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The Current Crisis
Hits to the Head
Football announcers talk too much. They need to be fined and replaced.
WASHINGTON — The other night while watching the Super Bowl, I became increasingly aware that the Angry Left might have a point about the Giant Corporations. Not that the game was not exciting. It was. Those quarterbacks can really heave the ball. Suddenly it is in their hands and suddenly it is in a receiver’s outreached arms, having passed through a forest of opposing players’ arms. Both teams were composed of players who apparently were made of rubber. They hurled themselves at each other and occasionally at the hard turf and simply bounced. Occasionally they did not. Sometimes they were injured, occasionally rather badly. But for the most part they seemed amazingly resilient. It was a hell of a battle, and doubtless the better team won, but I cheered for both teams. They were great.
Had I only to watch the game I would have been happy, though even happier had I lowered the volume of the inane commentary. Possibly the networks have an agreement to hire garrulous, loud, excessively male, commenters who have very little to say but say it repetitiously. Unfortunately, it hardly adds to the excitement of the game. Rather it adds to the confusion of the programming, and there was a great deal of confusion Sunday night. For whole stretches I sat there stupefied by the confusion, most of it provided by the ads and by the garrulous commentators. Not much can be done about the ads that seem to get stupider and more incoherent every year, but something can be done about these excessively virile loudmouths.
I suggest the networks at least for really big games like the Super Bowl hire George Will and a very polite lady commentator with very little to say. I have in mind Kathleen Parker, the soi-disant conservative columnist and TV personality. She is not a conservative so there would be no reason for claiming the couple lacked balance, and she does not have much to say on politics so why would she be long-winded on football? She would be polite and relatively inaudible, perfect.
George would arrive at the microphone with all the facts and figures already in his head (if he follows football like he follows baseball he already does have the facts and figures in his head). He would speak in perfect sentences, employing model grammar, and he would have the good taste to let the game — for the most part — speak for itself. When George filed a witticism or some other off-the-wall comment, Parker could give a little, exasperated, “Oh, Geeeoorge!” and subside.
It would all be very civilized. What is more, it might get Parker off her present CNN assignment with that loutish rastaquouère Eliot Spitzer. He is a cad and he is bound to eventually drag her in to one of his awaiting scandals.
Yet doubtless you are wondering about the Angry Left’s point about the Giant Corporations. What precisely did they say about the Giant Corporations that I found fetching. Well, they invariably complain, among other things, about the Corporations’ advertising. They say that it gets consumers to buy madly, particularly the young and the stupid, just the people who can ill afford to buy junk food, beer, and Audis or maybe BMWs and Mercedes-Benzes. Well, there is not much compelling evidence to support the Angry Left’s complaints as you might guess, but let us show our magnanimous side. Let us say that the Angry Left is right to complain about the Giant Corporations’ ads on the Super Bowl even if they got the details wrong. The ads are atrocious.
They are nonsensical. They are incoherent. They are fantastical. They are violent. They are humorless. Their sexual content is for adolescents. And I cannot often tell what they are selling. In fact the night of the Super Bowl I could rarely tell where one ad ended and another began. They all seemed to run together, though they did favor monsters of a reptilian sort over humans so maybe they were aimed at extra-terrestrial creatures or people who drink too much.
At any rate they too distracted from the game. Possibly next year I shall use the mute button more, but how will I keep the visuals from sight? It is a real problem.
About the Author
R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. is the founder and editor in chief of The American Spectator. He is the author of The Death of Liberalism, published by Thomas Nelson Inc. His previous books include the New York Times bestseller Boy Clinton: the Political Biography; The Impeachment of William Jefferson Clinton; The Liberal Crack-Up; The Conservative Crack-Up; Public Nuisances; The Future that Doesn’t Work: Social Democracy’s Failure in Britain; Madame Hillary: The Dark Road to the White House; The Clinton Crack-Up; and After the Hangover: The Conservatives’ Road to Recovery.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (93) | Leave a comment
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Bill Hussein O'Stalin| 2.10.11 @ 6:24AM
The first thing that struck me as I read your comments was that the volume or mute buttons on most remotes are very handy.
Secondly, I never leave the sound on when watching the game. There are too many stupid distracting comments from too many people, and now women are being promoted as sports announcers. Most of them look nervous or make questionable statements.
This year in the NFL saw the pink controversy which indicates the NFL is "reaching out" to diversity. Almost every company doing that is headed for trouble and usually finds it.
In the offing, there are more than enough graphics to let one know what is going on.
Enjoy what you have now, most things get worse, and it's only a question of time before the NFL, the last male bastion in the sport's world, will have women on the team in some manner.
beebop| 2.10.11 @ 4:50PM
I picture you with hair on your knuckles.
I have had male friends who don't have a clue about sports terms -- say, over and back in basketball -- are an embarrassment when taken to a public venue. Women? Those of us who don't know normally keep it to themselves for fear that they are seated near someone as intolerant as you appear to be.
Bill Hussein O'Stalin| 2.11.11 @ 5:36AM
Might I point out that you are intolerant to my supposed intolerance? Secondly, please tell me how women sports announcers have succeed and improved the brand. I'd like to hear that. If you can't tell me then I am not intolerant. You are simply stupid.
missbosslady| 2.11.11 @ 12:02PM
Bill,
A lady to your rescue. I too find most of the female football sportscasters to be superfluous and nothing more than a sop to feminists.
