The American Spectator : The Laugher Curve

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The Laugher Curve

By David Catron on 8.30.10 @ 6:08AM

Progressives bend the mirth curve upward with their ObamaCare claims.

Many conservatives believe that the principal difference between traditional liberals and contemporary progressives is that the latter lack a sense of humor. In this, however, we do our left-of-center friends an injustice. Progressives are, in fact, a plentiful source of sidesplitting humor. Indeed, for irrefutable proof that they possess a genuine gift for comedy one need look no further than the claims they make for ObamaCare. In their increasingly frantic attempts to justify that big-government boondoggle, they routinely produce thigh-slappers that would have been the envy of any old-time Vaudeville comedian. As the late Jimmy Durante would have phrased it, they got a million of 'em.

Among the most hilarious ObamaCare justifications is the claim that it will reduce the federal budget deficit. No less a jokester than Paul Krugman produced this gag in a recent blog post, "the Medicare actuaries believe that the cost-saving provisions in the Obama health reform will make a huge difference to the long-run budget outlook.… All the facts we have suggest that health reform was the biggest move toward fiscal responsibility in a long, long time." The comedy writers from whom Krugman got this quip are the CMS bureaucrats who produced the latest Medicare Trustees Report, which claims "reform" will control Medicare spending enough to keep the program solvent while easing upward pressure on the deficit.

Alas, not everyone appreciates this brand of humor. One such stick-in-the-mud is Richard Foster, Medicare's Chief Actuary. On August 5, Foster became the first Chief Actuary in the program's history to openly question the plausibility of a Trustees Report. In fact, Foster authorized an eighteen-page memorandum whose introduction contains this astonishing passage: "[T]he projections shown in the report do not represent the 'best estimate' of actual future Medicare expenditures." Foster's memorandum was a response to the report's absurd assumption that Medicare physician payment rates will be reduced by 30% over the next three years, an assumption that fails… well… the laugh test.

And Foster is by no means the only fuddy-duddy who fails to see the humor in the Medicare Trustees Report. Michael O. Leavitt, former Secretary of HHS and a member of the Medicare Board of Trustees from 2005 to 2009, also questions its plausibility: "Despite the report from Medicare's trustees... Medicare is no better off than it was a year ago." There are even fussbudgets on the left who find this particular joke in poor taste. One high-profile progressive consulting outfit has advised Democrats and their allies to avoid it altogether. In a recent presentation organized for Families USA and other pro-ObamaCare advocacy groups, the Herndon Alliance admonished them to stop claiming that the Democrat health care bill "will reduce costs and the deficit."

Nonetheless, progressive wits still have plenty of good material, including the claim that ObamaCare will create hundreds of thousands of new jobs. This howler has long graced the repertoire of that talented comedienne, Nancy Pelosi, who advised the public last February that the health care bill would immediately create 400,000 new jobs. And it is still being told by a variety of ostensibly nonpartisan farceurs. National Journal, for example, plans a September policy summit in which various participants will be asked to maintain straight faces while discussing ObamaCare "as an economic engine" and whether it will "serve as a jobs creator and accelerate growth in health-related industries."

If it seems self-evident that the $1 trillion "reform" bill will create jobs in the health care sector, you might want to talk to Patrick Muldoon. He is the CEO of HealthAlliance Hospital in Leominster, Massachusetts, which was forced to eliminate 50 jobs as a direct result of ObamaCare's passage. Muldoon explains that the staff reductions are necessary because "health care reform is expected to result in the loss of $24 million in Medicare reimbursements." Thus, the effect of Obama's "economic engine" on that hospital has been to add many of its employees to the ever-growing rolls of the unemployed. This is a story that will be repeated over and over again throughout the hospital industry as ObamaCare ramps up.

The loss of productive jobs in the health care sector will inevitably be accompanied by similar losses in the health insurance industry. As ObamaCare's perverse incentives herd privately insured patients to Medicaid and other government-subsidized coverage programs, many small insurance companies will find it necessary to lay off employees. Among the first victims are the employees of HealthMarkets, which provides insurance plans to the self-employed, individuals, and small businesses. The Texas firm just laid off 70 employees and will need to eliminate 180 more positions in 2011. Why? Its SEC filing cites "national healthcare reform and related legislative developments."

