The American Spectator : Laden With Significance

Text Size

Laden With Significance

By Jay D. Homnick on 5.13.11 @ 6:08AM

It appears we've done Zawahiri and Awlaki a huge favor.

The latest Bin Laden material to be leaked reminded me of the gag about the great actor who opens the morning paper and finds his own obituary. Probably someone by the same name died and the editors mistakenly published a review of his life. Chuckling, he calls his agent: "Herb, you have got to see Page 54 of today's Times!"

Herb steps away from the phone to find the article. When he comes back, his voice is shaking.

"You mean they let you make a phone call from there?"

Osama has been dead for years, of course, in the operational sense. He has not been in the position to lead anything. He was lucky enough to be physically in this world so he could read his own obituary. But he certainly was not about to star in Osama II: The Sequel before the CIA Seek-Well team found his lair. He turned out to be in a suburban hovel rather than in a feral cave, but the basic reality was just as advertised. Once he went over-the-hill in Tora Bora, he was reduced to watching the reruns of his greatest episodes.

It was still a good idea to go get him, both for retributive purposes and to score a symbolic blow.

Yet that narrative is too bloodless for the mythmakers. The ongoing apotheosis of Obama for shooting Osama requires that we confer the Nobel War Prize on Osama retroactively. He was sharp; he was engaged; he was involved; he was calling the shots; he was running the show. Only the fearless Boy Wonder of Pennsylvania Avenue stood between Osama's legions and our Armageddon. Somehow, with the clock ticking away the last seconds of hope for humanity, Barack found the strength to behead the monster and save civilization.

This version of events is making its way into the press through anonymous leakers of high-value intelligence pretending to be whistle-blowers rather than own-horn-blowers. Yes, these breathless conspirators whisper to their tame journalist friends, Osama was still Meester Beeg. Indeed, reports the Associated Press, the new information "shatters the government's conventional thinking about Bin-Laden, who had been regarded for years as mostly an inspirational figurehead whose years in hiding made him too marginalized to maintain operational control…"

It turns out that Osama was in regular contact with the boys in Yemen and elsewhere through UBS flash drives by which he sent computer files with his thoughts. All of this is true enough. But when you read the excerpts they provide, you can laugh your head off… you should excuse the expression.

You can tell immediately that no one is listening to him. His messages are the equivalent of the guy kibitzing at the Scrabble game: "No, the Z… I said the Z… on the Triple Letter Score…" "No, no, don't put down the ING for 20 points… you save that for a chance at a seven-letter Bingo next turn…"

He says to stop attacking big cities, start attacking small cities. Stop targeting small crowds, start big crowds. Stop the planes, start the trains. Clearly the decisions are being made elsewhere. There is not a single one of the successful al Qaeda attacks of recent years that he conceived… or advanced… or coordinated. The only targets of his sniping were the guys who actually ran things. We can all imagine them rolling their eyes when Uncle Ozzie's latest broadside showed up; that is, if they even read them. We found Oz in his pajamas and he wasn't much of a wizard; he didn't give us our courage, or our brain, or our heart.

I hate to say this, really I do, but it looks like we have done Zawahiri and Awlaki a huge favor by taking out their dotty old pensioner. They are off the hook of paying sentimental obeisance to the old mullah emeritus, plus as a bonus they get to invoke his martyrdom as a call to arms. Otherwise they might have had to smuggle him back to headquarters someday and deal with him up close.

It reminds me of another old joke, about the old man who needs a dangerous operation. He insists that he will only trust his son to do the surgery. Before the anesthetic is administered, he leaves his son with one last message to inspire a good performance: "Remember, my son, if anything goes wrong, your mother will move in with you and your family."

About the Author

Jay D. Homnick, commentator and humorist, is a frequent contributor to The American Spectator. He also writes for Human Events. Here he performs his original composition, "Buy You (Bayou) a Drink".

Letter to the Editor View all comments (25) | Leave a comment

Dee See| 5.13.11 @ 7:00AM

"We are using MASSIVE third world
immigration (largely muslim) to destroy British
culture once and for all ---forever."
-TONY BLAIR
(Daily Mail interview cited by ALAN WATT)

And as our own borders are collapsed, as
30 MILLION illegals (REAL figure) roam the
landscape of an America with a probably 20%
REAL unemployment rate

AND AS a pervasive police grid is laid down
--for the American people, as no one touches
those who 'use' the underpaid labor

AND AS Janet Napolitano secretly signs
some 80 MILLION Mexicans into 'trusted
traveller' (ie green card lite) status

AND AS Arizona is about to split in 2 to
form a quasi-Mexican 'buffer zone'
---all without seroius attention from
the 'populist' News corp FOX -which itself
funded the gringo-bashing exploitation
film 'Machete'

-----------------------the utterly fake Bin Laden
video getting top of the bill psy op. hype.

GIVE US A BREAK______________________!

A.Men| 5.14.11 @ 9:25AM

Chest-thumping Obama trying to get re-elected 2012. Panetta killed Osama and killed Obama's chance to get re-elected.

