The American Spectator : The Ninth Circuit Experience

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The Ninth Circuit Experience

Eavesdropping on a historic moment of opinion-making.

Last week a three-judge panel on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled a Tex-Mex restaurant chain must pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages for violating the American with Disabilities Act.

The appeals court said Chipotle Restaurants violated the disabilities act because a wheelchair-bound customer could not see his food being prepared above a 45-inch-high counter and therefore was denied the complete "Chipotle Experience."

As an empathetic person, I tried to put myself, if not in the judges' shoes, then at least in a closet in the eminent jurists' chambers, thereby eavesdropping on an historic moment of opinion-making:

(Judges return to their chambers, take off robes, loosen ties, unbutton pants, kick off shoes and recline with feet on desks.)

JUDGE REINHARDT: So, how do you want to play this one?

JUDGE FRIEDMAN (Digs into dish of M&Ms. Pops several into mouth. Chews): Another damn fast food restaurant. Enough already.

JUDGE REINHARDT: They're everywhere.

JUDGE FRIEDMAN: Like weeds.

JUDGE REINHARDT: I was going to say cockroaches.

JUDGE FRIEDMAN: Them too. We used to have this nice strip over on Hillcrest. Very chic. Mediterranean, sushi, a nice kosher deli. Then some Neanderthal builds a garage mahal and lets all these damn chains move in. Bloopies, Harbys, Jimmy Jones.

JUDGE REINHARDT: Taco Bill.

JUDGE FRIEDMAN: They're the worst. Such commercials.

JUDGE REINHARDT: Yeah. The fish love that crap.

JUDGE FRIEDMAN: Next thing you know, half the haute cuisine joints are gone, out of business.

JUDGE REINHARDT: Of course they are. They can't compete with the swill them chains dish out. I mean, how much does a tub of pig fat cost?

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About the Author

Christopher Orlet writes every Thursday from St. Louis.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (7) | Leave a comment

Denver Todd| 8.5.10 @ 8:36AM

Chipotle as a chain spends a lot of time in liberal-ville, so I guess that they get what they pay for. However, this does seem silly. I can see them intalling a curtain so nobody can see their burrito being made, but at least it would equalize the Chipotle experience.

Tenn Slim| 8.5.10 @ 9:46AM

Absolutely absurd article.
While USA declines, we are subject to meaningless chatter.
AMSP you can do better than this.
end
Semper Fi
We WILL Prevail

J.C.Eaton| 8.5.10 @ 10:02AM

Absolutely disagree Slim. The article is absurd only in the sense that the decision and what passes for its' "reasoning" is absurd. I was on the bench for over 25 years. This is an exquisite example of the jurisprudential end game. Best, and Semper Fi.

jrjr| 8.5.10 @ 4:37PM

Unless anyone doubts this kind of goings on and doesn't know - the 9th Circuit is on the left coast, and housed in Pelosiville, Ca.

WRJonas | 8.5.10 @ 4:38PM

I wonder how long it will be before our Liberal Judges declare that man -boy love is legal and pedophiles have a Constitutional right to have intercourse with anyone.The age restriction is only a razor thin redefinition away.
Then we may have true test of "tolerance" to see how many parents think that society has no right to place restrictions on any one.

Seek| 8.5.10 @ 5:16PM

Is this the most idiotic civil suit ever filed or what? This is almost up there with that guy in Washington who demanded $54 million (or thereabouts) in damages for a pair of pants allegedly ruined by the local cleaners.

We've got a dozen or Chipotle restaurants in my area. I've been to a few. Yes, it's nice to "experience" how a burrito is made. But it's even nicer eating it and paying a reasonable price with good service. In other words: Who gives a flying rat's ass about observing the construction of a burrito?

The wheelchair plaintiff, no doubt egged on by a shyster lawyer, should be lucky he's capable of eating. The company, meanwhile, will be out several hundred grand.

What's next? A blind man sues a Japanese steak house for depriving him of the opportunity of seeing a hibachi steak in progress? Litigation madness marches on.