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Ben Stein's Diary
I Don’t Like It
Reflections on losing money and going broke — and bringing home the bacon.
Wednesday
Another day,
another crash. I don’t like it, as Mister Horse used to say on “Ren
and Stimpy.” No, sir, I just don’t like it.
It’s started to affect my enjoyment of my home here in Idaho and that is bad. Lake Pendoreille is still magnificent. The sky is blue with fleecy clouds. The people are friendly. But I am losing money and I do not want to be broke.
May I share with you a few thoughts I run through my head in an effort to keep me sane?
1. I am powerless over the stock market and if I let the stock market be my Higher Power, I will lose my mind. It is bad enough that the speculators can take my money. I will not let them take my soul.
2. I am not the stock market. It is down, but I have my perfect wifey, my son and daughter-in-law and granddaughter, Cora and my friends, Phil and Russ and Barron and Wlady and Chinich and Al and Sally and Tim and Penny and many more. I have my boats. I have freedom. I have more than enough to eat. I am doing fine.
3. I am 66 years old. I have seen a lot of stock market corrections and crashes. I lived through all of them. I will live through this one, too. I will be poorer than I was, but I will get through. If I die any time soon, my family will be well provided for and I will not have to think about the stock market any longer (I hope).
4. I have done the best I can, with the help of some true geniuses of finance like Phil DeMuth, Chris DeMuth, Ray Lucia, Anil Vazirani, J.W. Roth and, supreme above all of them, John Bogle and Warren Buffett, to invest wisely. I do the best I can and even so, I will make mistakes. Warren Buffett’s stock has lost close to 28% of its value recently and he has been downgraded by S&P for having too much extra liquidity in Treasury bonds. (Yes. I am not making that up.) If he can lose money, so can I. Again, I do the best I can, and when I am wrong, I am not going to add to my pain by beating myself up.
The speculators can buy themselves mansions in Greenwich. They are not going to buy my self-loathing.
5. I will not get high over this. I will not do violence against myself and I will not take it out on my wife or my son or anyone else. I will not let the speculators change who I am.
6. The speculators do not have all power. There is only One who has all power and I live by His rules, not by the rules of fear and panic peddled by some cable TV systems.
So, I can keep some perspective and go on with my life after all.
And I can look out on this magnificent mountain lake and think how it must laugh at stock markets and the affairs of men.
Fourteen years ago, my pal, the great dock builder, Dana Martin (who built the world’s best dock at Ivano’s Del Lago at Hope, Idaho) and I disposed of the ashes of our friend Peter Feierabend in this lake on a cool fall morning off my Thompson. It seemed as if the ashes did a little ironic bow, just as Peter used to do, when they were placed in the water. How much at peace he must be in that water. That is the real wealth: peace.
After the markets closed, I went for my usual bike ride around City Beach here. It is a bracing adventure, and the men and women I meet are uniformly friendly. No sullen, surly Beverly Hills sneers. Just happy, friendly faces.
I took my car and went over to the Safeway and found a pound of thick sliced national brand bacon. I took it to the self-serve check out. It was seven dollars and forty-nine cents plus tax. I could not believe it. And the government says there is no inflation?
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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Herb| 8.12.11 @ 7:05AM
What's next for the guru of self-absorbtion? The beauty of gazing into Lake Pendoreille at his own reflection?
Occam's Tool| 8.12.11 @ 12:14PM
1 house Malibu.
1 house Beverly Hills.
1 House Idaho.
Ben, a Jew should not be worrying about the price of bacon. Might I suggest you downsize so you can live with the tax hikes you want?
George True| 8.12.11 @ 12:18PM
Don't forget the house in Palm Desert.
Lesser Weevil| 8.12.11 @ 2:46PM
Or the apartment at the Watergate.
PCC| 8.12.11 @ 11:56PM
I think he has two apartments at the Watergate.
massmile | 8.12.11 @ 1:02PM
I am more than a little surprised that someone who has the kind of money that Mr Stein does has not availed himself of better financial advice.
