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Ben Stein's Diary
Two Days in Washington
Suddenly last winter — from Ben’s monthly Diary.
Wednesday
Here I am in my apartment at the Watergate. I flew in this evening
after giving a speech this morning to an absolutely great, great
group of real estate people from a company called Edina Realty in
St. Paul, Minnesota. Really smart, alert, good-natured people. By
total coincidence, it’s a small part of my beloved Berkshire
Hathaway.
I told them that there was no such thing as a real estate correction that never stopped. There was no such thing as a down part of the cycle without an up part of the cycle. Naturally, I told them I was their best friend because I love real estate so much, and that real estate was the most tax-favored investment there is, mostly because the imputed rent home-owners receive is tax free. That’s not to mention the deduction for mortgage interest and great plays on capital gains on sale, which all go to make real estate a super buy over long periods.
I also let them know that if you find a great house you love and you can afford it, you should not try to wait until the very bottom of the market: you should just snap it up right away, because one rarely finds houses one falls in love with. In 20 years, as I told them, they won’t even remember what they paid for the house, but they will have had 20 years of extremely great pleasure living in the home.
We had a fabulous time, and then I went back to my hotel to nurse my horrible toothache. This toothache came upon me quite suddenly two days ago just as I was about to leave town on a flying tour. The dentist looked at it and a periodontist looked at it and they said that someone had done something wrong with a root canal repair two years ago and I would need to have it extracted. I cannot do this for a few days and meanwhile the pain is hideous. Like no other pain I have ever felt. I have taken so much aspirin for it today I think I must have poisoned myself. I could take Percodan, and that would surely kill the pain dead. But I don’t want to turn into a drug fiend. I guess no one wants to be a drug fiend.
So, I am suffering and I don’t like it. I hate this. There is a reason it’s called “pain.” I cannot do a darned thing about it for a good five days and it is extremely upsetting.
Well, on the other hand, Scott Brown won in Massachusetts. And won big. Over that witch, Martha Coakley. That tormenting witch from outer space. Pour water on her and see if she melts.
I wonder if Mr. Obama gets what’s going on here. To lose Massachusetts? To lose Ted Kennedy’s seat? I wonder if he gets that voters don’t really trust him or his grandiose schemes. I wonder if he thinks maybe he tried to do too much too fast. Or does he think it’s all racism? It is astonishing how fast the rubber band snapped back on Mr. Obama. He is obviously a likeable guy. But he’s starting to remind me of those Third World dictators who take office and try a million huge schemes at once and really what they’re doing is enriching their friends. I guess I am thinking this because some kind soul sent me aerial photos of some of the housing in Illinois that Mr. Obama and his slumlord pals are involved in. It sure looks as if he was just getting public money for his unscrupulous pals and then getting some of it kicked back to him in campaign contributions.
This reminds me of just why we elected him in the first place…Well, I think I know but I won’t say. You are not allowed to tell non-PC truths in this country nowadays.
Now that I think of it, is Barack Obama really that likeable? I mean, all politicians are pretty likeable. That’s their job. And he is certainly a politician. But maybe he has made himself a little less likeable by appearing on TV so much.
Maybe there is such a thing as overexposure, even for Barack Obama. I keep remembering my beloved late aunt from a small town in Arkansas. She expired just as the election was raging and the last conversation we had was about Mr. Obama. “I don’t like him,” she said. “He’s arrogant.”
Possibly that’s the way other people see him, too. Anyway, he should have taken it slow and easy for his first year and worked only on fighting the terrorists and the recession. I guess he should know that now but he doesn’t, because he’s already preparing a new assault on Wall Street. I agree Wall Street is highly blameworthy, but will attacking them right now end the recession?
THURSDAY
What a day. I spent the afternoon at Walter Reed Army Medical
Center. I met a man who had been shot by a Taliban hidden in the
Afghan Army. He had been shot while urinating at an outside
latrine. The bullets had, among other things, killed his pancreas.
