The American Spectator : No Strings Attached

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No Strings Attached

By James Bowman on 2.16.11 @ 6:03AM

Yet another Hollywood attempt to bring the good old rom-com up to date.

One line which people are likely to remember from the otherwise pretty forgettable No Strings Attached, directed by Ivan Reitman from a screenplay by Elizabeth Meriwether, is spoken by the disgruntled roommate of Emma (Natalie Portman) as the latter is engaged in one of her frequent bouts of noisy copulation with Adam (Ashton Kutcher), an old acquaintance. Adam, unsurprisingly, has readily agreed to Emma's proposal that they should remain "sex friends" only, avoiding all emotional entanglements, but of course we know from the beginning how this is going to work out for them -- as you, too, will know it even without having seen the movie. But this takes nothing away from the comic snap of the roommate's line, which is delivered in the form of a complaint: "I can't focus on my porn with all this sex going on around me!"

What may take away from it among the more thoughtful sort of movie-goers is this: in our culture today it is becoming increasingly difficult to tell the difference between porn and "sex," which is just one of the difficulties under which this movie labors. Shortly after Adam and Emma have sealed their deal for no-strings-attached sex, Adam notices a stranger walking his dog who has just seen the two of them parting. For some reason, Adam thinks he needs to explain their relationship to the dog-walker. "We're sex friends," he says. "Friends who have sex."

"That's not possible," says the man, and walks out of the picture.

Ha ha. Wasn't there a "Seinfeld" episode about that? The stranger, in giving voice to the current wisdom on such a fascinating subject is merely telling us that this is that kind of movie (the fall-in-love kind) and not, however much it may seem so, this kind of movie (the friends-with-benefits kind). Surprise! In other words, it turns out the way every friends-with-benefits movie since the late Peter Yates's John and Mary (1969) turns out. Yet we know that we are still dealing with recognized categories of feeling that come under the heading of what in the sixties we used to call "experimentation" -- as in, "He experimented with drugs." To my admittedly jaded ear, the amount of comedy to be milked from watching this supposedly new and unconventional arrangement as it concludes in the warm embrace of an even older convention is pretty limited.

But "sex" has its conventions just as love does, and its own ideology based on them. The word "sex" itself, in the sense that the roommate uses it, is of relatively recent vintage. "Having sex" to our great-grandparents was something that everyone did at birth, since it referred to a taxonomic classification characteristic of most living things above the microscopic level and not the act by which they reproduced themselves. The newer meaning of the word -- "now the most common general sense" -- dates to H.G. Wells's Love & Mr. Lewisham of 1900, according to the O.E.D. and was given a new impetus by D.H. Lawrence a few years later, but the word came into use gradually as it gradually became possible to speak of what would formerly have been considered the obscene notion of sex divorced from its then-normal social context of marriage.

This stripping away of context in the form of long-established and painstakingly constructed social and moral customs was a necessary prelude, then, to both "sex" and porn -- which, though the thing itself had been around for centuries, had been literally unspeakable, at least in English, since the word "pornography" only antedates the new sense of "sex" by about half a century. Now it has assumed a central place in our culture. A week or so after No Strings Attached was released, New York magazine published a cover story by Davy Rothbart on "Porn and the Vanishing Male Libido" which suggested that porn was actually replacing sex for a lot of men who enjoy the luxury of being able to choose between them. On the newsstands at the same time was Natasha Vargas-Cooper's cover of the Atlantic with its startling revelation that the latest fashions in internet porn can be summed up as "amateur hour" -- so much so, indeed, that professionally produced pornography has to emulate the production values associated with cell-phone cameras in order to remain salable to connoisseurs in search of authentic-looking images of "sex." That porn has gone mainstream is yesterday's news. Today porn and mainstream sex are two aspects of the same phenomenon.

Perhaps that's why movies like No Strings Attached are drawn to reinvent the long lost social context of sex, or something that can stand in for it. Not surprisingly, this reinvention is conceived along feminist lines. It is the young woman in this case who has made the necessary separation between the emotional and the physical which used to be thought characteristic of men. She is the one insisting on keeping the relationship strictly physical, while the young man (necessarily) finds himself "falling in love" with her and so unable to keep the relationship going without an emotional connection. The result may be the same, but it's important that they get to it by a different route from that prescribed by custom, both in life and the movies -- a route that finds its way around the "stereotypes" of male and female behavior. I think this is meant to make it seem fresh and original.

