The Environmental Spectator
Henny-Penny and the Killer Molecule
Ice melts, creating killer water.
When I went around to the barnyard to look in on Henny-Penny, founder and recording secretary of The Holy Order of The Sky is Falling (Al Gore, Pontiff), I found her pacing about, with a steely look in her eyes.
Me: You don’t look happy.
Ms. H-P: I’m not. I’m a free-range chicken and I am ranging this yard to think out a solution to a new threat to the human race. One of the Pontiff’s people just called to tell me about a molecule that people overdose on and die of every day. We’ll have to get the EPA to do something about it.
Me: What’s the molecule?
Ms.H-P: Dihydrogen monoxide.
Me (stifling a laugh): Sounds toxic, but that’s actually just another name for good old H20, water.
Mrs. H-P: Are you sure? That would be a great relief, but why would the Pontiff’s people become so alarmed?
Me: As we’ve discussed before, your Pontiff believes a lot of things that aren’t true. You’ll recall his recent interview on National Public Radio when he said the temperature at the core of the earth is “millions of degrees.” If that were true, the planet would have burned to the size of a charcoal briquet eons ago. The sun’s temperature is only about 10,000 degrees.
Ms. H-P: I hardly know what to believe any longer.
Me: Here’s something you can believe and it’s good news, for it means that your worries that the sky is falling and that the planet is warming at an alarming rate may soon be over. As you know, The UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the IPCC, every six years publishes a report that’s supposed to be an authoritative assessment of scientific evidence of climate change.
Ms. H-P: Yes
Me: Recently, the IPCC was forced to retract its claim that Himalayan glaciers are melting rapidly. The claim was based on a non-peer-reviewed report by the World Wildlife Fund. The Daily Telegraph in London then did an investigation of other IPCC claims and came up with some lulus.
Ms. H-P: Such as?
Me: Such as the IPCC’s claim that mountain ice in the Andes, Alps and Africa was declining. It turns out that one of the two sources it quoted was an article published in a popular mountain climbers’ magazine, based on anecdotal evidence from climbers who had noticed changes.
The other source was a dissertation for a Master’s degree written by a Swiss student who quoted interviews of Alpine guides.
About the Author
Peter Hannaford was closely associated for a number of years with the late President Reagan, beginning in the California Governor’s office. His latest book is Presidential Retreats.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (44) | Leave a comment
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michigander_sandusky| 2.4.10 @ 7:31AM
I predict that the glaciers will melt and the sky just might fall. Not from global warming, but from the steam emanating from Dr. Rajendra Pachauri's (chair of the UN's panel on climate change) racy "romance" novel. What a joke! These people could screw up the proverbial iron bar. Check it out here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ear.....ntist.html
Gus Hall| 2.4.10 @ 8:28AM
I thought Henny Penny (H-P) got all her info from Chicken Little (C-L). You should have a conversation with C-L also.....
Gus Hall| 2.4.10 @ 8:32AM
Maybe his name is Chicken Licken. I forget.....but anyway, H-P was just repeating what C-L told her.
Anthony| 2.4.10 @ 11:29AM
I think Al Gore and James Hanson should be tied to a rail, tarred and feathered and paraded through the streets of Washington D.C.
Walking behind them should be a person carrying a sign; YOU ALL ARE NEXT.
Pingback| 2.4.10 @ 11:35AM
Real Estate on the Central Coast of California | Real Estate … | San Luis Obispo Coun links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Vinny| 2.4.10 @ 12:28PM
A Gore Comments;
"I Know many of you don't think I know science just because I got a D in the subject in college after my family donated like $6B" so I could get that D after I dropped out of seminary school but I checked my facts we're gonna fry by 8/22/10 really, honest, get ready I checked"
Anthony| 2.4.10 @ 3:48PM
(Big Sigh) Dear Al; Get your facts straight. You dropped out of law school and FAILED out of divinity school. God was trying to send you a message, that you're a permanant screw up, but the Artic Ice Floe, that dwells between your ears, that AGW has not melted, has affected your pea brain. The science is settled; you're a moron!!
c. j. acworth| 2.4.10 @ 5:31PM
Algore is not a permanent screw-up, it just took him a while to find his proper calling; snake-oil salesman. And he's very good at it. I'm glad for him, since he has a family to support (have you seen his electric bill?) but I do resent the idea of being forced to buy what he's selling.
elainej| 2.5.10 @ 12:02AM
ha, ha!! Go Anthony and Vinny---okay that is all I was going to say...but...if Gore is so concerned about the polar ice caps melting, maybe he could relocate there for 50 years or so and study them--then get back with us.
