

The early departures, now arriving home, were beginning to feel better about their decision. Then with the count at 2-2, Yankee pitcher Corey Wade got one too close to Johnson’s wheel-house, and Dan hit a laser barely fair and barely into the right field seats for the tie. Wide-spread psychotic breaks among the faithful still at the Trop. They absolutely levitated three innings later when another laser, this time off the bat of Longoria, made in barely fair and barely into the left field seats for the winner.

Longoria’s winner came just minutes after the news had flashed in the Trop that the Red Sox had lost to the Orioles, the second shoe that had to drop for the Rays to be in the playoffs. The usually lights-out, uber-closer Jonathon Papelbon, in to protect a 3-2 Sawks lead in the ninth, had blown the save, the game, the night, and by this declension the season, for the snake-bit Sawks.

The unconfined joy at the Trop was only matched by a gloom solidifying across New England as the region’s favorites had just put paid to the biggest infarct in Sawks history. A team with a history of late season el foldos had gone 7-20 in September. Suddenly it was 1978 again (without the leisure suits, thank God). Bucky #$%^&#! Dent, call your office.

From south of Providence to north of Caribou, it’s going to be a l-o-n-g off-season. (And beyond — Red Sox Nation is real enough. I’m convinced that if the Sawks played an exhibition game on Mars, little green guys with three legs and four eyes would come to the park and yell, “Yook!”)

The Rays trailed by 9½ games in the wild car race on September 2. No team in MLB history had come from this far behind in September to make the postseason. All the more remarkable as the small-market Rays player payroll, one of the lowest in the bigs, puts them on poverty row compared to the Sawks, whose payroll exceeds the value of all the property east of the Mississippi. It takes a Cray super-computer to even estimate the Yankees’ payroll. The Rays entire payroll is a Yankees rounding error. If there were stats for results per payroll dollar expended, the Rays would lap both leagues. When the Rays won the 2008 American League Pennant they had the lowest payroll in the AL. 

This one is not just a victory for the Rays and a buzz for Bay Area sport fans. It’s a victory for baseball. You can’t write scripts like this. This is a man bites dog story, and one of the things that makes late season baseball so magical.

Before the season started the Sawks were supposed to take it all. They surely had the horses to do it with. The Rays, on the other hand, had lost their entire bullpen, a dependable starter, and three of their key position players because of what Rays’ owners said was a required salary dump. But the Rays’ minor league system keeps producing outstanding young talent for a team that can’t afford pricey free agents. The young bloods and the remaining Rays veterans put together a team strong in pitching and defense, and with just enough hitting to remain in the hunt after 162.

We’ll have to see what the post-season brings. The Rays strap on the Texas Rangers Friday, hardly a bunch of cream-puffs. So it doesn’t get any easier. But the Rays will enter the playoffs this year with momentum. Last year they stumbled in, only to be eliminated by the Rangers 3-2 in the first round. But Rays fans are optimistic, and have hopes that some of the players they’ve come to know will shine on the national stage.

Another of baseball’s charms is that post-season ball has produced so many unlikely stars. Guys, many of whom had short major league careers before turning to used car sales or bartending, but whom baseball aficionados fondly remember. Mention names like Al Weiss, Sandy Amoros, Ron Swoboda, Gene Tenace, or Mickey Hatcher in a sports bar, and the conversation will flow along with the suds. Perhaps guys like Elliot Johnson, Sam Fuld, or Sean Rodriguez can break into this fraternity.

The playoffs start Friday. I’ll be manning my couch, and won’t be taking calls after first pitch.

About the Author

Larry Thornberry is a writer in Tampa.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (20) |

2Anglico| 9.30.11 @ 9:39AM

That's why they play the game. Flat as Calista Flockhart, now that's a good one!

Seek| 9.30.11 @ 11:22AM

I think Harrison Ford might have something to say about that one.

Occam's Tool| 9.30.11 @ 1:44PM

He may like riding surfboards. Why do you think Ford moved to Hollywood from Park Ridge, Illinois, where he attended Maine Twp. H.S. East, also the alma mater of a devastatingly witty and savagely Conservative commenter on the TAS website, eh?

