Streetcar Line
Oh Win, Ye Saints!
Please go marching in this year.
This has to be the year. It just has to be.
That’s a common refrain among sports fans. Hoping against all hope, not to mention all logic. Believing because you want something to believe in, something more immanent than what your faith offers. Adding up the plusses and minuses of your team can promise — and fudging the equation because, after all, isn’t a good team better than the sum of its parts?
Of course, you never want to admit that your team is worse than the sum of its parts. A bunch of old Red Sox teams were that way: fractious, flawed in character, destined to break hearts. One LSU basketball team featured Shaquille O’Neal, Stanley Roberts (eight years in the NBA), Chris Jackson (11 years in the NBA), Geert Hammink (first-round draft choice, lasted three years in the NBA), and excellent college players Vernel Singleton, Harold Boudreaux, Wayne Sims, and Maurice Williamson — but couldn’t get beyond the second round of the NCAA tournament.
Then there were teams that consisted of spare parts and parts nobody should have ever wanted — like the New Orleans Saints in the late 1960s, when a gritty and ruddy-faced Billy Kilmer was drawing up plays in the dirt while fans chanted to bring somebody named Ed Hargett into the game, where a former first-round draft choice named Joe Don Looney lived up to his last name (and gained minus-3 yards on three carries for the whole season), where first-ever draft choice Leslie Kelley never started a game, and neither did the next choice — Bo Burris — and where they wasted an expansion draft choice on Packer great Paul Hornung, who never played a single down for them. One Saints wide receiver was named Margene Adkins — but my father called him Margarine Adkins because the man had butter-fingers that couldn’t hold on to a ball.
Even the Saints’ first league all-star, hustling receiver Danny Abramowicz, was so slow that an NFL book chapter on him was entitled “Million-Dollar Hands — and Ten-Cent Feet.”
Those are the Saints teams that permanently scarred the psyches of Saints fans, whose one great high point in the first ten years of existence was a 63-yard field goal by a kicker with half a foot. Even then, fans listening to the game at home on the radio never heard the result of the kick: A swarm of bees literally invaded the station’s transmitter just as the ball was snapped, and all the listeners heard was a furious buzzing.
The then-lowly Atlanta Falcons drubbed the Saints 62-7 in 1973; completed a “Hail Mary” pass call “Big Ben” to beat us in 1978; found a referee named Grover Klemmer to call a phantom pass interference penalty on the Saints to nullify an interception and hand the game to the Falcons later that year (even the receiver said no Saints touched him); and began the next year by beating the Saints in overtime when punter Russell Erxleben tried to pass after picking up a loose ball and threw it right to the Dirty Birds for a game-losing interception.
The Saints once traded a first, second and third round draft choice for quarterback Steve Walsh, who deteriorated so badly that he once literally couldn’t hit the ground. Yes, Walsh tried to spike the ball once to kill the clock, but it slipped out of his hand and flew up instead of down — nobody touched him — and into the hands of a surprised defender.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost their first 26 games in the league — until they played the Saints. When the Browns returned to Cleveland in 1999, they lost their first seven games by a combined 128 points (an average loss of 19 points per game), but won their first when they beat the Saints on, yes, a Hail Mary pass. The Saints once blew a 35-14 third-quarter lead on the Oakland Raiders on a Monday night when the playoffs hung in the balance. Another time when the peerless Archie Manning engineered a 28-point halftime lead on the San Francisco 49ers, the nonexistent defense gave away that game as well. And — true story — a four-year-old Peyton Manning, completely by mistake, once booed his own father.
Not even the halftime shows were exempt from tragic performances. In a re-enactment of the Battle of New Orleans, a cannon backfired, blowing off three fingers of one of the re-enactor soldiers. Charlton Heston played a beleaguered Saints quarterback in the movie Number One, and broke three ribs in the process. And even as late as their fourth decade in existence, still without a single playoff win to show for it, the Saints were laughing-stocks: Coach Mike Ditka traded every single draft choice one year for running back Ricky Williams, and celebrated by posing for a magazine cover with Williams wearing a wedding gown. (HUH?!!!??!!)
Maybe the worst indignity of all, though, was a cartoon that once ran in the independent New Orleans football weekly Gridweek. A donkey, driving a car, was stuck in a massive traffic jam of vehicles en route to the stadium rising in the distance. Every car but the donkey’s coupe had Saints pennants waving out the window. And the donkey, his face turned toward the reader and his thumb pointing at all the Saints fans, had one simple statement in the dialogue bubble: “And to think they call me a jackass!”
