On the eve of the 1980 presidential election, a rare double
rainbow decorated the skies above Tampico, Illinois. The image was
captured by grain elevator operator Lloyd McElhiney’s Kodak
Instamatic. Those who witnessed the event swear the primary
rainbow came to rest on the roof of Ronald Reagan’s birthplace.
The locals, recalling Yahweh’s post-flood covenant with Noah,
took this for a good sign. Perhaps the long deluge of incompetence
that had been the Johnson, Nixon, Ford, and Carter administrations
was receding at last. The next day Mr. Reagan was elected president
in a landslide. The heavens were pleased.
It sounds like the stuff of legend, but there is photographic
evidence. The president himself reportedly kept a framed print of
Mr. McElhiney’s artistry on his Oval Office desk.
On the spring day we visited Tampico (accent on the “Tamp”) in
this, the centennial year of President Reagan’s birth, there were
no symbolic meteorological phenomena looming overhead; not unless
the overcast skies were a reflection of the hard times Tampico has
seen since they tore up the rails of the Hooppole, Yorktown,
and Tampico Railroad in 1954.
The observant visitor will detect a note of wistfulness in the
voice of Joan Johnson, docent at the Ronald Reagan Birthplace and
Museum, as she gazes forlornly across Main Street at the derelict
H. C. Pitney Variety Store. It was here that Jack Reagan (Ronald’s
father) sold shoes for a dollar a day, and where the Reagans lived
briefly, again in an upstairs flat. The prim Ms. Johnson, who
clearly carries a torch for our 40th president, strikes the guest
as being a bit of a teetotaler. “We don’t talk about that,” she
says dismissively, when queried about the legend of Jack’s fondness
for the bottle. The town’s dueling drinking establishments—the Good
Times Tap, which, like Tampico, has seen better days, and the
classier Kickback Saloon—also come in for a dose of Ms. Johnson’s
scorn for the understandable reason that, besides the local diner
and one generic convenience store, they are the town’s only going
concerns.
As the lone visitors that day (Tampico, located in rural
Whiteside County, is, to put it mildly, off the beaten track), we
had the run of the Reagan birthplace, a roomy six-room flat,
complete with a sleeping porch, above what was once a saloon, then
a bakery, and later a bank.
The Great Communicator himself revisited Tampico on several
occasions, the last in May 1992. Looking round the old homestead,
he allegedly remarked: “I don’t know why my folks moved. It looks
like a nice apartment.” After church services, Ron and Nancy
brunched at the Dutch Diner (named not after “Dutch” Reagan but the
original Amish proprietors). It was reported that Mr. Reagan
enjoyed the double-crusted raisin pie and the special of
turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy. On our visit we could not
resist the local specialty, the Tornado, known elsewhere in
central Illinois as the Horseshoe, an open-faced sandwich
consisting of deep-fried pork tenderloin on toast, topped with
French fries and smothered in a secret white cheese sauce. The
Tornado alone was worth the five-hour drive.
After a thick slice of pumpkin pie (“They have the best pie in
the Sauk Valley,” Joan Johnson proudly avers), we stimulated our
overly taxed digestive systems with a stroll through Tampico’s
quiet residential streets. We strode past St. Mary’s Catholic
Church, where Jack and elder son Neil attended Mass (so stunningly
ornate is St. Mary’s sanctuary that couples come from three
counties to marry here), then on to the Church of Christ, where
Mrs. Reagan and Ronald worshiped (Nelle was so devout many in the
congregation believed she had the gift to heal). The peal of
long-distance thunder signaled it was time to go indoors, thus we
made a beeline for the Good Times Tap.
The Tap, a charming ramshackle affair with a low cinder-block
addition, is justly famous for its two-dollar cans of Old
Milwaukee, its “Polack 15” (a Seven & Seven), its poker
machines (a few that even work), and its take-out tacos deep-fried
in “new grease.” The Tap is also for sale—permanently, it seems—for
those with an enterprising spirit and a longing for a crime-free
environment. During our visit, we heard one regular quip: “I’d buy
this dump if it didn’t need so much work.” To which Mark, the
lethargic, heavyset proprietor, responded with due umbrage: “Why it
don’t need much work. Got the best foundation of any building in
town!”
