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Another Perspective
Job-Spotters
Joe Biden reports today on job creation and the greening of America.
Like members of the Audubon Society on a major bird-sighting mission, members of Barack Obama’s Cabinet fanned out across the United States this week on a job-sighting mission aimed at supporting the president’s claim that last year’s $787 billion stimulus package was not a total waste of money. They found no fewer than 40 red-throated loons, a glaucous gull, 25 Iceland gulls, 220 razorbills, and several thousand Canada geese. Unfortunately, however, apart from a few sickly chicks living in federal incubators, they could not find a single job capable of independent flight and life in the wild.
Vice President Joe Biden will meet with President Barack Obama later today to report on the failure of this mission. I was able to get an advance copy of this semi-scripted event, with the president speaking from the teleprompter, as he always does when speaking to school children, and with Vice President Biden doing his part by speaking out of turn and acting as the class clown. Here is the copy of today’s conversation in the Oval Office:
Veep: Hey, POTUS, notice anything different about me?
President: You look as goofy as ever to me.
Veep: The tan, man, the tan. We could be bros, bro. I got that from spending half the damned day in a solar panel factory in Saginaw, Michigan, of all places. Talk about a boondoggle! Why are we wasting taxpayers’ money on this kind of stuff?
President: You said it yourself, Joe. It’s that ‘three-letter word,’ as you called it: J-O-B-S, jobs. Remember, that’s why I sent you to Saginaw. You were supposed to bring back proof of all those green jobs we’re creating.
Veep (laughing): That’s a good one, Mr. President, but let’s be serious here. If it’s green jobs we want, why not spend our money making leprechauns and green beer on St. Patrick’s Day?
President: So tell me at least one job I’ve created.
Veep: You’re making this too easy for me, Mr. President. You gave me my job. Who else would have done that, especially after I called you the “storybook” man — “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy”?
President: You may be the vice president, but remember who is running the show here. I am the change we seek. You — and the rest of the universe — are just along for the ride.
Veep: My, my, my! Aren’t we being a tad delusional? Just joking, Mr. President. You know me.
President: Yes, I know you. And now I want you to stop joking and get serious about telling people about all the good things that have happened because I decided to go on a spending rampage. Tell them about all those ‘green jobs’ that we are creating. And don’t forget to tell them that none of this is going to add a dime to the deficit. Not one single dime. Now get the hell out of here.
About the Author
Andrew B. Wilson, a frequent contributor to The American Spectator, writes from St. Louis.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (26) | Leave a comment
More Articles by Andrew B. Wilson
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Melvin| 2.17.10 @ 7:55AM
Joe Biden has made a quite successful career in promoting himself as a utter complete pompous jackass.
Fear not my fellow Americans. We will indeed one day be free of these self-promoting, spray tanned, and botoxed professional political buffoons.
Because they will have only but two options. To have angry Americans march on Washington D.C. and physically throw them out, or they can leave willingly by not running for re-election either way they will be gone.
Jim O'Brien| 2.17.10 @ 8:35AM
The U.S. economy has lost 2.7 million jobs since the "stimulus" passed and 3.4 million since Obama was elected. But Obama says he has created or "saved" jobs --- an outright lie. Government doesn't create jobs, it just spends our tax money or increases the national debt beyond already obscene levels. At the same time, it sucks capital away from private enterprise, which is the real job creator.
REt. Marine| 2.17.10 @ 10:25AM
yeah Joe, they are right on their target and then tell us it's raining while they are piss'n on our legs. See, tow jobs created already, tow the party line of lies of else.
Bill Hussein O'Stalin| 2.17.10 @ 12:12PM
Joe Biden is one of the most well spoken men in America, until he opens his mouth.
reads1| 2.17.10 @ 2:17PM
I am amazed in reading the variety of comments directed to so many problems facing this country,
But, there is one HUGE problem being overlooked. That is the great disparity created in the AVERAGE wage of those in the Private sector and those in Government. Private sector, $40,000.+.. Government sector, $70,000.+ This does not account for the gold plated perks and retirement benefits that accrue to the Government lackey!! Do the math!
Pingback| 2.17.10 @ 2:20PM
The American Spectator : AmSpecBlog : The Mount Vernon Statement (mount vernon statem links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
al wilson| 2.17.10 @ 2:29PM
I saw this jackass speak at my daughter's graduation at Syracuse in May. He promoted himself and his "efforts" to end the Vietnam war. The Chancellor of the school (a big liberal), couldn't say enough good things about him to the extent that she mostly ignored the graduates. People in attendance stood-up for him but I didn't. I looked at a couple that was seated and said to them that he was such a jerk and she agreed. Many of the liberal zombies left right after his "speech". What do you expect from another liberal, no brain, institution.
megapotamus | 2.17.10 @ 2:38PM
Public salary inflation is way off the rez, no doubt. Not only are they hiring more bodies, they are paying them much, much more and that is happening at the state and county level, too. But absent job creation nothing else will matter. On the piece, it's fairly cute but a bit below the caliber I would ordinarily expect from Amspec but one substantive quibble; the total stim bill is now a bit over 850b since the pledge to cover extended unemployment bennies ballooned due to oversubscription. Thing is, given total national unfunded liabilities, somewhere near the 200 trillion range, none of this struggle for the annual revenues and deficits matters a bit. Even O's total proposed budget is less than 1% of total debt. All entitlements will either be radically dialed back or collapse. No one is out there recommending the tough cuts now so the debt increases. Treasuries must pay greater interest and the debt compounds. The dollar looses purchasing power so inflation escalates the debt still further. There is no out at this point except collapse. If we are fortunate it will merely be a collapse in currency.
Joseph Harriss | 2.18.10 @ 4:45AM
Well, Mega, you might be right on the math--I must admit my aging mind begins to boggle when we get into percentages of billions and trillions of unfunded liabilities. But Wilson is a helluva writer and I found his piece very funny indeed.
Pingback| 2.18.10 @ 7:44AM
The American Spectator : Job-Spotters | Drakz News Station links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
shipley130| 2.18.10 @ 10:58PM
I didn't realize a pet rock could report anything.
Yosemeti Sam| 2.19.10 @ 2:26PM
" ... job-sighting mission...."
Um, how about tallying W4 forms?
Why?
Cause, reportedly, filling out a W-4 is one of the first things you do when you start a new job.
Let's all see where the million or so new jobs
have been created - by town, village, city, state
etc.
IRS statisticians - to the keyboards!
LOL.
watches | 4.28.10 @ 11:47PM
hublot
Puma x Alexander McQueen | 8.12.11 @ 11:56PM
is good