-
Pray and Grow Rich
May 16, 2013 | 68 comments
-
Ruthie’s Way
May 2, 2013 | 6 comments
-
A Free and Indivisible Union
April 25, 2013 | 70 comments
-
Revoke Obama’s Peace Prize
April 18, 2013 | 80 comments
-
What the New Atheists Ignore
April 11, 2013 | 103 comments
The Nation's Pulse
Cold Bay
Despite its reputation, Illinois is too good for enemy combatants.
Last week President Obama repledged his campaign promise to shutter Guantánamo Bay prison, ostensibly because the facility has become a “tremendous recruiting tool for al Qaeda.” This drew muted and listless praise from the hipsters down at the Mississippi Mud coffee house, who like to tell each other: “One reason the terrorists hate us is because of that damn Cuban prison.”
Great, so now they’ll hate us because of that damn Illinois prison. I happen to live in Illinois. The Prairie State used to be a fine place to live despite that fact that half our prison population is made up of former governors. Now whenever Osama bin Ladin wants to recruit a suicide bomber all he will have to do is mutter the name “Illinois” into his satellite phone. (To make matters worse, he’ll probably pronounce the S.) Soon the Land of Lincoln will be associated with all things evil, and not just some things evil, like Dick Durbin.
I don’t know about you, but I want the terrorists to hate us. Back in World War II, we weren’t fighting for the love of Himmler and Goebbels, so why are we obsessed with winning the admiration of terrorists? Liberals are so concerned with America being the most popular girl in school they are flunking Poli-Sci 101.
If Guantánamo is the key, how was al Qaeda able to recruit young men willing to attack a U.S. Navy destroyer ina fiberglass skiff back in October 2000? I mean other than staffing tables in the University of Sanaa’s student center with burqua girls giving away bumper stickers that read “Got 72 Virgins?”
A Gallup Poll taken last June showed that only 32 percent of Americans supported closing the prison at the U.S. naval base, and moving the suspected enemy combatants to America’s heartland. That figure is probably around one percent now that we’ve learned the Obama Administration’s catch-and-release program is not only good for the fish, it’s good for terrorists too. On Thursday came news that “as many as one in five former Guantánamo Bay detainees are suspected of or confirmed to have engaged in terrorist activity after their release.”
Anyone who has made the mistake of purchasing one of those catch-and-release mousetraps might have seen this coming. Sure, you feel all good about yourself when you free the little buggers into the back yard and watch them scamper away, but the next day they are right back where you found them, chewing through your Quaker Oats box and leaving their high-fiber feces all over the cabinets.
Speaking of the USS Cole, whatever happened to those terrorists responsible for the murder of 17 American sailors? Funny you should ask. They were captured and “incarcerated” in Yemen. By May of 2008, however, all of them had either “escaped” from prison or been freed by Yemeni officials. (Air quotes, mine.)
THE TRUTH IS, THE Navy prison was too good for the terrorist suspects. If Mr. Obama insists on bringing the detainees stateside, I’m all for it. But I don’t see why we can’t house them in a nice outdoorsy detention facility somewhere in the Aleutian Islands. Cold Bay, Alaska would be perfect. There is even a convenient airport nearby — if you can believe that. Al Qaeda recruitment would drop off faster than a prom dress if terrorists learned that, should their panty bomb fail to ignite, they would be sent not to a sunny Caribbean Island, but to one of the Aleutians.
Evidently, it is not enough to return terrorism suspects to the Middle East so they can pick up where they left off, or even to bring them stateside — they must receive the full complement of rights and due processes normally reserved for American citizens. That explains why accused war criminal Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the mastermind of the World Trade Center attacks, will get a glamorous civilian show trial next door to Ground Zero — just so he can smirk every time he arrives at the courthouse. As if Mohammed hasn’t cost Americans enough already, his trial is expected to cost the city of New York more than $200 million per year in extra security.
Forget the mythical 72 virgins, what these young men really want is 15 minutes of celebrity cult status. Why do you think al Qaeda is always making those crappy videos? Like every overweight American housewife, terrorists are dying to get on TV. Bin Ladin would show you his breasts if he thought that would get him thirty seconds on Jerry Springer. When today’s impressionable young Muslims get a load of CNN’s Live from New York, it’s The Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Show, they are going to be flooding the local mosques to enlist. We are in for one big media circus, folks. Don’t forget the popcorn.
About the Author
Christopher Orlet writes from St. Louis.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (75) | Leave a comment
More Articles by Christopher Orlet
More Articles From The Nation's Pulse
http://spectator.org/archives/2010/01/13/cold-bay
Follow us:
ADVERTISEMENT
SPONSORED LINKS
FLASHBACK TO: 1995
-
Pope Culture
A man of faith in a godless age is hitting Americans where it hurts.
-
Why the GOP Does Not, Like, Totally Suck
Mr. and Mrs. American Spectator Reader, let P.J. O’Rourke talk sense to your kids.
