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Another Perspective

A Washington Nightmare

Alice in Wonderland is politically hot, according to a former Bush-Cheney speechwriter.

(Page 2 of 2)

“In that case,” I shrugged, “I suppose I’ll have to edit it out of tomorrow’s nightmare. But may I continue, Dr. Freudenthal?”

“Please do.”

“At this point,” I recalled, “a very serious-looking man, wearing a white wig and a black robe, who looked just like Attorney-General Holder, began to shout, ‘Off with his head! Off with his head!’ and then another fellow, who reminded me of David Axelrod and who had a giant sword slung over his back, grabbed me by my wrists and dragged me into a large, empty field. I could see that my time is up, and I prepared to surrender my soul to my Maker, but suddenly Axelrod dropped his sword and started running away.’It’s the Jabberwock,’ he screamed, ‘it’s the Jabberwock.’ And sure enough, the Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, came whiffling through the tulgey wood, and burbled as it came!”

“So what did you do next?” asked Dr. Freudenthal, who was so caught up in my nightmare that he stopped taking notes.

“Well, I quickly picked up Axelrod’s sword and charged at the furious Jabberwock, and one two, one to! The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! And I left the Jabberwock dead.”

“But that’s just wonderful!” cried Dr. Freudenthal. “Why are you so depressed — you should be proud of yourself.”

“I’m afraid, doctor, that you just don’t understand,” I patiently explained. “I just wiped out an endangered species. I could get twenty years for that!”

Page:   12

About the Author

Joseph Shattan is the author of Architects of Victory: Six Heroes of the Cold War.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (25) |

Appleby| 4.27.09 @ 7:49AM

There is one good thing about this article, and that is the fact that *Dave Matthews* will not show up here to taunt us educated folks. He clearly did not major in English.

Pecos Pete| 4.27.09 @ 8:09AM

Appleby: Patience, once he/she sees his/her name he/she won't be able to resist.

Anthony| 4.27.09 @ 9:15AM

Gee, that's the most intelligent thought Joe Biden has ever had, no wonder it was a dream.
But lucky for you Janet Benito Napolitano didn't show up in your dream, replete in her brown shirt and jackboots; now THAT would qualify as a real sheet soaker.

Grzmlyk| 4.27.09 @ 9:57AM

Love the piece. My only comment is that I think Dave Matthews should be utterly ignored by the sane denizens of this site.
Nothing pleases him/her/it more than getting attention from the grown-ups.
Starve the beast and the beast will dry up and blow back over to the Huffington Post, where up is down, good is bad and slavery is freedom.

Michael L. Hauschild| 4.27.09 @ 11:15AM

Spot on Grzmlyk. Thou shalt not be a respondent. The conservative blogger's 11th Commandment.

Bill| 4.27.09 @ 11:50AM

Ignore Matthews he is deranged and responding to him only feeds his delusions.
My wife and I do get a good morning laugh from him though.........

Appleby| 4.27.09 @ 12:21PM

And about the article -- I found it silly. The author should get himself a copy of The Annotated Alice and try a little harder next time. (For example, the whole exchange between Alice and the Caterpillar, and Alice and Humpty Dumpty, would have worked much better than bringing in a bit from Gilbert and Sullivan. Especially Humpty's assertion, "With a name like yours, you might be any shape, I guess.")

Grzmlyk| 4.27.09 @ 12:33PM

I agree - it'd be great if there were an unspoken pact among the adults here to hold firm and relegate the troll in question to the kiddie's table, where he can dine with Axelrod, Soros, the ghost of Alinsky, Gibbs, Pelosi, Reid, the MSM and all the other preening exhibitionist food fighters who want to show how much they care about America's alleged victims by stealing your money - and promptly giving it to bloated bureaucrats, lobbyists, lawyers, greenies and other assorted charlatans.

Herman King| 4.27.09 @ 2:28PM

When it comes to liberals and neocons, I recommend the Queen's OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! Our troubles would be solved.

ben| 4.27.09 @ 3:14PM

Dave Matthews beat you all.
Now instead of discussing topics, politics and stories you are all discussing Dave. Getting us off topic and out of discussing serious issues was precisely his goal. Instead of saying how much you hate him, or telling others to just ignore him and not respond, how 'bout you just ignore him, stop responding to him, and stop talking about him. You have created an "antichrist" icon in him, thus stroking his ego and encouraging him to come back.

Grzmlyk| 4.27.09 @ 3:33PM

Ben: You're guilty of your own accusation!

jim rice| 4.27.09 @ 3:36PM

that was cute...

grzmlyk| 4.27.09 @ 3:42PM

Let's leave the circular firing squad duty to the other side. We all agree there are bigger fish to fry.

That is, if it weren't species-ist to fry fish. :-)

Appleby| 4.28.09 @ 7:36AM

Has anyone here read Alice in Wonderland? Or Alice Through The Looking Glass? With or without annotation?

More Articles by Joseph Shattan

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http://spectator.org/archives/2009/04/27/a-washington-nightmare

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