The American Spectator : Super Bowl Beefs

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Super Bowl Beefs

By Lisa Fabrizio on 2.10.10 @ 6:06AM

The game was fine, but the packaging -- ghastly.

I'm as big a sports fan as the next person when it comes to my favorite teams. And I've had some good luck rooting for the Yankees and my homestate Huskies of UCONN. On the other hand, it is my unfortunate lot to be a longtime fan of the Chicago Bears and as such, once in a blue moon football is still important to me after Christmas. But this year, like most, left me to watch the big game as a disinterested party. And although I have a hard time watching even Monday Night Football with all its attendant nonsense, I figured that maybe the Super Bowl -- dominated as it was by squeaky clean Peyton Manning and company -- might be different this year.

Unaccustomed as I am to the offerings of network television without benefit of the mute button, watching the game at my local bar was a nightmare on many fronts, not the least of which was the constant cacophony blasting out of surround-sound speakers. Now many in the crowd at my preferred watering hole are knowledgeable football folks, but there were more than a few who looked forward to what they consider the "good parts" of the telecast: the obligatory, deafening rock-and-roll halftime show and the bizarre and vulgar commercials; neither group was disappointed.

Now the game was a surprisingly good one, with the outcome in doubt down to the final minutes. Still, to the eyes and ears of this viewer, the non-football portions of the telecast did not justify the total excruciating experience. As usual, the glee enjoyed by the great majority of those at the bar during commercial breaks was not shared by yours truly. Only a few friends and I stared with blank confusion at what we assumed were attempts to sell products through some perverted sense of shock and awe.

And so we were treated to commercials that featured; old people brutalized, smarmy sexual comments placed on the lips of babies, screaming chickens, endless promos for movies featuring things demonic, countless folks being punched and slapped around and even an ad where a child cracks one of his mother's boyfriends across the face...what fun! I'm not sure what products were being touted by most of these endeavors, but suffice to say that I will never eat another Dorito.

And of course, spots with cutesy animals cozying up to hot babes were much in evidence also. Now, a big deal was made of the comical complaints from feminists about the Tim Tebow ad, yet am I the only woman in America who thinks their efforts would be more effective against perennial Super Bowl commercials which suggest that any and all kinds of animals would be welcome sex partners?

Men in underwear seemed to be a popular subject in two ads, the more objectionable one having something to do with casual Fridays. Of course, the guffaws and groans it produced were because those overflowing their undies were mostly unattractive middle-aged men. Not so, however, at halftime when we were treated to entirely too much skin from aging Baby Boomer Pete Townsend and friends who were wildly cheered by the adoring mob. Indeed, were there more level-headed and honest women watching the performance, I would not have been the only one to look upon the paunch of Townshend and shout: Button up, please!

Speaking of The Who and their mind-numbing performance, just when did it become law that football -- and indeed most of our culture -- must be ruled by the banality of rock and roll; that atrociously leveling concept that music is to be made by any dolt with access to an electric guitar or a set of drums?

When one thinks of the golden age of football, NFL films with their glorious soundtracks come to mind, along with the stentorian tones of John Facenda, "the voice of God." Today, even the shortest clip must be accompanied by crashing guitars or creepy rappers with canned clichés shouted at earsplitting levels: he-could-go-all-the-way!

But not to worry, discerning sports fans. Spring will soon be in the air. And in more serene events like The Masters or the World Series, despite the hype that surrounds them, it is most notably the baseball or the golf that is the highlight of the telecast. No one ever discusses or even notices ads that air during them; indeed, fans long for the end of the commercials rather than look forward to them. And blessedly, there are no halftime shows.

topics:
Television, Super Bowl, Commercials

About the Author

Lisa Fabrizio is a columnist who hails from Connecticut (mailbox@lisafab.com).

Letter to the Editor View all comments (26) | Leave a comment

Appleby| 2.10.10 @ 6:27AM

Since we in Kanukistan were forbidden to watch the Superbowl commercials -- instead we were treated to relentlessly repeated advertising for the Vancouver Olympics, as if being told 37,000 times that the Olympics start Friday in snow-challenged Vancouver would be much safer for us than what you describe -- perhaps, madame, you would have preferred to have watched that game up here.

And should you not have been out buying shoes or weeping over *Dear John* -- okay, it was full of sex, but maybe it was TASTEFUL sex?

How old are you, anyway?

DLB| 2.10.10 @ 7:12AM

Uh, Lisa... Payton Manning & Co. didn't "dominate" the Super Bowl -- they lost by two touchdowns. Who Dat!

Tom| 2.10.10 @ 9:34AM

I am pretty sure she meant the hype was dominated by Manning. But that is only pretty sure...

Darin| 2.10.10 @ 7:12AM

If you really want a difference experience, watch the Super Bowl (or any TV show) as televised by the Armed Force Network (AFN) overseas. There are no commercials. None. AFN cannot show commercials because it would be considered government endorsement of specific companies or products. Instead, we get messages from commanders on upcoming local events and spots on the dangers of drinking and driving and so forth. After being exposed to such toned-down "commercials" during deployments (a very refreshing change, by the way), it's quite a shock to the system to get home and be exposed to the endless depravity shown in almost all commercials.

James Bremner| 3.19.10 @ 7:35AM

Thank you for your service Darrin!