Pingback| 2.4.10 @ 1:34PM
Late For Work 2/4: Bisciotti: NFL Teams Struggling Financially … | Baltimore Ravens N links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Pingback| 2.4.10 @ 5:51PM
The American Spectator : Henny-Penny and the Killer Molecule Type links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Al Gore| 2.4.10 @ 6:38PM
Has anyone seen where they parked my private jet?
Patton| 2.6.10 @ 2:27PM
LOL !!! Nuff said. Good one !
Russell Seitz| 2.4.10 @ 10:59PM
"the planet would have burned to the size of a charcoal briquet eons ago. The sun's temperature is only about 10,000 degrees."
Holy Alzheimer's Elder Hannaford, sounds like it's time to get after the Main Stream Physics media for the warmist hoax that million degree plasmas tend to expand rather vigorously.
Have you been taking a correspondence course from the pontifical academy ?
Pingback| 2.5.10 @ 12:55AM
Fried chicken, more cowbell, and a potpourri « Politicaljunkie Mom links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Vinny| 2.5.10 @ 12:54PM
AG Comment;
"Russel, I really have to dispute what you're saying, everyone knows after hearing me on Conan O'Brien show that the Earth is like 1 million degrees just 3 feet under the surface. I mean honestly wake up I checked, how can ANYONE doubt me. I mean really, get a life and smell my coffee.....or however that saying goes."
Your buddy AL (Saviour of the planet)
Richard Baker| 2.7.10 @ 11:31AM
When does Gore repair to his 30, 000 square foot mansion on his hill in Tennessee? Soon, hopefully. What a buffoon and the folks who believe him.
Nom De Guerre| 2.7.10 @ 3:04PM
Even in the face of evidence that this whole anthropomorphic theory of global warming is wrought with fraud and junk science the politicians and courts are still hell-bent in enacting laws and EPA regulations to grievously impact our standard of living, economy and everyday lives. The person needs no more evidence than this to understand it was never about saving the planet but controlling people and to heck with the truth!
You need not look further into the character of a president who stands before the nation in the state of the union show and claims the "climate change" (note the new word) science is settled, I was halfway hoping someone in that room would stand and yell "you lie" but... no dice, because that's exactly what it is a lie! It's merely a vehicle to carry a socialist agenda.
The people are not the only ones who are victimized in this, honest legitimate scientists are all tarnished by the few bad apples and like in the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" is a real problem comes the people remember this lie may be to our own peril. The people behind this fraud need to be exposed and punished for the sake of legitimate scientific honesty and justice.
"The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name f 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist
program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." ~ Norman Thomas (1884-1968) six-time U.S. Presidential candidate for the Socialist Party of America, 1948 - from an interview during the presidential campaign, (replace the word liberalism with environmentalism and then you'll get today's picture.)
If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be. ~ Thomas Jefferson
MikeD| 2.7.10 @ 9:02PM
This may be a really stupid question, but I'll ask it anyway. As a long time reader of the American Spectator, I'm always impressed by the general level of intelligence demonstrated by the reader's comments. (With a few notable exceptions...you know who you are!)
Anyway, could some of you really smart people find a legal, moral, and ethical way to have Algore arrested and convicted for some of the heinous crimes he's been committing in the name of his fraudulent pseudo-religion called "Make Algore rich by pretending to know something about Earth's climate". Fraud is just a good place to start. Now, GET THOSE THINKING CAPS ON AND GET TO WORK!
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Jon B| 3.8.10 @ 11:08AM
It would be pretty funny, in a sick way, when you're all proven wrong. In your zeal to "beat" an opposing party, in your view, you throw all common sense out the window: Excessive CO2/pollution is bad.
http://www.miamiherald.com/201.....ceans.html
explosion proof light | 11.15.10 @ 9:00AM
Obama's stage props, the guys with the white jackets, are here to take you away, to the funny farm, where everything will be alright.
Converse | 8.12.11 @ 4:01AM
is good