Among the Intellectualoids
The Gift Delusion
This Christmas season lie to your children.
What kind of Grinch would recommend parents tell their toddlers that Santa Claus isn’t real? If you guessed a liberal arts professor at a prestigious east coast college, give yourself a grade-inflated A plus.
What is it with academics? Don’t they ruin enough of childhood with their dull lectures and reams of homework without trying to do in Christmas too? Is there no end to their sadistic need to spoil everything? Prof. David Kyle Johnson thinks not. Johnson, associate professor of philosophy at King’s College in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., is author of a recent op-ed in the Baltimore Sun in which he advises parents to stop perpetuating the terrible lie of jolly old Saint Nick.
Perhaps I am dating myself, but I am old enough to remember a time when associate professors of philosophy would write about Kant’s categorical imperative and Descartes’ ontological argument, and not the “Shocking Truth about Kris Kringle.”
According to Prof. Johnson, perpetuating the lie of Santa Claus is immoral, sort of like Holocaust denial or voting Republican. You have to wonder if Prof. Johnson has any children. If he had, he’d know that parents lie to their kids all the time. Lying is essential to building healthy family relationships. Without some degree of deception, civilization as we know it would collapse in upon itself like an intergalactic black hole, and homo sapiens would revert to savages. Honest savages, but savages, nonetheless.
What mother hasn’t lied to her children when confronted with the following question:
“Mommy, who do you love best, Timmy or me?”
“I love all my children the same.”
I suppose Prof. Johnson would have mothers speak the bitter, unvarnished truth:
“Why I love Timmy the best, silly. And then I love Susie next. In fact, you’re my least favorite of all my children, now quit bothering mommy, you whiny little freak.”
Prof. Johnson has stores of recollections of “finding out the truth about Santa, and many were stories of genuine embarrassment and resentment.” (Trust me, Professor, you don’t want to find out the truth about Santa. It would make your head explode.) Johnson suggests that whenever the topic of Christmas comes up, enlightened, post-Santa children should tell their little playmates: “At our house, Santa is just pretend.” Yippee, let’s all go over the Johnson house on Christmas Eve and wrap ourselves in a wet blanket.
OF COURSE, WHAT is really bending Prof. Johnson’s whistle is the idea that so many Americans believe in so many patently absurd things. What’s needed, then, are more skeptics, and the first step to raising a skeptical generation is to bust the myth of Santa. Once that domino falls, down will come belief in ghosts and God and Sarah Palin’s qualifications for the presidency. As the father of a monosyllabic sixteen-year-old boy, I can tell you that raising nihilistic, cynical, skeptical kids is not the problem. Getting them to believe in something — like speed limits or proper hygiene — is the struggle.
I have a confession to make. I myself was a victim of the “Santa Lie.” My parents allowed me to think that the presents I received on Christmas morning came not out of their own meager savings, but from some stranger who lived among dwarves on an ice sheet somewhere in the Arctic Ocean. I bought it, of course. I believed that reindeer could fly, that Santa could fit all those presents into one tiny sleigh, that he visited every home in the world in a single night. Then, one day, a week before Christmas, my older brother took me aside. “Look, it’s about time you knew the truth,” he said. “You’re 18 years old, for Chrisake.” It has taken years of therapy, and even now my therapist says I will never be completely cured (how else will he pay for his Mercedes luxury sport-utility hybrid?), but today I am happy to report that I can walk past a sidewalk Santa without wetting my pants. Well, no more than usual. I am middle-aged, you know.
I suppose there is a chance that Prof. Johnson was writing with his tongue in cheek. But that would suggest that he has a sense of humor, and based on my careful examination of his piece in the Sun, that seems unlikely.
Since I am at least as qualified to dish out child-rearing advice as an associate professor of philosophy, I would like to recommend a radically different approach: this Christmas celebrate the birth of our Lord by keeping up the charade. Lie to your children. Sure, when they learn the truth they may suffer a temporary twinge of embarrassment, but they will survive it, long enough, at least, to lie to their own children.
About the Author
Christopher Orlet writes from St. Louis.
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Appleby| 12.21.09 @ 6:16AM
Of course there is no Santa Claus. He has been replaced, as any Senator or Congressman (or current sitting President) will tell you, by TheRich.
Pingback| 12.21.09 @ 7:00AM
Twitter Trackbacks for The American Spectator : The Gift Delusion [spectator.org] on links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
mickey mate | 12.21.09 @ 7:17AM
This is a terrible column. Lie to your children, what nonsense. I would never have to lie, because Santa is real. Come on. Have you seen Miracle on 42nd Street. It's more than plausible. It's real.
Otis my man!| 12.21.09 @ 9:43AM
Good point. I guess this professor never saw that movie. His kids probably all talk like young Natalie Wood too. There is nothing new under the sun.
