The American Spectator : Far Away From the Panic

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Far Away From the Panic

By Ben Stein on 8.10.11 @ 9:05AM

No bloody rioters in Sandpoint, or billionaire traders.

Tuesday
"Free breathing restored!" as my pal, Phil DeMuth, says. The markets have rallied, staving off fears of impoverishment for a while now. I slept very late, got up, made breakfast for my ailing wife, and then rode my bike all around City Beach here in Sandpoint, Idaho.

I love this town so much I can hardly even start to tell you. It's everything I always dreamed of in a small town: perfect, sweeping lake vistas, immense mountains ringing the lake, a charming downtown, friendly, cheerful young and old people, amazingly fine restaurants.

I am particularly amazed at how many truly beautiful women and girls there are in this town. They just seem to manufacture stunning women here. I suspect it's because they do not have the look of fear, aggression, and tension so many women in my beloved L.A. or my hometown of Washington, D.C. have. They look calm and unafraid.

The women and girls at the Safeway at The Watergate look as if they would just as soon kill you as look at you. They are riding on immense tsunamis of rage and paranoia. (I am not referring to the women from the Watergate complex itself nor to the fabulously kind employees of the Safeway. I am referring to young college age women from nearby schools who look as if they expecting a catastrophe to befall them at any instant.) The women in my neighborhood in Beverly Hills simply never smile. Not ever. NEVER.

But here, the women and girls smile, say, "Hi, Ben," even if they do not know me, and the women who work at the Safeway or Starbucks are genuinely delightful. There is just no fear here. I wonder why.

A mere trip to a restaurant is a gift from on high because of the smiles and laughter of the managers and workers.

Today, a young girl flagged me down as I was riding my bike in the park. "Hey, Ben," she said. "How are you?"

I am sure I did not know her, but I had a pleasant conversation with her. She told me she was 13 and went to The Waldorf School, whatever that is. I told her she should enjoy being young and beautiful, and went on my way.

I drove down along Route 200 to the even smaller town of Priest River to see an old friend. The drive is along the Pendoreille River and meadowlands. The river is wide and empty of boats. The sky was a light, cloudless blue. The hayfield meadows were green and yellow. Almost no cars were on the highway.

On the radio, men and women talked about riots in the U.K. Massive looting. Cities ablaze. Scary. I am extremely glad I am in North Idaho.

A boat trip on the mighty Cobalt to Ivano's Del Lago, a spectacularly great café on the Hope Peninsula across the top of the lake. My wife got off her sickbed to ride to the dinner on the evening waves. Our pals Tim and Penny Farmin came along to guide me and keep us company. I am not at all good boatparking this maniacally powerful craft and Tim's help is always useful. Boats don't have any brakes and it takes them a while to slow down and park. I am getting better at it, little by little.

The view of the setting sun behind the boat along the wake was stupendous, especially with the flag flapping wildly in the wind. This really is the way life is to be led. This is the way I like to live my life. Others may differ.

We had a great dinner, then came home in partial darkness. I don't know why, but riding in the gloaming in an open boat is simply intoxicating. How good the Lord has been to my little family. I have to beg Him to restore my wife to health.

*****

A LITTLE POSTSCRIPT. I notice that the papers and the Internet talk about the big losses on the stock markets yesterday as being based on "...waves of investor panic..." Nonsense. The selling is done by billionaire traders and immense hedge funds and high frequency traders who seek to make money by selling, then tricking others into selling even more, then covering their shorts at lower prices. This is not Ma and Pa Kettle calling their broker and selling their 1000 shares of AT&T. It is cynical, calculated maneuvering by cold, clever people. It isn't illegal, but you buy into it at your peril. These people are not the ordinary investors' friend. They will use any and every excuse and rationale to "explain" their behavior, but it's all about trying to outwit the next guy.

To quote Patton in the movie Patton, it's "… not about dying for your country. It is about making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country." That's the attitude of the traders. They're not bad people. They're just trying to get rich quick, but that's not illegal. But don't believe this nonsense about Wall Streeters' "panic." They're the bosses and they're not panicked at all. They're making money while YOU are panicked.

