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Ben Stein's Diary
Staying Alive
A super Saturday in Washington.
Saturday
Here I am in Washington, D.C. I came up here yesterday from
Orlando. I spoke there yesterday morning at a truly lovely hotel
called The Peabody. Huge, but well tended. I had probably the
kindest, most thoughtful room service waiter I have ever had. He
was a tall man named Jason. He innocently asked me how I was, and I
went off like a tornado. I told him I was in agony because my dog
is so old and frail. He was sympathetic and listened patiently as I
whined. Really, this poor guy just delivering my toast and orange
juice was accosted by the lunatic ancient mariner whimpering about
his dog and he took it well, even kindly.
That was nothing though compared with the kindness I was shown in the Dallas Fort Worth airport by my pal Tracey from American Airlines. She wheeled me all around on her golf cart, talked to me about our son, and generally was a super pal. Both American and United treat me excellently, but Tracey (Tracy?) at American in DFW is the ultimate. I have a mad crush on her.
Then, off after my speech in Orlando, to the airport and a flight to DCA, asleep the whole way, out like a light.
My great driver, Bob Noah, met me at DCA with popcorn and lots of smiles. Bob, my pal Russ Ferguson, his GF Claire, and I had dinner at Morton’s. Then I went home to watch a great movie about The Bridge at Remagen, on the Military Channel, about the battle to seize the only intact bridge the Allies could find over the Rhine, then a documentary I have probably seen ten times about the Battle of Britain. Wow, that was the last war we won decisively….and that was largely because we had such great allies in Russia and Britain.
We really owe the Russians a lot for their incredible sacrifice and heroism in World War II. Their losses were breathtaking and we got most of the benefit. We should have a statue to the Russian “Frontovik” in Lafayette Square.
Today, I slept very late. Then I met my old pal David S. Paglin, a super funny, super smart guy, and we went for a brief trip to the National Gallery of Art. I met a staggeringly beautiful young woman from Cologne, Germany. She seemed terrified of me, but she was gorgeous. She probably wondered why this old Jew was talking to her. BECAUSE YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND WE’RE IN AN ART GALLERY, FRAULEIN.
Then, a trip with David to the Starbucks at George Washington University. We met many students. My fave was a tall black man with an interesting hat with thick coils of hair on it. “That’s quite a hat you have there,” I said.
“It’s not a hat,” he said. “It’s my hair. If I didn’t have it in dreads, it would be below my knees.”
“Really? Are you making that up?” I asked him.
“Really,” he said.
“Okay,” I said. “Great.”
“You’re that commentator guy on TV, right?” He asked me. “King of the Commentators. Ben Stein. Right?”
“Right. What’s your name?” I asked him.
“I call myself ‘Boom Chickaboom,’” he said without a smile.
Oh, boy.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (51) | Leave a comment
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Alan Brooks| 4.19.11 @ 6:47AM
"Chickaboom, Chickaboom, don't you just love it,
Chickaboom, Chickaboom, Boom, Boom, Boom.
That's about sex, you know.
Tomas| 4.19.11 @ 6:45PM
And gay was about being happy.....
Things change.
Thanks, Ben, for sharing your love of life. Your writing is an oasis in the midst of our global turmoil.
-
NHLibertarian| 4.19.11 @ 6:49AM
Mr. Stein should take a refresher course in WWII history. I recommend he read No Greater Ally by Kenneth K. Koskodan - to learn about Russia's behavior as an ally. The ally referred to in the book is Poland not Communist Russia, and Russia inflicted an enormous amount of terror and grief on the countries allied against Germany.
Alan Brooks| 4.19.11 @ 6:49AM
...like when he sings about the 'chick' dropping her bikini in public-- not very conservative
Alan Brooks| 4.19.11 @ 7:16AM
"Russia inflicted an enormous amount of terror and grief on the countries allied against Germany."
Is that you, Mike Lorrey? what about what Hitler's allies did to Russia- nothing Russia could do to Hitler's allies could compare to what they did to Russia. Nor can Versailles treaty compare to Brest Litovsk,
The more I read libertarian comments, the more I dislike them. And Lorrey thinks the state has the right to conscript in war!
John | 4.19.11 @ 7:39AM
The figure 26 million is often given as the number of fatalities the Soviet Union suffered in WWII. How many of those millions were killed by the Soviets? Approximately 1 million Soviets fought for the Nazis in WWII. They, and other Soviet policies (penal battalions), contributed to the high casualty rate. Al, Libertarian is referring to countries allied against Hitler.
Alan Brooks| 4.19.11 @ 6:41PM
Don't mind me, incoherent babbling is what I do best,sometimes I just need to lash out, it's so lonely here in the basement when mom isn't home and the guy who lives in the van doesn't come around.
Alan Brooks| 4.20.11 @ 9:59AM
I'm in the basement with you, Clint. So romantic down here.