I am a huge football fan and find most of the sportscasters, male and female, to be barely tolerable (except for Jon Gruden I could listen to him all day!) Definitely a case of the less said, the better.
Just because I am a woman does not mean I need to see women in football. I have no problem leaving the sport to the men.
Also, I'm begging someone to please, please talk to Troy Aikman. I love Troy, but if he's going to continue working in the booth can someone please help him with his grammer!!!
Troy, honey, the player is not better than 'what' he was last year, he's better than he was last year - no WHAT! A thousand times a game he uses 'than what', it simply drives me crazy!
Terry Harper| 2.13.11 @ 7:54PM
Troy is from Henrietta, OK, and went to Oklahoma before UCLA. He also quarterbacked OU to a loss to the University of Kansas so what do you expect?
Brian Mc| 2.10.11 @ 6:55AM
With NASCAR dumbing down the vanilla cars, all for the sake of 'safety' and the "everyone gets a trophy" mentality slowly permeating our culture, can the NFL be that far behind? I once looked forward to the Daytona 500 each year but each subsequent year's offering seems to lack something, chipping away at the term, spectacular. Like our government, there seems to be a whole lotta regulatin' goin' on...and things just aren't quite as 'spectacular' as they once were. I have yet to wear a bicycle helmet.
skip| 2.10.11 @ 6:49PM
Is the fact that I'd rather wipeout and suffer brain damage than wear one of those ridiculous looking helmets a sign that I have brain damage? Those helmets would have not helped at all during some of the over-the-handlebar face plants on asphalt I've done anyways.
D| 2.10.11 @ 7:13AM
Mr. Tyrell forgot to mention the pre-game and halftime shows, which together surely represented 60 totally wasted minutes of one's life.
DWiP| 2.10.11 @ 7:22AM
I do not watch the hype for the two weeks before the Super Bowl, I only watch the game on game day avoiding the half time and usually mute the announcers.
Mattled| 2.10.11 @ 7:26AM
I agree. The announcers, especially ESPN college football feel they have to say everything handed to them about every player after EVERY play. I noticed only SNF restrains themselves somewhat focusing on the game and less on the players.
MNF?
Sucks. As the 80's rap song said: You talk too much, you never shut up.....
JimP| 2.10.11 @ 7:56AM
I definitely agree regarding Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. Buck is very critical and negative of players typically and sounds like he was a Hall of Fame player himself. Aikman seems influenced by Buck's arrogance and negativity and goes along. Aikman is not nearly as negative when teamed with Buck, but still mostly "inane". I do like the MNF tema though of Terrico, Gruden and "Jaws".
As for Peggy Noonan: No, please no. She'd start describing the play in one of her airy fairy soliloquies and we'd all wretch.
Ryan| 2.10.11 @ 9:16AM
Aikman I like - he's intelligent about the game and does good color.
Buck...eh. No. Too understated.
My favorites by FAR are Gus Johnson and Chris Collinsworth.
skip| 2.10.11 @ 12:54PM
Gruden?
That NFL shill was a suckup the likes of which have never been seen in the broadcast booth.
"That huddle was 'outstanding'."
"That player was flagged for a penalty, but he was just 'outstanding'."
"I've never seen a player run off the field like that. 'Outstanding'."
And Jaws, normally tolerable, became unbearable under Gruden's influence.
Some team needs to hire Gruden and get him out of the booth.
That would be outstanding.
scotchieguy| 2.12.11 @ 4:02PM
I like Aikman and Buck. I think Aikman is insightful, Buck is kind of a snob, but they work well together. One thing--am I they only one to notice this? Every time they show the two talking, with clock-like precision, when Aikman is talking, Buck watches him for about 4 seconds, and then looks out at his TV audience for 2 seconds, then back to Aikman---4 more seconds, then to the TV viewers...Funny stuff. The two I detest are Nance and Simms on CBS--they are simply insufferable for the opposite reasons one might expect. They are boring beyond belief. Nance works well doing the Masters, but football he puts me to sleep. But everytime Simms talks, he talks in his Texas twang, "That's raght, Jem, them gahs are tough as heck. Now, watch the blocking, Jem, straight up ahead fast. Not much tahm on the clock, Jem, coach needs to take a tahm-out. Speaking of tahm, Jem, a pretty fast game, if you want mah opinion, pretty nass tempo."
JimP| 2.10.11 @ 7:58AM
I definitely agree regarding Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. Buck is very critical and negative of players typically and sounds like he was a Hall of Fame player himself. Aikman seems influenced by Buck's arrogance and negativity and goes along. Aikman is not nearly as negative when teamed with other announcers, but is still mostly "inane". I do like the MNF team though of Terrico, Gruden and "Jaws".
As for Peggy Noonan: No, please no. She'd start describing the play in one of her airy fairy 'soliloquies' and we'd all wretch.
Ken (Old Texican)| 2.10.11 @ 8:11AM
Emmett,
It's like I observed to my wife re commercials. Heh, I suppose we just aren't in the targeted demographic.
Evidently neither are you. (lucky person)
FakeEagle| 2.10.11 @ 8:17AM
Got a DVD collection?