All of which helps serve as a reminder, once again, of why we longtime Saints fans this week are quaking in our boots at the thought of Saturday’s playoff game, wondering if we can possibly fail even to reach the conference championship (not to mention the Super Bowl, where we’ve never been) after winning our first 13 — yes, 13 in a row — games of the season. Our nightmares are filled with Joe Don Looney, Margarine Adkins, Grover Klemmer, Russell Erxleben, and Ricky Williams as Da Coach’s bride….
Then again, never mind. This has to be our year. It just has to be.
Doesn’t it?
About the Author
Quin Hillyer is a senior editor of The American Spectator and a senior fellow at the Center for Individual Freedom. Follow him on Twitter @QuinHillyer.
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Ryan| 1.15.10 @ 8:27AM
As a fellow lifetime Saints fan and Baton Rouge native...
Please? Just this one year?
MLG| 1.15.10 @ 8:38AM
Ahh Quin, as an old Saints fan I truly understand the fear of having to watch the game; I too can't shake the old feeling of which team will show up to play, the one that one those 13 in a row, or the old Saints, the ones I love and hate so well. I remember the days when we were happy if the Saints just made it hard for the other team to win... BUT I want to Believe, this Is the 'Next Year' we have always been talking/dreaming about for decades.
Go Saints!!!
Otis, my man!| 1.15.10 @ 10:09AM
Quin, you have reawakened so many old memories! You forgot to add the joys of watching Hap Glaudi commenting on the game the next day on WWL TV. That was a trip in itself, wasn't it?
Quin| 1.15.10 @ 11:57AM
Oh, did ANY team have such unique local sportscasters commenting on them than Hap and Buddy D?!? No way. The best was when Buddy D bet Steve Stonebreaker that the Saints wouldn't win more than three games, and they won four, so Buddy D had to jump into a swimming pool on a cold January day while wearing a full suit!
Otis, my man!| 1.18.10 @ 9:41PM
Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about Buddy D!
Northern Rebel| 1.15.10 @ 10:14AM
God knows, as a Colt fan, I have had my share of pathetic teams to root for, in between Unitas, and Manning.
It's hard to wish ill upon "Aints fans who have suffered for so long, so I'll just say, if my boys in blue and white can't bring it home, you guys are my next choice!
Vern Crisler| 1.15.10 @ 11:09AM
Hey, a few years ago, the Arizona Cardinals were considered a joke -- even by fans. We Arizonans have suffered for years now as our team has regularly managed to pull defeat from the jaws of defeat.
Imagine our surprise when they got into the Superbowl last year.
Will lightning strike twice for the Cardinals? Or will they revert to losing form while the Saints go marching all over them? I'm not betting on the outcome.
astorian| 1.15.10 @ 11:59AM
I know the feeling all too well. I grew up a New York Giants fan, in the Sixties and Seventies, back when they kept finding new and interesting ways to lose (mention "The Fumble" to any New Yorker my ge or older, and they'll immediately tell you i nagonizing detail about Joe Pisarcik's botched last-second handoff to Larry Csonka).
Even though the Giants have won 3 Super Bowls since then, their fans STILL uspect, deep down, that it's all some kind of trick, and that the NFL will step in any second to say, "Just kidding- come on, you didn't REALLY think the Giants could win the Super Bowl, dd you?"
The Giants who started out strong in 2009, then got crush by 40 points in all the late season games... THAT"S the team we're used to.
Pingback| 1.15.10 @ 12:08PM
The Hayride » I’m With Quin: This HAS To Be The Year! links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Tim| 1.15.10 @ 12:46PM
The Saints couldn't beat Martha Coakley...
Otis, my man!| 1.18.10 @ 10:05PM
Tim, you must be a Liberal.
Oldefarte| 1.15.10 @ 12:59PM
Quin, GD, I'll now have recurring nightmares from the Saints memories [all true, of course]that you've resurrected. The Oakland/MNF game had the Saints ahead [think] 35-7 with only minutes to go in the first half; Stabler drove the Raiders [with short dump off passes to Branch, Blitnacoff,etc]to make it 35-14 at halftime; and then Stabler methodically did likewise on consecutive scoring drives to beat the Saints [who did not score anymore points beyand their first half 35]. Erxleben was the Saints' #1 draft choice as a combo kicker/punter; and ended up cracking under pressure [from missing field goals] and eventually quiting football. Moron Ditka trading the Saints' entire draft choices for Williams had to be the most asinine decision ever made in the NFL. You forgot to mention former owner [John Mechem's] hiring a former ASTRONAUT [Dick Gordon] as the Saint's GENERAL MANAGER; and hiring a semi-pro, farm coach [JD Roberts] as the Saints' head coach. Also, there were rumors about Saints players, while in pre-season traning camp in Hammond, Louisiana, of shooting up a Southeastern Louisiana University dorm using a shotgun! Yea, Hap and Buddy D were like Laurel & Hardy; with the former reading birthday wishes to old ladies on his hightly TV sports show! Only in the city that care forgot,huh?????