FastJohnny| 4.19.11 @ 8:13AM
"We really owe the Russians a lot for their incredible sacrifice and heroism in World War II. Their losses were breathtaking and we got most of the benefit. We should have a statue to the Russian "Frontovik" in Lafayette Square."
Oh yes and let's not forget the sacrfice they made while starting a war of aggression against Finland for their own land grab. Let us not forget the German-Soviet non aggression pact that allowed Germany to spread like a disease across Europe. Stalin was such a philanthropist wasn't he. He consorted with Hitler to protect his flank while he went about his own aggressive and oppressive policies. Russia played with fire and got burned, patriotism and sacrifice were not in the cards until after Stalin coined the 'Mother Russia' thing. Russia consorted with Germany and paid the price. So, what about the number of people dead that Stalin is responsible for? Artificially created famine, purges, gulags and just plain old land grabbing in Europe. Such sacrifice.
Occam's Tool| 4.19.11 @ 1:22PM
Consideringthat the Russians signed a peace treaty with Hitler that allowed WWII to start, I'm not sure how much we owethem. Without the Russians, we would have been forced to nuke Germany. But we would have won in the end, oh yes. The Russians lost more people than any other country in WWII. But their form of government was as monstrous as the one they fought. And they caused the damn war in the first place!
By the way, Ben, you're also full of it on tax cuts.
The Big E| 4.19.11 @ 8:20AM
Ben,
Its a shame that some folks got up too early this morning to get your humor. (That's right folks - HUMOR).
I get it though - assuming of course, that I didn't get up so early that I'm laughing at something that's supposed to be serious.
By the way, I too, love "Bridge at Remagen." Great movie. One of my all-time favorite WWII movies.
Louis Jenkins| 4.19.11 @ 8:27AM
Wow!! I read this thinking there was political commentary on the block. I got up, yawn, went down town, yawn, got some ice cream, yawn, met a man named Chick a BoomBoom, ... About the only thing that got my interest up was about the Russians, and the battle for Britian.
Denver Todd| 4.19.11 @ 8:47AM
Ben,
Would your life be so beautiful if you did something just average, with an average person by your side?
A. James van Hine| 4.19.11 @ 9:13PM
How much more average can you get? Dinner with friends, conversation with airline employees and students, admiring a beautiful woman and venting to a hotel employee all seem fairly normal to me. Along with sharing time with collegues and like minded professionals, all of this purdy much wraps up a day in my average life of an American. Different people with different interests. By the way, I miss my dog whom I haven't seen in over 6 months. Maybe I'll have the opportunity to cross paths with Ben, Chickaboom or tracey on my way home from the overseas contingency operation.
OLDRAY| 4.19.11 @ 9:04AM
WW2 was complicated. The Soviet regime was stupid and evil ,but I was very glad they fought so herorically and destroyed so many German divisions. I recall our company capturing RUSSIAN troops (working for the Germans) in northern Italy near the end of the war. They were asiatics. The company soldier (Lee Fong) herded tthe six of them in ( proding with the tip of his bayoneted rifle and cursing in chinese, very indignant because they were trying to relate to him in their language). The Germans utilized many units of non Germans on other fronts.
Bill| 4.19.11 @ 4:41PM
I agree: in war, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. We can wait to deal with the fallout of that until after the war.
Alan Brooks| 4.20.11 @ 10:02AM
they were called HIWIs, Oldray.
Granny Jan | 4.19.11 @ 9:36AM
You just have to meet me. I'm beautiful and smart. I make clever videos on the Obamas on You Tube. I'm even m.o.t. I'd love to hob knob with you as my only real experiences are virtual ones. Call me.
Joe D.| 4.19.11 @ 9:59AM
Ben, why don't you take your little messages and go home. Anyone dumb enough to join the other side and blame the Bush tax cuts for our current problems needs to go home and retire.
Dee See| 4.19.11 @ 10:00AM
There really is nothing left to say.
Things are not going to improve. They cannot
be 'fixed' and they are scheduled to get much, much, much worse.
ONCE AGAIN
-DEFAULT on the BOGUS derivatives debt
(1.4 quadrillion)
-DEFAULT on all our debts to our taxpayer
funded creation 'the Chinese Miracle'
-ABSOLUTE dismantling of the Federal Reserve
and ALLLLLL the capstone EUGENICS driven,
tax free, ultra-rich foundations.
-MUCH, MUCH, MUCH warm and unflinching
attention to the legacy of the above with appropriate legal measures
-EXIT and defund the U.N.
-Make the wilful and deliberate 'tainting' of any food, meds, air or water for the purpose of 'social engineering' (dumb down, sterilization) or lethal EUGENICS a capital crime of the highest
order. NO exceptions.
-RETROACTIVE IMPEACHMENT of our last
4 globalist front set-up administrations and
subsequent nullification of whole rafts of their
illegal 'agreements'.
