The American Spectator : Connecting in Chicago

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Connecting in Chicago

By Ben Stein from the December 2010 - January 2011 issue

Back and forth, from wonderful Utah, to friendly Syracuse, to YAF country in Wisconsin.

Tuesday
This is a compelling tableau. I am at the Great America Hotel in Salt Lake City. Truly, this is a great American hotel. Lavish lobby. Comfortable, well-decorated suites. Superb room service, in fact, I would say the best room service I have ever had. That was last night after I flew in from LAX.

This morning, bright and early, I am at a conference of the Economic Development Corporation of Utah. This group has state and local government officials, high executives of corporations with a major presence in Utah, and educators.

You, faithful readers, know how I often talk about how crazy people look in Los Angeles and generally everywhere I am, right? Disheveled, sloppy, clothes and persona giving off a vibe of insanity ? You know how I often wonder where the clean-cut, wholesome, well-dressed, sensible people are?

Utah. At least here in this room. The people here, men and women, young and old, are well dressed, neat, orderly, speak well, are friendly and self-confident.

Forbes just ranked Utah as the best state in which to do business, and I can see why. This state is about hard work, about work as a moral virtue, about work and thrift and prudence as moral duties. It is a state where families stay together and where parents and children value learning.

The result? A high productivity, very low unemployment economic powerhouse.

Where are the Americans who can compete with China? Utah. And the best of them -- or some of the best -- are in this room.

I love Utah and I love these people.

Anyway, I spoke and answered questions, and then took a short nap, and then headed off to the ultra-neat SLC airport. Again, the people here look as well ordered and well mannered as the people at LAX look out of it.

I got in my little plane -- all coach, 1 and 2 seating -- and off I flew to ORD, which you sensible people know as Chicago. I was met by a simply beautiful young Chinese woman with a cart who took me to my gate for my next flight. The airport was packed. An immensely fat, smelly man followed me to get his picture with me and to shake hands with me. When he finally got his picture and his sweaty handshake, he said, with an evil cackle, "You shouldn't shake hands with strangers." Heh-heh.

Good point, but that's what I do. I washed my hand, visited with a very drunk U.S. Army sergeant on his way to Afghanistan, told him I would pray for him, and then went on to my next plane. It was an even smaller commuter, headed to Syracuse. I slept the entire way, and arrived with a start in Syracuse at midnight. I had not had dinner and was hungry. The airport in Syracuse, at midnight in mid-October 2010, was jam-packed, standing room only.

Why? Who knows? I asked my driver if my hotel had 24-hour room service. "Of course," he said. "It's the best hotel in Syracuse."

Naturally… no room service. But a helpful desk clerk tracked down the bartender, who was about to leave. The bartender, for the promise of a large tip, brought me orange juice, toast, butter, orange marmalade, and water. I tipped her 40 bucks. It is amazing how useful money is when you're on the road. Paying human beings for personal service, good personal service, is one of the best uses for money. After all, waiters, bartenders, taxi drivers, bellhops, those hard-working people, get paid modestly. A reasonable tip changes their hour and even their day. And after all, why don't they deserve it if they do a good job?

I ate some toast -- a good, bland food -- and drank some orange juice, and read my speech, then took a long shower and went to sleep. However, I was too jacked up from all of my travel to sleep. I tossed and turned, then took a sleeping pill, then another sleeping pill, and next thing I knew, it was morning.

I spoke to a fine group of men and women in the insurance industry in the Syracuse region, which is a really beautiful area of upstate New York. We talked about insurance, and how vital it is to protect your loved ones with life insurance, and to protect your health and your retirement with insurance products. They were a good audience, laughing at my jokes and applauding for the soldiers whenever I mentioned them. Very kind and intelligent people. I also stayed afterwards to sign autographs and take photos with the nice people, men and women of all ages.

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About the Author

Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes "Ben Stein's Diary" for every issue of The American Spectator.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (72) | Leave a comment

Bill Hussein O'Stalin| 1.3.11 @ 6:35AM

After reading several of your articles I've come to one conclusion. You have an eye for beauty. Just don't use it in the Jet's locker room.

Tomas| 1.3.11 @ 1:33PM

Ben sees beauty in what Hollywood would call ugly. Which, of course, means Hollywood is wrong, and we should follow Ben's example.

"...I watched the young people enjoying themselves. I was enjoying myself, too, so how old can I be?"