Conan the Grammarian| 12.21.09 @ 11:38AM
I think that the movie is "Miracle on 34th Street", not to put too fine a point on it. Unless there is a movie about Santa Claus called, Miracle on 42nd Street.
hjjj | 12.21.09 @ 8:27AM
Of course there is no Santa Claus. He has been replaced, as any Senator or Congressman (or current sitting President) will tell you, by TheRich.
www.led-lamp-manufacturer.com
Ryan| 12.21.09 @ 8:37AM
Santa not real? WHAT?
Next you're going to tell me that pro wrestling is fake. Sheesh.
Matt morehouse| 12.21.09 @ 9:46AM
...and cage fighting??
Majito Querido| 12.21.09 @ 9:29AM
So what this professor advice would to be parents in Latin America? Down there, as kids, we were told that it was baby Jesus who brought the presents...and our letters were addressed to Baby Jesus, given to our parents so they would give them to Mary His mom...as if one was a cool kid during the year, one may get at least one item on the list...that's why those lists (at least mine) were very long...had to give the baby many options...what a shock to me when arriving in USA to find out that the baby did not deliver but had to talk to the fat dude on the red suit...i want my baby deliveres now...was hoping that perhaps with the economic turmoil in the US now, the baby would make a come back but no way....if the shelves at ToysRUs yesterday are any indication, the fed and the treasury are making sure that would never happen...
CA Liberal| 12.21.09 @ 9:55AM
I tell my children the truth.
Santa has been replaced by Uncle Sam. Specifically Progressives in the Congress and Administration. They give the best gifts to their friends and supporters.
I will be having a very good ChristmasThanx to my share of the stimulous.
Will you?
tuckaloe| 12.21.09 @ 10:40AM
CA Liberal- you are barely coherent in your trolling. Keep up the good work.
But since you asked......I will indeed have a very merry Christmas. Christmas is a faith based celebration for my family, in no way tied to the political winds.
My condolences to you and your children.
PolishKnght| 12.21.09 @ 10:42AM
Like so many liberal positions about caring about the environment, or being against racism, etc., they have a kernel of wisdom even as they are total hypocrites.
As CA Liberal has pointed out, the biggest Santa Claus imaginable is Karl Marx and more people believe in him than Jesus Christ. The whole concept of gift giving (or receiving) is the notion of getting something for nothing or APPARENTLY nothing: Just be "good". Or say or do what the gift giver wants while helping chase after "the rich" and those "free" presents will appear anytime now.
Regarding mommy lying to her children about which one she loves best. Kids are smart enough to figure out based upon BEHAVIOR which kid is loved the best and that's why they ask the question in the first place.
Ken (Old Texican)| 12.21.09 @ 11:09AM
My wife and I are THERE! again!
Our grandkids are hearing rumors at school. OUR kids have told their kids to let grammie and da judge explain the whole truth ...on Christmas eve.
We will start, by telling about the tradition of the 3 wise men giving gifts, (including burial spices), to the the baby Jesus.
We will talk a LOT about the true SPIRIT of giving at Christmas time being re-invented by a guy named Saint Nicholas.
We will end the "all sit down on the floor" discussion, by asking our grand-kids to go gather up all the toys they have outgrown so they can give gifts at Christmas too....sort of out of their own pockets. (goodwill industris etc. will love it)
Again...they will love the last part best.
W Krebs| 12.21.09 @ 11:41AM
Prof. Johnson rebukes those who would allow their children believe in Santa Claus. Yet, the good professor no doubt believes that the Gov't will provide free health care for all and will reverse global warming. Fascinating!
Margie| 12.21.09 @ 12:03PM
Because of our Christian beliefs, our philosophy regarding Santa Claus during our child raising years, was that we would not lie to our kids by telling them their gifts came from Santa Claus. We told them he was just pretend, and that they could pretend if they chose to. We felt that Santa has been given all of the attributes of God and that once they became aware that we had lied to them about THIS, then they could very easily come to doubt what we had taught them about God and Jesus as well. We made sure to tell them not to tell other kids that there was no Santa because some parents liked to pretend he was real with their children, but that we did not want to start any habit of lying to them in any way. This may not work for everyone, but it has served us well. Both our kids are grown now and have strong Christian faith. They have been a joy to raise and to see living productive adult lives. They trust us completely, and I have to believe that the decision we made to not lie to them, even in such a small thing, is a big reason why.