About the Author

Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes "Ben Stein's Diary" for every issue of The American Spectator.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (47) | Leave a comment

Alan Brooks| 8.10.11 @ 9:37AM

"And Obama is saying Assad is unfit for office. What irony!"

Obama is more fit than McCain- a fact not an opinion. Obama is younger, stronger, smarter, etc., than McCain.
McCain ran in '88 because he had been tortured at the Hanoi Hilton, he never stopped reminding us of his 'Nam Vet status. If you voted for McCain then no wonder you feel guilty; and whose problem is that? if you did vote for him you brought it on yourself.

The GOP made its bed, now it can lie in it.

Alan Brooks| 8.10.11 @ 9:39AM

oops, '08, not '88-- a Freudian slip.

Kenny| 8.10.11 @ 9:57AM

Can't even get your dates straight! Go back to sleep.

Truth to Power| 8.10.11 @ 10:03AM

Freudian slip? What a know nothing goofball.

Clint| 8.10.11 @ 9:41AM

Obama made his bed, now he can lie in it.

" The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Wednesday shows that 21% of the nation's voters Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as president. Forty-two percent (42%) Strongly Disapprove, giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -21 "

Alan Brooks| 8.10.11 @ 10:22AM

Okay, Obama is losing; so now tell us:
are you going to run another lousy candidate next year?
odds are, yes.

Clint| 8.10.11 @ 10:37AM

You're Odd, ObamaBoy Brooks.

You Voted For Obama.

Obviously, You Don't Know What A Lousy Candidate Is.

Purple Lips| 8.10.11 @ 12:44PM

We're going to run Christine O'Donnel. She's hot - or at least hotter than Obama (that is unless you're gay or a metrosexual with gender issues).

LiveFreeOrDie| 8.10.11 @ 10:06AM

You are infatuated with John McCain. Weird.

Alan Brooks| 8.10.11 @ 10:24AM

Well, you guys almost have homo-erotic feelings for Reagan.

Clint| 8.10.11 @ 10:34AM

That's a queer thing to say, ObamaBoy Brooks.

junkyard infidel| 8.10.11 @ 1:09PM

wtf does this have to with steins piece ? do you wake up and start drinking ? and what's with the mccain obsession ? he wasn't elected, so your delusional, pickled brain musings of what he would or would not have been like as potus are ignorant and irrelevant !

AhiaGuy| 8.10.11 @ 2:18PM

My thoughts exactly, junk. Did the oft-posting Mr. Brooks get the wrong article, or is he just losing it seeing his Socialist Utopian Dream for the country going down the drain?

Jack in Wi.| 8.10.11 @ 3:49PM

There have been a lot of incompetent and even criminal presidents. Obumbler has got to be near the top of the list. He has to ask his handlers when he can go to the bathroom. They wind him up like a toy, put a speech in his hand and send him out to blather somemore, every morning.

Intelligent Design| 8.10.11 @ 9:31AM

It's about the same here at the big lake in NH... Swim, kayak, canoe --- while "investors" let the sound of their own wheels drive them crazy. And the "journalists" are busy churning out rubbish. And Obama is saying Assad is unfit for office. What irony!

Melvin| 8.10.11 @ 9:48AM

Ben's opinion is pretty much on the money. Traders do not have loyalty to Country, Company, Friends, nor even Family.
A Trader's loyalty is profit. If that means screwing anyone and anything to achieve that at the Country's, and the citizens that live within expense, then so be it. Because the Trader has no shame or conscience of the monetary or personal wreckage they leave in their wake.
The Traders manipulate the markets through fear, intimidation, insider information, and lets face it, outright fraud in many cases.
And for those that will more in likely post and extol the virtues and the necessity of Traders and Hedge Funds, blow it out your ass, the dirty little secret on this filthy financial scheme is out, and the more regular people catch on to it, they see how utterly revolting Traders and Hedge Funds truly are.

MarkR| 8.10.11 @ 11:30AM

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. "---The difference between what Ben Stein talks of and our government is succinctly stated by Mr. C S Lewis above. The fact is Wall Street Traders have ALWAYS been that way and man has ALWAYS had the greedy among them. When the government becomes the benefactor of a casino like mentality- (which it has under this MARXIST) then we have crossed the line. Sorry Ben, your sympathy with tax hikes and trust of the inside traders in DC -ie:the government- somewhat mute your worship of the God you trust.