I am a 26 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am seeking an older gentle man who can give me real love , so i got a username Annababe2011 on---a'ge'l'ov'e'r. C óM---it is the first and best club for y'ounger women and older men, or older women and younger men,to int'eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch'eck it out or tell your friends.
George True| 8.12.11 @ 1:59PM
Ooohh, baby! I wanna get with you. You can reach me at my website, just type in old guy dot com.
In the meantime, I know someone in Nigeria who needs to transfer $50 million dollars here. He just needs a bank account to wire the money to, in exchange for which he will give you a cool million for your troubles. Just get me your bank routing number and account number and I can set it up.
Lawrence Boccardi| 8.12.11 @ 7:19AM
Excellent, Herb!
Career Soldier| 8.12.11 @ 7:36AM
Thank you Mister Stein for your beautifully written piece about our financial fears and the amazing piece of mind that a good view can give. Aloha.
Bill Hussein O'Stalin| 8.12.11 @ 7:52AM
I wonder if Mr. Stein or others who have been invested in the stock market since 1999 realize that whether the market is up or down they've lost 32% of their wealth thanks to inflation.
So whether the market is up or down the silent tax of inflation is working against you. What causes inflation? All inflation comes from the government.
Wealth in the stock market over time was a reality for an extended period. That meant in most minds that the good times would go on forever. However, since 1999 you have lost money unless you jumped out at the tops and got back in at the bottoms. Fewer than one percent did that.
Millions are losing their wealth by staying in stocks. The markets would have to propel up to around 14,200 or so just to stay even with inflation. That's not going to happen any time soon.
You would be better off investing in well selected real estate and managing it yourself as a hobby. Also, parking it in TIPS would make more sense than investing in stocks.
Anyway, Mr. Stein should enjoy the lake and expensive bacon while it's there.
It's only a question of time before the EPA bans boats on protected waters and bans pig farmers from raising pigs.
Have a nice day in a country where the real value was in the Constitution but the big government types are shredding that value too and they're not thick slicing it.
JP| 8.12.11 @ 8:44AM
Yes,
Inflation is the one thing no one dares mention. Since 2001, the average American lost 22% of his buying power. If a family stuck away $1000 in a simple passbook account in 2001, it would be worth $780 today.
And Bill, as you pointed out, dollar denominated stocks have gotten walloped by inflation. It is no wonder investors are wary. Profits are nice; but inflation can eat away at dividends very quickly.
My father lives in a modest urban nieghborhood in the Rustbelt. In 1981 he purchased his home for $29,000. Today that home is assessed at $82,000. Five years ago it was assessed at $102,000. Even with the depreciation in the real estate market, inflation over the last 30 years has almost tripled the price of my father's home.
Bill Hussein O'Stalin| 8.12.11 @ 9:27AM
You bring up an excellent point that I left out. The greatest protection against inflation is real estate, a commodity that you simply lease from the government. Ironic, isn't it?
martin j smith| 8.12.11 @ 7:57AM
Ben welcome to the real world and stop whining. How about trying to get our country back to life and supporting someone to defeat Obama and the Socialists ? How about working on that ?
John Makar| 8.12.11 @ 8:11AM
Ben - Thanks for having enough sense and respect for the reality of Who provides all. We are all so blessed and most folks are too caught up in life to realize it. The stock market is driven by folks who want to make money - and they do so by manipulating the market by fear since they make money as it goes up and down.
Thanks for being a voice of reason. Hope your wife feels better soon.
R Martin| 8.12.11 @ 8:13AM
"It was seven dollars and forty-nine cents plus tax."
Must be those darn bacon speculators.
JP| 8.12.11 @ 8:47AM
Pork prices has gone through the roof during the last 18 months. Besides the increased cost of energy, corn, and beans, overseas demand has put quite a bit of pressure on hogs. Pork used to be the poor man's beef; not anymore. Chicken is now the only meat people can afford to buy in bulk.
JimH| 8.12.11 @ 8:57AM
Ben, I've been reading you for years. Lately I've found you to be getting a bit too maudlin. I find myself disagreeing with you more on government policy then in the past. But you have fully redeemed yourself in my eyes by citing Ren and Stimpy.