I LOVE this. Really love it. I'm going to have this tattooed on my forehead. I met this gal who had lost her inner child. so sad. She saw nothing good in her world.

It's the kid in us that gives us perspective. It couldn't be better said, then, by Ben...

"I could easily have wound up dead or in prison, but God saved me and put me back on the path to sanity. I really have to laugh when I meet people who deny there is a God. I have seen Him working, and working hard, to save me."

I, too, know there is a God because He saved me from continuing down a self-destructive road.

"We have people who won't work and won't learn."

My employer, part of an up-scale fast-food restaurant chain, is chronically 6 employees short of being fully staffed, which makes life for everyone a bit hectic. A young man I know is continuously bemoaning his lack of success in finding job. He feels himself "too good" to work where I work, and won't apply.

Says it all, doesn't it? And we wonder at all the Hispanics working their butts off.... at jobs we're "too good" to take.

Must be their Work Ethic...

Rockets Redglare| 1.3.11 @ 7:59PM

Did you ever see a Jew jitsu? Well I did.

I was on my way into a public restroom at the airport in Detroit when I saw Ben Stein making his way out of a stall. And as he approached the sink to wash his hands, he was making the most graceful jitsu movements I have ever see.

What beautiful form! The moment is chrystallized in my mind forever.

Ben can do anything. Well that's what I've heard.

Seek| 1.4.11 @ 1:49PM

Plenty of Hollywood movies have been shot in Utah and with Utah people (and New Mexico, too -- see "Crazy Heart," "The Missing"). Leave the Blue State vs. Red State/"Hollywood vs. America" nonsense to Michael Medved and his ilk.

Wes Davis| 1.3.11 @ 6:28PM

Good job Ben. Keep up the good work.

Mac| 1.3.11 @ 10:18PM

Have you ever noticed that when you read the comments after one of Ben's writings, the first few are from people who really "like" Ben Stein, his writings and his Character. Then after you get down to the latter comments, they are from people who just like to make fun of the people who brag on Ben, criticizing them and Ben. It's like when you go into a bar. First the people are friendly and have a smile, then comes the next wave of being loud and laughing, then they begin to get angry making rude comments and pointing out others faults, then you either will fight or leave. I read about the first 5 or 6 comments, then I leave because of the rude and personal derogatory statements of people who are just so unsatisfied in their small world.

56 Chevy| 1.4.11 @ 12:05AM

Mac,

If you admire the pretentious Ben Stein, who fills his every post with the most sickening self aggrandizement, then you have poor judgement.

Ben Stein is one big phony. And his writing skills are the worst of any of the contributors to this blog.

Martha P.| 1.4.11 @ 12:10AM

I enjoy the sarcasm, the gentle poking fun at Ben and AmSpec.

I, in fact, laughed out loud while reading the thread.

Ben's post are never worth reading. I just read them just for the sake of smiling at his smugness--he is so full of himself. And his constant bragging is a hoot.

What amuses me are the readers who actually take him seriously.

Seek| 1.4.11 @ 1:50PM

He writes like a 9th-grader.

Seek| 1.4.11 @ 1:50PM

He writes like a 9th-grader.

Seek| 1.4.11 @ 1:50PM

He writes like a 9th-grader.

Seek| 1.4.11 @ 1:50PM

He writes like a 9th-grader.

John| 1.4.11 @ 12:15AM

"people who are just so unsatisfied in their small world"

Mac is Ben Stein. Ben Stein's superiority is in that phrasing.

Ben likes to brag about his big world.

Mac| 1.4.11 @ 5:41PM

You guys just made my "Case and Point."
You probably didn't like Will Rogers and his down to earth comments and stories either. It's sad that you can't glean something good from anyone.

Brian John Murphy| 1.12.11 @ 9:46PM

I don't think Ben is being smug or superior. He does seem to appreciate how fragile wealth and privilege are. Reading his column is like what I imagine sitting with him and chatting would be.
If Ben's world is big, it is because he made it big with hard work to exploit his innate talents. Yet he is grateful to God --and to the men and women who defend our country-- for the blessings in his like. He is probably the least arrogant pundit in the political world...and the most refreshing.

Justin Oliver| 1.3.11 @ 11:01AM

I had the good fortune to hear Ben speak in Salt Lake City.

Fascinating! The man is a genius! An intellectual giant!

Ben Stein is a remarkable observer and commentator.

I regret he has only one life, one mind, and one reputation to put at the service of my country.