The plot of one of the funniest episodes of HBO's very funny series, "Flight of the Conchords," has its two clueless Kiwis picking up a couple of girls and Bret, the better looking of the two, adopting the female role of reluctant seductee vis à vis Lisa (Eliza Coupe), who accordingly takes on that of the sexually predatory male. Naturally, that means that she swiftly loses interest once she has had her wicked way with him, and he is devastated to overhear her bragging to her girlfriends about how easy he was. As with men in drag, the outlandishness of such role-reversals is necessary to the humor because it reminds us of the unnaturalness, the preposterousness of what we are seeing. No Strings, by contrast, depends on making the unnaturalness of Emma's divorce of sex from feeling look natural. Why shouldn't she behave just like a man? Are you saying there's anything wrong with that?

Well, yes, as a matter of fact. There's a lot wrong with it. It's wrong when men do it too, but the fact that men in real life do it so much more often than women is a truth which will not be ignored, however much we may pretend for ideological reasons that the sexes differ in no significant ways. The cultural legitimization of both "sex" and "porn" happened in the 1960s and has ever since made the characteristic masculine moral failing the default position for both sexes -- as if any protest on behalf of the virtues once thought characteristic of womankind, modesty and sexual continence, were tantamount to a return to the bad old days when women are now thought to have been virtually enslaved to men. Thus in No Strings, when Emma's friend Shira (Mindy Kaling) says, "We're sluts, Emma! We're dirty, dirty sluts!" it is with a note of triumph in her voice, as much as to say: We're modern women now, no longer hidebound by the oppressive conventions of the past. Breaking with convention has become more important for her than the relationships the break prevents her from forming.

Yet No Strings Attached is also a movie about generational relationships and differences and this almost but not quite adds another and more interesting dimension to the film. Both of the main characters are embarrassed by their parents, who are children of the sixties and still (apparently) as sexually adventurous as they were in the days of experimentation. Adam's father Alvin (Kevin Kline) is "dating" -- curious how the euphemism survives the liberation -- his, Adam's, ex-girlfriend Vanessa (Ophelia Lovibond), while Emma's mother Sandra (Talia Balsam) is dating a drugged-out hippie called "Bones" (Brian H. Dierker) who doesn't speak but, says mom, gives her great sex: "That's why they call him Bones."

As with the comedy of a pretended truancy from a convention that has been dead for 40 years, so the comedy of too-much-information here is only a feint. The embarrassment leads nowhere, just as it does in the allusion to menstruation in the punning title and the song, "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis, that becomes the movie's theme song. In the end, the embarrassed children only learn that their lusty parental units were right all along and that, as Alvin tells Adam, "the worst thing you can do in life is to say no to love." Of course, it sounds better that way than it does if you substitute -- which is what Alvin really intends -- "sex" for "love." But that's all part of the movie's more general pretense that there is an easy compromise or modus vivendi between the ethos of the sexual revolution and traditional romantic comedy. I, for one, remain unpersuaded.

About the Author

James Bowman, our movie and culture critic, is a resident scholar at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. He is the author of Honor: A History and Media Madness: The Corruption of Our Political Culture, both published by Encounter Books.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (26) | Leave a comment

Appleby| 2.16.11 @ 6:53AM

Basically this movie is trash -- it is a lot of 8 year olds *experimenting* with dirty words as a way to make themselves sound to each other like daring teenagers (which have replaced the former term Adults to the current generation).

The whole tiresome Poo Poo Head riff reminds me of my first roommate at Bible College, a quiet Baptist girl whose next sister was 42 years old and whose mother had not explained the Facts of Life to her. In those days and in that mileau the *panty raid* was still in vogue although they never succeeded, as our Freshman girls dorm was sealed and guarded by dragons. One evening we were giggling about another foiled attempt when Leah confessed, *I wouldnt know what to do if one of them got in here* and a more knowledgeable girl giggled, *HE would!* On finding out that Leah really did not know -- someone went to her room and got her a book, which she took into the washroom and stayed about 2 hours.