TexasEngineer| 1.15.10 @ 1:48PM
Ah...the memories of the "Aints" fans wearing paper bags over their heads back and the guy raising his middle finger to the camera. Dandy Don quipped "...he's saying 'We're number 1.'" and I fell off my chair laughing
TexasEngineer| 1.15.10 @ 1:51PM
Sorry for the poor sentence structure...I hate it when phone calls interrupt my train of thought. Should have read "...over their heads back in the Glory Days..."
Oldefarte| 1.15.10 @ 4:13PM
Texas: I think that Dandy's '....Turn out the lights, the party's over....' was the Saints' anthem; or maybe his '....If IFS and BUTS were cherry and nuts, we'd all have a MERRY CHRISTMAS....' was the reason why the Saints' never made it to the Super Bowl!!!!!
Bo Darville| 1.15.10 @ 2:03PM
If its the Saints vs Minnesota in the NFC Title game? Who goes to the Super Bowl? Neither?
Northern Rebel| 1.15.10 @ 2:45PM
Vern Crisler:
How true about them Cards!
But nobody has suffered more than Saints fans.
My memory goes back to about 1970, When the Cards went 9-5, and pitched 3 shutouts in a row. I don't remember another team shutting 3 teams out, in a row since!
I could be wrong.
mitch| 1.15.10 @ 2:48PM
I feel for the sorry Saints, but we Cardinal fans have endured a STOOPID owner, too cheap to pay for talent, coaches rejected by 20 other teams, selfish, prima donna players and as much bad luck as anyone. After last weeks thriller 51-45 win over the Pack, the Redbirds will fly high over the "Aints."
Royal Lobo| 1.15.10 @ 3:13PM
I sincerely hope the Saints make it to the Super Bowl, thereby shrinking the list to never have beens by one, leaving my Lions, the NFL version of the state of Michigan. You think it's bad to be a Saints fan, who did they beat with the 63 yard field goal? The defeat forced the Detroit Lions to go on the road to Dallas for the playoffs and lose 5-0. I could go on however 2 - 30 the last two years just says it all.
Sam| 1.15.10 @ 3:15PM
Who is the Saints quarterback? Drew Brees.
Where did he come from (who made him great)? MY SAN DIEGO CHARGERS!
I'm glad New Orleans is doing well, but THIS IS OUR YEAR!
LiveFreeOrDie| 1.17.10 @ 7:15PM
Chargers should have kept Brees along with Michael Turner and dumped LT & Rivers to free up the money to do it. Imagine the Turner/Sproles combo in the backfield...unstoppable. Every time they hand off to LT it's a waste of a down. LT is done but nobody wants to admit it and Rivers is inconsistent and constantly overthrows the long ball. Right now it's 10-7 Jets...c'mon CHARGERS!!!
Otis, my man!| 1.18.10 @ 9:44PM
Sorry about that Sam...
DatsunMark| 1.15.10 @ 3:35PM
Just don't play like the Senate Republicans...playing *not to lose*.
Ron| 1.15.10 @ 5:51PM
When I was a kid we lived close enough to Tulane stadium that we'd rent out our driveway for parking. Living in a shotgun house sucked except on game day when the Saints were playing in town. That was our concession stand money. My brother and I had season tickets sitting in the South end zone, 5th row, right by the sidelines. These seats weren't bad and our season ticket cost us $15.00 a piece. That's $15.00 for the SEASON TICKET, not each game. I was there for the few great moments and the many sad ones. It was great but for all the years that Saints fans sat through miserable season after miserable season, we are due.
virgil xenophon| 1.15.10 @ 9:18PM
Something only those who actually attended Saints games in old Tulane Stadium (The Sugar Bowl) on Tulane's campus uptown will remember is the absolutely totally unique (unto this day) method they used to hawk beer in the stands. Unlike most stadiums where the beer guy carries around a basket-gage full of beer cups full of warm beer, the Saint's vendors had a green scuba tank strapped to their back full of ice-cold draft with a row of firm, thick plastic cups attached on either side. The beer guy would give you one cup for the entire game and fill it by hose from the scuba tank and each successive time in same cup for refills. LOL! I'd tell people from out of town and they'd think I was making it up! (Actually quite efficient--beer stayed ice cold in tank and thick cup didn't wilt, either.)
Only in New Orleans!
Cpm| 1.15.10 @ 10:50PM
Having been subjected to wayyyy too much Nawlins in the past few years, with the city and it's denizens somehow deserving because they chose to live below sea level, I'm hoping for a hasty exit by da whoodats followed by many more seasons of obscurity.
Go Cards.
Bruce from NOLA| 1.16.10 @ 12:43AM
Cpm -
bite me.
Where do you live? Ya mama's basement? Sheesh!