Grzmlyk| 8.12.11 @ 9:16AM
Somebody take Ben Stein's keyboard away from him.
PLEASE.
Forgive me for commenting on his article without reading it. My doctor told me that if I read one more Stein piece, I'll go into insulin shock.
Ben, shut up and give all of your money to the government and get it over with already, ok? Nobody really gives a flying rat's ass about your mawkish ego.
Just stop typing and live on $50 k a year.
KyMouse| 8.12.11 @ 9:26AM
So sorry, Mr. Stein. I hope your worries about money haven't kept you from enjoying your beach house in Malibu.
C. Vail| 8.12.11 @ 9:28AM
It's bedtime for Benny. His little sermonettes -- in which saintly wifey, his pack of wonderful pals, and his passel of homes always play prominent roles -- have become the very definition of maudlin self-absorption. Stein has a right to say any silly thing he wants, and The American Spectator can be silly enough to publish it (and presumably pay for the privilege), but I sure as hell don't have to read such insipidness. And I won't, ever again. If I'm utterly bored I'll contemplate my own navel.
Melvin| 8.12.11 @ 9:38AM
Thirty years ago, my brother-in-law told me, "once Corporations get into the food chain, we are going to be forced to pay whatever they demand."
The price of gasoline was the start of this. For those of us old enough to remember, the price of gasoline used to traditionally go up or down in the Fall, once a year, maybe twice. Unlike today where schemes developed by Wall Street now cause the price per gallon to explode daily, but fall by pennies if at all.
This is the same thing with food. Food is now produced by basically Archer-Daniels-Midland, and Cargill. Archer-Daniels-Midland alone had profits jump by 42%.
" ADM executives attributed record earnings throughout all of the company’s operations to an enormous increase in speculative activity in commodities markets.
“Volatility in commodity markets presented unprecedented opportunities,” ADM chief executive Patricia Woertz told investor analysts in on the call. “Once again, our team leveraged our financial flexibility and global asset base to capture those opportunities to deliver shareholder value.”
Now does this sound like old Floyd down the road who has been farming his whole life? Before some of you Free Marketeers out there get your skivvies in a bind from the above, ardently defending the free market, better admit to yourselves the market is no longer operated under the free market principals that made this Country a economic powerhouse.
The market has been taken over by Crony-Capitalists, and extreme volatility of the market that is influenced by fear, and market manipulation to artificially keep commodities price high. The more volitionality, and market manipulation the better.
Not only have we become economic slaves to the Crony-Capitalists in the government and Wall Street, they now have us by the throat controlling us through the food chain, and what type of food we eat through genetic engineering.
The next area that is being eyed to control is something more important than food......"It is called the control of.....drinkable water. The government has already recently passed last year and signed into law legislation that tightens government control of water sources on private property even more.
"If the people refuse to comply, then cut off their water."
wally| 8.12.11 @ 10:35AM
God Bless Ben Stein. Contrary to most other posters here, I uniformly love reading his columns. Uplifting and gives perspective. And I do not covet his wealth. He earned it.
Kingofthenet| 8.12.11 @ 10:50AM
Why is this Jew eating bacon? Maybe your 'SkyGod' was sending you a message with the price, saying it ain't 'Kosher'. Just kidding enjoy a fine BLT.
On another note who 'retires' or vacations in Idaho? Whenever I am in 'flyover' Territory, I try and get out of there as fast as possible.
Westie| 8.12.11 @ 11:19AM
Ben Stein and Warren Buffett two pricks in the pod. Somebody take away the rest of Ben's money.
Brian B| 8.12.11 @ 11:36AM
Why do people who hate reading Ben Stein, read Ben Stein and then write about how much they hate reading Ben Stein?
Or in grzmlyk's peculiar case, write about how much they hate reading Ben Stein without even actually reading him, but still feeling the compulsion to write about how much he hates reading him.
PeabodyNSherman| 8.12.11 @ 11:51AM
Well said, Brian B.
Bah-humbug, all others.
Dan Mathewson| 8.12.11 @ 8:32PM
The internet seems to bring out the worst in Man. If y'all don't like what Ben writes about then by all means stop reading him.