-
Dames at Sea
-
In the Absence of Guns
In Britain, defending your property can get you life.
-
The Metaphysical Martini
-
Counting the Costs of Clintonism
The debacle of this president’s administration is both a cause and a symptom of the decline of American values. Unless Congress impeaches him, that decline will go on unchecked. An eminent jurist surveys the damage and assesses the chances for the recovery of our culture.
-
Chuck McHagel
It won’t take long for conservatives to scratch this presidential wannabe off their 2008 scorecard.
-
The Legacy of Old John and Mother Fresh-Roasted
-
It’s the Best Time of the Year
The American Christmas, like the songs that celebrate it, makes room for everybody under the rainbow. Is that why so many people seem to be hostile to it?
-
The Bush Crack-Up
Was the President done in by the economy, or by the politics of the economy?
Clip of the Day
ADVERTISEMENT
Ret. Marine| 1.13.10 @ 7:07AM
Catch and release is for a person awaiting the shark at his backside. Hell I eat them, and I won't waste resources it takes to catch them, likewise we should be doing the same to these lower than snake sheet excusses for human beings.
Any time I hear all this nonsense out of our neighborhood libturd, I ask them if they remember the two-hundred fourty three individual citizen soldiers dressed up and acting like Marines who lost thier lives in the same region of the world we are seeing being supported by the same people who perpretrated the act, Iran? Cherp, cherp cherp. GITMO is a fine place for the junkie jihadist. Keep it open for the sake of the political class, they are used to having it good and besides where will we place them far enough away from decent Americans after thier trials for sedition and treason.
S.L. Toddard| 1.13.10 @ 1:02PM
Wow you're one tough, no-nonsense individual. You won't take any guff from no terrorists and that's a fact, Jack!
I have a question though - what is "good enough" for innocent suspects? You know - those innocent people we suspect who turn out to not be dangerous. Should we feed them to sharks also? Or would you like to "eat them" yourself?
I'm curious.
Ret. Marine| 1.14.10 @ 5:56AM
Listen dipstick, this is why the military tribunals are set up. I sometimes get this notion out of you that you think they won't come after you if given the chance? and please don't lecture me, of all people.....I have 43 confirmed kills to my record, survived over 65 missions into enemy territory.......and you? I've the the medals, the chest to pin them on, the pension and SRB to prove it. and I will not give aid and comfort to my enemies, I just shoot them, on site. It's survival of the fitest. Soemthing you might want to learn for the coming events, here in these United States.
S.L. Toddard| 1.14.10 @ 7:58AM
"I just shoot them, on site"
Innocent suspects should be shot on sight? Is that your final answer - that the United States should slaughter innocents?
L. Ross| 1.13.10 @ 12:18PM
I often had the same thought about a prison in the Aleutian Islands.
S.L. Toddard| 1.13.10 @ 12:49PM
This piece is so goddamned stupid I can't even muster up the energy to ridicule it.
explosion proof flood light | 11.25.10 @ 1:58AM
For most Americans, Obama doesn't seem to be giving them something they don't have, but instead to be taking away something they already value.
Liberal Reader| 1.13.10 @ 2:57PM
It seems to me conservatives have important and useful critiques to offer of the foreign policy of Obama and the Democrats.
This particular critique is certainly not among them.
The notion that somehow housing these people in a maximum security prison endangers or threatens Illinois is so bizarre and childish I scarcely know where to begin.
Imagine a man from Yemen or Jordan escaping from such a prison. How precisely do you claim he will be more dangerous to the population than any other criminal escaping from such a prison?
If anything, without his the direction, funding, and organization of his terror cell, he will be a much more minor threat than the usual violent sociopath, who finds pleasure in sheer violation of others' rights for no reason whatsoever.
Now recall that not one single person has escaped from the kind of facility that will house these prisoners.
In short, spend your time making arguments that are sensible and that take your audience somewhat seriously. I'm sick of people on the left and right talking to me as if I'm some sort of idiot. You people may enjoy that -- which is why you love Glenn Beck -- but I've had it with the dumbing down of political discourse in this country. Time to grow up, folks.
IL Resident| 1.16.10 @ 2:15PM
Hey Liberal reader - You probably haven't heard but there have been 2 separate jail breaks in IL just this year (2010)! One at a county jail but the other a high security one, they're blaming it on the budget problems. Also, the prison isn't completed yet, so there's more of your tax dollars to finish it to become a max prison. The jobs that they keep talking about will be Federal jobs and brought in from outside of IL, not going to local folks. Then they are going to keep these terrorists separate then genpop, more of your tax money. ALSO, there are 2 (yes 2) nuke plants within 3 yrs drive of that prison and a military ammo facility near by too. I don't want them within a days drive of my home, they need to stay in Gitmo, off of our shores and out of our court rooms!!!!
