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Democrats Are From Pluto

Turns out there’s a Greene job they did not want to see created.

In the maiden episode of the classic TV comedy Get Smart in 1965, when Maxwell Smart was going to meet Agent 99 for the very first time, the code phrase for their introduction was “New York Mets Win Doubleheader.” The Mets had never finished above last place and the notion of their winning twice in one day was too absurd to contemplate. Just Smart’s luck, of course, the unthinkable happened and the Mets took a pair, causing a six-year-old kid to utter the password. If we were writing a pilot for such an episode in 2010 we might try this as the ridiculous headline: “Unemployed Veteran Does Not Campaign, Wins South Carolina Democrat Senate Primary by 18 Points.”

The unlikely victory by Alvin Greene in South Carolina was a practical joke of sorts played by the electorate on the powers that refuse to unbe. The image of the four-term state pol who spent a quarter-million dollars to be the butt of that joke is to be enjoyed with a dollop of relish. Not since the Jesse Ventura governorship has plebiscitary contrariness asserted itself so whimsically. True, Mr. Greene has some unwholesome chapters pushing his narrative into pathways too slippery for Cinderella. But what fascinates most about the Democrats’ big Greene wail is the plaint over the lack of green expended.

“How can a man win an election without spending money?”

You can hear the hurt in their voices, the feeling of betrayal, like someone who stepped out onto his patio only to find himself at the bottom of a sinkhole. Politics is supposed to be about cash, wads of it, splashing in all directions, enriching the media and the consultants and the candidates themselves. How can folks be rallied to a cause without spending on streamers and balloons and flyers and ominous radio ads delivered in hushed voices? Free votes are an outrage, it seems.

A variation on this showed in the Democrat glee over the victory of Sharron Angle in the Republican Senatorial primary in Nevada. They were gloating that Angle had less money in the bank than the other Republicans, so Reid would have no trouble beating her with his war chest of $25 million dollars. It was so disconcerting on its face to watch the Democrats salivate over the notion that this misunderstood gentle compassionate man-of-the-people Reid could crush that Tea Party wannabe… not with his melty heart but with his multi millions.

To the uninitiated this all surprises. Republicans are said to be occupied with the fiscal while the Dems seek loftier pursuits. They are helpers, givers, ceders of Lebanon, men of the spirit. They hear the cry of the impoverished while the Republicans gorge on their fattened calves. This is what we are told, but by whom? The Democrats themselves are the tellers and it turns out they are passing counterfeit currency. If anything the exact opposite is true: the Democrats are obsessed with money.

In public speaking I often challenge my audiences to name a single famously wealthy American who identifies as a Republican. Buffett, Gates, Soros, the Hollywood billionaires, proud Democrats every one. The New York smart set is all Democrat; any conservative lurking in their midst plies his view furtively, when the camera is turned away. The rich Republican is a hit in the theater of public opinion, but in truth he is a hit-and-myth proposition. He is the exaggerated proto-villain of the fevered fantasies of the self-righteous. Yet this Republican-as-Fagin caricature finds little to reflect him in the looking-glass of real life. It is unimaginable, for example, that a Republican would crow how he will obliterate the Tea Party populist because his rich buddies have fitted him for a suit with deep pockets.

So in the spirit of Global Humidifying I say: “Go Greene.” Shrink that campaign footprint. Do the paperless candidacy. Keep those flyers grounded. Let the buck stop here and never give change. It is time to evict those Democrat-qua-plutocrats. Heck, Pluto is not even a planet anymore.

About the Author

Jay D. Homnick, commentator and humorist, is a frequent contributor to The American Spectator. He also writes for Human EventsHere he speaks at the Rally for Religious Freedom in Miami on June 8, 2012.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (62) |

Brian Mc| 6.18.10 @ 6:53AM

Thank you, Jay...you've bolstered my day.

What wonderful sentiments. I can't wait to share them, expecially with my music teacher/sister.

Until your remark concerning the naming of truly rich Republicans, I must admit I had fallen for the MSM's pandering to the socialist views concerning the subject. I needed to see this in print in order that I might pull the veil from my eyes.

So, again I thank you.