LaneyB| 2.10.10 @ 7:32AM

If I am correct, most of the populaton is under fifteen and over forty-five and over fifty percent is composed of women. To judge from the commericials aired during the game, the only segment of the population worth considering is adolescent boys and immature "men" between the ages of twenty-one and thirty. To wit, the output was childish,sexist, lewd and devoted to the fantasies of immature males devoted to pranks, vulgarity, obsessions with nudity, and the moking of any degree of responsbility. If there was humor in the offerings, it fell lame as most watching the telecast from all reports were stumped. Perhaps the advertisers and their media gurus are just as immature and silly as their ads. Sad commentary on what our culture thinks is trendy and relevant. Sounds like our governments.

LaneyB| 2.10.10 @ 7:33AM

If I am correct, most of the population is under fifteen and over forty-five and over fifty percent is composed of women. To judge from the commercials aired during the game, the only segment of the population worth considering is adolescent boys and immature "men" between the ages of twenty-one and thirty. To wit, the output was childish,sexist, lewd and devoted to the fantasies of immature males devoted to pranks, vulgarity, obsessions with nudity, and the mocking of any degree of responsibility. If there was humor in the offerings, it fell lame as most watching the telecast from all reports were stumped. Perhaps the advertisers and their media gurus are just as immature and silly as their ads. Sad commentary on what our culture thinks is trendy and relevant. Sounds like our governments.

Mark Mayfield| 2.10.10 @ 9:19AM

'Deafening' half time show?

Turn down the tv...

Matt Morehouse| 2.10.10 @ 10:13AM

I have this really neat little button on my remote I think it is labeled, "Mute".

Half time is my time to catch up on email, take a shower, and get dinner started.

GB| 2.10.10 @ 10:47AM

I use the mute button for all commercials. I also watch most all sporting events with no sound. My wife and kids think I'm nuts but it's the only way to go.

NavyBrat| 2.10.10 @ 10:25AM

..."the banality of rock and roll; that atrociously leveling concept that music is to be made by any dolt with access to an electric guitar or a set of drums?"

Gimme a break. While I'm not the BIGGEST Who fan, they are one of the pioneers of classic rock. Anyone who likes blues & old school country should appreciate decent rock like The Who. I suppose, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Clapton, & Zepplin all suck too, right? "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

Alan Brooks| 2.10.10 @ 10:53AM

ghastly=dumbed down=21st century.

Dave| 2.10.10 @ 11:07AM

So, Lisa's uninterested because her Bears arent' in the hunt? Well, I'd offer condolences but I'm a Rams fan and have to deal with my own medications.

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE??

Jenny Johnston| 2.10.10 @ 11:17AM

I agree with Lisa. Watching the half-time show and Townshend's belly really made me go "eewww".

As the Who was performing, all I could think was "these guys are REALLY old. What do their teenage grandchildren think of them?"

As far as the ads go - there were only two that I liked. One was the "Green Police" - sad because it could be true - and the Google "boy meets girl" ad.

Ken (Old Texican)| 2.10.10 @ 12:52PM

Hey ladies...gripe gripe gripe, (smile).

ITS A FOOTBALL GAME!

Two fine teams, who cares if you go shopping during the commercials.

PS: Halftime is for we men to go to the bathroom and get another beer. Heh.

Carol| 2.10.10 @ 1:04PM

For those snarking about the "mute" button. She did say she watched it in a bar. With a big sound system. I doubt she had access to "mute".

Just sayin'

astorian| 2.10.10 @ 1:04PM

Well, thanks to that Super Bowl commercial, every man who drives a Dodge Charger might as well have a bumper sticker saying, “Yes, I’m a spineless, henpecked loser, and this car is my pathetic attempt at asserting my manhood.”

NOT TO WORRY| 2.10.10 @ 1:17PM

Lisa you OBVIOUSLY are a communist. ;

NOT TO WORRY| 2.10.10 @ 1:26PM

WELL, I tried to put a smiley in to show that I was making a joke about the communist stuff and the software deleted the rest of my post... which said

Worry not the GOD BARACK will have all of this disgusting superbowl wretched excess fixed by this time next January when we will be able to enjoy the Super Soccer Bowl with DPRK style flash card sections and mass rhythmic dance at halftime and all commercials to be done by HIMSELF and Madame Obama extolling all of us to more sacrifice to help right the evils of Bush for the good of the fatherland.

Dave| 2.10.10 @ 1:38PM

The commercial featuring folks in their underwear was creepy and disturbing. The people responsible for it should be jailed.

Tim| 2.10.10 @ 1:46PM

Man, am I glad I'm not married to her.

Jabberwok| 2.10.10 @ 2:39PM

Well, she could have just NOT WATCHED IT. I am not a fan of American-rules football, so I don't watch it at all. Or she could have recorded it then watched it at her leisure and fast-forwarded through the parts she was not interested in. Then she wants to focus on The Masters and World Series? Hmmm, she must enjoy inertia.

astorian| 2.10.10 @ 3:17PM

Incidentally, I'm old enough to have seen Super Bowl 5, where the entire halftime show was Anita Bryant singing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic."

If that's the alternative, give me more 70 year old British Invasion bands.

Becky| 2.10.10 @ 4:28PM

I agree with the PT shirt malfunction, could have done without it. Not much funny in the commercials, like the original Etrade baby better. Watched to see the Tebow flap and it was over before I knew what it was.

Marc Jeric| 2.10.10 @ 6:51PM

That garbage noise during the half-time "show" was an assault on human intelligence and nervous system. I am 77 and my two friends, both only 50, watching the Super Bowl game with me were touched to tears listening to that senseless noise. The only thing I heard was a savage attack on my ears, totally idiotic and nerve-wracking.