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Ben Stein's Diary
Beverly Hills Night
Amid the jasmine, the swimming pool, and the Lakers.
Tuesday
I awakened in a
fine hotel room at the Hilton of the Americas in Houston, one of
my absolutely favorite cities. I was up at 6 AM, Houston time,
which is 4 AM my time. I am sort of still asleep thinking that I
am dreaming until I have my morning toast. Then I am awake. I
love toast. Also orange juice.
Anyway, I made my way down to the lobby to meet a lovely, capable young woman named Adrienne from The Washington Speakers’ Bureau. She escorted me over to a large meeting room at the next door convention center.
I waited just a few minutes to speak to the men and women of the International Dairy, Deli, and Bakery Association. I am so perfect for these people they cannot even imagine. I do all of the grocery shopping in my little family. I buy cheese, of many different kinds, sliced packaged meats and poultry, bagels, immense quantities of eggs, pre-made fried chicken. Milk. Bacon. It is insane how much dairy, deli and bakery stuff I buy.
The speech went well. I try to keep them laughing until the very end, then leave them with an uplift about the men and women who fight our wars and patrol our streets and put out the fires and guard the prisoners and teach the kids and parent the autistic.
It all went well, and then I strolled around the exhibit hall for a while. Great, great cookies, cheese, chips, dip, and the best of all, at the Pilgrim’s Pride booth, fantastically good fried chicken filets. Wow. I contemplated staying overnight just to eat more of those filets. They were so good it was sinful.
However, duty calls. I rode over to the airport, waited while thunderstorms rumbled through — standard for Houston — boarded my flight next to a female UPS truck driver who looked extremely sure of herself.
The weather in Beverly Hills was perfect when I got home. The temperature was about 72, with a slight hint of ocean moisture and a gentle breeze. Our front path has immense roses, which were open to greet me. The house is not particularly large, but it has a lot of nice flowers and the only grassy lawn on the block. Everyone else has put in parking lots for his Bentleys. But I don’t have no Bentley and don’t even care to have one, as Bob Dylan might have said.
I greeted the housekeeper, our wonderful Rosa (who has a Lexus and a home with a swimming pool and hard working, dutiful kids), and my feeble old dogs, who fall over if you even blow on them. I love them more each day.
Then I walked one short block down Carmelita, the street on our south to Rexford, the street just east of us. The air smelled sweetly, insistently of night blooming jasmine, which actually smells great starting in the late afternoon. It is a smell I associate with my time at UC, Santa Cruz, 37 years ago, when all the girls loved my thin, hip, long haired, Republican self and I didn’t have to buy them cars or bribe them or anything. There were night blooming jasmine all over the campus of College V.
The houses were immaculately landscaped, Bentleys everywhere, that fabulous breeze (why do breezes feel so good ?), and the slight tang of the Pacific in the air.
I felt as if I were in paradise.
I stopped at the crosswalk at Santa Monica Boulevard and Rexford for the crossing light to come on. Every person who passed waved to me, beeped to me, shouted out my name, shouted out, “Where’s Shaq” or “Clear Eyes” or “Bueller, Bueller.” Lots of people just said, “Hey, Ben.”
I love it.
I crossed the street, then walked into the Beverly Hills Library, a fine, modern structure, up a long flight of steps and thought, “I am about to vote. I am about to do something that human beings are rarely allowed to do. I am doing something that did not exist until America. I am doing something that Marines died for on Okinawa and Pelelieu and sailors drowned for and soldiers bled to death for and airmen were blown to pieces for. I am doing this with a vengeance.”
I walked into the polling room, and saw a familiar face. It was Judge Nancy Claypool, the lovely woman jurist who had officiated at the marriage of our son and his bride, Kitty. We talked cheerfully and then I voted. It was interesting. I was in the room about 20 minutes and did not see one Democrat voting. As Beverly Hills becomes more Iranian-Jewish, it is becoming politically conservative.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (20) | Leave a comment
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Brian Mc| 6.14.10 @ 7:05AM
"Not LUCK. BLESSINGS."
Nice eye opener for the morning coffee, Ben. Thanks for "Expelled", another eye opener.
Perez Bertolucci| 6.14.10 @ 7:51AM
Well, I'm just . . . dazzled . . . by your day and your . . . sweet . . . observations. I've just dropped my tissue on the floor . . . let me bend down and fetch it.
Alert1210| 6.14.10 @ 8:27AM
Thank you Mr Stein. I loved this story and the last one you wrote. We are indeed blessed.
Ken| 6.14.10 @ 9:18AM
Ben ....you have such a gift to verbally paint a picture. Thank you.
Maddox| 6.14.10 @ 11:00AM
I, too am blessed, blessed with the ability to work hard to afford the swimming pool sitting in the middle of the lawn, and the house I work to keep up. I am grateful to GOD for all HE has given me the ability to do.
Too bad our country is not blessed with leaders to do what is necessary to allow us to continue to enjoy the things we have earned.
Ed Elberson | 6.14.10 @ 12:15PM
Great!! I signed up.
