By James Bowman on 4.3.09 @ 6:02AM
Permanent adolescence cannot be the goal of genuine friendship.
Director John Hamburg's I Love You, Man, which he also
co-wrote with Larry Levin, purports to be a movie about male
friendships in middle age, but really it is an apologia for our
culture's extension of adolescence into middle age. The
friendship under consideration here is between 30-something Los
Angeles real estate agent Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) and Sydney
Fife (Jason Segel), a guy he meets at one of his open houses who
cheerfully confesses that he has come only for the food. Recently
engaged, Peter has been shamed by overhearing his fiancée, Zooey
(Rashida Jones), tell a group of her girlfriends that "I think
his mom's his best friend." Even his younger gay brother, Robbie
(Andy Samberg), a fitness instructor, seems to know more about
male-bonding than he does, while his dad (J.K. Simmons)
woundingly says that Robbie is his own best friend. Naturally,
Peter turns to Robbie for advice. Hollywood's Magic Gay Guy is
today what its Magic Negro was a decade or so ago.
Guided by Robbie, Peter goes on a series of "man-dates" to try to
get himself some friends. Like the rest of the movie, these are
not nearly so funny as we might have expected them to be. You'd
think you would be in howls of laughter when Peter throws up over
Barry (Jon Favreau), the husband of one of Zooey's friends, or
gets kissed by Doug (Thomas Lennon), who thinks he's gay, but
there it is. If you're anything like me, you aren't. Nor are
Peter's halting and embarrassing attempts to invent his own cool
slang, which come out sounding more like Rob Schneider's
photo-copier guy on Saturday Night Live, the hoot you
would expect. As a result, neither do you get quite the kick
you're supposed to get once Peter, having given up his quest,
runs into Sydney.
Besides the fact that he cruises multimillion-dollar open houses
for the food and the chance to meet rich divorcées, here are a
few things you ought to know about Sydney. He is a huge fan of
the aging Canadian rock band, Rush, and he enjoys both trying to
play their music on his own electric guitar and acting like a
teenager -- which, compared to them, he almost is -- at their
concerts. He has a dog named Anwar Sadat (because, supposedly, he
looks like the late Egyptian president) whose mess he refuses to
pick up, much to the distress of several passers-by. He has a
special chair, adjacent to various unguents and embrocations and
in front of one of the many TV sets in his "man-cave" that he
uses for masturbation. At an engagement party for Peter and Zooey
and in the presence of their family and friends, he earnestly
instructs the bride-to-be in the advisability of making herself
more available for a particular act of oral sex.
If all this makes him sound like a less than attractive
character, that's because he is. And if you think that that would
be a serious drawback to a movie about friendship, it is. The odd
thing is that Messrs. Hamburg and Levin don't know this. Either
that, or they are under the impression that Sydney's oafishness
and immaturity makes him more lovable. Or, a third possibility,
they just don't care, since the point of Sydney is not really for
him to be Peter's friend but to be his lifeline back to the
comforting world of immaturity and adolescent irresponsibility on
the eve of his marriage. And if that seems unlikely, given
Peter's comparative maturity, they needn't care about that
either, since the lifeline is really for the audience, not for
Peter.
The idea here is perhaps that a man needs a friend to supply him
with an excuse to stop being a man and regress to adolescence.
That's why, at one level, the film is all about manhood. But it
is a freelancer's manhood -- manhood cut loose from its social
dimension and the honor culture that goes with it and, therefore,
something that kids are free to make up as they go along. "I'm a
man, Peter. I have an ocean of testosterone flowing through my
veins," says Sydney on one occasion when he is confronted by a
man who has stepped in his dog's feces, which he leaves to foul
the public footways on principle. Turning on the man aggressively
and scaring him away, he blames "society" for trying to arrest
his aggressive impulses. "The truth is we are animals, and we
have to let it out sometimes."
Later, after a similar confrontation with a bodybuilder, Sydney
turns tail and runs for his life. So much for his lovingly tended
aggressive impulses. There's not even any attempt to hide the
fact that his various rationalizations for bad behavior are
merely nonsensical excuses for an adolescent delight in bad
manners as a token of personal authenticity. In the end, we're
meant to think that Peter may have helped Sydney to grow up a
little. "You called me on some of my issues," says the latter as
prelude to the inevitable, "I love you, man." But the whole
weight of both the drama and the comedy goes in the other
direction