Bob K.| 2.10.11 @ 8:20AM
Really?
They talk too much and need to be replaced?
I wonder if the same reasoning applies to the writings of the bloggers and writers who appear on the A.S. website? And to the ads that clutter the page.
Ed | 2.10.11 @ 8:36AM
What if every game had a Secondary Audio Program (SAP) option, where we heard only the same sounds as those folks sitting in the stadium or ball park? Instead, I have to mute to avoid hearing one more moronic announcer tell us so-and-so "brought his A-game and came to play....." ad nauseum.
canuckistani| 2.10.11 @ 11:56AM
Great idea....but the No Fun League would find a way to charge for it......
LarryK| 2.10.11 @ 8:45AM
To the Puppy Bowl!
I watched sans volume. Bring back Madden!
scotchieguy| 2.12.11 @ 4:05PM
They don't need to. They could throw Caliendo in there and no one would even notice.
R Martin| 2.10.11 @ 8:49AM
Rastaquouère? Is whatever drives opinion writers to twist their pens around obscure and unpronounceable words much different from what drives announcers to be excessively verbose? I would have let this little foible pass had Mr. Tyrrell not suggested anything about sports could be improved by the addition of more women.
coal carrier| 2.10.11 @ 8:49AM
Rothlesburger breaks the huddle and walks up to the line. He reaches under the center. Joe Buck says, “ Rothlesburger has not been sacked by the Green Bay defense so far”. The ball is snapped and Rothlesburger is immediately sacked. I thought to myself, “I’ll bet some Pittsburgh fan is now screaming at the TV “will you announcers just shut the Hell up!””
Dagny Taggert| 2.10.11 @ 11:11AM
Yes, I can confirm. He jinxes my Yankees when he does the World Series as well. On the other hand, his (and society's in general) ignorance of the concept of 'mean-reversion' constantly provides money-making opportunities for those of us who pay attention.
As far as the ads--I thought they were entertaining. Only because as a Steelers fan, the time away from the play on the field in such a big game is interminable. The stepped-up quality of the SB ads (and the relative lack repitition vs. regular-season games) pass the time between nail-biting action.
Anthony| 2.10.11 @ 1:00PM
Dagny, ALL of the national sports media attempt their bias against the Yankees, which is why headphones are an essential piece of equipment during playoff and World Series time.
John Sterling's and Susan Waldman's soothing voices make the nationally televised games tolerable.
Of course, one waits with anticipation for the Yankees' post game show on YES. Ah.... home at last.
MikeBee| 2.10.11 @ 9:08AM
The problem, as I saw it, is that no one is calling the game. Joe Buck's job is to call the game, while Troy Aikman's job is to provide commentary, filling in gaps where there is no action. The problem starts with Joe Buck. He doesn't call the game; he calls the stats. A running back will find a hole up Right Guard, and run for 8 yards before the safety tackles him. Old play-by-play announcers would call the action, describing what happened (even though we could see the action). Joe Buck remains silent until the play is over, then says, "Second down!" Because of Buck's calling the stats instead of calling the action, both Buck and Aikman feel obligated to fill the void with something else. When you try to fill the void for that long, you end up speaking nonsense, which is what happens.
Old play-by-play announcers called the action, because they started their careers in radio, where they HAD to describe the action to the listeners, or else everyone would be lost. Today's announcers do not call the action, especially Joe Buck, who is notorious for this. They just call the stats, making for a very boring game, and for a lot of inane color commentary to fill the gaps. Joe Buck should be fired; he's particularly bad at calling baseball games.
Totally agree with the sentiments above on the commercials. Most were pretty bad, with the exception of the beaver commercial. After most of the commercials, I turned to my wife and said, "What were they selling?"
dsayne| 2.10.11 @ 11:47AM
Years ago many of my elders had the habbit of turning down the sound on the TV and listening to the play by play on radio, especially baseball games. Not only were the play by play announcers better, but so was the color guy. Some of my friends still do this. Sometimes I mute the TV and listen to some good rock music instead.
WilliamInWien| 2.10.11 @ 12:28PM
Amen to that! Radio announcers supplement their "voice only" presentations with vivid descriptions. Muted TV with radio coverage I learned from my father-in-law. The TV coverage crews should be forced to listen to their commentary after the game. Since when is a game with two minutes left on the clock described as "plenty of time"? And, I do not need four ex-players/coaches to tell me what I just witnessed!
MikeBee| 2.10.11 @ 12:59PM
William,
I think every TV announcer should be forced to begin his career in radio, so that he can bring some real skills to TV announcing. If he's no good at radio, he'll certainly be no good at TV.
Rick| 2.10.11 @ 7:08PM
Unfortunately, with digital TV now, the radio is about ten seconds ahead of the television. I tried doing the radio thing, but hearing the end of the play before seeing the beginning of the play is a total drag.
MikeBee| 2.11.11 @ 10:20AM
Rick,
You're right! This can be very frustrating. What we need, to resolve the whole mess, is a TIVO for radio. That way, we could "delay" the radio broadcast by about 10 seconds, making the radio and TV match.
scotchieguy| 2.12.11 @ 4:09PM
I refuse to watch the ads. I literally feel dumber and insulted after watching them. The Doritos ad last year was the worse, where the little brat slapped his mom's date, and said, "you keep your hands off my mama, and you keep your hands off my Doritos." Worst ad I have ever seen.
emsfan| 2.10.11 @ 9:10AM
There ought to be a law against having three announcers in the booth. It sounds as if they get paid by the word count!