F. Hannon| 6.14.10 @ 12:31PM
Take nothing that we have for granted, even, perhaps especially, the luxury of being able to smell the roses without that simple pleasure being unthinkable because, say, you've not a clue where your next meal's coming from, or maybe because ideological savages are roaming your neighborhood looking to shoot those who don't subscribe to their way of thinking.
Yes, never take what God affords most Americans for granted, including that a 2010 Boston Celtics Championship is now all but a fate accompli!
Dagny Taggert| 6.14.10 @ 12:53PM
Ben, you had me until the Lakers. I love your writing, but being a Bostonian, there's little on Earth I loathe more than the Lakers, and their fairweather fans. Now I can't recall with 100% certainty, but I don't believe I've heard you comment on the NBA before--maybe you are a tried and true fan. But I suspect like all the other Hollywood phonies that show up at the Staples center only when the national TV cameras are on, you "love" the Lakers now that it's down to the wire.
Pau Gasol isn't "tough as nails." Hardly. He's as euro-weenie and un-tough as the U.N. The C's exposed him in 2008, and despite all the talk of the "new and improved Pau," he only looks tough when his teammate Andrew Bynum is there to pick up the low-post defense. Since Bynum is playing with a torn meniscus, his twice-drained knee has let him down since the Tuesday game you've written about--thus two no-shows by Gasol, and a Celtics 3-2 series lead.
If anything, the Lakers are the anti-American team. Last night's loss featured Kobe lighting it up for 38 points and the rest of his team scoring 48. The primadonna stud player trying to do it all on his own in a team game. Personal glory versus the unsung team approach of the work-pail Celtics. The Celtics haven't had the same player lead the team in scoring two games in a row since the playoffs started. Kobe leads the Lakers almost every night. The Celts have taken down the #1, #2 and hopefully #3 (with the Lakers) best teams in the league. They have shut down 3 of the best players in the league (Wade- MIA, LeBron-CLE, Howard-ORL) and working on #4. They are the underdogs who selflessly fight toward team goals.
I love you for your patriotism, but if there was ever a team that represented all the best that the USA has to offer, it's a lot more Boston Celtics Green, than the LA Lakers Purple.
Michael P. Walsh, MM| 6.14.10 @ 2:21PM
Ben,
You said, "To think that within the lifetime of my great grandparents, men and women like this were routinely owned by people, could be worked to death, could be beaten, raped, had no rights at all. It is incredible. How horrible and how far we have come. To think that in my lifetime Jews like me were consistently murdered just for the "crime" of existing, is blood curdling. "
The operative copulative is "are". Plenty of Africans are still being held in slavery, plenty of Jews still liable to be killed for the crime of having been Chosen. Guess by whom.
Old Soldier| 6.14.10 @ 4:57PM
I get the same feelings driving around my town on the weekends. Damn this is nice.
charlene| 6.14.10 @ 11:39PM
Wow. Brilliant.
Highlander 747| 6.15.10 @ 12:02AM
Ben, you are truly a delight who I would love to meet some time. Your observations on life et al are such as to bring laughter, a few tears, and a sigh, to me a grateful reader. But as far as the Lakers are concerned, sorry dude, they are done. Go Celtics!!! Beat LA!!!!!
Johnimo| 6.15.10 @ 2:55AM
Isn't "Ben" the one who thinks the rich should pay higher taxes? No wonder his life is so delightful. I hike above timberline and have perfectly beautiful days. Nobody's taking an extra penny of mine without one helluva fight. And all the taxes from all the rich won't buy the dreams of the left ... so they'll need my taxes too. The beautiful days will be over soon because some think they can be purchased with higher taxes.
Rich Rostrom| 6.15.10 @ 3:20AM
Ben: "I am about to vote... something that did not exist until America."
Please. There were elections long before America. Switzerland had elections in the 1300s. Rome was a republic ("res publica") centuries before Christ. America is a great country, but we didn't invent democracy - the Greeks did ("demos kratos").
Todd| 6.15.10 @ 2:55PM
Iran won't get the bomb will it, will it any body knows?
Truth is I cannot believe Obama will not at least encourage that Green movement over in Iran at least once or twice a week. There was something a while back about some of the non-violent things we should do for the Iranian protesters. Give there leaders some semi-secure satellite phones. Sure the government can listen in but it is a lot harder and will miss a lot, will be harder to find and in general be safer. Second create a strike found so the oil workers can walk off the job for a couple of months and cut off Iran's money.
tony dancel| 6.16.10 @ 6:32PM
Ben, Don't rest too much, its great God gave America so much. So we need to defend the country from the lunatics and despots that want to destroy our country. It is just a matter of time when Iran will be bombed. Its long overdue, Israel will pull the trigger and there is nothing the U.N. can do to stop it. Wall st will take a hit but
may recover later. Buy more Gold, no stocks...
Bob Askey| 6.17.10 @ 12:16AM
Ben, you appreciate your awareness of the good life you have. We all have good lives of some degree, and we all need to think about how good life is and can be. Thank you for your plain speaking and clear understanding.