Occam's Tool| 8.12.11 @ 12:18PM
King:
"Flyover" country is glorious. One tends to be more free of the "cage one is in, the bars of which are one's fellow human beings."
I read Ben because he is such an annoying Jewish stereotype---kind of like sticking one's tongue into a cavity---you know it will hurt, yet you compulsively do it to see if it has eroded more. Yipes.
Ben, there have been plenty of times I have felt violent---the stock market has never made me feel so. You have three houses, man---two of them in some of the priciest real estate markets in the US. Get a flinkin' grip.
skip| 8.13.11 @ 1:12AM
Sshhhhhh.
Don't ruin it. Let them think whatever they wish, anything at all, just so long as they don't bring their imitation life as giant insect colony here.
You are so right, Kingboy. Concrete, steel, and the body odor of several hundreds of thousands of other pissants in close proximity is the only life, baby. Rah rah.
Kelli| 8.12.11 @ 12:27PM
Mr. Stein, your articles make me smile and I'm constantly forwarding them on to family and friends. Like you, I too have a lake house in Sandpoint. It is truly my favorite place in the entire world and everything you say about the place and people are true! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us!
George True| 8.12.11 @ 12:45PM
I have always liked Ben Stein. Many years ago he wrote a book entitled "Bunkhouse Logic". It has been out of print for a long time, but it is an absolute gem of a book, worth picking up a used copy if you can find one. I also liked his show, "Win Ben Stein's Money". I don't recall any challengers ever getting any of his money -Stein's knowledge base was just too vast for them.
Having said all that, his columns of late seem to be rather self-absorbed and out of touch with the real world that most of us still inhabit. His biggest decisions he has to grapple with seem to be whether to stay at the house in Rancho Mirage or the one in Beverly Hills. And whether to have dinner tonight at Chez Expensive or Casa Mucha Moolah. It reminds me of the writer Jon Krakauer writing about his motorcycle road trip with two media billionaires. They would typically talk about things like which model of Gulfstream they liked the best out of the different ones they had owned. Then they would turn to Jon and recommend which one would be best for him as a starter jet.
The other thing that disturbs me is the remarkably bad financial advice Ben seems to have gotten from his money managers. One that he mentioned I know personally, and my opinion of him is a BS artist who fundamentally does not care about his clients.
For the last 18 months I have been advising my clients to get out of all dollar denominated equities, and put the money where it will not be ravaged by inflation. That means things like gold, silver, ETF's that are designed to go up when the dollar goes down, and foreign ETF's in markets that are much more business friendly than the U.S. is right now. I am more than a little surprised that someone who has the kind of money that Mr Stein does has not availed himself of better financial advice.
W| 8.12.11 @ 12:49PM
Mr. Stein,
I believe you are a financial genius. You got TAS to pay you to write this diary. How did you do it?
Melvin| 8.12.11 @ 12:49PM
There is a solution to not like reading Ben's musings. Don't read them, after-all it isn't like he's twisting your arm.
Chris Ruetenik| 8.12.11 @ 12:55PM
I don't always agree with Ben. But I enjoy his writing. Melvin said it above, move on if his blog is not your cup of tea.. why are you wasting your time?
simon templar| 8.12.11 @ 1:22PM
Yes, and I can say the same for your column as of late.
Too Many Tims| 8.12.11 @ 1:46PM
And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?
http://kingjbible.com/luke/12.htm
corey| 8.12.11 @ 4:22PM
Ben, Or the editors involved,
The lake on which Hope, and Sandpoint, ID are located is spelled Pend Orielle. I was taught is is from the french and means "lobe of the ear", because the river route resembles this part of the human anatomy to the imaginative explorers who first mapped the area. I share a deep love of this area with Mr Stein.
michael| 8.12.11 @ 6:03PM
Sad. First because a guy has to talk to himself this way. Second, because as a sel-described "economist" BS ougfht to know that food prices are not calculated in the computation of inflation.
Merlin| 8.12.11 @ 7:18PM
Ben,
Thanks for sharing your life with us and keep tell us about it. If I get bored, I won't read your columns for a while. I appreciate the commentors here, and value there opionions, but I don't know why they want to rain on your parade. Maybe it illustrates the reason for the 10th Commandment.
