“The check is in the mail” isn’t what it used to be.
I don’t want to sound like Lansberry, the legendary Pittsburgher who walked around town for decades with a protest sign saying that the government was withholding his mail, but I’m missing about 300 pieces of mail.
My problem started in June when I went to my local post office and filled out a mail forwarding card, as I do every year in June, stating that our mail should be re-routed temporarily to our house in Sea Isle, New Jersey, for five weeks.
We probably get an average of 10 pieces of mail a day, not counting the junk mail, so in five weeks that’s about 300 pieces of mail.
It worked every year, except this year. Each week, we’d get no mail for four or five days and then one piece would arrive.
I checked Sea Isle’s post office and they had no idea of why so little mail was arriving.
I figured maybe our mail was wrongly being held in Pittsburgh and we’d get a nice big pile of mail on the porch after we got home.
Instead, there was nothing in Pittsburgh.
So what’d they do with our mail? Steal it? Burn it? Forward it to the FBI? Or was it sitting in a box somewhere in the back of the post office, waiting to be discovered some day like that love letter that was delivered in July this year after being lost in the Pittsburgh mail system for 53 years?
“WHY CAN’T LANSBERRY GET MAIL?” said Bob Lansberry’s protest sign. I said the same thing, except inserting my own name, to the friendly clerk working behind the counter at my local post office.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Did you have another forwarding card in the system in the past 18 months?”
“Yes, every year at the beginning of June,” I replied. “I fill out the card here.”
“That’s probably it,” she said. “The system hasn’t been working well if you had another forwarding request in the system in the past 18 months.”
The system hasn’t been working? And no one fixes it? And no one told us?
“So where’s our mail now?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said.