JmsA| 2.10.11 @ 9:14AM
Hank Stram, Tom Brookshire, and Frank Gifford were very good; Aikman and the Buck, not nearly so good. Moreover, Buck is but a shadow of his father as far as Baseball is concerned, and Aikman is so overwrought, particularly against the Cowboys, he struggles to be objective.
donserge| 2.10.11 @ 9:41AM
Aikman believes the game is about his commentary which is why it could be said in one quarter to one third the time.
Anthony| 2.10.11 @ 9:44AM
Bob, To heck with the Super Bowl. I would have gladly traded the Super Bowl for your three hour C- Span2 interview, which I plan to see again.
The interview was delightful, insightful, and a joy to watch. I especially loved the story of you sending boy Clinton back to his table, like a chastised school boy.
Like a good father, you never let the rogue get too close to your daughter, for which I suspect she is still grateful.
Anyway, you have a lovely home and that yellow vest of yours was a natty touch.
Thanks. Now back to the Super Bowl.
mames| 2.10.11 @ 10:26AM
Lets face it there is almost nothing to say. 'Bunch of perennially juvenile jocks playing a quasi socialist government enhanced game ( can you say bread and games?). Turn off the sound or better yet skip it all together I have for all 45 years and never missed a thing. I love golf and I NEVER listen to those drones either.
canuckistani| 2.10.11 @ 11:59AM
....agreed...especially when Tiger was failing, you'd think the announcers were having a wake for him on every missed putt....all the while another golfer may be having the game of his life....
Ken (Old Texican)| 2.10.11 @ 10:39AM
Ah Mames,
quit being a crochety ole' sour-puss. (grin)
(that's my job)
Steve A| 2.10.11 @ 10:49AM
I will live with the commentary during the game, movie, whatever, its the commercials that kill me. Suddenly, the volume increases 3 X to some idiot telling me about how he can now get it up again after all these years or about his weak stream etc.
Here is a business proposal for somebody smarter than me out there. Invent a device that I can attach to my TV that automatically MUTES any commercial interruption & then resumes normal volume when the main program comes on. Perhaps this device already exists. If not, I would be your first customer & I pay well.
Bob Grant| 2.10.11 @ 2:46PM
I have a device that switches the sound to one of my choice when it detects a commercial which usually means an upward spike in sound volume.
If I choose, it can also switch to a video game, movie, PC, or any other media I'm involved with.
This is something I've rigged but you can find similar products online.
Steve A| 2.10.11 @ 3:03PM
Thanks Bob. Will check it out.
TURK| 2.10.11 @ 10:50AM
RET---Amen in re your C-span piece. Your subtle put downs of the 2 leftist broads were a pleasant interlude to your serious discussion of literature and conservatism. I could have watched 6 hours of it.
Having advanced in years(I saw Dimaggio in a double header with the St Louis Browns; attended the wake for Babe Ruth outside Yankee stadium and watched Cassady save the Buckeyes a drubbing at the hands of Alan Ameche) I have gone downhill in my enthusiasm for sports of all kinds. A classic example of todays sports tripe is being subjected to comments and interviews on the football sidelines by women who never wore that helmet Gerald Ford played without. I could not watch my one last favorite--college football--but for my beloved mute button!!
JayDick| 2.10.11 @ 10:57AM
Many years ago, I watched an NFL game on TV that was an experiment never repeated as far as I can tell. In that game, the announcers were largely silent, saying only things that were not evident on the screen. Sometimes, several plays went by with not a word from the announcers. It was the most enjoyable game I ever watched even though the game itself was rather one-sided as I recall.
Old Guy| 2.10.11 @ 12:26PM
I remember that game. It was great, but one of the motor-mouth announcers - his name happily escapes my memory - pronounced it a miserable failure and that was that. Time for another try?
MoeBlotz| 2.10.11 @ 2:37PM
Before the big merger between NFL and AFL,the Green Bay Packers play by play bloke for CBS was named Ray whose last name escapes me. The gentleman would say," Let me set the defense for you," give the names and positions,then say that he would just let the action speak for itself. If something required clarification,Ray's baritone would chime in. Never verbose and always concise.
pritzl_wis| 2.10.11 @ 10:01PM
I too remember the game without announcers and yearn for more like it.
The announcer for the Packers was Ray Scott.
Mark Shepler| 2.10.11 @ 10:58AM
And can we get Fox to finally retire that stupid, goofy robot doing calisthenics? It was fresh years ago when they introduced it and all the networks were going to glitzy graphic transitions...sorta. But now? It's just dumb, dumb, dumb and all of those stat graphics with the stupid whiz-bang sound effects are annoying to the point I will shut it off. Save the technology for the truly game enhancing effects like the blue scrimmage line, yellow first down line and down/yards-to-go arrows, etc. Those are wonderful additions.
scotchieguy| 2.12.11 @ 4:13PM
Agree. That stupid robot makes me feel like I'm watching the cartoon channel.
