Washington Post
Columnist Dana Milbank taps out his syndicated column to the
ignoramuses and all are happy to have Ronald Reagan back—talk
about speaking ill of the dead:
After he switched to the Republican Party in 1962, Ronald Reagan
famously quipped: “I didn’t leave the Democratic Party. The party
left me.”
Now, the Republican Party is doing the same thing to him—and
Democrats are happy to take Reagan back.
At Tuesday morning’s meeting of the House Democrats, caucus
chairman John Larson rallied his colleagues for the day’s
debt-limit debate by playing an audio recording of the 40th
president.
“Congress consistently brings the government to the edge of
default before facing its responsibility,” Reagan says in the
clip.
(July 20, 2011)
New York Times
Devotional readings from the Sunday New York Times’s
long-awaited Sunday Review:
I have wonderful friends. In this last year, one took me to
Istanbul. One gave me a box of hand-crafted chocolates. Fifteen of
them held two rousing, pre-posthumous wakes for me. Several wrote
large checks. Two sent me a boxed set of the Bach sacred cantatas.
And one, from Texas, put a hand on my thinning shoulder, and
appeared to study the ground where we were standing. He had flown
in to see me.
“We need to buy you a pistol, don’t we?” he asked quietly. He
meant to shoot myself with.
“Yes, Sweet Thing,” I said, with a smile. “We do.”
(July 10, 2011)
Wall Street Journal
As White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel said back in 2008,
“You never want a serious crisis to go to waste”:
The unemployment rate increased in 28 states in June, reflecting
the rise in the national rate to 9.2% from 9.1% over the month, the
Labor Department said Friday.
While 14 states saw their unemployment rate hold steady, eight
logged decreases.
(July 23-24, 2011)
Chicago Sun-Times
Writing in the mordant voice for which she is justly celebrated,
hometown columnist Stella Foster reports on the gruesome ways Mayor
Rahm Emanuel now spends his days:
I love that Mayor Emanuel really cares and is compassionate
about all Chicagoans and has been very visible by attending diverse
events all over this great city, not just in the downtown area. In
fact, besides eating at soul food restaurants on the South Side,
the mayor was also seen enjoying gospel great Richard Smallwood’s
performance at the Trinity United Church of Christ 50th anniversary
celebration Tuesday evening. He also dined on roasted chicken at
Kiki’s Bistro on Monday and stopped by Mario’s Lemonade for Italian
ice. The mayor is the “energizer bunny” for this city…he just keeps
going, and going and going.
(July 21, 2011)
Santa Rosa Press Democrat
Cindy in progressive Petaluma, her brown shirt all neatly folded
and her hobnailed boots spit and shined in her bedroom, gently
coaxes her Führer, on the correspondence page of her local
newspaper, to get off the golf course and take action:
EDITOR: Lately, among my circle of friends, someone whispers
that they are disappointed in President Barack Obama and a quiet
conversation starts. Some want to stay devout and defend Obama, but
many of us are admitting that we are not as hopeful as we once
were. He promised change, and we are still waiting.
Saying you are disappointed in someone you voted for can feel
like admitting you were wrong, but what you are really admitting is
that you are not inspired. The majority of us went to the polls
pumped up and hoping for change. We did not expect a perfect
America, but we did expect a leader who would inspire us again and
again.
Most of us are waiting for instructions, Mr. Obama. Ask us to
sacrifice, and we will. Ask something of us, and we will understand
who we are and what we are capable of. Give us something to work
together on — not a war or a disaster but something that can be
brought into each and every home. You inspired us before and can do
it again. We’re just waiting for instructions.
CINDY LOHRENTZ
Petaluma
(June 12, 2011)
The Nation
On the occasion of the Hon. Anthony Weiner’s quiet withdrawal
from public life, the inimitable JoAnn Wypijewski reveals the
findings of her long, personal, and at times highly perilous
canvassing of our nation’s men’s restrooms:
Of all the restrooms in all the schools and bars and gas
stations across this great land, rare is the stall inside of which
someone has not paused to draw a penis. Erect, with tight scrotum
on one end and a cartoon squirt at the other, it is characterized
by a vigorous arcing line and a paucity of detail; no hairs or
veins or rippled skin, no great variation in size or proportion, a
Unipenis, really, the signal hieroglyph of our age. When we have
blown or glutted or pummeled ourselves into extinction, alien
archaeologists will find this symbol on crumbling viaducts and
leeching scrap heaps, in the ruins of our cities and the overgrown
remnants of our public libraries, and they will conclude, “Here was
their god.”
(July 4/11, 2011)
Alexandria Times
Columnist Isabel Alvarez shares with us a pensive moment, a
transformative moment, just before becoming an apostate from French
cuisine with the help of her dog, Titan, apparently a
Chihuahua:
I recently upgraded my dog’s canned food to a holistic, organic
brand. My finicky Titan and I were impressed when simply opening
the can made us both salivate. The chunks of meat, recognizable
vegetables, hearty sauce and yummy scent made me want to toss it in
some pasta and go to town. I was really tempted to try it. I had to
remind myself that it was dog food.
While Titan indulged, I stood at my kitchen counter, reluctantly
spooning non-fat Greek yogurt into my mouth and wondering why my
dog’s dinner was more flavorful and nutritious than my own.
(July 7, 2011)
Presidential Communication
In a personal letter to one of his biggest supporters our
president attempts to escape the blame:
Dear R. Emmett Tyrrell,
Each night, I get the chance to read about 10 letters from
people across the country. Some are inspiring. Some are
heartbreaking. But each one compels me to keep moving forward on
this journey we started together.
And as I read the stories, hopes, and fears of people
nationwide, I’m also reminded of what I told you and the American
people when I was sent to the White House. I cannot do this
alone.
(July 2011)
From the Archives
Timeless Tosh from Current Wisdoms Past
(September 1991)
Los Angeles Times
A New Age super-patriot sounds off on the op-ed page of the
Golden State’s Times:
At a recent fifth-grade promotion ceremony, I felt compelled to
go through the motions of flag pledging, to go so far as to say the
words, because I thought the joy of the day was more important than
my feelings about the flag. So I stood, crossed my heart and said
the pledge, mentally editing as I went along.
“I acknowledge the flag of the United Racist States of America
and to the repression for which it stands, two or three bifurcated
nations, two economies, two health-care systems, two nations under
God, divisible by color, class, gender and access, with liberty for
some and justice for fewer.”…
In the fifth grade I pledged the flag. By the ninth grade, I
wanted to burn it.
(June 25, 1991)