IL Resident| 1.16.10 @ 2:19PM
Oh and I forgot to mention that our wonderful Governor has been releasing violent criminals lately to easy the budget, lol. Most ended right back in prison within a few days. Yep, IL is a great place to put these terrorists! not
S.L. Toddard| 1.13.10 @ 4:03PM
“THE TRUTH IS, THE Navy prison was too good for the terrorist suspects.”
Read that again - prison is "too good" for "suspects". I was under the impression that in America we *tried* suspects in court to determine guilt, and imprisoned those we *found guilty*.
Mr. Orlet – please explain to your loyal readers what treatment innocent suspects deserve. Should they be engaged in solitary? Should innocent suspects have no recourse to challenge their imprisonment? Should innocent suspects be subject to water torture, beatings, hypothermia etc? Should they be humiliated, should they have the lives of their daughters and wives threatened? Should they be lined up and shot? Or fed to sharks, as "Ret Marine" suggests?
What do you say, Mr. Orlet?
S.L. Toddard| 1.13.10 @ 4:05PM
* that should read "Should they be encaged..." not "engaged"
Truth to Power| 1.13.10 @ 6:39PM
"Mr. Orlet – please explain to your loyal readers what treatment innocent suspects deserve. "
Innocent of what?
S.L. Toddard| 1.14.10 @ 7:56AM
Innocent of "terrorism", or of whatever acts they are believed to have purpotrated, which caused them to have been kidnapped by the US and caged at Gitmo or elsewhere.
If an innocent person were abducted and secreted away to Gitmo or any of our secret gulags, what treatment do they deserve? That is the question. Should they be engaged in solitary? Should innocent suspects have no recourse to challenge their imprisonment? Should innocent suspects be subject to water torture, beatings, hypothermia etc? Should they be humiliated, should they have the lives of their daughters and wives threatened? Should they be lined up and shot? Or fed to sharks, as "Ret Marine" suggests?
Ken (Old Texican)| 1.13.10 @ 5:33PM
Well, I think we ought to send these "suspects" to Cold Bay...along with SL...and sorta' forget them.
heh!
Heck we can give SL a free plane ticket almost all the way to "Fortress America" at the north pole where he wants to go hide out from the world.
Uh...SL, nevermind their wives and daughters. They hate us much more than they love them.
If you and Obama win this war...heh...I will be in Cold Bay...along with over a hundred million other Americans...and you won't give us one drop of sweat to our parched mouths...will you?
Nah, you and your ilk will chortle...until the money generated by we productive Americans is all gone, and you will starve in the dark.
Glen Leinbach| 1.13.10 @ 6:43PM
A feature I haven't seen mentioned about Illinois's Thompson Correctional Center: It is the last word in convenience!
It's only 18 miles from I-88, 5 miles from Tri-Township Airport, and a scant 1000 yards from the Mighty Missisip! Easily accessible by any for of transport for prison raids and breaks, unlike Gitmo.
What idiots!!!!
I like the Aleutian idea: Remote, PLUS brutal weather!
Enyuta | 1.14.10 @ 1:44AM
That figure is probably around one percent now that we've learned the Obama Administration's catch-and-release program is not only good for the fish, it's good for terrorists too.
Yosemeti Sam| 1.14.10 @ 2:05AM
Justice on the battlefield!
Ya know - bang, bang!
Obviates terrorists' 'citizens' rights to a 'fair'
trial in America.
Pingback| 1.14.10 @ 2:33AM
The American Spectator : Cold Bay Staff links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Anthony| 1.15.10 @ 5:34AM
I once worked for a defense contractor and was the proud recipient of a ticket to Shemya. It's one of the very last islands in the Aleutian chain. It was the most miserable three months of my life. It's also a perfect spot for Gitmo-North.
Assuming we don't just start shooting our prisoners on the spot. After all, since we can no longer interrogate them with any other coerction than a lowered eyebrow, of what possible value are they as prisoners?
Office 2007 Professional | 1.29.10 @ 2:04AM
Office 2007 Professional
Office 2007 Ultimate
www.us-bapeoutlet.com | 4.2.10 @ 10:08PM
www.us-bapeoutlet.com
watches | 4.28.10 @ 11:02PM
hublot
events marketing | 5.10.10 @ 5:55AM
writing an interesting and very useful,
informative
global marketing management | 5.10.10 @ 5:59AM
writing an interesting and very useful,
informative
marketing and events | 5.10.10 @ 5:59AM
writing an interesting and very useful,
informative
coldbaybie| 1.14.11 @ 12:22PM
Hey, I live in Cold Bay, don't do us any "favors"!! Isn't it bad enough that we are one of the cloudiest and windiest places in the country? We do have the 5th longest runway in Cold Bay. However, we are at the end of the Alaska peninsula before the Aleutian Islands Begin. Just sayin :>)
Converse | 8.11.11 @ 9:54PM
is good