With Election Day fast approaching, it’s time to remind
Republicans of the unused ammunition they have only three more
weeks to expend. In the spirit of the Marine Corps aviators — one
of whose mottos is, “never return to base with unexpended ordnance”
— here are a few cases of bombs that are still hanging on the
Republicans’ wings waiting to be dropped.
Given his record, it should be easy for Meg Whitman to
defeat the gent who the late Mike Royko labeled “Governor
Moonbeam.” But the last time Jerry Brown served as California’s
governor was thirty years ago, and memories — even bad ones —
fade over time. So it’d be a good time for Ms. Whitman to remind
Californians of Brown’s other nickname — Governor Medfly — and
how he earned it.
In 1980 California was beset simultaneously with Brown
sitting in the governor’s chair and an infestation of the
Mediterranean fruit fly (the two creatures being easily confused).
On November 24, 1980, the U.S. Department of Agriculture declared
the state’s effort at medfly eradication inadequate. Gov. Medfly
fumbled and fussed, working anxiously to avoid using
environmentally unfriendly pesticides against the environmentally
destructive fly. Eight months later — on July 10, 1981, after
threats of boycotts of California agricultural products came from
Japan and Mexico — Brown finally ordered aerial spraying. State ag
officials used malathion, a very powerful chemical. But because the
infestation had spread so widely by the time Brown acted, the spray
had to be applied across a huge area, close to many populated
places. The malathion promptly melted the paint off of hundreds of
cars. Californians may want to vote “green”, but not if they have
green-painted cars.
And while we’re in fruit and nut land, Carly Fiorina might
want to remind voters that her Senate opponent, soon after her
election, disclaimed any loyalty to the other of the state’s two
major employers: the defense industry. And Sen. Barbara (“don’t
call me ma’am”) Boxer has remained faithful to that liberal
orthodoxy. She’s done all she can to turn California’s aerospace
industry into a high-tech ghost town.
Suddenly last August, Boxer realized there were defense
industry union votes to mine so she went to the C-17 production
plant and promised to do everything in her power to keep the
massive transport rolling off the production line. And, of course,
Babs didn’t lift a finger, C-17 production is being terminated, and
California will lose yet another 5,000 jobs. Babsy Boxer has not
only harmed our national security. She’s cost California a minimum
of 40,000 defense industry jobs.
Moving east from California, we need to stop briefly in
Nevada to remind Sharron Angle of the principal question regarding
Harry Reid: where is Harry’s brain? He answered that question for
us on August 3, 2007. Remember when the Foreign Intelligence
Surveillance Act was being rewritten by grownups? Amidst the
New York Times’ conniptions about “warrantless
wiretapping” and the ACLU’s rants about “constitutional rights” of
terrorists, FISA was about to expire and the Bush administration
was pushing hard to get the law updated and
reauthorized.
And on that hot and sunny Washington day, Harry Reid was
asked at a press conference whether he thought the Bush
administration was stampeding Congress to pass the FISA bill. Harry
then reached into his suitcoat pocket and pulled out a New York
Times editorial from that very morning. Fortuitously, it was
entitled, “Stampeding Congress, Again.” And Harry proclaimed,
“Here’s what I think about that.”
Ms. Angle should remind Nevada voters that Harry’s brain
is not in his body. It’s in the New York Times’ editorial
office. If you want to know what Harry thinks, don’t ask him: read
the Times. Not many Nevadans do.
It would be ungenerous of us to list the redundant proofs
that the so-called “Blue Dog” Democrats, poseurs all, are nothing
more than Pelosi’s pink lapdogs. So let’s proceed.
Of these 52 ladies and gents who insist that they are
fiscal conservatives and strong on national defense, about
one-third of them voted for BOTH the “cap and tax” global warming
bill AND for Nancy Pelosi’s version of Obamacare. For the record,
they were:
Joe Baca (CA-43)
Sanford Bishop (GA-02)
Leonard Boswell (IA-03)
Dennis Cardoza (CA-18)
Jim Cooper (TN-05)
Henry Cuellar (TX-28)
Gabrielle Giffords (AZ-08)
Jane Harman (CA-36)
Baron Hill (IN-09)
Mike Michaud (ME-02)
Dennis Moore (KS-03)
Patrick Murphy (PA-08)
Loretta Sanchez (CA-47)
Adam Schiff (CA-29)
David Scott (GA-13)
Zack Space (OH-18)
Mike Thompson (CA-01)
Anyone running against any of these folk should be
reminding people of these votes. (As Casey Stengel would have said,
“you could look it up.” Pelosicare was HR-3962. The “cap and tax”
bill was HR-2454.) The ever-informative Club for Growth reports
that Pelosi herself cast 62 votes on fiscal issues in the 111th
Congress and the Blue Dogs voted with her 80% of the time. (Which
brings to mind another useful New York baseball saying: “T’row da
bums out.”)
Florida Senate candidate Marco Rubio is blessed by the
fact that his main opponent, Charlie Crist, has a record that is
the rough equivalent of Gov. Medfly’s, minus the malathion. Rubio
should need no help at all after Crist’s toss of the first pitch at
an MLB playoff game. Crist — apparently dressed in someone’s
pajama pants and his father’s baseball jersey — looked entirely
ridiculous and threw so wildly that the catcher needed to chase the
ball. Why not use the video of Clumsy Charlie juxtaposed with one
of Rubio throwing hard to a major league catcher? “Marco Rubio
throws heat, and hits the target”?
Pollsters have all but written off Jay Townsend’s campaign
to topple uberliberal Chuck Schumer in one of the two New York
Senate races. But Townsend may yet surprise them. He’s already
remembered two key facts: that Schumer is in a three-way tie (with
the aforementioned Babsy Boxer and Barry O’Bama) for the title of
most liberal person on the planet. And Schumer’s weirdness is
something too few New Yorkers remember. Chuck has two imaginary
friends — he named them Joe and Eileen Bailey — who he talks to
frequently and who he says accompany him everywhere he goes. They
advise him on middle-class issues. Townsend could put out a YouTube
video with Chuck and a few cartoon pals talking about how proud he
is to lead the national liberal agenda. It would go viral and
Chuckie could be the surprise upset of the year.
Illinois Senate candidate Alexi
Giannoulias said on “Meet the Press”
yesterday that he (formerly the bank’s senior loan officer) didn’t
know the extent of his family-owned bank’s loans to convicted
mobsters and assorted felons. And, he said, only 9% of the bank’s
loans weren’t bad. Hey, no prob: the mob is a good credit risk to
Giannoulias’s “family” bank. Republican Mark Kirk might think about
one of those newly-popular YouTube videos featuring Jack Webb’s
Sergeant Friday character. Kirk’s staff could cobble together
Giannoulias’s statements on MTP with Sgt. Friday questioning him
aggressively. No need to waterboard Alexi. The hot lights will be
enough. Dumm-ta-dumm-dumm.
By the time the polls close on Election Day, Republicans
should feel confident that they’ve missed no opportunity. Bombs
away, folks.
