-
The Seventeen Year Itch
May 15, 2013 | 6 comments
-
Questions
May 1, 2013 | 50 comments
-
Stifling Our Children
April 15, 2013 | 39 comments
-
Thoughts on Gay Marriage
March 27, 2013 | 96 comments
-
Baseball Saints and Sinners
March 13, 2013 | 13 comments
Sports Arena
American Mastery
A good cookout spoiled, last Sunday.
I’m not the most ardent or knowledgeable golf fan in the world, but my husband is. And so it was that he and his friends were in the unenviable position of watching the last round of the Masters with me. I say unenviable, because it is a proven impossibility that I can sit still for more than five minutes without offering wholly unsolicited opinions on almost anything. So, while my husband grilled up his terrific rib-eye steaks, I dished out my take on the Masters.
Now, I’m not a total golf illiterate; I’ve actually played alongside my husband when he’s needed a fourth for a tournament — you know, the ‘best ball’ kind where you don’t really have to do anything but take up space — and the quaint customs and rules like the honor system are right up this conservative’s alley. And I have for years enjoyed certain televised tournaments, chiefly the British Open and the Ryder Cup.
It’s easy to see why Americans love the Open. Although the English and Scottish links courses have little in common with our manicured marvels, all duffers enjoy seeing their professional counterparts suffer the slings and arrows of the Road Hole at the Old Course at St. Andrews and the cold cruelty of Carnoustie, where Frenchman Jean Van de Velde played perhaps the worst 72nd hole in major golfing history.
And then there’s the Ryder Cup; that biennial clash between us and them. Of course the Ryder Cup originally pitted U.S. players against those from Great Britain, but due to American dominance, it was expanded to include golfers from the rest of Europe as well. Being a conservative, and therefore a closed-minded xenophobe, I love the chance to root for zillionaires who debase themselves every two years for mere pride of country. Of all the memories I have of 9/11 and its immediate aftermath, I must admit that one of the oddest is a bitter regret that the 2001 Ryder Cup was postponed for a year; especially after the fun at Brookline in 1999.
But, dare I say it? TV coverage of the Masters drives me crazy in many ways. First and foremost is the theme song. Although I’ve heard it countless times, I’ve yet to recognize any semblance of a melody to it. A little research reveals that it is called “Augusta” and was written by Dave Loggins of “Please Come to Boston” fame, which might explain why it so gets on my nerves.
Then there’s the fervent desire of CBS to make every winner the subject of heart-warming or heart-wrenching background stories, as well as the reverent whispering of booth-bound commentators who are not even near the action but feel duty-bound to maintain hushed tones. This group usually includes the uber-obligatory British commentator, who must grace every American tournament to elucidate the finer points for us, despite the fact that we’ve been playing the game here for hundreds of years.
But despite the coverage, I really do love the Masters, or rather, the masterminds behind it: the august members of the Augusta National Golf Club. The greatest Masters moment for me? Was it Jack in ‘86 or Crenshaw in ‘95? No, it was Hootie Johnson in ‘02 who, when confronted by feminist Martha Burk, refused to knuckle under to protest threats, basically telling Martha and the gals to take a dip in Rae’s Creek. The situation was made even more delicious as the NY Times ran nearly three times as many pieces (102) about the protest than the number of actual protesters who showed up at Augusta (40). Ultimately, Burk and her Times cohorts ended up granting all golf fans their ultimate fantasy: a commercial-free telecast for two years!
Much was made during this year’s Masters about the domination of foreign players and some saw this as a good thing. But that’s where my xenophobia kicked in. It seemed like every bite of my rib-eye brought more Australian colors to the leader board, making for quite a nasty case of flag envy. So maybe it’s time to take action, just like the Brits did in 1979 when they enlisted their European brethren to level the Ryder Cup playing field. I don’t know, maybe Hootie and the boys can devise a test for prospective entrants; if they can’t identify the grits at the annual Masters Prayer Breakfast, send ‘em packing!
Letter to the Editor View all comments (29) | Leave a comment
More Articles by Lisa Fabrizio
More Articles From Sports Arena
http://spectator.org/archives/2011/04/13/american-mastery
Follow us:
ADVERTISEMENT
The Spectacle Blog
The #FreeKate Narrative Melts Down: Lies Exposed in Florida Teen Sex Case
Robert Stacy McCain | 5.25.13
SPONSORED LINKS
FLASHBACK TO: 1995
-
Pope Culture
A man of faith in a godless age is hitting Americans where it hurts.