His witty repartee, his ready-access of historical quotations, his bookish eloqence, and, most of all, his effortless flow of well-formed words had all of us enthralled. We were sitting on the edge of our seats, hanging on to every delicious word.

The sustained standing ovation had many of us in tears! We love the man!

And I eagerly await each online installment of Ben Stein's Diary. Each entry must be read and reread at least three times for full comprehension and appreciation.

Ben, please do us all a favor and publish your diaries in leather-bound editions. Your diaries, some day far in the future, will most likely be as valuable as the diaries of Samuel Pepys. Think about it.

Now, I must go back and reread today's post. What a treat!

Miss Alabama| 1.3.11 @ 12:28PM

Justin, your sarcasm is too acidic.

Ben is a mensch! A warm, cuddley huggybear! I adore him, and so does my handsome husband!

My husband and I invited Ben down for a weekend of hunting on our plantation outside of Montgomery, and we found him to be the ideal house guest.

Gregarious, amusing, erudite, he cast a spell over the rest of our guests--eight couples--all Republicans-- from the very highest echelons of Charleston and Savannah society.

On that "magical weekend" (Ben's words in his gracious thank you note), my husband and I bonded with Ben, and I am confident our deep friendship will endure.

Ben, darling, I send you my love and good wishes.

Betty Jean Haggers| 1.3.11 @ 12:35PM

Well I'll be doggone.

This is about all I can say.

Miss Alabama's posts always leave me

speechless.

Annie Mae Musslewhite| 1.3.11 @ 12:37PM

Miss Alabama. Lord, Lord, Lord!

Somebody needs to bring this woman down a notch or two.

Steve A| 1.3.11 @ 1:41PM

Hey Miss A, How exactly does one qualify for "the very highest echelons of charleston & savanna society?" I mean, what are the yardsticks used for this lofty perch you place yourself on? Can I get an application?

Cultural Doyenne of Charleston| 1.3.11 @ 2:05PM

Miss Alabama's guests were most certainly not from the highest echelons.

The highest echelons are the descendants of aristocratic families.

The aristocratic families of Charleston and Savannah aren't bothered by outsiders : in fact, they don't bother with them at all.

They would certainly not be interested in socializing with the showy Miss Alabama and the vulgar, self-aggrandizing Ben Stein.

Steve A| 1.3.11 @ 2:21PM

Cultural, Are you suggesting that our beloved Miss Alabama stick to the swimsuit competition??

"gunner"| 1.3.11 @ 2:52PM

that is their loss, ben in contrast, has time for courtesy, even to a retired hired gun up in the wilds of vermont whom he has never met in person. i doubt that i would care to spend much time with your soi disant "charleston elite" while ben, and the friends he describes i would likely enjoy were i to ever meet them.

Bill| 1.3.11 @ 4:23PM

The elite of Charleston are very similar to Asians: they worship their ancestors.

Seattlebred| 1.3.11 @ 5:05PM

Steve A,
If you have to ask, you're immediately disqualified.

bill mcdonald| 1.3.11 @ 2:28PM

The next time you have a gathering of "the very highest echelons of Charleston and Savannah society".. how about inviting me, BlueCollarBill.

Jack| 1.3.11 @ 11:37AM

I always look forward to his articles. He speaks from the heart and it is inspirational to read his thoughts as we live in the same emotional plane. To me, he is a national treasure.

Ed White| 1.3.11 @ 12:56PM

Jack,

Surely you must mean "emotional plain" instead of "emotional plane," unless you are suggesting that you, too, are a frequent flyer, and that you, like Ben, suffer from chronic, mind-debilitating, emotional jet lag.

Betty Jean Haggers| 1.3.11 @ 1:04PM

I just heard on the radio that Loretta Lynn has died.

When I hear more details, I'll post them here.

That woman could sing!

Madge| 1.3.11 @ 7:26PM

Betty Jean, Is it asking too much for you to stay on the subject?

And the subject, in case the noise in your trailer park is too loud for you to concentrate, is the famous Ben Stein--one of my heroes.

Bubba Bad Ass| 1.3.11 @ 7:28PM

well theres no need to be rude Madge.

if loretta is dead we need to know.

sans| 1.3.11 @ 8:06PM

pretension is not very flattering - thought you'd want to know. and if he is one of your heroes, that explains why pretensious people have lowered the bar on heroes.