Stefan Stackhouse| 8.10.11 @ 11:42AM

I keep reminding myself that it is only the lucky traders that we hear about. The unlucky ones who lose their shirts go quickly into obscurity. The problem is that you bet your money before you find out if you are going to be lucky or unlucky. An afternoon at the horse races would seem to me to be a far more pleasant alternative.

simon templar| 8.10.11 @ 12:05PM

Yeah, Ben, I am confident that you are making that classic american home town an unaffordable place to live and in a short time those cute little home town girls and boys will not be able to raise their children there for long.
As far as who is selling stock...try calling a brokerage firm..it more than institutional investors and corporations..it is many of us out here who actually work for a living and do not want to take another huge hit on our retirement.
Your columns of late are sounding much too much self indulgent and irrevelant.

Lesser Weevil| 8.10.11 @ 12:28PM

Of late? Ben's been writing this stuff for what, 30 years? At least we don't get the sick-making paeans to Little Mr. Perfect any more.

Of course, like anything that goes on for so long, we will eventually miss it when it stops.

Jack in Wi.| 8.10.11 @ 3:53PM

I used to like Ben. but he is way too self indulgent now. I got sick of all his fauning to the military. The founders of this country were very suspicious of both the executive and the military. It is time we headed back to that kind of thinking.

Occam's Tool| 8.10.11 @ 8:55PM

Dear Jack,

the Founders were not fond of a standing army not under Civilian control. We have paid the price with blood for this suspicion. Today's Army does the job with very low casualties compared to the Army in say, WWII, Korea, or Vietnam.

And anyone who puts his own skin on the line to protect me deserves my respect. You again show why you are an ass.

Occam's Tool| 8.10.11 @ 12:56PM

Well, Ben the solution is to make it easier to invest and produce---raising taxes won't do that.

I live in a town like SandPoint, only in Minnesota, the year 'round, now. But I trained at UCLA from '89-'93, and lived and dated through the riots (taking my GF at the time and finding a safe place where she could be protected, with me).

As for why the girls in Beverly Hills don't smile---as a psychiatrist who trained in LA and dated women there, let me tell you why---in the morning, they wake up, get ready for work, and undo their 3 deadbolts to their doors. The LAPD has the smallest police force of any of the major cities in the US relative to size.

They then go to the elevator, where they may be in close quarters to a rapist. Then to their underground apartment parking center, where a criminal may be lurking in a corner.

Then it's time to drive on the totally unpredictable LA freeways. In my time in LA, I was hit from the rear in a traffic jam, suffered a high speed blowout of a tire in the far left lane of a 12 lane freeway (6 each way), watched a guy do a 360 spinout in front of me on the highway, and saw another guy's tire fall off and watched his car go sparking down the freeway, all in the space of 5 years.

Arrive at one's place of work and park the car in an underground garage. Hope there are no rapists in the corner of the parking area. Go up the elevator to your work cubicle with strangers who might at any time---unknowable.
Go to Venice Beach for Lunch, and hope no one is shot as you leave the beach (happened to me---witnessing the shooting), or there is no shooting at the restaurant in which you are eating (happened to a fellow psych resident while I was at UCLA).

Then finish up work, and repeat the morning's process, only (IN THE DARK).

The men you try to date are all nervous narcissists trying to get ahead in the LA manner of furiously intense laid backedness. Maybe they will keep their unsteady jobs---the dating pecking order is INDUSTRY (the BUSINESS) followed by all else.

Washington has a Different Business (The Industry) at the top of the food chain, but it is otherwise the same.

"I don't understand why they don't smile more."

A Lawyer Entertainment Industry Asshole doesn't understand why the Women feel besieged.

(Incidentally, I met some very nice women to date in LA, and some women who, when they were getting off the Narcissism Express, said they wished they had followed up with me after the first date. But I left, and found the Alabama Angel six days after I moved to 'Bama.)

Please stay away from my small town, Ben. It's beautiful and nice and it doesn't need. Counselor Self-Absorption.