Alan Brooks| 6.19.10 @ 9:09AM

"How can a man win an election without spending money?"

These must be the End Times after all.

Richard Baker| 6.18.10 @ 7:36AM

Of course, his getting 60% of the vote is a plot by the Republicans, sure. What whiners.

Ryan| 6.18.10 @ 8:18AM

We are seeing more votes counted than cast in some places, but it's looking like a non-starter.

It will be interesting to see why people did pick his name...

Ned| 6.18.10 @ 10:23AM

OF COURSE there were more votes counted than cast... likely more counted than there are residents in the district... I mean, really... we're talking "Democrats" here... presumably Mr. Greene has close ties to the governor of Washington state... and the junior senator from Minnesota... ditto for Alaska...

c. j. acworth| 6.18.10 @ 6:20PM

...is a plot by the Republicans. If only it were so. I long for the day when the Republican party learns to play dirty as the Dems. Its the only hope for this republic. But I'm not holding my breath. They ain't called the Stupid Party for nothin'.

Shamus| 6.18.10 @ 7:56AM

Rich Democrats generally favor high taxes because they know that they won't be paying them. Their assets are hidden in trusts and corporations in ways that make them impervious to revenue collectors. What they fear is that strong competitors will take away their cushy positions, so they prevail on government to crush attempts by middle class people to challenge them. This is why the super rich love high taxes while the middle class hates them.

Richard| 6.18.10 @ 12:09PM

Furthermore, the tax is an income tax not an asset tax. People who are rich are therefore not taxed as much as people who want to become rich.

Ray| 6.18.10 @ 12:24PM

"Furthermore, the tax is an income tax not an asset tax."

Ever hear of a property tax, also known as an estate tax? Never mind the fact that some States don't even have an income tax.

Louis Jenkins| 6.18.10 @ 8:11AM

Greene is a winner. Fortunately I've been watching this development and find it amusing. No cash, no computer, no Blackberry phone, yet he won his party's nomination. Even lives with one of his parents. Sounds like a political juggernaut to me. I've heard it spun in all sorts of directions from bad voting machines, to Republicans getting in on the act, to the Governor. But facts are facts. The voters can be fickle and vote for a black man, hmmm, were have I heard that before?

Truth to Power| 6.18.10 @ 8:57AM

The Democrats are not concerned about his incompetence, his moral imperfections, or any other rational aspect of Mr. Greene. He can't win. That is their problem with him. If he was in Detroit, New Orleans, Los Angeles or any other automatic Democratic enclave they wouldn't have the slightest problem with him. This is what racist politics looks like. Blacks dominate the southern Democratic Party and they voted totally based on skin color. The bigots have always resided the race obsessed Democratic Party.

Qwilly| 6.18.10 @ 9:24AM

Mr Booker T Washington would be very proud of you Mr. Alvin Green...

Charles Martel| 6.19.10 @ 2:39AM

Booker T. Washington is spinning in his grave, and he's not alone.

+++

Bram| 6.18.10 @ 10:03AM

Why not? Greene has more real-world work experience than Obama did 2 years ago, more military experience, and just as much executive experience. He has fewer gafs than the VP, and has yet to take a penny of lobbyist money.

Ry| 6.18.10 @ 12:11PM

Exactly! He better represents the constitutions than the people the party hand picks to represent them! Why wouldn't people pick him as their canidate?

The career politicians are shocked, shocked I tell you, that people have a tendency to pick someone more like themselves when voting for a leader.

Now the Democrat Elites want to overturn the results of their own primary, because THEY don't like who the PEOPLE chose to represent them.

Ray| 6.18.10 @ 12:15PM

Opps, that should read "constituents" and not "constitutions." Just suffering from a Starbucks moment, as my wife would say.

Old Soldier| 6.18.10 @ 1:08PM

Really - we are talking about Democrats, they don't have any constitution and don't like the Constitution.

Jeffry Pages| 6.18.10 @ 10:06AM

This is a REPUBLICAN trick! Somehow, Bush and Cheney got into this one. I'll bet the Republicans paid his $10,400 registration fee. I don't know how they stole the primary, but we hage to be very carefull in the Fall election as the Republicans are planning to steal the election from the Democrats. Alvin Greene is no doubt a Republican plant, but he is Black. Just maybe, that will give him the edge over that idiot the Republicans are running.