Ned| 1.3.11 @ 1:32PM

Actually, no.

plane 1 (pln)
n.
1. Mathematics A surface containing all the straight lines that connect any two points on it.
2. A flat or level surface.
3. A level of development, existence, or achievement: scholarship on a high plane.
4. An airplane or hydroplane.
5. A supporting surface of an airplane; an airfoil or wing.

Tomas| 1.3.11 @ 2:04PM

Touche...

Ronald Eliot| 1.3.11 @ 2:10PM

Surely you can't apply definition 3's meaning to the "emotional plane" Jack claims to share with the vacuous Ben Stein.

Pay attention, please.

dennis2j| 1.3.11 @ 12:08PM

I'm glad that I don't have to do very much traveling, Mr. Stein. I feel worn out just reading about your travels!

P. Popover from D.C.| 1.3.11 @ 8:37PM

This is a warning:

Last night I was in CVS in Dupont Circle in D.C., and I picked up a pack of peanut butter crackers. I left the store, tore open the bag, ate the crackers, and the next think I know I'm sitting at a bus stop in Silver Spring.

How did I get there? I don't know! I had no reason to be there at the bus stop, and I have no memory of how I got there.

What I do know is this: CVS is spiking the snacks with pyschotrophic drugs to get us hooked.

Pass it own.

Richard Norman| 1.3.11 @ 12:12PM

Ben, I too have stayed at the Great American Hotel in Salt Lake City and find it to be one of the finest hotels in America. Like a Ritz-Carlton only better! Glad you were able to find yourself there.

One comment on your inability to sleep, orange juice is liquid sugar which gives you a jolt so I'm not surprised you couldn't go to sleep. Also, if you have acid reflux at all, you should never drink OJ.

Joan from Sandpoint| 1.3.11 @ 12:45PM

Justin from SL says it deliciously...and best of all
Ben shares BEN everywhere he goes across this incredible country. My personal definition of
"way sexy".

Wayne | 1.3.11 @ 12:46PM

Mr. Stein, when are you going to do a documentary on Global Warming like the one you did on Intelligent Design? I think it would be a very fitting sequel.

NeoCon4Jesus| 1.3.11 @ 2:26PM

Hey Ben, those nice Mormon people in UT you think are so nice and clean. Well, they think jews like you are going to burn in Hell forever. Do you still think they are so nice and clean? lol.

bfwebster| 1.3.11 @ 3:50PM

"They think Jews like you are going to burn in Hell forever."

Wrong on so many levels -- I don't know if you're being deliberately dishonest or if you're just truly that ignorant. Frankly, among Christian churches, Mormons are probably the closest to being universalists: http://adventures-in-mormonism.....and-hell/.

Observer| 1.3.11 @ 7:21PM

BF,
Does the C of LDS qualify as being a "Christian" Church? I think the whole "revelation" to Joseph Smith thing, along with LDS theology on the nature of God the Father and Christ takes it out of the running as a genuine Christian church, but perhaps my opinion is an outlier...

sans| 1.3.11 @ 8:08PM

personally, they sound the closest to being Grimm's fairy tales.

b-bnewman| 1.3.11 @ 2:37PM

The Mormons are wrong about a lot of things, but nice people can be very wrong or very "right!" about a lot of things!.

josil| 1.3.11 @ 3:08PM

I'm 77 and have bumped into a lot of people over the years. The nicest human being I have ever encountered was a far right Mormon. I'm not Mormon or even Christian. Politics or religion are not prerequisite for humane behavior.

Jake the Rake| 1.3.11 @ 7:40PM

You say, josil, that you have "bumped into a lot of people over the years."

Are you the smelly fat ass that bumped in to hyper-hygeinic Ben Stein in the airport, asked to have your picture taken with him, and dared to shake his hand after the shoot?

Ben had to high tail it to the restroom to wash the germs off.

Ben, you see, is not accustomed to being accosted by low-class proles like yourself.

Big Ben is a Beverly Hills man.

All you blue collar AmSpec readers can't grasp this. You're too damn dumb.

Priscilla P. from Las Vegas| 1.3.11 @ 7:45PM

Hi, I',m a Vegas masseuse and when Bens in town he calls me.

He's a sweetie. He tipped me four hundred dollars last time he was in town.

Ben is one who appreciates hard workers like me who give there job all theyve got and more.

I made that man feel goooooooood. And he aprreciated and showed it.

Give me a call, Beh honey the next time youre in town.