Presumably, these unemployed health and insurance workers will be a "tough room" for progressive comedians telling their ObamaCare jokes. And the mood of the crowd will not be elevated much by the presence of their employed brethren. The latter will not be amused, for example, to hear the hoary "you can keep your health plan" yarn. That routine increasingly dies on its feet, even when the comedian-in-chief himself tells it. All successful humor contains a kernel of truth, and that feature is conspicuously absent in this particular jape. This reality has become all too apparent to workers who stand to lose their current coverage because it doesn't meet the requirements of the new health care law.

And yet the jokes keep coming, proving that progressives do have a very real -- if somewhat malicious -- sense of humor. Indeed, the very name they have given the health care law is a study in snide humor. The "Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act," which manifestly fails to protect patients from anything -- except the ability to make their own health decisions -- and actually renders health care more expensive, is a cruel joke at the expense of the electorate. But the voters get it, and opinion surveys increasingly suggest that they are preparing to issue a scathing review on November 2. They will, in effect, paraphrase an old Henny Youngman gag by telling Congress, "Take ObamaCare… please."

About the Author

David Catron is a health care revenue cycle expert who has spent more than twenty years working for and consulting with hospitals and medical practices. He has an MBA from the University of Georgia and blogs at Health Care BS.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (22) | Leave a comment

Bill Hussein O'Stalin| 8.30.10 @ 6:32AM

Good article.

One thing you have to remember is that the government keeps three sets of books which allows for unlimited gimmickry and humor all it's own.

For instance, in 1998 the government claimed a 69 billion surplus while the public debt increased by 109 billion.

This is because of the concept of a unified budget (More humor there) which actually isn't unified.

This allows the federal government to play with numbers like a street corner con artist can wow you with three card monte.

Inter-governmental cash flows while are on the books are off the books so to speak.

Then there is the third set of books which don't exist except in the minds of crooked politicians. They take what they want and don't care about balancing the books.

In short, there really are no books, since the unified budget concept allows the government to do just about whatever it wants.

One thing I learned in book keeping. The bills always come due.

Jobe| 8.30.10 @ 7:46AM

This is true. The government now and for a long time in the past treats the budget like a check book that never has to be reconciled because more money can always be dumped into the till when the bills come due.

Impeach Don't Wait| 8.30.10 @ 10:53PM

Hmmm... What is it called when bad is called good? Down is called up? Sin is called virtue?... Certainly "laughable" to the pragmatic, but "truth" to the utopian.

Ken (Old Texican)| 8.30.10 @ 7:38AM

Mr. Catron,

I'm sorry. I just can't get the jokes.

Too many innocent Americans are going to die or be set on the shelf by this abomination.

Dan Hirsch| 8.30.10 @ 10:11AM

Ken;

You're right there's not one single funny thing about Mr. Obama and his regime. However, the one thing they are all incredibly vulnerable to his loud, raucous, spontaneous laughter. One thing they can't take is not being taken seriously.

What's the best news I'ver heard in two months? Letterman (who I detest) mocking Obama's vacations.

Mr. Catron failed to detail his underlying premise - these guys are so bad, and so full of themselves, that a strong guffaw from the nation can blow them off the stage. At least that's what I'll give Mr. Catron credit for. RWR said a guy who agrees with you 80% is an ally...

Jim O'Brien| 8.30.10 @ 7:56AM

Baseball player Roger Clemens has been indicted for lying to Congress. That's small potatoes. What about the $trillion lie told by Congress to the voters? Congress lies to us every minute of every day.

LiveFreeOrDie| 8.30.10 @ 1:20PM

Almost exactly my thoughts on Clemens/Congress. Our Government has become so crooked that it's laughable when congress accuses anyone of lying. Pot...kettle...black.

mph| 8.30.10 @ 9:16PM

Not to mention that I really don't care if Clemens lied to Congress. What are they doing investigating him anyway? Talk about overreach! Let the Baseball and national sports organizations discipline Clemens. I don't want my tax money spent on something so small, so local, and soooo not harming me in any way at all. What next? Federal investigations of referee calls?