FTM| 6.18.10 @ 11:09AM

When you are in a hole, stop digging.

Jeffry, I have no intent to disparage you on the virtue of either party in running and/or stealing an election. The last guy that I voted for was H. Ross Perot, I haven't participated in an election since.

Now, if you were a professional political campaign manager and there are such out there running around, would you hesitate for even an instant to pull any sneaky, thieving underhanded Chicago style political stunt in the book in order to get your guy elected?

When I was in high school I worked for a Democrat Political candidate for a couple of weeks standing on a street corner handing out fliers and the like. The campaign manager, the guy that signed my paycheck was a snake. For that matter the candidate was a snake.

Do you really, seriously believe in your heart of hearts thgat there really is any such thing has an honest, compassionate politician? I will allow that there my be such a creature in a local election but by the time that a political candidate gets to the state and federal level they're reptiles. One of the Senators from my state is the Senate minority leader. I hear that if you want to talk to the guy that you have to wave thousand dollar bills at the guy. I've never recieved anything from the guy when "writing my congressman" other than a run-o-the-mill form letter in regards to just how completely flipped out the guy is to hear from you Mr. and that he totally agrees that is of just desperate and immediate response from the government, pant, pant, pant please vote for me.

One of the reasons that I think that this guy need to go to the bench. Problem is who's in line to take this guy's place? Beware the devil that you don't know.

From a slightly different tack, what has any politician ever done for you? Based on the assumption that you get up i the morning a go to work for a living. From what I've seen a politician will do a back-flip through his own ass for a welfare recipient and everybody else can go hang.

Ken (Old Texican)| 6.18.10 @ 11:57AM

Hi FTM

I too voted for Perot...for very personal friendship reasons. I have never known a major company CEO more respected and appreciated by his employees than Mr. Perot.
Did you know he was on the plane that flew into Iran when the Sha fell...with some former special forces guys he recruited...and brought all his people home?
He was that kind of guy.

I voted for W too...twice! Can you picture our country after four years of Gore or Kerry? Well wait around two more years and you will consider why I voted for W.

Actually, I overall quite pleased with "my" Texas Senator. (The boy, not the girl one). He has some goofs on his record...but not many in my opinion, and they are forgivable because "compromise" is the great healer of our republic.

I shall not compromise with communists though. (pardon the shorthand.)

Michael L. Hauschild| 6.18.10 @ 4:48PM

Ken,
The Democrats are, as we speak preparing a political junket to Guam. The roster includes Alvin Green, Shelia Jackson and Bob Etheridge. They hope that they will be the straws that broke the camel’s back causing the island to roll over and drown them. Should this occur they will wake up Hank Johnson and throw another black politician under the bus.

Jeff Lee| 6.19.10 @ 8:08AM

Bush's fault.

jim Spence| 6.18.10 @ 10:56AM

Beware that Mr. Green is not a Susan Boyel moment!

Thunderbottom| 6.18.10 @ 11:33AM

Did you mean "Susan Boyle (the singer) moment" or a "Susan Bowel movement"?

C.Fowler| 6.18.10 @ 10:57AM

William Buckley Jr. once said he's rather be governed by first one hundred people in the Boston phone directory than the entire faculty of Harvard. Maybe after seeing how the elitists are ruling us, the Democrats in South Carolina thought they'd try that idea out with a man of the people. What will be interesting now is to see how the Democrat Party elite seeks to undo what the voters of that state did.

It also reminds me of the anger felt at Florida voters who may have voted for Buchanan instead of Gore (romeo, I mean) and Lieberman. Those votes, allegedly miscast, would have put al Gore in the White House.

FTM| 6.18.10 @ 1:18PM

I see a pattern here. Both major political parties are showing dismay a the electorate is putting people into elections that the party leadership don't support. The guy fron Massechusetts, the Paul guy in Kentucky, that woman in Nevada and now the Greene guy.

Now how is it that party leadership of either party frown upon the will of the people being expressed. Can one interpret from this disapproval that the party elites consider themselves to be "above" the electorate?