GotFreedom| 2.10.11 @ 11:07AM
Not only do they hire announcers "who have very little to say but say it repetitiously", they are also extremely bias towards one team over the other--and this isn't only NFL announcers--MLB announcers are equally as bad!
Wish they would just broadcast the game and let us listen to the natural sounds from the field/stadium--just like actually being at the game! Get rid of the announcers, but keep the cameramen/women--especially the one that swoops in over the field--that's a great perspective and adds so much more to the broadcast than anything the announcers could say!
Actuarius| 2.10.11 @ 11:07AM
The DVR is your friend. Record the game with the thirty minute extension. If you want to eliminate commercials only, let the DVR record about 45 minutes to an hour of the game before you start watching. Use the 30 second button about four or five times when they go to commercials. If commercials and commentary bother you, let the DVR record about an hour and a half before starting. When the ball is downed on a play, hit the thirty second button. It fasts forward to just where the offense is lining up. This works well unless there is a penalty or the offense is in "hurry up." Most of the obnoxious commentary is in that thirty seconds each down.
For games I'm only marginally interested in seeing, I let it get started a couple of hours early and fast forward through fourth downs and the half-time show as well.
In all cases, I end the game about the same time as it ends in real time.
Enjoy.
scotchieguy| 2.12.11 @ 4:15PM
That is EXACTLY what I do. You can watch the entire game in about an hour and a half. The only problem is when your buddy texts you who is watching it in real time--shut the hell up!
stmichrick| 2.10.11 @ 11:11AM
But the Audi/Kenny G commercials were cute; a gentle needle at the white shoe types who might buy an Audi.
Definitely the best work Kenny's EVER done.
Dave | 2.10.11 @ 11:33AM
OK, while we're on the subject, I might as we post my own broadcast gripe:
Aikman, Buck and several others calling, reporting on or doing color analysis during NFL games have a grating tendency (by their coverage and descriptions) that those of us watching are too brain dead to know ... who's actually on the field.
(uuh) Whazatmean? An example:
I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to through my sports mug through the television when Buck, or especially Aikman, are analysing a typical play:
"You know, Joe, when Arron Rogers drops back in the pocket, Arron Rogers is usually looking for his primary receiver. When Arron Rogers finds him, the Green Bay Packers are at an advantage because the Green Bay Packers offensive coach planned for Arron Rogers to hit that open slot and find the uncovered zone. When that happens, Arron Rogers and the Green Bay Packers usually find a way to score."
Geezus!
As I begin to heat up, and reach for that beverage mug - I usually start shouting: I KNOW ARRON ROGERS' FIRST NAME IS ... "ARRON." AND UNLESS THEY'VE MOVED THE FRANCHISE IN THE LAST 6 MINUTES - I'M PRETTY SURE THE PACKERS ARE STILL FROM ... "GREEN BAY." YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP REMINDING ME EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR PIE HOLE. SO "STOP ALREADY." TRY TO REMEMBER -IF I DIDN'T LIKE FOOTBALL, I'D BE WATCHING JUDGE JUDY. AND GET THIS: IT'S A FOOTBALL GAME, NOT A MEDICAL CLASS ON HOW TO REMOVE A KIDNEY IN WHICH INSTRUCTIONAL REPITITION IS CRITICAL. SO, IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH OF A STRETCH -- I KNOW WHAT ROGERS "FIRST NAME" IS FIRST 58 TIMES YOU MENTIONED IT LAST QUARTER - AND UNLESS THEY MOVED TO LOS ANGELES - I THINK THE PACKERS ARE STILL FROM GREEN BAY. I DON'T NEED BOTH ... NAMES PLATES EVERYTIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH! PHLEEEZ!
Wheeo!
A few more expletives toward the TV with Buck and Aikman, a long deep breath and my television is safe for a few Seinfeld reruns later that night. Plus, and the cleaning lady doesn't need to come in and soak up those 12 ounces of soda that might have become sticky in the carpet.
And that's my peeve.
skip| 2.10.11 @ 1:02PM
Ahem, is the first name you know so well, er, perhaps, 'Aaron'?
And, um, the last name you know equally well, 'Rodgers'?
Dave | 2.10.11 @ 5:52PM
Opps, 'ya got me, Skippy. I absolutley blew the spellcheck on the Aaron Rodgers name. Thanks for the reminder. See, I'd kind of forgotten about that 90 pound weasel who used to sit behind me in high school English class. Occasionally on Friday afternoons, just nano seconds after the last class bell of the week went off and we all running for the door, Little Wally would frantically raise his pasty, white hand and yell out ---
"Ohhh, oooo, ohhhh, Mrs. McCanna. You forgot to assign us homework for the weekend."
Is that YOU, Wally? I always wondered what happened to ya'. Apparently nothin's changed. Much!
Hope you're well. Incidentally, did your mom ever buy you a pair of those ... long pants?
skip| 2.10.11 @ 6:34PM
Sorry dude.