Pecos Pete| 4.19.11 @ 10:15AM
Dear Ben,
Thanks for your view of the good life. As a well known commentator it would be helpful if you would explain to the rest of us how we are to enjoy the pleasant world you inhabit.
When there is no more good life in the USA, will you keep writing to us from your wonderful life in Costa Rica, or maybe Paraguay.
Jason the Waiter| 4.19.11 @ 10:25AM
Dear Mr. Stein,
I remember your visit and am flattered that you mentioned me in one of your articles.
Thank you for the generous tip.
Your friend,
Jason
Alan Brooks| 4.19.11 @ 10:26AM
Ben will send each of us a one-way ticket to Antarctica
buckeyeman| 4.19.11 @ 11:24AM
I wish I could get back the time I wasted reading this vapid drivel
db| 4.20.11 @ 9:23AM
Hey buckeyeman, Louis Jenkins,and your ilk: Don't be dissin' my man Ben.
Don't you get it? Ben's articles are delightful, inconsequential scattershooting. It's a diary. It's personal. It's a wonderful mix of fluff, commentary, and airline reviews, Idahoe stories, his lovely parents at the Watergate, the economy, it's doggie stories, it's a column from a friendly dude telling us what he's up to lately. I've been diggin' my Ben for 2 decades.
So just chill a little and just go with it.....
Otter| 4.19.11 @ 12:30PM
"That was nothing though compared with the kindness I was shown in the Dallas Fort Worth airport by my pal Tracey from American Airlines. She wheeled me all around on her golf cart, talked to me about OUR son, and generally was a super pal."
Did you mean she talked to you about your son, or hers - or was it just a freudian slip given your crush on her?!
DANSHANTEAL| 4.19.11 @ 12:59PM
YOU MADE MY DAY. THANKS.
Wally| 4.19.11 @ 2:07PM
God Bless Ben Stein.
David T| 4.19.11 @ 2:27PM
Ben--I fear too much rich food is clogging the arteries to your brain.
Sugar, BABY!| 4.19.11 @ 2:55PM
The name of this piece, Staying Alive, has induced me to gift whoever chances to reads this comment with a link to a NYT's article about sugar, that basically proves that eating this substance is akin to NOT Staying Alive---
All you fatsos out there, enjoy, and change your dietary act, if you wish--
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04......html?_r=2
Emily| 4.19.11 @ 4:26PM
Ah that view of the Potomac! Enjoyed reading about your adventures. Can't resist mentioning Life and Fate by Vasily Grossman because of the discussion of Russia in WWII. A great and nuanced novel. The Russians were great fighters in spite of their political leadership.
Bill| 4.19.11 @ 4:45PM
Life and Fate, good book. It has the essay on Treblinka in it.
I also strongly recommend Bloodlands, a recent history of the shenanigans of the Third Reich and Stalinist USSR in Poland, Byelorussia, Ukraine, and Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania. It's very enlightening to the reader who isn't very familiar with what happened in Eastern Europe in the 1930s and 1940s.
Bill| 4.19.11 @ 4:47PM
Oops, the Treblinka essay is in The Road, not in Life and Fate.
Bill Hussein O'Stalin| 4.19.11 @ 4:47PM
Ben is on Fox right now claiming that Obama can't lose.
Sheesh!
beebop| 4.20.11 @ 5:41AM
I wory that he might just be right. They will have had a full four years to perfect what they did on the road when they fixed the caucuses and the complicit media will merely nod like those dashboard dogs you see ... I pray to God that he is wrong, but absent a trumplike vigor and a palin like anger attached to a seriously charismatic conservative? Seriously? The MSM just loves to watch a train wreck knowing the reams of coverage it will engender.
Tina B| 4.19.11 @ 7:10PM
Martin Cruz Smith (Gorky Park) writes some seriously great mystery novels set in "modern" , and I use that term loosely, Russia, and involving Arkady Renko, a wonderful cynical detective. I feel I understand Russian life through Cruz Smith's eyes and pen.
Kingofthenet| 4.19.11 @ 9:49PM
Maybe the German women was trying to figure out how to stuff Dear 'ol Ben in an oven?
Leveut| 4.19.11 @ 11:58PM
Babbling Ben. God, I love him like an idiot brother.
Bill| 4.20.11 @ 9:21AM
"Chickaboom chickaboom don't you just know it
Chickaboom chickaboom don't YOU just know it
Chickaboom chickaboom don't you just know it
Chickaboom, chickaboom boom boom."
Deathless.
charles wick| 5.1.11 @ 4:46PM
You are not whining to be concerned for your elderly dog. I hope all goes well for you and your fine pooch.I know you will get a break and she will be better.
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weddingdresses | 6.27.11 @ 5:00AM
Babbling Ben. God, I love him like an idiot brother.
Creative Recreation | 8.10.11 @ 10:08PM
is good