-
Why the GOP Does Not, Like, Totally Suck
Mr. and Mrs. American Spectator Reader, let P.J. O’Rourke talk sense to your kids.
-
Dames at Sea
-
In the Absence of Guns
In Britain, defending your property can get you life.
-
The Metaphysical Martini
-
Counting the Costs of Clintonism
The debacle of this president’s administration is both a cause and a symptom of the decline of American values. Unless Congress impeaches him, that decline will go on unchecked. An eminent jurist surveys the damage and assesses the chances for the recovery of our culture.
-
Chuck McHagel
It won’t take long for conservatives to scratch this presidential wannabe off their 2008 scorecard.
-
The Legacy of Old John and Mother Fresh-Roasted
-
It’s the Best Time of the Year
The American Christmas, like the songs that celebrate it, makes room for everybody under the rainbow. Is that why so many people seem to be hostile to it?
-
The Bush Crack-Up
Was the President done in by the economy, or by the politics of the economy?
Clip of the Day
H/T to National Review Online
ADVERTISEMENT
Craig K | 4.13.11 @ 7:48AM
I don't usually read articles about the Masters that are written from a female point of view and are so humorous. Great piece!
Elaine Luiz| 4.13.11 @ 9:10AM
I'm an avid golfer, but I also believe in American exceptionalism. I was pulling for Bo Van Pelt, who let his country down-lol. Was hoping for a Cinderella story of a Zach Johnson or Larry Mize..
Steve A| 4.13.11 @ 9:16AM
Nicely done Lisa. I enjoyed this article. Your perspective is fresh.
Cabar1| 4.13.11 @ 9:21AM
The presenters shut up because the crowd becomes quiet on a putt and the viewer becomes focused on the green as well. Nick Faldo is not an obligatory Brit,but a rather accomplished former Masters competitor who makes insightful commentary. The makeup of the field is attributable to a qualification system that obviously you do not understand,with the best golfers in the world being invited according to their prowess from the previous year. Rather smart blokes they are and probably know more about grits than you would imagine. Those furriners know more about the USA than we do about their home countries,and the 20011 winner lives in a rented house in Florida.You may know how to hit a ball,but you do not know much about the game.
squalis| 4.13.11 @ 9:48AM
2 words you might want to look up: sarcasm, droll.
Steve A| 4.13.11 @ 10:25AM
Cabar1, Lisa may not know much about the game but you know less about crritical analysis. The fact that she (admittedly) does not have your obvious expert experience, is the entire point of the piece. Moron.
JimP| 4.13.11 @ 9:34AM
Good column, Lisa. I watched the final round and it was actually exciting. Something that is uncommon when watching golf on tv. One thing that bugged me was the dissing of Tiger Woods' final round. I didn't catch who said it, but a comment was made to the effect that Woods had lost his skills and had a poor final round. All the other guys who shot 67 on Sunday had great rounds, but a 67 for Woods is utter failure it seems. It's over Tiger, retire, give it up, head for the broadcast booth, you loser./s LOL Everyone's a critic when you are or were at the top.
canuckistani| 4.13.11 @ 10:33AM
I think it is the first time in many years that all four golfing majors are held by foreigners.
The reality is that golf is a world game, top talent often schools in the US due to our strong NCAA programs and have upped the funding of junior programs at home.
Watching the Ryder cup over the last 25 years - when it finally became competitive - has seen the euros look loose, relaxed and genuinely enjoying themselves. The yanks have tightened up, with our players incessantly prodded to perform. I fault NBC for it's horrendous coverage, with the likes of Miller and the team turning the contest into some kind of test of honor for these men. The truth is the US are not good underdogs - and Brookline showed we are not gracious ones either.
The oxygen-sucking sound created when Tiger misses a putt or sprays it into the woods is tiring and long past its duedate for commentators to move on. He did have a strong final round, but his sour-faced interview after the round only reinforced people's views that he is a jerk and needs a vacation. Rory McIlroy, the young man that imploded on the back nine, and with every reason to sulk, he didn't, took questions and answered them with sincerity and depth far beyond his years and without that stink of baloney that so many sports stars imbue their analyses of subpar performances. Mickelson was classic for denying a deflecting obvious failings, but he has matured and actually become quite endearing at the mic. It doesn't matter if it's sincere, he's a professional, and now acts like one.