This was in 1966, mind you, and there were still things nice girl did not discuss. These days it seems there are no nice girls and the girls cannot discuss anything else.

RT| 2.16.11 @ 7:17AM

The movie sounds foul. I read that when women resort to acting slutty it is to protect their caloused heart that has been hurt in the past. As a form of emotional protection they substitute sex for love thereby protecting (or so they believe) their heart from additional pain. I read that in the book "When God Writes Your Love Story", by Eric & Leslie Ludy

True North| 2.16.11 @ 8:30AM

Another aspect of the morphing of traditional roles between the "sexes" is the genre of women as super warriors. I recently watched the movie Salt that stars a woman who weighs maybe 100 lbs. Through-out the movie, she one-punches all sorts from men (more than twice her size) from the military and security forces into la-la land. Yet, she can take a full, face-on punch from a 200 lbs male; shake her head, spit her teeth out and carry on a conversation. Belies physics.

Too Many Tims| 2.16.11 @ 10:42AM

That bugs me too.

GW| 2.16.11 @ 11:41AM

My friend and I have a term for that, the "ass-kicking" woman. It's commonplace in action movies. "Pirates of the Carribean" had Natalie Portman, Jennifer Garner made a living doing it on "Alias" and Angelina Jolie/Lara Croft/Salt/Mrs. Smith/The tourist is practically type-cast.

scythe| 2.16.11 @ 9:04AM

The "movie" is just another version of the left pushing its "socialist reality" . God, everything they do anymore is soooo borrrring. It's propaganda disguised as entertainment.

Dave| 2.16.11 @ 9:15AM

Last night, one of our local stations replayed that classic Betty Davis movie -- All About Eve. Certainly the dialogue was a dated due to the time and style of film making back in the day, but when viewed through the long term lens -- it was still a timeless, classic ... with performances from actors and actresses with style, romance and (that thing lost in today's garbage pit called Hollywood) ... CLASS.

Ashton Kutcher as Kelso was perfect. He was a high school boob played perfectly. *In Kutcher's case - I'd call it type casting. Perfect.

(*see: Punked)

So what do we have here: No Strings Attached vs All About Eve. Gone With The Wind?

tick-tick-tick ...

(uuh) Lemmie get back to you. I gotta' go restring my fly swatter.

Flee| 2.16.11 @ 4:02PM

I saw part of All About Eve too probably on the same channel. I never saw it before but knew it won many awards. Just the few scenes I saw proved once again what good writing and actors can do for a film. Unfortunately there is too little of it to go around these days.

Wes in MT| 2.16.11 @ 9:32AM

At some point, for our nation to find its way again, we must see the resurrection(so to speak) of the virtue of chastity and that love and sex should go together. Maybe it's just me not wanting my children to be soiled and cheapened by the "hook up" culture, but as I found out in my life, the best physical intimacy is found whe it is an expression of a committed love between a man and a woman.
Not to hi -jack the thread, but I think that is one of the reasons the left so rabidly hates the Palins is that their relationship has lasted and appears to be built on mutual repect and love - and the fact that they appear to have it all - and they are just common folk, so its not fair.

Appleby| 2.16.11 @ 9:40AM

Essentially the Lefties hate the Palins for the same reason that the Arabs in Gaza hate the Israelis -- because the latter took something the former said was impossible AND ACCOMPLISHED IT.

Petronius| 2.16.11 @ 11:08AM

Maintaining relationships is "work". That's a 4 letter word under the heading, "obligation". That is a thing "modern" fornicators do not want and claim not to need. Should that expectation remain constant, the day will come when they wish they didn't have any.

Bill| 2.16.11 @ 12:08PM

I haven't seen this movie (and certainly won't in the future), but I notice it's one of at least two movies treating sexual relationships at the high-school level. The second move is even more straightforward about its moral immaturity; the name of the movie is Hall Pass. As I understand the previews, the principal male character gets a "hall pass" from his marriage via his wife in order to indulge some sexual fantasy.

