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Ben Stein's Diary
Murray State Bliss
Not far from Nashville, a long way from Egypt.
Tuesday
A super day. I awakened at the Hermitage Hotel in downtown
Nashville. It is an old hotel and in perfect repair. Truly a
showplace. Grand lobby with immense chandeliers and bright immense
skylights. There is a roaring fire in the fireplace and comfortable
chairs and couches everywhere.
Last night, when I checked in, I ate a hamburger at the Oak Bar downstairs here. Cheerful, helpful bartender and waitresses. One, Bobbie Marie, showed me pictures of her poodles, which apparently have eyes that are split between a brown top and a blue bottom. Another told me about how her statistics teacher used to tell her that statistics are “…lies, all lies, all made up to make a point.” He was pretty close to the mark. I see studies written up in the newspapers day after day that purport to prove something and almost never do. The gullible reporters write them up anyway.
“Lies, all lies.” Good thing to remember about statistics.
This morning, I got up and got into my car and headed up to Murray, Kentucky, in a fierce freezing rain. Eventually, the rain died down, but it was still terribly cold. I slept and next thing I knew, I was in Murray. It is a charming town of about 28,000 people. My speech is at Murray State University. I was met in front of the Forrest Pogue Library, a simply beautiful building, by the woman in charge of the event, a former high school captain of the cheerleaders and still super beautiful, Jeannie. Wow, is she gorgeous. We had a little tour of the library, then a press conference, then dinner, then my speech.
It all went super well, the way things always do in small Southern or border state towns. The air was bitter cold, with a cruel wind, and as we walked to the auditorium, I thought it would be amazing if anyone showed up. But we had a completely full house, which made me super happy. The audience was lively, pleasant, good natured, got all of my jokes, and I loved them.
I really hated to leave, which I did after a short faculty reception. It was an easy ride back with me sleeping most of the way, and then when I got back to my room, I had a snack of onion puree, then watched the news from Egypt.
It is all bad in Egypt. But Murray, Kentucky, is the Garden of Eden, and Murray State is paradise.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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Robbins Mitchell| 2.3.11 @ 6:23AM
Couldn't agree more..I grew up about 20 miles south of Murray in Paris,TN and went there often as a teenager and a lot of my fellow HS grads from Paris went to college there...great little school and Murray itself is almost as friendly as Paris is...heh
Appleby| 2.3.11 @ 6:35AM
I hope you tweeted this to Egypt; I know it was a great comfort to the people battling tanks and molotov cocktails in the square.
Sarah Baynes| 2.3.11 @ 7:02AM
I can always depend on Ben to lift me up for the day. Thanks. Sarah Baynes
Denver Todd| 2.3.11 @ 8:03AM
What is onion puree?
L. Y. Travers| 2.3.11 @ 12:45PM
Onion Puree (known as O.P on the street) is a new California designer drug, a powerful hallucinigenic that is often fatal when eaten.
Onion puree contains muscimol which produces feelings of euphoria, hallucinations, muscle jerks, drowsiness, sweating, pupil dilation, and increased body temperature. Symptoms appear 30 to 90 minutes after eating this onion concoction and are most intense after two or three hours. People who eat onion puree usually fall into a deep sleep. Some people describe the effects of eating onion puree as similar to being intoxicated by alcohol.
J. Peterson| 2.3.11 @ 12:49PM
Good God Almighty!
Ben Stein is a druggie! This explains his spacey posts.
Ben, you'd better get some help soon. As Travers says, the drug can be fatal. You're risking your life.
Wake up man! Looks like you're on the same destructive, drug-addled road that so many other Hollywood types are taking. I suggest you check into rehab ASAP!
Betty Jean Haggers| 2.3.11 @ 12:52PM
Well I never!
I am speecless. What is this world coming to? Our own Ben STein a drug addict.
I am dropping dead.
Matilda| 2.3.11 @ 3:33PM
Before you drop dead, Betty Jean, be sure to wipe the Cheeto dust off your fat lips.
Hello Kitty| 2.3.11 @ 3:39PM
Hello Kitty is calling for more kindness, more gentleness in our comments on AmSpec.
Matilda, dear, the next time you post, please think of the darling * Hello Kitty* a sweetie and a cutie who always has a kind word for everyone.
Do you think your comment to poor Betty Jean is kind?
Bob White | 2.3.11 @ 8:19AM
This would have been so much more convincing if he had included a photo of Jeannie. ;-)
Coal Miner's Son| 2.3.11 @ 9:02AM
As a displaced Kentuckian, I enjoyed reading this. Thank you, Mr. Stein
Coal Miner's Son| 2.3.11 @ 9:05AM
Statistics are all lies???
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics"---Mark Twain.