Cpm| 1.16.10 @ 4:42PM
As I'm watching, the Cards have scored on the second play of the game...Who dat?...chokers.
By the way, everybody around here has basements because we don't live below sea level. It's where I keep my freezer, you know, to hide cash.
Otis, my man!| 1.18.10 @ 9:45PM
Sorry about that CPM...
led mining light | 11.25.10 @ 1:45AM
In short, just as we still rely on nation-states for international security, we must still rely on national governments to protect individual rights. Your freedom still depends on where you live.
Yosemeti Sam| 1.16.10 @ 2:03AM
Yo - Vikings!
Oldefarte| 1.16.10 @ 11:27AM
Ron &Virgil;: I think I remember those BEER MEN. Probably had DIXIE BEER [with the indescribable sediment that always existed at the bottom of their white/green beer cans;God only knows what that sediment actually was] in those scuba tanks. Bruce from NOLA: Ditto to your thoughts on Cpm [who may wish to have bandages and ointment available for Kurt Warner post game, because his ar* will be constantly on the rubberised carpet of the Superdome beginning at 3:30PM today]!!!!
Cpm| 1.16.10 @ 5:49PM
I'm not a Cardinals fan..except for this game, so the status of Kurt Warner's 'ar*' is of no concern of mine.
It does amuse me that every play is a 'new Saints playoff record' because the Saints playoff cupboard is so bare.
Ron| 1.16.10 @ 10:54PM
At times like these don't you wish there was a delete button on your posts? That first offensive play of the Cards was practically their ONLY offensive play of the game. Let's see; after that play they were outscored 45 to 7. If you actually stuck around for the entire game, you know it wasn't even as close as 45 to 14 would indicate. I felt sorry for the Cards. They were way out of their league.
Cpm| 1.16.10 @ 11:41PM
Much like the sAINTS were the final 3 games of the season. Pathetic. I bet you were worried. On any given Sunday. But it's a nice story,'healing' and all that rubbish. But if you don't make it all the way, bitch and moan and I'm sure the Federal government will get you a Superbowl trophy at taxpayer's expense.
Ron| 1.17.10 @ 1:47AM
We're talking about a lousy football game. Have you considered anger management help?
Ron| 1.16.10 @ 11:09PM
I think I can say with some authority, there has never been nor will there ever be a beer WORSE than Dixie when it was still in the can. When it moved to the longneck, the change in recipe was nothing short of miraculous. When still in the can I would have wished that the brewery on Tulane burned down if not for it's proximity to Nick's Bar, across the street. A fire that size could spread and Nick's was an institution.
Oldefarte| 1.18.10 @ 10:13AM
You've got that right, my friend! Due to economic necessity as a Loyola student, I/we had to drink Dixie [sometimes to wash down those Bourbon Street vendor hot dogs], and it's no small wonder that some of us are still alive today [after doing so]!!!
Otis, my man!| 1.18.10 @ 9:47PM
Is Nick's still there?
Ron| 1.19.10 @ 9:06AM
It's been a good while since I entered that fine establishment. I don't think Katrina took it out but I can't swear to it. I hope it still stands. There aren't many places that; 1) is the most hole in the wall spot you can possibly imagine; 2) make extraordinary drinks; 3) let you walk in the front door wearing shorts and a pull-over or something from Brooks Brothers and in either case be perfectly dressed for the occasion. We'd start at Nick's and perhaps then head to Vance's or F&M's or maybe Tips if someone good was playing. There were so many good spots to choose from. I think F&M's was my favorite. There aren't a lot of bars that put plywood on the pool tables late at night and turn them into a dance floor. Many a good time!
Northern Rebel| 1.16.10 @ 12:09PM
I guess we'll find out soon enough, but I'm glad the team I've rooted for in the last 40+ years, is the one Peyton Manning plays for.
Pingback| 1.16.10 @ 3:45PM
The American Spectator : Oh Win, Ye Saints! links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Rusty | 1.16.10 @ 7:55PM
WAY TO GO SAINTS! This is SPECIAL!!
http://rustystoychest.ecrater......ords=saint
Northern rebel| 1.17.10 @ 6:20PM
I'm sorry Cards fans, you guys deserved better, but it tough out there.
I loved watching you almost as much as my Colts, and now that "Murder" Harrison has retired, Larry Fitzgerald is the best in the NFL.
Colts- Saints, is gonna be fun, but you guys play in an inferior conference, so get ready.
Tex Expatriate| 1.19.10 @ 4:18PM
Thanks for some really great memories! Only a Bronco fan could understand what the Saints fans have endured. I used to watch the Saints whenever I could because they were so awful, and I always prayed they would get better. Then almost never did. I wish them luck, although I live 23 miles from Lucas Oil Stadium now.
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