The American Spectator

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The Misery Index

9.4.09 @ 6:01AM

WINNING BY DEFAULT
Re: Quin Hillyer's He's Not Jimmy Carter:

I think Quin Hillyer overrates Obama's ability to inspire. The president has failed to move the needle of public opinion on health care, despite mounting a major PR offensive, including a prime-time news conference dominated by the usual softball questions. His use of the bully pulpit has coincided with a sharp decline in public confidence in his health care agenda.

Obama has benefited greatly from the debacles of the Bush administration, economic fears and the Toady Factor created by adoring media coverage. But I see no evidence that he can really connect with John and Jane Average. He's too detached, too choreographed, too cool. He clearly lacks Ronald Reagan's ability to evoke America's "mystic chords of memory." He often comes off as a college professor searching for street (Main) cred. Remember the bowling fiasco?

Events may yet rescue the left's Chosen One. An improving economy will drive up his poll numbers, and the big media will perform the attack dog function for him, allowing him to rise above the fray. But I don't believe he has what it takes to shape public opinion. Unfortunately, no one in the Republican Party has that ability, either. The GOP hasn't presented a coherent limited government alternative to Obama's all-powerful Nanny State. So Obama may end up winning by default -- but not through overwhelming charisma.
-- Mac Thrower
Robertsdale, Alabama

I pledge my allegiance to our Dear Leader, who wants nothing more than what is in our collective best interest.

I pledge to support Dear Leader as he nationalizes the banks, the auto industry, and health care. These are down payments on driving away all the greedy, profit driven malefactors of the corporate system, and replacing them with the tender, altruistic, socially conscious laborers of the compassionate state.

I pledge to drop 50 pounds, and report any irresponsible neighbors who eat too much, drink too much, exercise too little, or engage in socially un-enlightened lifestyles. I further pledge to know when it's my time to go, so I won't be a burden on my fellow citizens and other residents of our country.

I pledge to pursue in harmony with Dear Leader the green future by recycling each and every day, by driving only government approved and manufactured vehicles (and only when public transportation is unavailable), by avoiding use of electricity and indoor plumbing whenever possible (not only during our scheduled blackout periods), and by using only household products carrying the Dear Leader seal of approval. I know that the so-called "cap and trade" is only the first step towards ridding ourselves of fossil fuels, and I pledge my support to Dear Leader when he goes for 100% renewable energy sources.

I pledge to avoid exposing myself or my family (and especially my kids) to any harmful cultural materials or events from any media source not approved by the NEA in consultation with Dear Leader. And when Dear Leader wants to ban non-approved sources, as I know he will, I pledge to support him in that worthwhile endeavor. So-called "freedom of speech" is certainly not constitutionally protected when it is demonstrably toxic to our society, any more than is crying "fire" in a crowded theater! The ACLU has certainly come to that understanding.

I pledge to support Dear Leader as the message giver to our schoolchildren, as the proponent of volunteerism to combat the many ills of our society, as the enemy of racism, sexism, and homophobia. It is a very sad society where morality is the province of often dysfunctional families and hidebound churches, instead of the enlightened arena of the public school!

I pledge to give all my income to our Dear Leader, and trust he will provide me with all necessary secular sustenance as well as the best possible spiritual guidance.

I pledge to praise our Dear Leader as he apologizes to all the citizens of the world for the many depredations of our too often evil country. Our love of all will turn enemies into friends. Our appreciation of the many fine points of other cultures will educate us in how to be a better society.

I pledge to obey without question instructions from cadres of the Civilian National Security Force. I know that they have special insights into the dangerous traitors and evil-doers who permeate our too tolerant society. They merely want to protect me and my family from being ensnared by those who regularly practice thought crimes and engage in hate speech.

I pledge my support when Dear Leader finally decides to do away with the nonsense of elections and appoints the best people available to manage our society. After all, if elections are unfair to select union leaders, how much more is the unfairness if they are used to select much more important political leadership?

I pledge to relinquish my job to a more deserving minority woman, with the knowledge that Dear Leader will find a way to take care of me and my family.

Letter to the Editor