I was earning six varsity letters, blowing off the National Honor Society meetings same as my homework assignments while sorting through scholarship offers from schools like MIT, dating cheerleaders from rival high schools, and even having fun on church youth group retreats. And befriending nerds who were abused by douchebags who loudly bitched about knowing all about stuff they can't even spell.
scotchieguy| 2.12.11 @ 4:26PM
Even worse is when they overuse the word "football," along w/ bad grammar. "The National Football league is proud to present...that is the sign of a good football team, Jim. Watch how good he kept the football cradled to him before that devestating hit by Harrison, Jim. He plays good. His football skills are solid, Jim. Clearly, he is the best football player in the National football league, Jim. He throws the football good. Me and him had a great time playing football back in Florida, Jim, he's just a heckuva competitor, and in my opinion a great football player, who holds onto the football probably better than any other football player in the national football league, Jim. He coached good, Jim. He scheemed good. His players responded good, as well. You gotta give the other football players credit, Jim. They played a tough football game, only coughing up the football once, and still one of the best new football teams to emerge in the National football league, Jim."
rcroft| 2.10.11 @ 11:42AM
to jaydick -
I remember that game well. Was many years ago. Think it was the jets and dolphins. You were only supposed to hear what the fans in the seats heard. It was great. Best game I've ever watched, thought no one else remembered it. No announcers, just stats on the screen and the stadium loudspeaker. Fantastically good.
Of course, it was never repeated. The sports media and talking heads had a cow. Oh, it was awful! Just terrible! Never fly! Of course not, too many yakking sportscasters would be canned.
Anyway, was a pleasure to watch. And yes, I watch pro football with the mute on from start to finish.
mdr| 2.10.11 @ 11:50AM
I only read the title/subtitle of this article, and that's all I need to say, AMEN!!!!!!! The saying, "the art of brevity is the soul of wit" is completely lost on sports announcers. The problem is they want the game to still be about them...
Maddox| 2.10.11 @ 12:22PM
Sports announcers are only trying to match their counterparts in the "news" biz. They run PR campaigns for players (often thugs) like Katie (et al) does for politicians (often inexperienced and corrupt). They claim to be unbiased while telling us what to "feel." They ignore injustice on the field much like the lackeys in "journalism" in the real world.
It is all the same, to hold power and profit.
If only they would "shut up and sing."
Len Casanova| 2.10.11 @ 12:27PM
Jaded.
One of the “gains” from a long life of being awake and engaged in sports watching is that “familiarity breeds contempt” invariable wins.
That is, one plus one is two FINALLY becomes boring---how many times must one hear ANY of the drivel spouted from the mouths of announcers, before vomiting?
Ol’ Tim Leary may have been a nutcase, but the latter advice, “tune out”, sure makes SANE sense, concerning sports spectating.
The Chinese value the gem, jade.
Well, getting jaded about sports is THE most precious GEM for most distracted Americans, these opulent days, as the Egyptian revolution hammers home to us that millions of their citizens get by on $2 a day.
I just cancelled cable TV, because I got sick of the endless commercials. And, I refused to buy Tivo, in order to skip them more easily than I’ve long done by hitting the mute or changing channels for a few minutes.
ALL the fare offered has become as boring as listening to sports announcers!
Why, even watching football games has become boring, since as they say, “I’ve seen it all, already”---there’s nothing NEW under the sport’s sun!
Furthermore, if one still has a functioning brain, with at hand memories, sometimes certain then-new and fresh and exciting ones contrast with what’s going on today.
Oh, how well I recall one announcer, Doug Lamear, from the 60’s! In those days, we were lucky to get maybe one football game on TV on Saturday, which hardly ever showed “my” teams.
So, on Sundays, good old Doug would replay the Oregon Ducks and Oregon State Beavers games, with a “Tivo” twist---only the actual action was broadcast. So, the whole game, sans the times when no action was happening, meant the replay only took around half an hour.
I can still picture the old single wing, by the OSU team!
Well, you can imagine how long the real action occurs in a baseball game. BORING!!!
Further---pace the hoary Greek determination that there are only a fixed number of plots, much the same realization has come about concerning movies and TV, especially fictional fare. Why, even biographies bore me, these days!
Never has the KILL YOUR TV temptation been more relevant!
Here’s the lesson, or ONE lesson, anyway---
In real estate investing, the catch phrase is OPM---other people’s money.
That is, use leverage to maximize YOUR gain. We can all see how THAT’S worked out, recently!
So, putting one’s own precious attention, time and hard-earned money, on OTHER people, by supporting sports players, basically is also a foolish waste.
What a dream, America the beautiful!
John Carnal| 2.10.11 @ 1:07PM
If you think football commentary is annoying you should try hearing the sounds from the court over the mindless blather of the tennis match commentators. It's as if the match itself is merely "wallpaper" for the "fascinating" sharing of their life experiences and the life experiences of others they have known.
Ken (Old Texican)| 2.10.11 @ 1:18PM
One final thought,
mute your TV and listen to the homey radio announcers if your area has a team.
Great fun!
skip| 2.10.11 @ 7:38PM
Used to have to decide between watching the Tigers on the tube with the sound off and Ernie Harwell on the radio, or George Kell and Al Kaline who were excellent TV announcers. Man was I spoiled.
Forget George Will and Kathleen Parker, how about a game announced by Ken 'Killer' McCoy and Ernie Zimmerman?
wodiej| 2.10.11 @ 1:27PM
Then don't watch it. It's a bunch of overgrown boys who haven't reached puberty let alone adulthood and get paid far more than they are worth. The lack of decorum, values and just plain decent behavior is appalling (can you say Michael Vick).