Jimbo| 12.21.09 @ 2:20PM
Margie, I agree with your approach as I am also a Christian and have refused to perpetuate the Santa Clause lie to my three sons. None of them have been warped or socially disadvantaged as a result of being told the truth. Indeed, it is easier now that we are living in a more diverse society where my kids come into contact with other kids with Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, and other backgrounds that manage to survive without the Santa Clause myth. In recent years I have come into some conflicts with some of my fellow Baptists who have succumbed to the worldly temptation of the Santa Clause lie. Evidently, despite my efforts to tell my kids to not raise the controversy, kids always end up discussing the existance of Santa Clause. Parents have complained to me about this but I refuse to help these heretics cover up their lie.
mejamom| 12.21.09 @ 12:26PM
With so many older cousins, close friends and then older siblings we never had to lie to our kids about Santa; they just "knew." When they asked, we told them the truth, but that didn't happen until they were at least 9 or 10. They liked believing, it was a fun part of Christmas. But we also stressed the real reason, beginning with Advent and continuing to Epiphany.
It's obviously a personal decision what parents do, but I don't think it's tied to what political side one is on.
Pingback| 12.21.09 @ 12:46PM
The Gift Delusion | OrthodoxNet.com Blog | Blog Archive links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Dave in AZ | 12.21.09 @ 1:16PM
My wife and I are both Christians and didn't give it a second thought about telling my son about Santa. Of course he's real. My son grew up believing in Sabta and in due time figured out on his own that Dad and Mom were Santa. He is a well adjusted Christian and still gets a gift from Santa. Merry Christmas yall.
Spyndrilleum| 12.21.09 @ 3:52PM
You mean they actually still allow Santa Claus DENIERS to publish opinions that are contrary to the settled community consensus?
MikeBee| 12.21.09 @ 6:03PM
I think it's absolutely appropriate for kids to grow up believing in Santa Claus for a while. When they learn the truth, it becomes their first lesson in applying critical intelligence to what people say. What children learn from this experience, if they carry it along to the rest of their lives, is absolutely essential, later on, when listening to liberal Democrats, Blue Dog Democrats, and Centrist Republicans talk about things when they are adults. (Is this another "Santa Claus" thing? Am I really going to be getting something for nothing, as he promotes, or am I going to be putting out a lot of work and money$$$$$ to make this new thing he is promoting work?) When we allow our children to experience the Santa Claus lie, we prepare them for this future assault on their ability to suspend belief. No, allow the kids to learn critical thinking skills, and to not trust everything they hear from the mouth of an adult.
Ken (Old Texican)| 12.21.09 @ 6:47PM
Darn!
It must be Christmas time. For just a moment, we are talking about loving our kids, and our neighbors' kids.
Merry Christmas, Christians...
...and whatever to the rest of you.
Patrick| 12.21.09 @ 7:07PM
For the record, Santa Claus is in fact real. The reindeer are as fictitious as the price-tag on the Health Care Bill.
(From Catholic Encyclopedia)
St. Nicholas of Myra
Bishop of Myra in Lycia; died 6 December, 345 or 352. Though he is one of the most popular saints in the Greek as well as the Latin Church, there is scarcely anything historically certain about him except that he was Bishop of Myra in the fourth century.
Some of the main points in his legend are as follows: He was born at Parara, a city of Lycia in Asia Minor; in his youth he made a pilgrimage to Egypt and Palestine; shortly after his return he became Bishop of Myra; cast into prison during the persecution of Diocletian, he was released after the accession of Constantine, and was present at the Council of Nicaea. In 1087 Italian merchants stole his body at Myra, bringing it to Bari in Italy.
The numerous miracles St. Nicholas is said to have wrought, both before and after his death, are outgrowths of a long tradition. There is reason to doubt his presence at Nicaea, since his name is not mentioned in any of the old lists of bishops that attended this council. His cult in the Greek Church is old and especially popular in Russia. As early as the sixth century Emperor Justinian I built a church in his honour at Constantinople, and his name occurs in the liturgy ascribed to St. Chrysostom. In Italy his cult seems to have begun with the translation of his relics to Bari, but in Germany it began already under Otto II, probably because his wife Theophano was a Grecian. Bishop Reginald of Eichstaedt (d. 991) is known to have written a metric, "Vita S. Nicholai." The course of centuries has not lessened his popularity. The following places honour him as patron: Greece, Russia, the Kingdom of Naples, Sicily, Lorraine, the Diocese of Liège; many cities in Italy, Germany, Austria, and Belgium; Campen in the Netherlands; Corfu in Greece; Freiburg in Switzerland; and Moscow in Russia. He is patron of mariners, merchants, bakers, travellers, children, etc. His representations in art are as various as his alleged miracles. In Germany, Switzerland, and the Netherlands, they have the custom of making him the secret purveyor of gifts to children on 6 December, the day on which the Church celebrates his feast; in the United States and some other countries St. Nicholas has become identified with Santa Claus who distributes gifts to children on Christmas eve. His relics are still preserved in the church of San Nicola in Bari; up to the present day an oily substance, known as Manna di S. Nicola, which is highly valued for its medicinal powers, is said to flow from them.