Tiger is a punk, just like Stewart in Nascar, A-Rod in MLB, James in NBA and Schumacher in F1. All superstars, but complete turn-offs with their attitudes about sport and their responsibilities to the fans that pay the freight.
I am an avid player and a watcher of PGA golf for years. Tiger and other sourpusses like Montgomerie, Johnny Miller and even Nicklaus before them have this way of sucking the fun out of the game. It is players and stories like McIlroy, Schwartzel and even Bubba Watson's that keep the interest there and the enjoyment of the game enduring.
Of the ten men at or near the lead on Sunday, all except Tiger had a compelling story to tell.
JimP| 4.13.11 @ 10:44AM
LOL. My goodness. Talk about sour attitudes. You obviously read too much into my comment, BECAUSE you dislike Woods. Please note I referenced his score, not his character or my like or dislike of him as a person/golfer/role model or whatever. I saw the end of round interview and I thought the questioning was stupid/inane/cliched. I thought the comment about Woods being washed up was typical of the kind of dumb hypercritical BS too many announcers make that detract from sports events, IMO. Maybe he was reacting to the stupid questions and not just being a "punk", or maybe he was really angry at not putting well on the back nine and not coming in subpar for those nine holes and leaving himself in a position of letting others decide his fate. He was sour. So what? It was an honest moment instead of the "phony" good guy Tiger who had you fooled for all those years. Who cares? Get over it.
canuckistani| 4.13.11 @ 12:57PM
I like Tiger's game, power and finesse, but his impact on the "game" has been a quandary for US golf observers to fully understand.
Immense skills, but nothing in the man to obviously cling to - it was similar to Nicklaus' experience in the 70's. Perhaps stratospheric stars are like that.
Commentators have been reprimanded, scolded, even fired for suggesting chinks in Woods' armor. That's not his fault, but the over-sensitive media that latched onto his horsecart in 96, and the fans who protect this veil.
Purses have gone up exponentially during Woods' career, and his moth to light fan attraction has built the game up over the world.
But as a long time fan of golf, the era "BT" before Tiger and "AT" after Tiger will likely be the new benchmark for generations to come.
With tourn purses exceeding $8M, the separation between fan and player will sadly only widen.
Stormzeye| 4.13.11 @ 1:28PM
There's no question that Tiger is an ungrateful punk who has all the skills necessary to win, except for one: he lacks character. Character counts in golf more than any team sport. An individual's lack of it can't be covered over by the performance of other team mates. Tiger knows that he's been exposed and no one exposed him more than Rory McIlroy. Rory's post tournament interview is one every athlete should study for its courage and unblinking acknowledgement of his inability to "get it done". I loved it when he said that he hoped it would strengthen his character. Tiger never could given an interview like he did if he had collapsed as Rory did. Tiger would have stormed off the course in a flurry of F-bombs after tossing a few clubs.
kiwikit| 4.14.11 @ 2:24PM
I can only concur on the inane questions. Why do you want to win? Why is your hair brown? The shows are so much better when one fastforwards over these stupid interviews.
Steve A| 4.13.11 @ 11:17AM
canuckistani, Well said. I completely agree with your take on Tiger. I thought the exact same thing after his brief jackass interview on 18 after the round. Yes, he left a few out there, yes, he was dissapointed as he knew the # was going to be at least 12, but the FU flavor of his curt responses dis it for me. The guy has absolutely no class. Simple as that.
I will say that it is always more interesting to watch when he is in the mix though. As for McIlroy, what a stud. This guy is only 21 & his ability to immediately put his meltdown in context on such a stage & handle it with grace was simply extraordinary. I am looking forward to a final pairing in a future major where he demolishes Woods.
russel| 4.13.11 @ 11:56AM
I don't dislike Woods anymore or less than anyone else . Those who enjoy the game can marvel at competence , not skin color . VJ Singh is a good golfer , but Johnny Miller prob does not have an alter in his living room , as he obviously has for Woods . The media coverage on Woods is slobbering , they practically cover him exclusively . A ridiculuos spectre and a real turn-off to those who like the game -- and ALL who participate .
Steve A| 4.13.11 @ 12:27PM
I don't know russel. I would rather watch Tiger shoot 75 than Bo Van Pelt shoot 67.
Butch | 4.13.11 @ 2:41PM
My newlywed wife and I were part of a very small gallery following Jack Nicklaus around the Colonial in 1969. It's not his type of course and he was well out of it that day.