By a medical miracle, doctors at WRAMC transplanted cells from his
pancreas to his liver — and now, in a true feat of genius and
God’s gifts, the soldier is doing well. Apparently this is a major
medical first.
I met another man who had been shot in his bunk by a careless, stupid fellow soldier who was cleaning his machine gun. The man was playing with the charging lever and did not notice that there were three rounds somehow left in his M-249, all of which hit this poor brave soldier I met today. He will likely always walk with a severe limp at the very least. How could anyone be that idiotic?
The amazing thing is that the man who did this is not even in prison. He is still serving in the field. He may be prosecuted later, but the story gets worse. The Army mistakenly told the victim’s family that he was dead of self-inflicted wounds and this part is inexcusable.
Someone should be held accountable for this tragedy and for terrifying the family.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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Kenny| 3.29.10 @ 7:04AM
Dave Gergen is as loathsome as a Washington insider can get.
Howard| 3.29.10 @ 7:52AM
I wouldn't go that far. However, he is the Mainstream Media "House Conservative". Someone they can bring in from the plantation who is not embarrassing to them. He will mouth just enough conservative rhetoric to appear "real", but mostly snicker at the conservative movement. Sort of like a self hating Jew who still goes to High Holiday services out of tradition.
Adheeb| 3.29.10 @ 12:33PM
David Gergen was the 'Conservative Voice' on Public Television's "News Hour" years ago. He and Mark Shields (the liberal) put on a 'conservative/liberal' dog & pony show every evening with Jim Leher. That is until Gergen started working for Bil Clinton. Let me ask, how could a conservative work for Bill Clinton? Fact is, he can't and Gergen is no conservative. He's creepy!
Jim O'Brien| 3.29.10 @ 8:26AM
The solider with the machine gun would be in jail now if he accidentally shot a captured terrorist instead of a fellow soldier. Remember the Navy Seals?
How did Obama get elected? Well, people said "isn't this cool, we have a nice, bright young black guy to vote for, and a) he's a fellow minority; b) I would really feel bad if I voted for that mean, washed-up, old fart, war monger, honkey named McCain; or c) Obama is just like a black movie star or professional sports player. Never mind that Obama is a "post-American" socialist who thinks our Constitution has major defects which he intends to "correct".
Now, after the "health care" legislation, people are waking up just a bit. They are asking (I hope): "If the government can force me to buy medical insurance (or pay a fine/tax), could the government also force me to take a drug which it deems essential to "protect" the general welfare and health of the country?" When does this invasion of life, liberty and property stop?
philhoey| 3.29.10 @ 8:53AM
Ben - remember all those crazies from the 60's? They are now running the place. They are totally clueless on how to do anything except bully people.
Hope you get the tooth fixed soon. That can tend to ruin your whole day.
Bob K| 3.29.10 @ 9:09AM
Hi Ben:
Wonderful Walmart!? The Great Chinese Outlet Store! Buy from it in bulk, use it once and throw the rest away. There is more where it came from, right?
Get down into fly over country once in a while, OK? Visit a Walmart there and see how grubby it is and the next day bring your partly used bottle of shampoo back and give it to one of the store's employees who is making minimum wage. He or she will appreciate your kindness!
Bob K.
KPitts| 3.29.10 @ 11:35AM
Bob K:
Were you born a moron or did you have to take a course?
Love & Kisses,
-JKP
Nashville, TN
Tim| 3.29.10 @ 11:48AM
If a writer retires does he become a "wroter"?
Calligrapher | 3.29.10 @ 8:28PM
Yes, unless they try and write him off, then he becomes a writtenwroter. These are writers who just couldn't make it, and take early retirement.
TURK| 3.29.10 @ 11:55AM
Ben Love your writing with it's unabashed patriotism. Don't share your fondness for Gergen. May have been a great boss but I agree with the loathsome tag. His sucking up to the leftists (beginning with Clinton) is, and has been,despicable! I might say his conduct for years resembles the harlotry of the casting couch so perpetuated there in hollywood!