FakeEagle| 2.16.11 @ 12:21PM

I'm with True North. I stopped watching the new "Hawaii Five-O" after seeing the first episode, in which the 90 lb hottie didn't mind dropping the dress for the bad guy, but then kicked the butt of every buffed-out, karate-kicking male for 3 blocks. Please....

Bill| 2.16.11 @ 12:31PM

Another observation: Mr. Bowman's observation that movies of this type reflect a feminine sensibility is at the same a sad commentary of feminine consciousness and a clarion call for the return of masculine notions of propriety.

PolishKnight| 2.16.11 @ 12:42PM

Indeed Bill, this is a mainstream feminist fantasy that they can still play hard-to-get with the captain of the football team. Hmm, this thinking probably is at the root of feminism altogether. They can "have it all" and all the choices they want (which isn't really a 'choice' so much as just getting everything most anyone would want) while men should get all the responsibilities.

Nothing new to see here. There even was a bestselling book sold to seemingly traditional and feminist women alike: The Rules. It teaches women to make demands of men and give them little in return because that's what men "like." It would be a book telling young men that the way to land a Playboy Playmate is to be lazy and sloppy because hot women love cleaning up after lazy, sloppy, broke young men.

Occam's Tool| 2.16.11 @ 5:03PM

Depending upon her psychiatric imperfections, the answer is possibly yes. Now, the Playboy Playmate of the Year I was friends with when I lived in SoCal seemed to have a nice boyfriend, but I saw plenty of georgeous women at Jerry's Deli on Saturday night who walked in with Trogs.

Occam's Tool| 2.16.11 @ 5:03PM

Sorry, "gorgeous women." My mistake,

Peppermint Tea| 2.16.11 @ 1:29PM

Tina Turner asked, "What's love got to do with it?"

The answer, of course, is "Everything!"

Big Jim| 2.16.11 @ 3:28PM

I'm on board with True North & Fake Eagle. I have 2 daughters in college and they don't much care for "girls w/ guns" or "girls w/ fists" movies either. I suspect that nobody much cares for that crap except goofy feminists. Most just tune those parts out. I can't, so I refuse to watch those productions and spend my time & money on something other than feminist fantasy.

Larry| 2.17.11 @ 8:47AM

I rarely patronize Hollywood crap anymore. Crap being a euphamism for most of the dreck that they turn out. I'm more than happy to stay home and watch my black and whites on DVD.

Gene Charles| 2.17.11 @ 12:54PM

Natalie Portman porn will obviously sell tickets. She has two porn titles out right now. One feature of both Black Swan and this opus is some level of pornographic titilation. Not to say that great "art" is always devoid of sexual content. The sexual attractiveness of Botticelli's Venus and Michalangelo's David cannot be denied and for some that may be enough. It is interesting that reviews of movies such as this come off like the profile of the playmate of the month. They often ignore the obvious.

On the combat deal. An ex state trooper and I (235lb. linebacker type) wandered into a kick boxing class at the health club. There was an entire class of 110-125 lb. females acting as if they were in a fist fight. A good work out, but we both came away with the creepy feeling that these young women might think that this nonsense actually would work in a real world physical confrontation. My advice, forget all this nonsense and run girls run.

Gene Charles

Bill| 2.17.11 @ 2:11PM

Just to add to that "women treating kick boxing as preparation for some sort of fight," I once dealt with a woman who offered to beat the crap out of me as part of a negotiation package. Needless to say, that deal fell through.

Women don't understand the masculine appreciation of the well-known masculine saying, "A good big man can beat a good little man any time." They think life is Thelma and Louise.

posan| 3.13.11 @ 3:22PM

I Love when No String Attached in a relation, well this situation make no one will hurts when something happen but this is kind of not responsible manners and this is bad for the young

Jessicamiller| 7.26.11 @ 8:33PM

I was not a fan of this movie! I am currently a student in college and I have never understood this whole FWB idea. As a devout Catholic (I have never missed a single day of Church since I can remember) I can never condone nor understand this irresponsible behavior. I went on a few dates with this one guy from my class only to later find out that he does online dating on the side (Sites such as those on http://www.onlinedatingsites.net/ in order to get more notches on his belt. How messed up! Needless to say, that was the last time we spoke. I hope the rest of society would wake up and realize how destructive their behavior is in the long run!