And of course you know sixty-four percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Bill| 2.3.11 @ 9:10AM
I wonder what the connection was between Forrest Pogue, the foremost biographer of George C. Marshall (a VMI alumnus) and Murray State?
JeanEllen | 2.3.11 @ 9:44AM
If I am not mistaken, Pogue was a history professor at Murray. My grandmother took one of his classes, though I don't recall the year. As a third generation MSU grad, I spent many days studying in Pogue library, now a genealogical library.
MSU Non-trad mommy| 2.3.11 @ 9:26AM
I so wish I had been able to attend your event. I, unfortunately, was in class (in Paducah, KY via ITV). Murray State University is such an important institution in our area. I am a 36-year-old mother of two who, without MSU and ITV courses (live television), would not be graduating with my family's first Bachelor's degree Spring 2012!
I am glad that you enjoyed Murray. Maybe you could explain why, if statistics are "lies, lies, lies" I am forced to take a statistics class to finish my degree? If only I could convince the powers that be...
Dennis| 2.3.11 @ 9:28AM
Bill - Pogue graduated from MSU and later taught there.
Becca H.| 2.3.11 @ 9:45AM
You did an amazing job at the Presidential Lecture. I have always been a fan of yours, especially Win Ben Stein's Money, but now I have nothing but the utmost respect for you. Thank you SO much for coming to Murray! I won't forget about it for years!
ncatty| 2.3.11 @ 10:01AM
I do not understand the significance of this article, which is increasingly the case with Mr. Stein's articles. Post these on Facebook.
Steve A| 2.3.11 @ 10:12AM
ncatty, Count me in with your take on Big Ben. His pen is a cure for insomnia. His life apparently consists of secretly wishing he could screw the hostess, sleeping, traveling & cheeseburgers. Zzzzzzzzzzz
Janey| 2.3.11 @ 12:27PM
Get a life, both of you. You probably both live on the East coast and think that that the U.S. consists of the East Coast, California, and a region in the middle called 'the midwest' where everyone drives tractors and keeps their cows in the house with them.... and that Idaho and Iowa are the same place.
Steve A| 2.3.11 @ 1:20PM
Janey, Sorry to insult your hero, but frankly, he bores me.
Your assumptions would be incorrect. I own a tractor, an F-350, 5 dogs, 3 guns & a guinnea pig. Throw in a few chickens & some barn cats & you have it. Country boy, VA USA. I have been to both Idaho & Iowa & my impression was that Idaho was a bit more hilly.
I do not currently own a cow, but if I did, rest assured that my kids would probably invite her in the house if they got the chance.
PS: None of this makes Ben any more or less dull.
Occam's Tool| 2.3.11 @ 7:07PM
I'm sorry, sir, but I believe that the column is called Ben Stein's Diary.
That being said, Ben is a hit or miss writer and thinker.
Janey| 2.4.11 @ 11:36AM
my apologies, Steve. I'm especially impressed by the dogs and guns. Speaking as someone who was born in 'Kalifornia' and has lived in most other regions of the nation, I don't appreciate it when I think people are dismissing news/facts about the less glamorous parts of the US.
ncatty| 2.3.11 @ 2:59PM
Sorry to disappoint, I live in North Carolina. Ben's articles are a matter of individual taste. Feel free to read all of them over and over and over zzzzzzzzz
Clint| 2.3.11 @ 10:10AM
Ah yes, The Forrest Gump Library at Murray's College & Bar, where waitress Bobbie Marie showed me her poodles & the beautiful Jeannie cheered us on.
I remember it, like it was yesterday.
Oh that's right, it was just yesterday.
Never mind.
Occam's Tool| 2.3.11 @ 7:10PM
Having lived in KY for 5 years, I recall that MSU and Central College had very good academic reputations. Louiville and UK have decent medical schools but are otherwise underwhelming academically.
Mr. MSU| 2.3.11 @ 10:34PM
Central College... I believe you're talking about Centre College in Danville. Yes, Murray State and Centre College are the two top ranking public and private universities in Kentucky, respectively (according to forbes.com). As far as UK and Louisville, they both are great schools--it just depends which area of study is the subject. For instance, UK has a very good undergraduate engineering program and a great law school.
Occam's Tool| 6.22.11 @ 9:58PM
Centre College---correct. My apologies.
Occam's Tool| 2.3.11 @ 7:13PM
Clint:
Dr. Pogue was a great military historian. Among the works he authored was the official history of SHAEF. He was the first historian of D-day, as well. If I recall, your father was a vet, no? Perhaps less flatulence and more facts from you might be appropriate. "Ring." (We can now begin the rantings of Clint, which will begin by calling me a Tool and an Israel-Firster. Yawwwwn.)
Clint| 2.3.11 @ 11:40PM
Fact 1 : Tool Job is a Creepy Little Fixated Dude,who likes to follow Clint around and work Israel into all kinds of unrelated discussions.
