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The Great American Saloon Series
A Guy’s Place
And the search for the perfect hangout.
(Page 2 of 2)
• It sells tobacco and cigarettes, aspirins and stamps, and lets you use the phone.
• There is “a snack counter where you can get liver-sausage sandwiches, mussels (a specialty of the house), cheese, pickles and … large biscuits with caraway seeds.…”
• “[A] creamy sort of [draught] stout … and it goes better in a pewter pot.”
• “You go through a narrow passage leading out of the saloon, and find yourself in a fairly large garden.…”
For the most part, George and I see eye to eye. Except on the problem of music. Rock and roll was an essential element of Guy’s bar, and the music was always excellent, at moderate volume, and selected by Matt the bartender, whose tastes were eerily similar to mine.
Furnishing-wise, Guy’s bar was unremarkable. Graffiti chic, you might say. A dusty pinball machine, a neglected shuffleboard game and a beat up dartboard occupied the back room. My wife got a kick out of the ladies room with its two commodes facing each other, a low table between them. I suppose so you could play a hand of gin rummy while doing your business.
I had always supposed Guy was well into his seventies; in fact he was only 53 when he died. Most of those years were spent sitting stoically on the front patio, enjoying the scene, the talk, a Pall Mall and a Stag. A few nights before the end, Guy treated the wife and me to a round of Schlitz beers as we sat out front people-watching. It was a fine summer night. I wish now we would have stayed and chatted longer.
Some malcontents are forever seeking out new experiences and adventures, constantly on the prowl for something better. I am not averse to trying new things, but so often I find them wanting. My lifelong search for the perfect hangout stopped when I found Guy’s place.
Spoiler alert: at the end of Orwell’s essay we learn that there is in fact no pub called The Moon Under Water. But Guy’s bar does exist, though its future is currently in the hands of a probate judge. I hope to God the bar remains open. I am far too old to go in search of another.
About the Author
Christopher Orlet writes from St. Louis.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (35) | Leave a comment
More Articles by Christopher Orlet
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Moe Blotz| 8.19.11 @ 9:20AM
Your description of Guy's reads like that of many taverns throughout the country serving the neighborhoods where the manual laborers resided. Reading,PA had either a bar or sandwich shop on almost every street corner when I was a stoont at Albright College circa 1967. The most desirable place to park my arse for a pint and conversation now is a brew pub up the Delaware River a few kliks where they have no television or piped in music. Good beer,good pub food,and good conversation,hard to find in the 21st century.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 9:56AM
CBGB was a "refuge for former farm town freaks, artists, gays..."
I'll be damned if I'd sit in a bar with a bunch of fags. My favorite hangout was a sports bar in Milwaukee called Wits End, and it had a No Fags Allowed sign taped to the mirror.
massmile | 8.19.11 @ 1:05PM
In PA the Casino Industry has ruined all neighborhood bars. It has paid off the Liquor Control Board. You can't even run a $10.00 weekend football pool without fear of getting raided.
I am a 26 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am seeking an older gentle man who can give me real love , so i got a username Annababe2011 on---a'ge'l'es's'da'te. C óM---it is the first and best club for y'ounger women and older men, or older women and younger men,to int'eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch'eck it out or tell your friends.
Occam's Tool| 8.19.11 @ 1:10PM
Don't forget the need for an absence of sandmonkeys, Catamite! I can understand "no fags" for you, though---why rehash your day job in your pub?
Occam's Tool| 8.19.11 @ 1:14PM
Homosexual content of bar, including Clint, 90% plus.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 1:47PM
You mess with me fag and I'll slit your goddamn throat.
opedpiece| 8.19.11 @ 1:54PM
Wow! Such an intelligent poster. Keep the remarks coming, Clint. You're the type of man's man we want here on A S. I can dig you.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 2:33PM
That's Allen Brooks Poseur Posting,Under My Name, opedpiece.
ObamaBoy Brooks Is Desperately Zany Crazed Unhinged,Now.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 2:30PM
That's Eleven ObamaBoy,Israel Firster Allen Brooks Poseur Posts Today.
You're A Desperate Little ObamaBoy Bastard,Brooks.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 2:38PM
Uh Oh !
Now. Screwball Israel Firster Fanatic Tool Job Is Fightin' With ObamaBoy Screwball Israel Firster Fanatic Allen Brooks.
You've Been Punked By Allen Brookss, Tool Job.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 2:23PM
Uh Oh !
Another Allen Beooks Poseur Post.
That's About Eight Of Your Poseur Posts, Today, ObamaBoy Israel Firster, Negative Attention Craving Asshole, Brooks.
Bob K.| 8.19.11 @ 11:13AM
Hey Moe,
Did you ever go up the road a piece to Tamaqua and visit "Took One's" aka Andrukaitis's?
Menu: "Two lousy eggs for one lousy dime. Any style." "Hot Roast Beef sandwiches with gravy. 50 cents."
Harvey Wallbangers for 50 cents.
Juke box cost a nickle and so did the pool table.
Guinness and Bass on tap. 1/2 and 1/2 was 1/2 a buck.
Only open Thurs evening through Saturday and they got a hell of a weekend trade! Owner took over business when his father died and could only work weekends away from his Law practice.