Impeach Don't Wait| 8.30.10 @ 11:02PM

Yes, and of course Bush lied, right? But lies told by BOTH the Executive and Legislative branches of government will never see redress. It rests with the citizenry to provide the ultimate "checks and balance" on this one. Hope we're up to it or they'll get away with it.

Louis Jenkins| 8.30.10 @ 8:54AM

"Among the most hilarious ObamaCare justifications is the claim that it will reduce the federal budget deficit."

No. They first have to pass a bill before they read it. (If at all.) The entire Congress is made up of liars, and three books or otherwise, they will continue to lie to American public. We're the suckers who have to pick up the tab. This time, though, they have told a lie so big and so unbelievable that it will catch up to them, and darned fast too. While the newsmedia has been quiet about the mess, it is still very much on the front burner for us people in fly over country. Let it be so come Nov.

Clinton nee Publius| 8.30.10 @ 9:58AM

The Obama Administration is just following the ground plowed by the communists before it; the truth doesn't matter.

I remember the latest ridiculous example from communist China during the Olympics - air pollution would be reduced during the games so that runners wouldn't keel over in the street. This was a Party guarantee. Then reality hit.

The same is true here. Why don't they just declare the new World Trade Center complete and be done with it? They could put that in a report with a qualifier that says, "our assumption is that all construction activities have already been completed".

To say the Medicare Trust Fund is solvent based upon the assumption outlays decrease 30% per annum over the next three years is like saying there will be no budget deficits if there is no future spending, so Obama budgets are all deficit neutral.

This is why communism failed: the ideology was crippled by the requirement that its adherents always ignore reality in favor of la-la land pronouncements. It only works for so long.

Kind of like jobs saved.

Kind of like jobs funded.

Kind of like lives touched.

GavInTucson| 8.31.10 @ 2:47AM

"Lives touched" is my favorite new expression that the current administration uses to describe the effects of the stimulus. They couldn't quantify the jobs saved/created argument by any stretch of the imagination, so they came up with a new standard by which no human can measure.

Any liberals want to chime in on how the "lives touched" mantra can be qualified?

Paul from SA| 8.30.10 @ 10:51AM

The one about keeping your doctor and health plan if you want, was the strangest lie. What if my doctor dies or retires? What if my employer goes out of business or changes policies? What if my insurer goes out of business? I already had to change H-insurers last month due to ObamaCare, and yes, I'm paying a lot more.

Olfefarte| 8.30.10 @ 11:59AM

He and his CHICAGO WAY GOONS are telling the truth about their WELFARECARE. Its passage will increase employment, as thousands of necessary GOVERNMENT employees will have to be hired to process the insurance/medical claims resulting from adding 30 million [previously uninsured recipients to the new healthcare-welfare rolls]. Additionally, mental health facilities will have to add employees to handle the millions of new cases of citizen insanity resulting from having to suffer from their worthless medical insurance benefits being provided from WELFARECARE. Governmental sanitation workers will have to be hired also to collect the tons of discarded useless paper from the recipients of WELFARECARE after realizing how worhtless it really is. Of course EL CHOSEN ONE, THE SF MORON, and THE BEEDIE-EYED CROOK FROM VEGAS are all telling us the truth.........don't they always?????

Redstateboy| 8.30.10 @ 12:09PM

For Christ-Sake!!! We have a populace who collectivly voted in an accomplished Community Organizer based on the slogan: "Hope and Change" of course they're going to believe this BS!

Redstateboy| 8.30.10 @ 12:12PM

Here's a Fact. HussienCare will add 142 Million dollars to the State of Tennessee's budget every year for the next 7 years. Explain to me - ANYONE - how HussienCare is going to save us money. Where in Freak'n world is the State of Tennessee going to come up with an Additional 142 Million dollars...?

Michele San Pietro| 8.30.10 @ 5:38PM

Obamacare is simply a disgrace.

dw| 8.30.10 @ 6:11PM

These facts are nothing more than scare tactics. We do not accept facts and instead will only believe pelosi, who has no reason to lie.
You just wait and see, utopia is just around the corner and any minute now I will be absorbed in to the light of obama.