Patrick| 12.21.09 @ 7:31PM
Now, please understand, that when Protestantism was new, and the animosity between Protestant and Catholic was personal and often bloody, there was a desire to find every possible verse in the (abridged) Bible and find some way to prove how vile the Catholic Church really was. Many of those charges are passed down to this day, many didn't. One of the charges against the Catholic Church was the celebrations of contrived holidays. Now Christmas was invented by Emperor Constantine as a way for Christians to assimilate into Roman society, and therefore it had to go. Christmas was therefore suppressed by many of the Protestant Churches.
Years later, when Protestants were more comfortable with their successes, decided that there isn't anything implicitly wrong with celebrating the birth of Jesus, even if it likely was on the wrong day.
Well, one thing led to another, and misunderstandings of festivities best left in sitcoms ensued, and there you have it - a real Santa known in nearly every detail incorrectly.
Oh, and those horrid clay-mations made things so much worse.
Bob| 12.21.09 @ 7:17PM
King's also produced a student who instigated an ACLU lawsuit to remove the manger scene from the Luzerne County Courthouse grounds. Google Luzerne County corruption to get a look at what 60 years of one party rule leads to.
Pingback| 12.21.09 @ 9:50PM
The American Spectator : The Gift Delusion American Me links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Pingback| 12.21.09 @ 10:08PM
The American Spectator : The Gift Delusion capital university links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Pingback| 12.21.09 @ 10:08PM
The American Spectator : The Gift Delusion capital university links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Curtis| 12.22.09 @ 12:38AM
I believe in Santa. I believe that at some time, in some way, he was real, probably. He was a nice guy with a big heart who loved children, and believed that giving was better then receiving. A small and yet integral part of what I consider necessary traits to being a man. The kind of things that even some of our best male role models like John Wayne somehow forgot to mention.
The kind of things that aren't easy for a man to explain, but which he must do.
But I guess liberals in general an atheists in particular don't believe in Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, or any thing else that ain't relative, and can't be proved in a laboratory. Poor dumb bastards, I don't want to imagine a world where all the heroes are make-believe, and love is just a feeling.
Ray| 12.22.09 @ 11:47AM
Contrary to the enlightened professors who believe they know what's best for everyone, including someone else's children, Santa Clause isn't about lying to your children, it's about instilling a belief, and understanding, in a very old, an very Human, concept: Hope. Children HOPE they will receive a gift on Christmas, if they are "good little boys and girls." They HOPE Santa will visit them and reward their good behavior. they HOPE their dreams will be fulfilled, in this case their dreams of a great gift. Santa Clause, for the children is a symbol of HOPE, a feeling or concept that every human has, at one time or another.
Well, Mr Professor, you may think that destroying the symbol of hope, that removing hope from the lives of children and replacing it with, what you consider to be, the harsh reality of live, is a good thing, but you're wrong. Hope give us something that no amount of "higher education" will every provide. And that is the ability to face hardships, to bear burdens, to carry on through despair, to continue to work toward a goal even when it seems that goal is unattainable, and to rejoice when that goal has been reached, that hope fulfilled. This is vitally necessary "lie" hat ll human beings need to overcome the difficulties of life and achieve one's goals. Without hope, there's no reason to fulfill a goal, no reason to achieve anything, when faced with great hardships, and all we're left with is despair. (Didn't the history of the Dark Ages teach you anything, Mr. Higher Education?)
Hope doesn't exist . Is that the lesson you wish us to teach our children. Professor? Do you want us to tell our children that there's no such thing as hope, that No, Virgina, there's no such thing as Santa Claus and all you really have is hardship and despair?
Well, Mr. Enlightenment, you may wish the next generation to live without hope, to live in the Modern Dark Ages, but I, for one, do not.
So, Mr Intellectual,. I will continue to "lie" to my children and grandchildren and teach them that hope is real, that hope exists, even after they find out, on their own, that Santa Claus is just a metaphor for hope.
Ken (Old Texican)| 12.22.09 @ 1:44PM
Ray,
What a nice coda to this conversation.
Thank you
Barbara | 12.22.09 @ 4:47PM
I have four kids and when each one got old enough to question me about Santa's existence I said, "Well, anyone in my house who says anything about Santa not existing won't get any presents from him." My oldest son- a pillar of his church, by the way- still has never doubted the existence of Santa, at least not out loud to me.
KyMouse| 12.22.09 @ 4:52PM
I remember being young enough to hear some sort of bell ringing outside our house on Christmas Eve and wonder if it was Santa. I suppose my parents were jingling some sort of bell, but there was, for a moment or two, that delicious blurring between fantasy and reality that only little kids can truly grasp. I cherish that memory.
In my own family today, however, we focus on James 1:17: "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father." I wouldn't go on a stamp-out-Santa campaign, but I don't like his taking attention away from Jesus. I much prefer being a guest at "the birthday boy's" party.
d | 4.2.10 @ 3:28AM
d