Gr0w1er| 6.18.10 @ 12:27PM

Quid pro quo. Things like this are bound to happen in open primary elections. Just look at Colorado.

Ray| 6.18.10 @ 12:33PM

I think I know why the democrat party leaders (and republicans, for that matter) are so shocked, so upset, about Greens's primary win. It completely negates their claims that money, in the form of political ads, unduly influences elections and that we need to limit campaign contributions in order to stop "a single rich guy" from domineering an election and/or limit the ads themselves just prior to the election itself.

Jim Thorpe| 6.18.10 @ 2:04PM

Alvin Green's election proves that negroes always vote for negroes. Green is a negro as are the majority of Democratic voters in South Carolina. Race is all that matters in the negro mind.

Curtis Rasmussen| 6.18.10 @ 4:31PM

That's bullshit. How do I know? I'm living proof.

rcv| 6.18.10 @ 11:49PM

Crawl back into your hole.

C LeMay| 6.19.10 @ 8:27AM

I must condemn your poor choice of words. Your use of the word "negro" is unfortunate. Nigger is the preferred nomenclature.

Curtis Rasmussen| 6.19.10 @ 7:58PM

The 'nigger' in charge will tell you what healthcare to buy, too bad if you don't want to participate. He is also taxing your hard earned pay to line the pockets of his cronies. This man controls you, what does that make you?

Sit and twist.

C LeMay| 6.22.10 @ 12:44PM

This "man" who actually is more simian than human, is an utter incompetent who will be neutered in November. So you sit and twist, you cretin.

Claudia Monteverdi| 6.18.10 @ 3:32PM

Jay--you are really on it this time---to Hades with the really unimportant subject matter, Who gives a ratsass about that gink? It's your immaculate, elegant and highly twisted use of words which sets my heart aflutter..So fine, Bravo Jay!
As to the above comments, they are all AOK but that of BRAM stands out as choice: your description of Mr Greene, but for the money angle (more later on Angle) is identical to that of the inept evil bufoon who now calls himself President of the Unite States....Miss Angle? Let's not gloat too soon.her record is replete with troublesome actions and nasty quotes..does she favour prohibition? Is she in some way attached to the Scientoligists, and sadly, etcetera... etcetera
Love,
Claudia
full disclosure..... Claudia Loves Jay and if you hate my spelling and grammar, be kind, this is my third language

Dean Cannon| 6.18.10 @ 4:23PM

Racist lily-white SC DemoKKKrats and their Judas goat-House Servant black supporters trying to lynch black Army Veteran's Senate bid.

Goat-Faced Wog| 6.22.10 @ 12:46PM

Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?

AMENBRO| 6.18.10 @ 5:00PM

I have lived and worked all over these Mountain Ranges and Fruited Plains. FOLKS IS FOLKS cept fer the LIBERAL VARIETY. YAWLS a certain STAIN species labeled DIMEST BULBICAS UMMMUNGUS.

I was transferred from St. Lois to Columbia, SC.

I distinctly remember when I pulled up to the house I rented in my own car with ILLINOIS license plates the next door neighbors grabbed the kids slammed the doors shuttered the windows and didn't speak fer pert near a month. Since kids play with kids & mine are no different I held a cook out in the neighbors honor since none of them were honorin our presence. One of the neighbors was an endearing English PROFESSOR as in LIMEY employed at the University of South Carolina. He shared with me that we were held suspect since having moved there with YANKEE license plates.

SHOOT FIRE AND SAVE THE MOLASSES YAWL. I've been a southerner all my life was learned & we were accepted into the fold.

Later on I was sittin in on a staff meeting & one of the drawling beauties with fake everything cept gold diggin designs kept poppin her gum and talkin about BUTCH. Turns out BUTCH sat on the BOARD of Directors. Next meeting she was lamenting that BUTCH finally discovered everything cept her bills was surgically or peroxide assisted.

Same meetings extolled overheard conversations of gardeners loosin fingers trying to trim hedges by picking up lawnmowers.

I know all you GD YANKEEs are going "SEE I TOLD YA" that all you southerners were stupid.