When you tune in, you are supporting the advertising. If sports is that important to you to put up w that, then don't complain.
Steve A| 2.10.11 @ 3:06PM
I bet you got cut from the JV team in HS & never got over it.
David Carr| 2.10.11 @ 5:34PM
Okay, this is a tangent, but you mentioned Mr. Vick. What exactly did Vick do that you find appalling? Dog fighting? As a libertarian-leaning Republican, I don't understand why dog fighting is illegal. After all, dogs are private property and disposing of one's private property as one sees fit is a fundamental right. Where is the harm to another from dogfighting that justifies the state outlawing it?
Danny Huckabee| 2.10.11 @ 1:34PM
I quit listening to the games years ago, always muting ths noise. The idea of Mr. Will doing the games is a good one.
Richard Baker| 2.10.11 @ 1:53PM
With all due respect to a favorite writer, if Mr. Tyrrell doesn't like the announcers and millions of us do, then turn down the sound, do your own commentary, or turn off the set. Free enterprise is or is not.
Bob Miller| 2.10.11 @ 1:54PM
We need modern counterparts to the broadcasting team of Marty Glickman & Al DeRogatis.
Angel Artiste | 2.10.11 @ 2:42PM
Of course, the greatest announcers were the MNF team of the Gif, Dandy Don, and Mr. Howard Cosell (the greatest announcer of all time). Most of the games were deadly boring of themselves. You tuned in to hear the clever repartee of the Triumvirate. After all, did you watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 to see the movie?
JP| 2.10.11 @ 2:56PM
I have to disagree with Mr. Tyrell. Announcers aside, I thought the game was very sloppy (poor passing overall; poor play execution, etc..). It was very hard hitting as Tyrell claims; but there is a bit more to the game than contact.
As I said yesterday, there is no shortage of talented players in the NFL (lord knows they've been playing since they could walk). But because of the salary cap and free agency, all teams lack the kind of depth that used to be the norm. No long can a team field an OL filled with All Stars (think of the 1981-87 Redskins, the 1984-88 Bears, or 1992-96 Cowboys). Most Super Bow champs of the not so distant past possessed not only 2 great wide receivers, but an All Pro TE; most champs of the past could put 5 or 6 All Pro Defensive specialists on the filed. And all had depth at key positions (think of the Bill Walsh 49s, Bill Parcell Giants, or even the 1996 Green Bay Packers).
Today, even a team like New England is severely short of talen at key positions. Last Week's Super Bowl only underscored the NFL's problem. There is virtually no difference between a 2-14 and 14-2 team save 3 or 4 positions. And because teams lack depth, injuries play a huge part in a team's success (imagine if the Colts lost one of thier key WRs, or the Saints without Breese).
Capt G| 2.10.11 @ 10:45PM
You're somewhat correct in noting the dilution of talent caused by league expansion, salary caps, and free agency.
You're rather more than incorrect in not noting that Aaron Rodgers completed 24-39 passes for over 300 yards and dismantled the Steeler defense with surgical precision. And your correct conclusion that teams often lack depth over shadows the amazing run of the 2010 Green Bay Packers, in direct refutation of the point. With 15 players on injured reserve, the story of the Packers this year was their ability to insert back up players, with some cast-off's from other teams, and keep on winning. Two games into the season and even Packer fans were anticipating an 8-8 season, if lucky. Instead we saw the validation of Ted Thompson, the best General Manager in the NFL. The real story of the game and the season is how a team overcame those injuries and the structural roster deficiencies, managing to not only integrate and "coach-up" the replacements, but to bring some to a Pro Bowl level, and win the title. As for critical players, the Packers nearly beat the heavily favored Patriots while starting their back-up quarterback.
Your point is better made by reference to the Minnesota Vikings of the last two years.
All that being said, the point is of limited utility since the league made a conscious decision under the commissionership of Pete Rozelle to pursue a parity among teams strategy, the result of which has made football the most popular game in America, at the cost of dynasties.
SF_Exile| 2.10.11 @ 4:22PM
Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth are probably the best on SNF. Good rapport, concise info and you can tell that they both respect what the other brings to the broadcast.
Aikman has actually changed his style over the years. When he began he was much more judicial and thoughtful in his words. I don't know whether this was a conscious change or one imposed on him by the network. I like Joe Buck's voice but he does pile on the snark.
I have tried to do the radio call + TV broadcast but the delay between the two streams gets annoying. Football needs the visual help that TV gives. I like to think I'm a pretty knowledgeable fan but no visual makes the game difficult to follow. Since baseball unfolds more slowly, it lends itself more to radio. But even those announcers are being forced into reading advertising text in between the bursts of play. Once you've heard a chewing gum advert repeated over the course of 9 innings, you're ready to lose it.
@ Dagny: any jinx on the Yankees is a good jinx - at least from the perspective of a Red Sox fan! LOL
Anthony| 2.10.11 @ 4:52PM
SF, I share your thoughts on the delay between radio and TV broadcasts. But it's kinda fun to know what's about to happen a nanosec before it actually happens on TV. Well, sometimes.
But your point about the ubiquitous commercials between pitches and plays is spot on, they do severely detract from the flow of the game and are an annoyance.