Occam's Tool| 8.10.11 @ 12:57PM

Sorry, no period between "Need" and "Counselor."

LiveFreeOrDie| 8.10.11 @ 1:15PM

Ben,

I enjoy Sandpoint at least a few times a year. It's an eclectic little town with an odd mix of people. The scenery is wonderful in any season and it makes a great getaway any time of the year. The Sandpoint area is on my top ten list of places to spend retirement...which looks like an impossibility more and more with each passing day. You are truly blessed.

MikeBee| 8.10.11 @ 1:48PM

Ben's town is just a small part of flyover country in the U.S. This is where most of the conservative Republicans are found, in the land where people smile at each other. In Michigan, it is easy to strike up a 1/2-hour conversation with total strangers. Not so in Los Angeles, where I was raised, or in New York, where I've visited. The big cities are where liberals are found, along with their "compassion" for all criminals. It's also where these criminals lurk, waiting for their next victim. Coincidentally, it's also where the immensely rich lurk, waiting for their next self-caused stock market downturn to occur, so they can grab up much of the flyover country people's wealth.

Mark MacDonald| 8.10.11 @ 2:50PM

Thanks for the vacation update Ben. But I expected to hear a little more about the granddaughter. Please continue to educate people on the stock market.

Mark MacDonald| 8.10.11 @ 2:50PM

Thanks for the vacation update Ben. But I expected to hear a little more about the granddaughter. Please continue to educate people on the stock market.

JP| 8.10.11 @ 4:08PM

Monday's massive sell-off sure looks like the dirty work of short-sellers. But, short-sellers do serve a very usefull purpose. They can smell out a rat better than any regulatory agency. It was short-sellers, who instead of betting long on that once darling of Wall ,St -Enron, went short. They did thier homework (or detective work), took a huge risk and shorted the stock. They smelled a rat, and were right. Of course, they didn't go short for the public good. Quite the opposite; there was big bucks to be made if they were right.

Probably the greatest short-seller in recent memory is John Paulson. He calculated correctly that real estate derivitives were about to tank. He had Goldman put together a massive short-sale, in which he bet $700 million of his own cash (Goldman, btw was still betting long). He cashed in $3 billion when the market tanked several months later. Short sales are all about timing and prices. Johnson could have lost big time if the real estate markets didn't implode according to his calculations.

In both the Enron and real estate short-sales, almost everyone was still bullish. The credit rating agencies like S&P and Moodys still had highly leveraged firms like Bear Steans rated AAA+ weeks only weeks before they collapsed. Short-sellers are villified; but, in the end they are the only people who know what's really going on.

So, who or what firm caused the sell-off Monday? Some people are saying it was Soros; Ben believes it was one or 2 hedge funds. What is interesting is that not only did equities take a beating, but so did oil. Gold, on the other hand, enjoyed a really good run-up. What oil and most stocks have in common is that they are bought and sold in dollars. Someone offloaded a huge chunk of dollar denominated assets and bought Gold.

And yesterday, the Fed Chair announced firmly that interest rates will remain at 0% for at least the next 18 months. There is also whispers about QE3. Short selling the dollar may actually be quite profitable in the near future.

MyHeartsinID| 8.10.11 @ 4:13PM

Gold, smold... this is EXACTLY why my treasure is in farm land in Idaho. The land has been blessed with incredible beauty, and the people are wonderful.

idalily| 8.10.11 @ 4:27PM

To MyHeart and Ben Stein: STOP. Please, I beg you, stop bragging about Idaho. Ssshhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet so no one notices how wonderful (and blissfully uncrowded) our state really is.

To Everyone Else: it's awful here in Idaho. Really. It's horrible. Totally backwoods. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Purple Lips| 8.10.11 @ 4:50PM

Too late. There are plenty of Lefties who have vacation homes there. Idaho will slowly but surely go the way of Vermont and New Mexico. All it takes is a few Robert Redfords, a George Soros, and couple of federal judges to do the trick.

Occam's Tool| 8.10.11 @ 8:52PM

And Montana.