NOPE FOLKS FROM CHICAGO IS JUST AS STUUUPID cept on A GLOBAL STAGE YAWL
No i don't communicate like this all the time. It reads in my brain in a lexicon that serves my purposes. No apologies if it offends anyone.

After all its a free country YAWL. All the ABSOLUTELY PREVENTALBE CRAP comming at us these days requires a place this GOOD OLE BOY can go & find a place of solace that's all.

PEACE ,LOVE, CRASH PADS , HARE KHRISHNA, SOLID, RIGHT ON, and POWER TO THE PEOPLE ALl YOU GROOOVY CONSERVATIVES

Laurel Kornfeld | 6.18.10 @ 6:34PM

Yes, Pluto still is a planet. Please do not blindly accept the controversial demotion of Pluto, which was done by only four percent of the International Astronomical Union, most of whom are not planetary scientists. Their decision was immediately opposed in a formal petition by hundreds of professional astronomers led by Dr. Alan Stern, Principal Investigator of NASA’s New Horizons mission to Pluto. Stern and like-minded scientists favor a broader planet definition that includes any non-self-luminous spheroidal body in orbit around a star. The spherical part is important because objects become spherical when they attain a state known as hydrostatic equilibrium, meaning they are large enough for their own gravity to pull them into a round shape. This is a characteristic of planets and not of shapeless asteroids and Kuiper Belt Objects. Pluto meets this criterion and is therefore a planet.

AMENBRO| 6.18.10 @ 7:49PM

I agree with you completely.

SC & PLUTO ain't got sheep-dip ta dooo with the average intellectual acuity it takes to vote democrat. Non-Urban & hell no no Union here PO FOLK vote REPUBLICAN . After all REPUBLICANS put our hinnies to work.

Those possessive of a rash known as WHITE WHY IS I SO RICH LIBERAL GUILT are the intelligentsia that is easily swayed by crooks. Just look at all the SMART PEOPLE that get raped in the stock market by the 10,000,000 mile Flyer CARD CLUB who paid the freight to get our IGIT in Chief elected.

Funny GREENE & BAMMIE BAM got more than race in common. Neither ain't got much to say without a mouthpiece sayin it or writin it. Frankly I like Mr. Greene's style far more. At least he doesn't have an army of lap lickers following him around yet..

JmsA| 6.18.10 @ 6:42PM

BUSH DID IT!!! REALLY, BUSH DID IT.

LadyVet| 6.18.10 @ 7:15PM

I believe what the people of S. C. have said with this election is that they would prefer a rock to the anybody that is currently a politician. You would think that these election results would make the Dems pause and think about why the people would elect an unknown over a known candidate but it doesn't. They can't conceive of the possibility that the people are fed up with them and want something different, no, no, no Bush must have rigged the voting machines. Dream on dems, you are done in November.

Bob Grant| 6.18.10 @ 8:20PM

Along comes Alvin Greene to finally put to rest the notion that democrats cast uneducated votes.

PCC| 6.18.10 @ 8:37PM

Rupert Murdoch is an American billionaire who identifies himself as a Republican.

But, your point is made; I can't think of another one.

Nate| 6.19.10 @ 12:14AM

The notion that Greene is a "plant" is really silly. I suppose if the parties were reversed it's the sort of nonsense Glenn Beck would be breathlessly "covering" on his retarded television program.

DeMint could probably be voted KING of S. Carolina, if such a vote were held. The notion that the Repubs would somehow -- and I can't even fathom how it could be done -- "run" someone as a Democrat is just foolish.

Shamus| 6.19.10 @ 8:10AM

Lindsey Graham would be voted Clown Prince.

Shamus| 6.19.10 @ 8:14AM

Obama will use Supra Skytops once the committee determines whose ass to kick.

John Hinds| 6.19.10 @ 9:23AM

I heard Laura Ingrham interview this guy yesterday. He has an IQ of maybe 85. Ergo, I think it was a setup; an RNC hit team has to be behind this to embarrass the dems. Maybe the RNC was also behind the Rep. Etheridge youtube vid we have all seen. Interesting they are both from the Carolinas, eh?

