The American Spectator

The Nation

On the occasion of the Hon. Anthony Weiner’s quiet withdrawal from public life, the inimitable JoAnn Wypijewski reveals the findings of her long, personal, and at times highly perilous canvassing of our nation’s men’s restrooms:

Of all the restrooms in all the schools and bars and gas stations across this great land, rare is the stall inside of which someone has not paused to draw a penis. Erect, with tight scrotum on one end and a cartoon squirt at the other, it is characterized by a vigorous arcing line and a paucity of detail; no hairs or veins or rippled skin, no great variation in size or proportion, a Unipenis, really, the signal hieroglyph of our age. When we have blown or glutted or pummeled ourselves into extinction, alien archaeologists will find this symbol on crumbling viaducts and leeching scrap heaps, in the ruins of our cities and the overgrown remnants of our public libraries, and they will conclude, “Here was their god.”

(July 4/11, 2011)

Alexandria Times

Columnist Isabel Alvarez shares with us a pensive moment, a transformative moment, just before becoming an apostate from French cuisine with the help of her dog, Titan, apparently a Chihuahua:

I recently upgraded my dog’s canned food to a holistic, organic brand. My finicky Titan and I were impressed when simply opening the can made us both salivate. The chunks of meat, recognizable vegetables, hearty sauce and yummy scent made me want to toss it in some pasta and go to town. I was really tempted to try it. I had to remind myself that it was dog food.

While Titan indulged, I stood at my kitchen counter, reluctantly spooning non-fat Greek yogurt into my mouth and wondering why my dog’s dinner was more flavorful and nutritious than my own.

(July 7, 2011)

Presidential Communication

In a personal letter to one of his biggest supporters our president attempts to escape the blame:

Dear R. Emmett Tyrrell,

Each night, I get the chance to read about 10 letters from people across the country. Some are inspiring. Some are heartbreaking. But each one compels me to keep moving forward on this journey we started together.

And as I read the stories, hopes, and fears of people nationwide, I’m also reminded of what I told you and the American people when I was sent to the White House. I cannot do this alone.

(July 2011)