The American Spectator : Henny-Penny Conquers CO2

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Henny-Penny Conquers CO2

By Peter Hannaford on 12.10.09 @ 6:06AM

Hold your breath, the EPA has ordered.

(Page 2 of 2)

Us: And what if some countries don't?

Ms. H-P: We'll have United Nations levy sanctions on any that balk.

Us: You mean sanctions as effective as the ones the UN put on Iran and its nuclear weapons ambitions? Their value is zilch.

Ms. H-P: You're changing the subject. I'm talking about meaningful sanctions that right thinking world citizens will agree to, folks such as those at the Copenhagen conference this week.

Us: Those right-thinking folks are UN bureaucrats, European Socialists and some scientists who salivate over large grants. Beyond that crowd, what about the EPA and its CO2 police that will impose ruinous fines on factories and others it thinks aren't following its rules?

Ms. H-P: That's why we need the cap-and-trade bill passed by the Senate. Those that produce CO2 above the limit EPA sets can buy credits from those who are under the limit.

Us: And square in the middle are carbon-credit brokers, such as the company your Pontiff, Al Gore, has invested in.

Ms. H-P: He is just doing that as a public service.

Us: Sure, and he continues to dish out falsehoods about the climate. In a TV interview with Andrea Mitchell he said the temperature of the earth "about two kilometers down" is "millions of degrees." The sun's temperature is about 6,000 degrees so how does your pontiff come up with such outrageous stuff?

Ms. H-P. He answers to a higher power.

Us: I see. So, to summarize, you persuade the EPA to require CO2 bags for everyone. What then happens to all the trees in America? Trees take in CO2 and emit oxygen. Have you figured out yet what all this reduction in CO2 is going to do about the wilting trees?

Ms. H-P. I must run. 'Bye now.

Peter Hannaford first met Henny-Penny not long after she told her friend Chicken Little that the sky was falling and that her observation would make her famous one day.

Page: < 12

topics:
Environmental Protection Agency, Greenhouse Gases

About the Author

Peter Hannaford was closely associated with the late President Ronald Reagan for a number of years. His latest book is Reagan's Roots: The People and Places That Shaped His Character.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (14) | Leave a comment

Ned | 12.10.09 @ 7:52AM

A few weeks ago I had some fun writing this:
News Flash:
People who rally against climate change were broken hearted and at the same time exhilarated to hear a group of followers meeting in San Francisco might have went a little too far in their zeal to promote recognition of climate change.
At a meeting with about 150 people, tragedy struck when a particularly passionate speaker pointed out that with each breath taken by the individuals present, more carbon dioxide is released into the air.
Upon hearing, and being fervently reminded of this often forgotten production mechanism of carbon dioxide, all of the devoted participants immediately stopped breathing. All 150 died, laying their lives on the green alter of ultimate sacrifice, before EMTs could arrive and resuscitate them.
The most passionate leaders of the climate change awareness movement solemnly stated “This is an example of pure devotion for all of us to follow.” They plan to lead believers in a world wide breathe-out demonstration next Saturday.
Non-believers of man made climate change say “For once we are in total agreement with these highly intelligent impassioned folks and urge all believers of man made climate change to participate.”

owyheewine| 12.10.09 @ 9:41AM

I have a less than compassionate suggestion for where those CO2 gathering hoses should be routed..
On the other hand we could take all of the cylinders to D.C. , and release the gas to promote such vigorous vegetative growth to remediate the whole place back to the pristine 1800 environment.

Al Adab| 12.10.09 @ 10:15AM

Gosh, and all that stuff I learned in science class about trees and plants taking in CO2 and giving off onygen was just a lie? If only Congress would stop breathing we might all be safe.

Roy| 12.10.09 @ 11:52AM

I've been getting a kick out of the Times of India Copenhagen coverage. Not word one on Climategate.

It was front page news when India announced their "concession" to voluntarily reduce their "carbon intensity" by 25%. The top headline was "India agrees to 25% carbon cut".

Not being the NY Times, they didn't even bother to push the facts to paragraph 25. "Carbon intensity" = Carbon emissions/GDP. So they can reduce their carbon intensity either by decreasing emissions or increasing GDP. No prizes for guessing which they plan to do.

2 paragraphs in, you read a parliamentary spokesman saying "well, it's voluntary, not binding, but it's not too hard because in the last equivalent period our intensity declined by 18%". In short, we plan to do absolutely nothing but we'll put a nice big number on it and hope it's enough for the Americans to spin themselves into economic suicide.

And that's the optimistic scenario. The pessimistic one is that it WILL do anything. If it does do anything, then the TOI predicts that the biggest impact will be to slow the rate at which people move from burning "wood" to burning kerosene. They estimate 25% of urban dwellers burn wood(and of course it is the poorest 25%), which is why Calcutta smells like a campfire half the time. And when I say "wood" I of course mean garbage with all the associated ashes and other respiratory-problem causing emissions.

In short, warmodoom fanatics want the Slumdog Millionaire to die of pneumonia.

Ken (OLd Texican)| 12.10.09 @ 2:19PM

Ladies and gentlemen,
The sky truly is falling. Only YOU can prevent it.

http://www.americanthinker.com.....psest.html

Like her or not, she speaks for us. It is about time someone did....with no quibbles.

Ron| 12.10.09 @ 8:25PM

God help us, I don't think there is any hope for us. The lunatics are running the show.

Richard Baker| 12.13.09 @ 9:29AM

What's next? A bag at the rear of every cow, horse, and every other barnyard/pastured critter for flatulence? These people are absolutely insane. If someone in an insane asylum spoke like this, they'd continue the Thorazine.

C.K. Amos| 12.13.09 @ 1:09PM

We must stop this politicized-science-based anti-humanist eco-religion.

Perhaps lawsuits are one way, especially for EPA's endangerment finding and the ensuing regulations.

But perhaps we also need to write to everyone imaginable and talk to as many people about the impacts of the climate-warmist-advocates.

Calling them insane is not enough.

But we're the insane ones if we let them get away with this fraud, which appears to be on the order of the Piltdown Man.

B H| 12.13.09 @ 3:43PM

The irresponsibility of the EPA needs to be addressed by defunding them from government money and making them a private enterprise.
They will be out of business within a year, we can revert to common sense methods of maintaining a clean environment and the hot air being forced upon the world will be eliminated.
Fight these fools, whatever it takes!

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