Oldefarte| 6.19.10 @ 12:45PM

Someone[s] paid the $10000 fee to place Alvin Greene in nomination, and thereafter balacks/African-Americans saw his picture/face and typically voted for him [without either knowing/caring about his qualifications or lack thereof]. It's the sad truth in all elections, especially with black candidates, that African-Americans will always vote for the black candidate in a race regardless of qualifications. That's the SAD JOKE of this SC disaster for the Democratic Party!!!!!

Greg| 6.19.10 @ 5:40PM

Representative government! An unemployed veteran that has had some brushes with the law that lives with his dad. He will represent a lot of people. We have enough lawyer and elitist representatives.

Colin Foy| 6.19.10 @ 10:57PM

Now this is what I call a real "Dark Horse."

Nate| 6.20.10 @ 10:09PM

Dark horse?

Why?

Oh....wait. I get it. Because some of us aren't so clever as you, it takes us a little while to catch up.

The celerity and exuberance of your wit is simply spellbinding.

Dark horse -- because he's black. Hah! There's one to be proud of, Adolph.

Comenius| 6.20.10 @ 4:01AM

Homnick, You were wrond right out of the gate. Democrates aren't from Pluto. DEMOCRATS ARE FROM URANUS! Sorry. I tried to resist but couldn't stop myself.

Oy vey!| 6.20.10 @ 10:20AM

Democrats are from Hell.

Thomas J| 6.20.10 @ 12:48PM

"Ever hear of a property tax, also known as an estate tax?"

I believe an "estate tax" is a levy on an estate upon expiration of the owner. Also known as a death tax.

bemused| 6.20.10 @ 8:34PM

I don't know where else to post this, but maybe it sheds some light on South Carolina politics.

Last night, I met a former long-time Democratic congressman from South Carolina at a small party outside of Washington DC, and got a chance to speak with him at length. What an eye opener! But before I write about it, let me say that my father was a long-time Democratic staffer on the Hill, but my Hill "career" was limited to that of an elevator operator and low-level paper shuffler for a few years while I worked my way through school. In the past, my politics have been independent leaning conservative for fiscal issues, but more liberal for social issues. I am affiliated with no campaign and have no axe to grind here.

At the party, the congressman asked my politics, and I replied that I have become a Republican. He asked what I didn't like about Democrats and the Democratic Party. I replied that they have become the party that caters to those who want money for nothing, ie, ACORN, SEIU, AFSCME, teachers, low level bureaucrats, and so on. I bemoaned the fact that the Democratic party that my father worked for no longer existed, that there was no longer room for people who want to teach their kids the value of hard work, taxpayers are getting killed, small businesses are being put out of work, and that all Democrats want to do is spend my tax contributions for Democratic constituencies.

The congressman replied with many of the bromides that we have all heard before. The economy is Bush's fault. Economists "all agree" that the pump needs to be primed in an economic downturn by the government since the private sector isn't spending. Businesses are inherently evil, and we are living in an era just like the robber barons of the nineteenth century, before Teddy Rooseveldt saved the country from certain ruin. Therefore we need much more, not less, regulation. We all need to pay
'our fair share." More taxes don't hurt business.

The fact that I am a physician also led to considerable discussion about the need for a single payer system "like in France, where people live longer" and that teachers should make as much as doctors. Unfortunately, I forgot to reply that congressmen should probably be paid the same as teachers as well.

But here's the point of this post.

The congressman and I got to talking about why jobs are disappearing in this country. He bemoaned the fact that the largest textile mills in the United States used to be in South Carolina, but are all gone to China now. I suggested that the reasons were fairly obvious: taxes and regulation.

According to the Congressman, the owner of many of the now closed textile mills used to come into his congressional office and complain about the high taxes that he was forced to pay, and the wastage of public assistance funds that the mill owner saw all around him. According to the Congressman, these complaints included the factory owner seeing food stamps being used to buy alcohol at the local supermarket.

The congressman's reply? This is verbatim: "Now ___, if we didn't give "those people" that welfare money, they'd come and burn your factories down. Think of that welfare money as an insurance policy."

Is it just me, or is this the most dysfunctional reason that you have ever heard for public assistance programs? And how many generations does this need to continue?

fdsjk| 7.1.10 @ 5:04AM

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