The excited telephone voice was Henny-Penny’s. I hadn’t
heard from the founder and Recording Secretary of The Holy Order
of The Sky Is Falling (THOOTSIF) in weeks, so was anxious to
learn why she was so enthusiastic.
H-P: It’s those wonderful
environmental regulators in the Obama Administration. I was
thrilled to learn that they agree with me that, when it comes to
the environment, we can never be too safe.”
Me: What is it this
time?
H-P: When the Dutch offered
to lend some of their skimmer boats to soak up oil from the big
spill, the Obama people declined because the boats discharged
water with some oil still in it.
You see, the regulations require that the discharged water
be 99.9985 percent pure, and these boats didn’t quite match
that.
Me: We’re talking about sea
water, Ms. H-P. That level of purity was intended for the bilge
pump of a ship.
H-P: Just the same, you can
never be too safe. The government finally did accept the
skimmers, but it required them to be dismantled from Dutch ships
and installed on American ships. Of course, our own crews had to
be trained to use them.
Me: So, the White House
dithered while thousands upon thousands of gallons of oil per day
were coming out of that well at the bottom of the sea. Some
foresight. Did you know that Obama could have waived that
water-discharge rule with the snap of his fingers? And, the only
reason his Administration required the skimmers to be taken off
Dutch ships and remounted on American ones was to appease some
unions which insisted there be no waiver of the Jones Act which
requires American crews on American ships in American waters. I
don’t know which is worse, the incompetence of the Administration
or its kowtowing to a special interest. Together, this made a bad
situation worse.
H-P: Just the same, we can
never be too safe when it comes to the environment.
Me: You must be kidding. It
will take years for Mother Nature to heal all the damage that has
been done from over two months of oil spilling in the Gulf of
Mexico. Every minute’s delay makes it worse. The Obama
Administration has been behind the curve from (to use their own
phrase) “Day One.”
H-P: You’re such a skeptic.
First it was global warm—-er—climate change, and now it’s the
oil spill cleanup. Can’t the government do anything right?
Me: Not this one. Speaking of
your beloved “climate change,” there is some good news. Thanks to
it, the Western United States had the wettest winter and coolest
spring in a decade. California, for example, with a Mediterranean
climate (virtually no precipitation between May and October). Its
hills and forests are usually very dry by now. That means June is
the beginning of the wild fire season. So far, though, there have
been only 642 fires that have burned 3,246 acres, compared with
1,343 files covering 49,410 acres by this time last year. You can
pass that on to your beloved THOOTSIF Pontiff, Al Gore.
H-P: I will, I will. What can
be done to cut the number of fires even more?
Me: Ask your Pontiff to talk
to Mother Nature about her lightning and to careless campers who
leave campfire embers smoldering.