Oh, I suspect that my assets are about 1/100 of yours. I begrudge you nothing. Enjoy.
Merlin| 8.12.11 @ 7:27PM
How about a contest? Whoever can say the nastiest thing, without vulgarity, about Ben should get a prize. Dinner with Ben in Sandpoint? (Ben, take him to McDonald's)
Herb| 8.12.11 @ 9:16PM
Holy moly, merely criticizing Ben's style is not to say nasty things about him! But the syndrome he currently exhibits is neither new nor unique. Humble beginnings followed by success later in life and then.... "I really don't deserve all this, just what makes me better than everyone else, especially these uncommonly beautiful young women struggling to survive as they wait on me hand and foot in restaurants!!?"
The result...wait for it.... LIBERAL GUILT!
By the way, I live in disgustin' backward, retrogressive South Carolina. I guess Idaho is special for some reason but Ben's rhapsodic paeans somehow escape my pathetic understanding.
bluecollarbytes| 8.12.11 @ 10:18PM
pssst.....'pork bellies'
Congratulations on your accumulations. No doubt you earned every bit of it.
POST American| 8.12.11 @ 11:20PM
---------------------BOTTOM LINE---------------------
--AND speaking of the lakeside in the country,
get up before 8 am, take a look at the sky and
see how many CHEM-trails you can count.
Dan Mathewson| 8.13.11 @ 5:48PM
They're coming for you.
Appleby| 8.13.11 @ 9:34AM
In Goodies We Trust, eh, Ben?
Congratulate yourself on all the Stuff you have and all the people who dote on you -- and keep telling yourself God loves you best because He keeps shoveling Goodies into your bottomless well. But couldnt you just bore your family and servants who are paid to listen to you brag?
My sisters and I have better things to do -- we, not being loaded with Goodies (of the five, one is retired, one long-time unemployed, one a housewife with a retired husband, and one barely and bravely scraping by), have to make a plan to care for our beloved Mama who needs assisted living and that, you probably dont know, is very, very costly for the Proletariat.
So lets have a column in which you sit on your dock and congratulate yourself that you are not us. That will make everything much better.
phil| 8.13.11 @ 9:56AM
Thanks, Ben, for giving us perspective.
Ned the Red| 8.13.11 @ 11:43AM
Ben, if the worse happens I think you would make an excellent greeter at Walmarts.
John G.| 8.13.11 @ 6:09PM
Ben, one word - Annuitize
allie aller | 8.13.11 @ 10:52PM
Bless you, Uncle Ben!
Ore Gone| 8.13.11 @ 11:46PM
Thanks Ben for the article! I just came back from Idaho and I hate to say it but the people are friendly and the country is beautiful. I hope the haters stay right where they are and not turn Idaho into one of the hateful sewers they live in. The people living in the country still enjoy life and don't wake every day with the thought of "who can I belittle or hurt today". There is a lot of senseless anger and hate in these comments but I think you have your priorities right and you need to keep expressing them. God Bless You and this Country.
Lisa| 8.17.11 @ 10:54PM
Ben, I am very glad you found your little piece of paradise out here in the great Pacific Northwest. I've been reading your columns in the AmSpec for 20 years or so and have enjoyed your musings and quick wit.
I'm sorry to to say that I'm one of those people who have been struck by demon cancer and only have a few months to live. With that being said, life has been good to me as I find my joy in the little things of life: my family (parents & children). At the end of my life approaches, I spend a lot of time thinking about what really matters in life - and it isn't money, power, or politics.
God bless you and yours, Ben.
TWS| 9.20.11 @ 11:24AM
America is more like the world you live in now Mr Stein than the world you worked in before. My family is from Kamiah and Kooskia and we never lost our determination or dreams even in the great depression, even when my grandfather had to brew his own beer!
America is those blue haired girls and dinners at Priest Lake (although Priest Lake was very different when I was a kid)! Thank you for joining us in the real world.
Don
Forks
P.S. OT I know but I just watched 'Expelled'. Great movie.