Oldefarte| 8.10.11 @ 4:23PM

Concerning the attitudes of small town America versus the big city dwellers, the former are more friendly because they are mostly conservative/Republicans, whereas the latter are the radical/socialistic extremists of the Democratic Party. The former are employees, business owners etc who WORK FOR THEIR LIVING, whereas many of the latter are GOVERNMENTAL WELFARE RECIPIENTS. Therefore the former smile a lot, while the latter frown/glare. Its called happiness and self-contention. As to the stock markets crashing, it undeserved because it was/is unnecessary, and it happened because of the radical/socialist Democrats who control this country's government [and who are flushing same and its economy down the financial toilet]!!!!!!!

Seriously| 8.12.11 @ 7:30PM

That is literally the dumbest thing I have EVER heard in my life.

Oldefarte| 8.13.11 @ 4:15PM

Your rebuttal argument/lack of explanation just proved Forrest Gump to be correct!!!!!!!!

Bill| 8.10.11 @ 5:37PM

The markets rallied, then collapsed by an additional 550 points the next day.

Carly| 8.10.11 @ 7:39PM

Hey Ben! Are you attending The Festival at Sandpoint this year? It is such a great event that happens in our town that brings together lots of beautiful, smiling faces!!

apple| 8.10.11 @ 10:49PM

Because the Trader has no shame or conscience of the monetary or personal wreckage they leave in their wake.
http://www.summer-products.com
http://www.ainibag.com

Mike| 8.10.11 @ 10:50PM

Johnson could have lost big time if the real estate markets didn't implode according to his calculations.
http://www.jerseys-hats-store.com
http://www.honey-gifts.com

Diane| 8.10.11 @ 11:05PM

At 46, living and growning up in Southern Oregon.....Hope Idaho and Lake Pend Oreille is my second home. My grandparents purchased lake front property when I was 2 and I think I've missed 4 precious years of my life by not being able to visit. They have since passed on, but our family comes each and every year. I don't know what I would do if this were not a part of my life and my soul. Just as Ben said, it's nothing short of utopia. Everything from the 4th of July parade in Clark Fork to my first kiss on Memaloose Island....heading to the dock and staying all day till I was called in for dinner.....simple splendor. It is and will forever be a part of what has made me appreciate life today. With all that's going on around us, HOPE (Idaho) is where I take my worried mind.

Much love and gratitude,

Diane Thompson Aase
Medford, Oregon

SilverWing at Sandpoint| 8.10.11 @ 11:10PM

Thanks for the great article, Mr. Stein! If you're still in town Saturday, please join us at the airport for the 6th Annual Wings Over Sandpoint Fly-In. Should be a great time.

JLK| 8.11.11 @ 12:12AM

I saved my Wall St. Journals from the '08 wreckage,and there were plenty of "smart" millionaires and billionaires who lost tons of money.

Douglas Fletcher| 8.11.11 @ 2:15PM

I used to like Ben Stein back in the 80s/90s, but I'm afraid his columns at the Spectator have just become so much wasted space to me. I'll grant you, Ben, that it sure is nice up there in the mountains, and all those guys on Wall Street who got in the business to make money, are, shockingly, only worried about making money. Gosh.

I don't see much difference between what Ben's writing these days and what you might get from a serene lefty prof summering up outside of Boulder, digging the lovely glow after a few bong hits and man, aren't those right wingers a bunch a greedy SOBs.

shipley130| 8.11.11 @ 6:00PM

You know why Ben? Because all the liberal Killifornia liberal BS hasn't totally penetrated into Idaho.

David Reseska| 8.11.11 @ 8:08PM

Ben, Sorry about the comments on your jacket! You can obviously dress as you please in Sandpoint. I guess I am saying it is time to chill, be comfortable, enjoy your time here and you are a world away from LA and DC. Sorry

Scrapette Jones| 8.12.11 @ 7:45PM

Another great Calgon experience from you, Ben. I appreciate it. The older I get (55 years young at present), the more I seek the Calgon Effect (takes me away) where and whenever I can. Ben Stein's Diary, making art, catching the standup on Comedy Central weekends, and watching TCM and all the Norma Shearer movies I can find are currently my favorites. Self-indulgent works for me!