Bubba Bad Ass| 1.3.11 @ 7:52PM

gimme your number honey an I'll hop a plane

flyman8| 1.3.11 @ 10:19PM

it's a sad thing persons of your mental state can be allowed to not only own but broadcast upon the Net with your pc. Please cease to soil this site with your sarcasm and bile so the rest of us can enjoy a pleasant read.
Thank you

High Commander| 1.3.11 @ 3:11PM

You know, the more of these articles I read from Mr. Stein, the more I just know it would be amazing to sit down with him, have a harmless social beverage, and talk about anything and everything. Ben, you're an American Original. God bless you!

Bill| 1.3.11 @ 4:19PM

Respectfully, $40.00 for room service to send some orange juice to your room is not a reasonable tip. It's so large it acted as an incentive for someone who was going off duty to stay on duty for another ten or twenty minutes.

edward cropper| 1.3.11 @ 4:47PM

How could anyone take Ben seriously after he endorsed Al Franken ?

JHB| 1.3.11 @ 4:58PM

Ben,

As the Confederate Lt. General Nathan B . Forrest would order, "CHARGE!", always determined to WIN!

So, Carry On! ....

James

nick| 1.3.11 @ 6:49PM

Thanks Ben. I love your writing. Your description of President Nixon's funeral still resonates with me.

Keep going and I agree, give big tips. I always do because I started my working life as a bellhop. It is a nice largely tax free thing you can do for a young person who is working for a living.

Happy New Year.

Bubba Bad Ass| 1.3.11 @ 7:20PM

speaking of funerals anyone herad any more about loretta lynn dying?

i been listening to the radio, but i hadnt heard nothing.

A.M. Musslewhite| 1.3.11 @ 7:22PM

I'm praying that it's not true.

Loretta's death I mean.

Charie| 1.3.11 @ 7:29PM

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Stein when he was speaking to another group of College Republicans. I was a liaison between the C.R.s and the local Republican Party and was invited to attend the small dinner for him. There were perhaps 20 young people there and he talked to every single one of them and inquired as to their specialties and what they wished to do in their life. He actually listened when they spoke of their plans.

He spoke the following day and said he loved the town and asked if we knew why? No one hazarded a guess and he said, "I took my son out for a walk at midnight and no one bothered us. I felt safe."

Altogether a gracious man.

Eenie Menie| 1.3.11 @ 7:48PM

Yeah, and you're full of it.

Charie| 1.3.11 @ 11:19PM

I just love meaningful comment.

A Wreck in Mississippi| 1.3.11 @ 8:48PM

I'm sitting here waiting for news about Loretta.

IF LORETTA IS DEAD, FOR GOD'S SAKE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN GO TO BED!

flyman8| 1.3.11 @ 10:23PM

random acts of kindness are a wonderful personal trait and you certainly have expressed yourself quite well.
Thank you

sans| 1.3.11 @ 8:01PM

A few things come to mind: You can't judge a book by its cover. A clean desk is the sign of a sick mind. The Stepford Wife mentality is not everyone's cup of tea.

And Ben, if you enjoy your seat on the apex of pretension, that's your business but don't knock others because they prefer to live a more comfortable existence without the waste of resources it takes to make you feel special. I guess some people need to feel good about themselves by surrounding themselves with wasted extravagance. Personally, I enjoy the simple and real beauty of nature and its honesty.

sans| 1.3.11 @ 8:13PM

unless you have access to very inside news, loretta lynn's death has been greatly exaggerated.

A.M. Musslewhite| 1.3.11 @ 8:33PM

sans,

I certainly hope what you say is true, Loretta is not dead. I am already depressed--I'm bipolar 2,4, and 8--and Loretta's death could send me over the edge.

Smirking Weasel| 1.4.11 @ 12:30PM

'...racist...' Why, because you say so?
Another cowardly psuedo-conservative hack
confirmed.

Jack Ferguson| 1.5.11 @ 8:36AM

Ben, I never imagined your intelligence based on the "Redeye" commercial. I love you man. May God continue to bless you and "PLEAES KEEP UP THE GOOD CONSERVATIVE WORK YOU ARE DOING FOR THIS COUNTRY AND ITS YOUTH.

Wayniebob| 1.7.11 @ 10:24PM

Ben is the effin man!!

ole red| 2.11.11 @ 8:41AM

Ben Stein is a smart man who figured out how to live well without doing a lick of real work. This is reflected in his columns, which cannot take more than a few minutes to dictate. His writings usually betray no wisdom or thought, and are really just designed to insure that he will be invited back to live yet another day or two on somebody else's tab.