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Another Perspective
A Washington Nightmare
I had been feeling unusually anxious and depressed all week, so it was with a real sense of relief that I entered my psychiatrist's office and stretched out on his worn and familiar couch.
"I've having the same nightmare all week, Dr. Freudenthal, and it's driving me crazy," I began.
"Describe your nightmare to me," said Dr. Freudenthal, sympathetically.
"Well, I dream I'm on trial for war crimes, and I'm brought in chains before President Obama, and Obama has this broad grin on his face, and he begins to chant, 'I'll be the judge, I'll be the jury, I'll try the whole case and condemn you to death.'"
"Hold on a second," interrupted Dr. Freudenthal. "Isn't that a direct quote from Alice in Wonderland?"
"It might well be," I conceded. "It's one of my favorite books, you know."
"Please go on," said the good doctor, taking out his pad and pen.
"Well, doctor, you can imagine how upset I'm beginning to get, now that I'm facing the death penalty, so I throw myself on the President's mercy. 'Your Honor,' I cry, 'there's been a terrible mistake! I'm not a war criminal, I've never tortured anybody. I'm just a former Bush-Cheney speechwriter.' But instead of answering me, President Obama slowly vanishes, leaving only his grin."
"Then what happened?" asked Dr. Freudenthal, who was writing everything down now.
"After the President vanished," I continued, "up popped this friendly-looking man who's a dead-ringer for Vice President Biden. 'I quite agree with you,' he said. 'And the moral of that is: Be what you would seem to be -- or, if you'd like to put it more simply -- Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.'"
"And how did that make you feel," asked Dr. Freudenthal, who was now scribbling furiously.
"Biden's words made me feel a bit better, I suppose, but then this very tough-looking fellow stepped forward, and he looked just like Rahm Emanuel, only he was wearing a kimono and his hair was pulled back in a bun, and he pointed his long arm at me and started to sing, 'I've got a little list, I've got a little list, of society's offenders who never would be missed, never would be missed."
"Excuse me," interrupted Dr. Freudenthal, "but isn't that Ko-Ko the Lord High Executioner's song from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado?"
"Is it?" I asked, taken aback. "I thought it was something the Red Queen said in Alice in Wonderland."
"No, no," said Dr. Freudenthal. "I was an English major before I switched to pre-med, and I'm quite sure that's from The Mikado."
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Appleby| 4.27.09 @ 7:49AM
There is one good thing about this article, and that is the fact that *Dave Matthews* will not show up here to taunt us educated folks. He clearly did not major in English.
Pecos Pete| 4.27.09 @ 8:09AM
Appleby: Patience, once he/she sees his/her name he/she won't be able to resist.
Anthony| 4.27.09 @ 9:15AM
Gee, that's the most intelligent thought Joe Biden has ever had, no wonder it was a dream.
But lucky for you Janet Benito Napolitano didn't show up in your dream, replete in her brown shirt and jackboots; now THAT would qualify as a real sheet soaker.
Grzmlyk| 4.27.09 @ 9:57AM
Love the piece. My only comment is that I think Dave Matthews should be utterly ignored by the sane denizens of this site.
Nothing pleases him/her/it more than getting attention from the grown-ups.
Starve the beast and the beast will dry up and blow back over to the Huffington Post, where up is down, good is bad and slavery is freedom.
Michael L. Hauschild| 4.27.09 @ 11:15AM
Spot on Grzmlyk. Thou shalt not be a respondent. The conservative blogger's 11th Commandment.
Bill| 4.27.09 @ 11:50AM
Ignore Matthews he is deranged and responding to him only feeds his delusions.
My wife and I do get a good morning laugh from him though.........
Appleby| 4.27.09 @ 12:21PM
And about the article -- I found it silly. The author should get himself a copy of The Annotated Alice and try a little harder next time. (For example, the whole exchange between Alice and the Caterpillar, and Alice and Humpty Dumpty, would have worked much better than bringing in a bit from Gilbert and Sullivan. Especially Humpty's assertion, "With a name like yours, you might be any shape, I guess.")
Grzmlyk| 4.27.09 @ 12:33PM
I agree - it'd be great if there were an unspoken pact among the adults here to hold firm and relegate the troll in question to the kiddie's table, where he can dine with Axelrod, Soros, the ghost of Alinsky, Gibbs, Pelosi, Reid, the MSM and all the other preening exhibitionist food fighters who want to show how much they care about America's alleged victims by stealing your money - and promptly giving it to bloated bureaucrats, lobbyists, lawyers, greenies and other assorted charlatans.
Herman King| 4.27.09 @ 2:28PM
When it comes to liberals and neocons, I recommend the Queen's OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! Our troubles would be solved.
ben| 4.27.09 @ 3:14PM
Dave Matthews beat you all.
Now instead of discussing topics, politics and stories you are all discussing Dave. Getting us off topic and out of discussing serious issues was precisely his goal. Instead of saying how much you hate him, or telling others to just ignore him and not respond, how 'bout you just ignore him, stop responding to him, and stop talking about him. You have created an "antichrist" icon in him, thus stroking his ego and encouraging him to come back.
Grzmlyk| 4.27.09 @ 3:33PM
Ben: You're guilty of your own accusation!
jim rice| 4.27.09 @ 3:36PM
that was cute...
grzmlyk| 4.27.09 @ 3:42PM
Let's leave the circular firing squad duty to the other side. We all agree there are bigger fish to fry.
That is, if it weren't species-ist to fry fish. :-)
Appleby| 4.28.09 @ 7:36AM
Has anyone here read Alice in Wonderland? Or Alice Through The Looking Glass? With or without annotation?
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