He was a great guy. He turned it into a golf lesson for his small gallery. He laughed, joked, and asked us questions. No one was excluded. My wife became his ardent fan and rooted for him in all the major tournaments. He sure wasn't a sourpuss that day.
R. Gruel| 4.13.11 @ 9:50AM
Hootie Johnson's moment was my favorite as well. CBS needs someone like Johnny Miller
mames| 4.13.11 @ 10:16AM
Faldo like Venturi is insightful and surprisingly kind because he knows what it is like to be in the arena, to have "folded" and come back. Jim Nantz though, whew, that sanctimonious, cliche middle age crisis gotta leave my wife for a younger woman schmuck gets on my last nerve. He has a way of turning the great traditions of the game into schmaltzy, saccharine, self important, false modesty, tripe.
I do like the soft quiet presentation except for Nantz and I agree the music could be varied to reflect the same tone using say, Scottish or Irish tunes or even some classical.
BTW, this was one of the most interesting Masters of all time. The challengers were comprised of so much new young talent the likes of which remind me of the Nicklaus, Palmer, Player, Watson days. Winning a tournament with that group of competitors is an even greater accomplishment than just beating Tiger. I hope he never wins again by the way. He is such a disgusting narcissist.
AND I also wish those guys would shave and trim their darn hair. Many of them look like they just jumped out of bed and hit the course. Maybe after they grow up a little? :)
John| 4.13.11 @ 10:16AM
Nice story. Watching the Masters leaderboard I felt as though I was watching a European tour event. They can play so let them. The EU momentum has been building. For some fifteen years we Americans were looking for those US golfers in their 20's with a game. With the exception of Woods we never found them. Now that they are in their 30's we know they still can't play. They get that first big check and as A. Kim said after his first win, "I want the toys". Maybe stey spend to much time on their boats. There is a new crop of twenty something American players that have an exciting game, guys like Watney, Watson, D. Johnson and some others. They will bring the US back!
mames| 4.13.11 @ 11:39AM
Set the purse to so that there is little reward past 5th place. That will change everything.
mames| 4.13.11 @ 11:45AM
The game is truly international at this point and it is great to see. KJ was particularly sharp and carries himself with great dignity and grace. BTW many of these folks move to American as fast as they can. Many seem to settle in FL.
NaturalBorn Texican| 4.13.11 @ 11:06AM
Great analysis canuckistani!
I agree with you all the way!!!!!!
play nice| 4.13.11 @ 1:25PM
BTW, Who is that butt-head at every tournament who yells "you the man" or "in the hole" when ever a ball is struck?
deetsie| 4.13.11 @ 1:43PM
So glad that someone shares my disdain for Jim Nantz. He can turn a hangnail into a life threatening disorder. He is so maudlin toward the players and groveling toward the sponsors. Nick Faldo usually greets his comments with utter silence or maybe he is just trying to stop himself from spewing.
PCP Smoker| 4.13.11 @ 8:51PM
What's wrong with CBS' coverage? What's wrong with Jim Nantz? The hushed tones came from the on the field reporters. WTF?
The tourney was great. Old Tiger was back, Rory melted, the Aussie duo played their hearts out, and the win went to Sudafrikan on the 50th anniversary of Gary Player's Masters win. What's not to love?
Here is some advise. Your man needs a mancave and you need to stay in the kitchen, except when you are bringing him a beer.
Jeff| 4.14.11 @ 10:51AM
Great column. I named my dog Hootie in honor of Hootie Johnson & Martha (Hootie) Burk, which was her childhood name. The juxtapostion was too great to ignore.
Anyway, Ms. Fabrizio gets it. Now, if only she could grill a ribeye.
kiwikit| 4.14.11 @ 2:29PM
I couldn't agree more about Nantz. . . seems to be fixated on his own voice as if we're interested in hearing it. Anyway for him to begone? Faldo is terrific and I like Miller, too.
The Hawk| 4.14.11 @ 3:59PM
A South African from what used to be called the Transvaal won and two Queenslanders tied for second. My father was born and raised in Queensland, my mother in the Transvaal and I in what was called Rhodesia. As a naturalized American, I am now retired and living in a log cabin in the western hills of North Carolina. All Southern Africans know exactly what grits is (are?). "Sadza" is a staple for the Bantu people of those countries much as rice is in many Asian countries. So, sorry, I'm sure Charl, whose father I knew when I lived in the Transvaal 40 years ago, will be back to defend!
Creative Recreation | 8.10.11 @ 10:24PM
is good