With salaries being what they are, it's the price we pay for high paid talent, which by the way, the Red Sox lead the league in this year.
So much for the Yankees buying a pennant. Another urban legend shattered.
mjfin| 2.10.11 @ 5:04PM
Troy Aikman is a Hall of Fame Quarterback who knows what he is talking about. The announcers did a workman-like job. The adds were moderately amusing, but not up to better Superbowl add standards. The Packers need new receivers, but Rogers passing (sorry JP) was world class.
It is clear Emmett is a casual football fan. I do hope he's got this snit out of his system and can resist the urge to comment on football after the next Superbowl.
Michael| 2.10.11 @ 5:36PM
Get a grip, or in other words, quit while you're ahead. Your article is resplendent with the typical stereotypes of radical conservatives, and at the other extreme, the radical liberals. No wonder you can't attract more people to your point of view. It is never a good idea to tell the public to go "eat cake."
Although I generally enjoy the articles on this site, and appreciate their points of view, this particular article has struck a particular and dissonant chord. The American public likes football and sports in general, the Super Bowl ads, and does not appreciate George Will as a baseball announcer no matter how much he knows about the subject. Too much geekiness is not a trait to endear you or anyone else to the vast majority of the American Public.
PCP Smoker| 2.10.11 @ 8:57PM
Agree with the idea of putting KP as a commentator. However, instead of talking just have her show her boobs.
Bee Free| 2.10.11 @ 10:08PM
---AS RED China is handed not just the economy,
but the Panama Canal, bases on the Mexican and
BOTH our coasts ---and as eugenists 'design your
future' ----keep worrying about the MEN IN TIGHTS.
----Just KEEP A GOIN'!
-----------SMART!!!!
Joe Cicalese| 2.10.11 @ 11:23PM
Just curious- did you purposely write a blithering commentary to imitate the blithering announcers?
Not that you're wrong on your assessment....
Capt G| 2.10.11 @ 11:27PM
I call this the Curt Gowdy effect. The Hall of Fame broadcaster was noted for being able to talk a good game to death and was, I think, the genesis of the fan's dual broadcast approach of TV video and radio sound.
Rare is the combination of talent such as Cosell, Meredith, and Gifford. Madden broadcasts had it in the early years, until he became a parody of himself.
The trouble with TV sports broadcasting is in finding something for the broadcasters to say about something that every viewer just watched happen. The best of announcers are able to redirect the viewer's attention back way from a magnificent running back scamper to the subtle holding done by an obscure lineman that made the run possible. Those announcers are rare and are subject to corruption under the pressure to say something, anything, to fill the silence.
Football suffers in that it is a lousy radio sport, unlike baseball, and it is further handicapped by the networks tendency to hire from what Cosell called the "jockocracy".
Left unnoted by RET, and the professionally-sensitive "beebop", is the absence of either team possessing a coterie of glam-queen cheerleaders. A refreshing absence of something properly limited to the college game.
The commercials were, at best, tacky while tending more towards the trashy. A new low in the advertising community's assessment of the American viewer's intelligence. There has been a wide-spread commentary on the Chrysler "Detroit" commercial's merits with the only comment left unremarked; does anyone have the slightest idea of what the Chrysler 200 looks like?
Female announcers on the sideline bring an eye candy aspect to an essentially useless job. For my money, if we're doomed to putting up with them, I'll take Pam Oliver over the likes of Tony Siragusa any day, both on appearance and verbal content.
RET shows a lack of imagination in selecting Will and Parker. The alternative to the minimalist approach such a team would offer is the over-the-top approach that MNF had with Cosell vs Meredith. And for that approach, I can think of no better a team than that of Alan Keyes and Barney Frank. The possibilities therein are, well, limitless.
Larry| 2.11.11 @ 4:53AM
Wow! I learned a new word today: "rastaquouère!"
Now that Bill Buckley is gone, Bob, I can at least always count on you to enhance my vocabulary.
Rowdy Boots| 2.11.11 @ 1:16PM
Dear Emmit,
What in God's name is "excessively male"?
Maybe you need to stop being in touch with your Feminine side...it really is disgusting.
Rowdy Boots
Peter Stanich| 2.11.11 @ 5:36PM
As to commercials:
Yep, aside from 2 commercials, Vader and Transformers, they all sucked( that one was gross!)
Don't get too literary about a Football game.
"It's the game, stupid"
Occam's Tool| 2.14.11 @ 9:01PM
You know, I recently got hold of NFL films on Superbowl I-X. Hearing John Facenda is a lot more fun than watching any current games.
Occam's Tool| 2.14.11 @ 9:05PM
Angel Artiste---sometimes, yeah, you watched the movie too. That's why "Danger, Death Ray," "Danger: Diabolik," and a handful of others are mega entertaining, whereas some of them are just too agonizing even with the boys---most of the Coleman Francis Troika fits into that category. (My wife and I are such fanatics that our daughter's THIRD word was "bobo.")
weddingdress | 7.15.11 @ 5:25AM
Just curious- did you purposely write a blithering commentary to imitate the blithering announcers?
Not that you're wrong on your assessment....
Reebok | 8.11.11 @ 3:56AM
is good
العاب | 4.11.12 @ 4:31PM
If I choose, it can also switch to a video game, movie, PC, or any other media I'm involved with.