Fact 2 :Tool Job is one sorry-ass self-help disturbed excuse for a shrink.
Shove Off Creepy Dude.
Occam's Tool| 6.22.11 @ 9:59PM
You are still a maggot, who insulted a great man. (Pogue)
Jackie| 2.3.11 @ 11:04AM
Good article. Murray is like an ivy league university in a small town. Great place to live and be educated. I am thankful that there are still journalists out there who can write feel good articles about nice people and unique places!
Wayne | 2.3.11 @ 11:39AM
Ben, you must go to Pagliai's Pizza, the best pizza going.
Lindy Denham| 2.3.11 @ 12:19PM
Wayne: I completely agree on Pagliai's! Their stuffed crust pizza is legendary!
MSU, Class of 1982! Go Racers!
Daniel| 2.3.11 @ 5:14PM
It's no matt b's
Travis| 2.3.11 @ 12:22PM
Thanks a ton for coming, Ben. I met you several times throughout the day, and loved how you always remembered that you had already met me! The next time I meet you, I'm calling you Benjie.
Travis| 2.3.11 @ 3:30PM
And you can call me "Six Pack," and if you saw my abs you'd know how I got the name. Loved your warm embrace. Looking forward to another hug. Like you, I like to cuddle.
Travis| 2.3.11 @ 5:28PM
Ben, ever since meeting you I've been singing this old Michael Jackson song from the movie "Ben," a story about a lonely boy and his friend--a rat named Ben.
"Ben, the two of us need look no more,
You're the one that I've been looking for,"
Ben, I really like you and hope to see you again.
Travis| 2.3.11 @ 6:25PM
I guess it could be a "father complex" thing. Or maybe I'm in . . .
Jeannie| 2.3.11 @ 8:38PM
Travis, you poor thing, I know just how you feel. I, too, fell in love with Ben when he kissed me on both cheeks in front of the library. Such a lovable, huggable man.
I read that in Hollywood, both men and women frequently fall in love with Ben. He's such a charmer.
Ben's married and so am I. If things were different, I believe Ben and I would be in each others arms tonight.
Sweet, sweet Ben. Good night, honey.
Janey| 2.3.11 @ 12:33PM
Ben, there are many of us in town who are very sorry we missed hearing you speak, some of whom were very pleased to meet you around town before the event. More than the full house appreciate your visit.
Audra Todd| 2.3.11 @ 3:30PM
Nice. Glad you enjoyed Murray! It's my home town and I attended Murray State as well. Did a national student exchange to a "nicer" school on the west coast, but ended up appreciating MSU even more. Hopefully I'll get to meet you one day :) Thanks for writing kindly about people and places! It's encouraging.
Michael| 2.3.11 @ 4:14PM
Ben, you gave a great speech (except for the part that said taxes might have to be raised and Nixon did a great thing by opening Red China). There rest of it was terrific and thank you for visiting our wounded vets at Walter Reed.
Vet from Walter Reed| 2.3.11 @ 8:46PM
Ben, the next time you visit a hospital ward, would you please wash your hands after blowing your nose. You stood beside my buddy's bed and while talking to him blew your nose and then turned around and shook my hand. I hated that. The last thing I want is a cold. As soon as you moved on down the hall, I washed my hands with hot water and lathered them with soap like I never have done before.
Murray Girl| 2.3.11 @ 9:15PM
Thanks for gracing our campus and town with your presence. I so looked forward to hearing you speak and was not disappointed. My 16yr old son enjoyed your lecture as well. Too bad we don't have as many Godly patriotic men serving in our government as we do serving our country. Keep on doing what you are doing!
Glad you enjoyed our town, come back in the Spring sometime.
Richard| 2.4.11 @ 12:06PM
I love Murray State, Ben Stein and Dr. Pogue. My Scottish wife doesn't. Moved from Tokyo to Murray. Did not understand "yall come back" . Oldest son born there. Go Racers!!
Sparky| 2.4.11 @ 2:55PM
I'm super glad that Ben had such a super time, with a super beautiful lady, even though it was super cold.
Mary S| 2.5.11 @ 9:16AM
Great article! I live in Louisville,KY but grew up in Murray and went to MSU. It is a great small town and a great place to raise a family. My days at MSU are some of my fondest memories.
Willis| 2.6.11 @ 2:30AM
Thanks for bringing back great memories for me Ben; I attended Murray State for five years, and they were the best of my life. It really is paradise.
qihang11111| 5.4.11 @ 3:53AM
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weddingdresses | 6.27.11 @ 5:04AM
Thanks for bringing back great memories for me Ben; I attended Murray State for five years, and they were the best of my life. It really is paradise.
العاب بنات | 4.11.12 @ 4:04PM
I do not currently own a cow, but if I did, rest assured that my kids would probably invite her in the house if they got the chance.