IN ITS SALAD DAYS, Tampico bustled with a stockyard, a
grocery, a creamery, a blacksmith shop, a
newspaper, two hardware stores, and plenty of work digging
the nearby Hennepin Canal feeder, where young Ron learned to swim.
Today, Main Street is desolate save at lunchtime at the diner and
again at happy hour, when Silverados and F-150s begin pulling up in
front of the Kickback for the nightly contest of Texas Hold
’em.
Until five years ago, the Kickback operated as the village
grocery store. But not even little Tampico has been spared the
Walmartization of America, and villagers now drive to one of the
many nearby retail giants for their supplies. So it shouldn’t be a
total loss, Bonnie Anderson purchased the vacant building and
opened the town’s second tavern. Business has been so brisk that
she talks of turning the former stockroom into a banquet
center.
Most evenings the Kickback harbors a good-natured clientele of
boisterous farmhands and wisecracking carpenters. The ladies are
mostly of the tattooed variety, hardworking and hard-drinking Irish
girls, and included Meg, our capable waitress from the Dutch Diner,
who appeared sociable as ever, even while flipping off our drinking
companions through the window during one of her many smoke
breaks.
On this particular night, the locals were trying out a new
drink called the Bin Laden. “Two shots and a splash of water,”
explained Missy the barmaid. Our host for the evening was a
young farmhand who went by the unironic appellation of Skinny.
Skinny introduced us to the local libations, which turned out to be
the standard Anheuser-Busch and Miller fare. We settled on a round
of Bud Light Golden Wheats, an unfiltered wheat beer with a hint of
coriander and citrus, which Missy expertly rolled on the bar to
loosen the settled yeast.
As with most small-town bars, strangers are an overwhelming
curiosity, though the denizens of Tampico are too well mannered to
pry. All except Skinny, who had no qualms about cornering us by the
jukebox and demanding to know why the hell anyone would come to a
“hole in the wall” like Tampico. Told we were on a tour of the
Reagan sites, Skinny could only shake his head in wonder. In this
way, he is reminiscent of those New Yorkers who have never been to
the Statue of Liberty. “Lived here all my life and never once set
foot in the Reagan home,” he allows, before ordering another round
of Bin Ladens.
One hundred years after the birth of its favorite son, the
residents of Tampico are waiting for another sign. One that reads
open for business, perhaps, or, failing that, half off on all
drinks, 4 to 7 p.m.
Either one would be entirely welcomed.
Wordmonger| 8.17.11 @ 8:22AM
Accent should be on "Tam",the pico comes afterward. Please tell me how to pronounce McElhiney and Yahweh. Also,bananas peel while thunder and bells peal.
Bob K.| 8.17.11 @ 10:47AM
How do you pronounce "pedantic?"
Mya Nutiae| 8.17.11 @ 11:34AM
Why not ask Mr.Orlet?
Alan Brooks| 8.17.11 @ 3:41PM
Christopher Orlet has a practically a homo-erotic obsession with Reagan.
Conserdude| 8.17.11 @ 10:18AM
I visited Reagan's birthplace several years ago, and noticed hanging on the wall was an 8x10 black and white photo of Jane Wyman in her heyday as an actress. Not sure why it was there, but thought it funny.
PaulyD| 8.17.11 @ 12:50PM
What kind of shots? I would assume some type of Kentucky Bourbon, as it is the all-American liquor. Please enlighten, so I can buy a couple of rounds for some for my veteran brethren.
PaulyD| 8.17.11 @ 12:53PM
My comment was meant for Chris Orlet.
Cheers, Paul
WayneFarmer| 8.17.11 @ 7:32PM
Hope you went to Dixon, and to Eureka College. Inspiring history.
POST American| 8.18.11 @ 12:53AM
--------------------BOTTOM LINE----------------------
"Americans better wake up or in
a couple of decades they're going
to be little more than a minstrel show
for RED China."
-GORE VIDAL
1985
--YET MORE '80's Show' necromancy and
Tavistock SAP OP --ALERT!--
Nice piece that couldn't matter less as
the Globalist-RED China sellout and TREASON
OP --much of which got underway under
Reagan/Bush--- is finishing us off.
--------------HUAC/NUREMBERG 2012------------
Dacron Mather| 8.19.11 @ 3:04AM
The chloroform boilermaker administered to the writer seems to have taken effect.
Dan Mathewson| 8.28.11 @ 7:12PM
I want to try a bin Laden.