Teaghan| 5.13.11 @ 8:05AM

The timing of it all is so suspect. Birth certificate and UBL all in the same week? Coincedence? Me thinks not.

canuckistani| 5.13.11 @ 3:27PM

Hmmm, like other coincidences like "Mission Accomplished" or Kosovo or the October Surprise defusing a political situation?

Teaghan, 1000 words on this by 5pm.....ready set go!

benny havens| 5.13.11 @ 8:17AM

Illegal Immigration Reform.

Remove all US military from Europe, Japan, Korea, Iraq and Afghanistan. Place 60,000 troops at 100’ intervals from Texas to California. No need for alligators in the mote.

Sean| 5.13.11 @ 9:46AM

Maybe the Pentagon can invite Awlaki to lunch again.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories.....8200.shtml

Dai Alanye| 5.13.11 @ 10:58AM

Homnick has the right of it, I'm sure, but I'd still like to know why Pakistan chose now to give the OK. They've had bin Laden under their wing since Tora-Bora, and we've known of his whereabouts for some time. What is special about NOW that they've decided to dump him?

Margie| 5.13.11 @ 11:48AM

Did Pakistan have to give an "ok"? I'm asking, I don't know.
Did they "decide to dump him", or was it our intelligence work and years of planning bring it about?
I have read that Obama knew where he was for a very long time but that he decided to do it now and as to why I say it's for re election purposes.
The ultimate Coup d'éta.

JP| 5.13.11 @ 11:54AM

The official word out of the WH is that Pakistan knew nothing of the operation. It was all hush-hush. That was why we used the 160th SOAR's stealth helicopters to transport the SEAL team (of course, one those PAVE LOW choppers are now on thier way to China).

JP| 5.13.11 @ 11:52AM

I don't think the Pakistanis were in cahoots as far as the timing goes. That would give them huge leverage over the President. All they would need to do is leak specific info to specific newspapers and all heck would break out. As many commentators stressed, the President had to go through with the strike at the earliest possible moment; otherwise, the political backlash would ruin his career and reputation. And if it turned out that he was using the assault strictly for re-election purposes, impeachment wouldn't be out of the question. Nope. I don't buy off on that conspiracy.

However, it is tempting. Since OBLs assasination, the President has been in pure high-five, relection mode. I cannot remember any sitting President in my lifetime using such an occaison to strut his stuff.

Margie| 5.13.11 @ 12:23PM

"And if it turned out that he was using the assault strictly for re-election purposes, impeachment wouldn't be out of the question."

LOL. AS IF anyone would even dare to suggest it.

canuckistani| 5.13.11 @ 3:24PM

"I cannot remember any sitting President in my lifetime using such an occaison to strut his stuff."

you must have amnesia.

Aircraft Carrier.....jet....president.....ring any bells? Anything?
Must be the heroin in the coffee again.

A.Men | 5.14.11 @ 9:29AM

Jealous much? President Bush looked very handsome and courageous in his flight suit on the Aircraft carrier. Very mucho and very cool! Remember Bush is a pilot! And the leader of the most powerful nation on Earth --- the United States of America! Pres. Bush bowed to no one.

the refudiator| 5.14.11 @ 12:15PM

I hope he doesn't have to do time for authorizing torture. He probably better stay stateside.

Margie| 5.14.11 @ 12:28PM

Yeah, right. Didn't Panetta get fired for going on t.v. and saying that they used water boarding with regard to Osama? Hmmm?

A. C. Santore| 5.13.11 @ 11:57AM

On the other hand, we might have done them a huge disservice as the survivor of the two will make it to the top of the hit list.

Ramage| 5.14.11 @ 3:39PM

AC Santore, I am not in complete disagreement. But I am not sure the #2,3,4 & 5 guys in AQ/Worldwide IslamoJihad are exactly quaking in their boots or dusty sandals.

When it takes us 9.5 years to finally do something to Osama, well there are lots of malcontents in the world who will choose those odds.

Some of them will gamble to say that the whole Middle East can be in full turmoil once Israel attacks the Iran nuke facilities or once China sucessfully invades and takes over Taiwan. Then the Great Satan will -- with the ill discipline/lack of focus & purpose of a Riddlin child -- be distracted and placing "assets" & focus elsewhere.

They'll take their chances; they aren't that cowed by us.

jie| 5.15.11 @ 3:12AM

For the perfect fit the ugg boots Lomita features a comfortable and slim ankle strap with a shiny curved buckle and metallic eyelets for adjustable styling, and for added shine amidst the textured leather upper sits an engraved stud featuring the signature ugg australia branding

RCV| 5.15.11 @ 5:00PM

If Obama had wanted to use the Bin Laden capture for maximum political effect, he would have run it last November when it could have affected the midterm elections. He didn’t, and waited until the operation was ready. Your attempts to belittle the accomplishment and your refusal to simply celebrate its success with the rest of America highlights not only your political pettiness, but contrasts the President’s steady hand with the leaderless, floundering GOP.
The strongest GOP candidates, Christie and Huckabee, can already read the handwriting on the wall and are staying as far away from the fray as possible. If the GOP was smart, it would run a ticket like Cain-Rubio or Palin-Bachmann and at least turn the inevitable loss into an historic milestone of some sort.