Occam's Tool| 8.19.11 @ 1:12PM
Minnesota has a lot of great pubs. I have no financial interest in what I am about to say. The best pub that I have run into for conversation and pub food is Caspar and Runyon's in St Paul. THE best hamburgers ANYWHERE! One night a week is family night where single moms and dads go to mingle.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 1:48PM
And the night you go Occam is "Faggot Night."
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 2:25PM
That's Nine Poseur Poats Today, Negative Attention Craving ObamaBoy Israel Firster Asshole, Brooks.
Wordmonger| 8.19.11 @ 9:24AM
With the Froggy origin of his name,did Guy pronounce his name to rhyme with free or did he go with the Yank version rhyming with high?
PJ| 8.19.11 @ 9:36AM
Your're kidding, right? What true American-loving person would "francophile" the sound of their French spelling name? I love the French, my 1st name is a common French name, but I'll damn you to hell if you, an American, continue to pronounce it like a Frenchman, after I corrected you!
albert constantine jr.| 8.19.11 @ 9:52AM
In an ideal hangout, you can go by yourself but be welcomed when you arrive. If you sit at the bar, those customers without a perch don't try to elbow past you to get their drinks. The bartenders don't ask your name or need a credit card to open a tab, and don't need to ask you if you want a refill, they bring them when you're nearing completion until you tell them to stop. In addition, should you choose to buy someone else a drink, they understand the subtle gestures with the perceptiveness of a blackjack dealer or professional auctioneer, and get it right each time.
Petronius| 8.19.11 @ 10:02AM
Chris
You didn't mention the ultimate convenience for regulars. Did he cash personal checks? I'll have to find this place since there are no dives left on Southtown Kingshighway. If the pin is vintage Gottlieb, I might make an offer.
Cheers
Seapuss| 8.19.11 @ 10:28AM
All of my "perfect hangouts" have been ruined by smoking bans. A bar is a place where one is free to do any adult activity that is legal outside but normally frowned upon in polite society, such as swearing, telling dirty jokes, playing pool, playing loud music, dirty dancing, drinking heavily, and (yes) smoking. It's a place you love to go to, but would be ashamed to take your mother--a haven. But if you let the government redefine what's allowed inside a bar, it ceases to be one.
C Smith| 8.19.11 @ 11:15AM
Pro 23:29 Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes?
Pro 23:30 They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wind.
Pro 23:31 Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright.
Pro 23:32 At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder.
Pro 23:33 Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things.
Pro 23:34 Yea, thou shalt be as he that lieth down in the midst of the sea, or as he that lieth upon the top of a mast.
Pro 23:35 They have stricken me, shalt thou say, and I was not sick; they have beaten me, and I felt it not: when shall I awake? I will seek it yet again.
Bob K.| 8.19.11 @ 11:20AM
Go take a little wine for your stomach. It will help your dyspeptic personality.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 1:51PM
Only faggots like yourself drink wine Mr. Cocksucker.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 2:27PM
That's Ten Poseur Posts By American Spectator's Resident ObamaBoy,Israel Firster Negative Attention Craving Troll, Allen Brooks.
Bob K.| 8.19.11 @ 2:43PM
Clint,
You poor sad sack! Your brain is so addled you can't even read and interpret the responses to posts anymore.
Go take a nap.
Clint| 8.19.11 @ 2:53PM
Hey Bob,
That was Allen Brooks, American Spectator's Resident Obama Troll.
I Don't Think American Spectator Can Stop Him From Poseur Posting Using My Name.
Bob K.| 8.19.11 @ 6:41PM
Sorry Clint,
Glad you cleared that up!
Butch | 8.19.11 @ 3:55PM
I'll drink to that.
Bob K.| 8.19.11 @ 11:18AM
In PA the Casino Industry has ruined all neighborhood bars. It has paid off the Liquor Control Board. You can't even run a $10.00 weekend football pool without fear of getting raided.
Tex Expatriate| 8.19.11 @ 5:37PM
Next time you visit Paris, Texas check out Dillon's at the Holiday Inn on the Loop. Quiet crowd, home town folks. Another good one is Pat's Tavern in Mooresville, Indiana. If you're homosexual, don't advertise it.
Robert| 8.20.11 @ 11:16AM
In PA the Casino Industry has ruined all neighborhood bars. It has paid off the Liquor Control Board.
http://www.summer-products.com
http://www.ainibag.com
casino| 8.20.11 @ 11:18AM
Good beer,good pub food,and good conversation,hard to find in the 21st century.
http://www.jerseys-hats-store.com
http://www.honey-gifts.com
POST American| 8.21.11 @ 1:02AM
-----------------BOTTOMLESS LINE-------------------
Interesting to learn that the boys, enjoying their
cans of beer are, IN FACT,now imbibing planted
estrogens and bisphenol A.
Who's betting that by 2015 we'll have awakened
to the headline that ----OOOOOPS! ---EVERYONE"S STERILE.
----------------WE"RE NOT JOKING------------------
----------------------and neither are they.
SO--------------------ENJOY them thar' playoffs!
USA Team | 8.22.11 @ 12:02AM
very nice
Triana | 8.22.11 @ 4:37AM
Next time you visit Paris, Texas check out Dillon's at the Holiday Inn on the Loop. Quiet crowd, home town folks. Another good one is Pat's Tavern in Mooresville, Indiana. If you're homosexual, don't advertise it.
http://healthoutside.blogspot.com