Nevertheless, I say, you are a great American(as was your father)! Best wishes.
David| 3.29.10 @ 12:11PM
Mr. Stein, I have never understood how people can say that any politician is likeable when the person's political, social, and ethical positions are diametrically opposed to the people who claim the pol is likeable. Is it a pol's smile that does it? Or the fact that he can string coherent sentences together? In the case of this prez, without saying anything substantive.
I do not like Obama, or Reid, or Pelosi, or the vast number of democrats I have watched and listened to over the years. I just don't understand how it is possible for someone to be likeable when they are bent on destroying the economic, social, and moral systems that have so American so well since its founding.
Kelpius| 3.29.10 @ 12:15PM
Gergen, the "Talking Thumb" -- God only knows why he's among DC's go-to wise men, putting out such boring canned blah-blah time after time; rivals EJ Dionne as TV talker w/ fewest interesting or moving remarks per appearance.
David| 3.29.10 @ 12:19PM
I would like to continue my last post with an example.
Suppose you have a son or daughter who has a friend who is good-looking, articulate, smooth, popular with classmates, etc. But, that person influences your child in ways that cause him/her to not study as much, to skip a day of school once in a while, to not work hard for what they want, to expect things to be given to them, etc.
Now, would you say that your child's friend's is likeable? I don't think so. You would not want your child to spend time with that fellow. You would probably do everything you could to encourage your child to find friends who were productive and who understand how the real world works. That you don't get by on a smile and confidence and smooth talking. True?
Cuffs| 3.29.10 @ 1:18PM
Ben!!! Obama a politician??
He is an empty suit. Someone behind the
scenes winds the key in his back, puts the
telepromplter in place and off he goes.
Watch him very carefully when he speaks--
cold, black eyes and phony passion. The man
is obsessed with doing him masters' work.
Copyleft| 3.29.10 @ 1:45PM
You see Ben? If you had only supported the comprehensive health care plan that our president and congress gave us you wouldn't have that toothache!
Dave Williams| 3.29.10 @ 1:45PM
Dear Mr. Stein,
Obama a nice guy???? Puh-LEEZE! Although it reflects well on you to say so, it does not reflect a very trustworthy view of reality. The guy is an arrogant, vicious Chicago pol (forgive the redundancy) who doesn't understand America, hates it, and is working tirelessly to change it to a Euroweenie state. This is, to put it mildly, not "nice" at all. November 2012 can't come soon enough, and I sure hope he smokes a LOT of cigarettes between now and then.
Frank Drackman | 3.29.10 @ 2:43PM
10% Indoor Tanning Tax?!??!?! How the eff is this not a violation of the 1st, 9th, and 10th ammendments, not to mention all the Civil Rights Acts that Klansman Robert Byrd filibustered???
Wheres the Watermelon Surcharge? the Malt Liquor Excise Tax? the Afro-Sheen Impact Fee???
Revolutions have started over less...
Let my People TAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Frank Drackman, Tanner
Forever Marine| 3.29.10 @ 2:51PM
Ben, I love ya, but you are waaay to nice and always the prefect gentleman. I don't mind if you are not PC every once in awhile. You are a patriot and do appreciate the sacrifice of everyone that holds America's principles dearly.
But the guy in the White House is trying, on purpose, to kill us economically, socially, and physically. It's all planned and he is well on his way.
Joe| 3.29.10 @ 4:14PM
Please read Mr. Sowell book on the subject. The government was more to blame than anyone in this mess and who is going to jail with them. How about Freddie Mac/Fannie Mae. How about all those poor individuals who bought homes they knew they could not afford with frauduant information. There is blame to go around and all should have been fined or sent to jail depending on the law.
GHD | 3.29.10 @ 9:42PM
The guy is an arrogant, vicious Chicago pol (forgive the redundancy) who doesn't understand America, hates it, and is working tirelessly to change it to a Euroweenie state.
adheeb| 3.30.10 @ 8:52AM
I like Ben Stein but not all of his friends.
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