Steve A| 9.30.11 @ 9:47AM

Nicely done Larry. Enjoyed your article. If Moore wins tonight please follow up with a piece on his story. It has already been quite a turn of events for Moore coming from A ball last year.

squalis| 9.30.11 @ 9:50AM

I still think Sam Fuld was the early spark that got this team on track, though I do miss Garza.

POST American| 9.30.11 @ 10:15AM

---AS the country is going down in this
FINAL leg of the Globalst RED China
TREASON OP, and as fallout from
the greatest world nuclear disaster
in history --FUKISHIMA-- rains down
across the northern hemisphere,
could we PLEASE have a moratorium
on 'sports culture' columns ---at least
in our political journals?

-----------------------THANKS---------------------------

PaulyD| 9.30.11 @ 3:06PM

The SNEER has fled from Casey's lip, the teeth are clenched in HATE;
He pounds with CRUEL violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher HOLDS the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is SHATTERED by the force of Casey's blow.

Oh, somewhere in this FAVORED land the sun is shining BRIGHT,
The BAND is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are LAUGHING, and little children SHOUT;
But there is no joy in Mudville — mighty Casey has STRUCK OUT.

Steve A| 9.30.11 @ 11:44AM

Dear POST Intelligence, I am going to go ahead & boldly suggest that I speak for MANY of those who read here & suggest a moratorium on your idiotic ramblings. Second this motion??

Dave Williams| 9.30.11 @ 1:22PM

Hell, YEAH!!!! This drooling idiot never contributes a SMIDGEN of substance to the discussion, and needs to GO AWAY and STAY AWAY!

Occam's Tool| 9.30.11 @ 1:46PM

On PA---He's much better than Clint and Cheesehead Jack, guys. We can at least be blinded by the shining light of the Sun reflecting off the tinfoil that PA wears. The other two are just wasters of CHON (Carbon, etc.).

Clint| 10.2.11 @ 11:44AM

The Screwball Israel Firster Fanatic Tool Job Is All PMS'y & Zany Crazed Because Many Of Us Tea Party Patriots & Our Tea Party Senator Dr.Rand Paul & Our Tea Party Co-Favorite Presidential Candidate Dr.Ron Paul Don't Asskiss His Israel Firster Agenda.

The Topic Was Baseball, Asshole.

Rod Brooker| 9.30.11 @ 2:18PM

A great read! I loved the salary paragraph: the Rays' payroll is a rounding error for the Yankees! The Rays are not just underdogs, but the Little Dog, too. But as the old saying goes, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." Rangers beware . . .

Realdealtpa1a| 9.30.11 @ 5:46PM

Thank You Mr. Thornberry for your article about our beloved Rays. I like to think of it as getting three more bonus games, and take it from there. Yes sir it was all the above plus it's also historical ( Longo's bat went to the hall of fame).

POST American| 9.30.11 @ 6:45PM

------For the rectum worshippers of
'sports culture' here and everywhere:

Yesterday Bloomberg News admitted
FUKISHIMA, going into its 7th month
of Globalist media blackout ---is, by far,
the greatest world nuclear disaster
MAN-kind has ever seen.

---------------ENJOY YOUR RECTUM----------------

Dan Mathewson| 10.1.11 @ 12:50PM

If you want people to take you seriously you have to ease back on your intensity. And develop a sense of the absurd.

POST American| 10.2.11 @ 10:09PM

---'Develop a sense of the absurd'?

-----------ARE YOU NUTS?------------

Getting them to 'entertain' themselves, to 'play'
---is the prime instrument of the TREASON OP.

Take heed, absurdism ---and its most extreme
form 'camp' humor, was brought in in the '60's.

Virtually unknown before that.

'Camp' to bring in sexual deviancy and degradation. 'Camp' is the absurdism of
the hopeless, the incarcerated, of the prison 'CAMP' --if you will.

Remember, the 'Big Boys' love putting it right
in your face.

-----In fact nothing makes them giggle more.

squalis| 11.24.11 @ 10:55AM

A fab post-season. Thought the Rays might go deep after game 1 against Texas, but alas, not to be.

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