Tis the season when prestigious institutions give their annual
awards, and with no further ceremony allow us to announce that the
J. Gordon Coogler Committee has conferred its Worst Book of the
Year Award on Nicholson Baker for Human Smoke: The Beginnings
of World War II, the End of Civilization (Simon &
Schuster). The book's title serves as an appetizer for the
stupidity that the book disgorges. As even professors of American
history know, World War II saved civilization, but the
brute stupidity of this book suggests what writing might decline
into après civilization. Our present civilization has
advanced, in part, because its leading minds were disciplined by
fact, rational analysis, and good sense. The brute mind that
perpetrated this book is void of all three. Baker is himself "the
end of civilization." His earlier books are fictional works dealing
with telephone sex and masturbation. This book is 576 pages of
masturbation aroused by the lewd thought that Winston Churchill was
as murderous as Hitler; though Baker is troubled that Churchill,
unlike Hitler, was a heavy drinker, a smoker, and a wit.
Baker is undone by wit. Consequently, time and again he takes a
Churchill joke as a serious statement. Thus in 1922 when Churchill
on the floor of Parliament explains Britain's cessation of its
World War I aerial assaults on Berlin as "owing to our having run
short of Germans and enemies…" Baker seems to think Churchill is
lamenting the paucity of Germans and enemies and longing for still
more lively RAF targets. Elsewhere Baker's humorless monomania
against Churchill ensnares this year's Coogler Laureate in obvious
contradictions. "You and others may desire to kill women and
children," Baker quotes Churchill as saying to a Conservative MP in
an October 1940 debate, but "My motto is 'Business before
pleasure.' " The parliamentary debate was over whether to bomb
German population centers. Churchill was against it. His Tory
opponent was for it. Baker's friend, Hitler, was engaged in it—in
bombing Londoners, that is, who from September 7, 1940, suffered 57
straight nights of Nazi bombs. Still, in October Churchill opposed
bombing civilians.
I have been told by civilized professors of the humanities, who
still brave the deconstructionist wilds of academe, that adherence
to fact is considered old-fashioned, perhaps sexist, possibly
racist, and maybe even homophobic by many profs. Facts are a
bourgeois contrivance. Thus writers such as this year's Coogler
Laureate can just make facts up as they advance their balderdash.
Most historians know that Churchill was in his day pro-Jewish, a
Zionist, and eventually a supporter of Israel. Baker implies that
Churchill was an anti-Semite who in a February 8, 1920, article in
The Illustrated Sunday Herald accused Jews of being in a
"sinister" "worldwide conspiracy." Actually in that article
Churchill was speaking of Russian Jews then active in Bolshevism,
which was indeed a sinister worldwide conspiracy.
At another point in the article Churchill writes that "We owe to
the Jews a system of ethics which, even if it were entirely
separated from the supernatural, would be incomparably the most
precious possession of mankind, worth in fact the fruits of all
wisdom and learning put together." Elsewhere Baker quotes Churchill
as writing to the head of the RAF in 1920 that "I am strongly in
favor of using poisoned gas" against opponents in what is today
Iraq. Read in its entirety, the letter is clearly not speaking of
lethal gas but of what Churchill calls "lachrymatory gas"—or, as we
say today, tear gas.
There are plenty of other facts that are juggled, tortured, and
simply invented in this preposterous book. But then what else would
one expect from a book whose thesis is so implausible? Baker even
disinters the old anti-Churchill charge that the prime minister
knew from intelligence decrypts the British industrial city of
Coventry was about to be bombed but let it happen rather than tip
off the Nazis that his cryptographers had broken their code.
Historians such as Sir Martin Gilbert disproved this bunk years
ago, showing that despite the cryptographers' brilliance they had
failed to crack the Nazi code word for Coventry. Baker also claims
that "Churchill wanted to starve them [German Jews] until they
revolted against their oppressors." Baker is referring to the
British blockade of the continent, which he presents as a war crime
rather than the reprise of a strategy that had enabled Britain to
subdue Napoleon in the 19th century and the Kaiser in the 20th.
Yet my favorite misappropriated fact in this book comes in the
author's explanation of his macabre title, Human Smoke.
Baker attributes the words to former German chief of staff Franz
Halder, who "when he was imprisoned in Auschwitz late in the war,
[claimed] he saw flakes of human smoke blow into his cell." Baker,
you nincompoop, Halder was imprisoned in Dachau and Flossenburg,
not Auschwitz—stick with telephone sex and masturbation, but enjoy
your Coogler.
BAKER'S ACCOMPLICE in this idiotic book is the New York
Times, which he oafishly describes as "the single richest
resource for the history and prehistory of the war years." Baker is
apparently ignorant of revelations about the Times's
infamous Moscow correspondent Walter Duranty. Duranty is the 1932
Pulitzer Prize winner who has been exposed as Stalin's apologist
for the brutal collectivization of the kulaks. He also, of course,
covered up the ghastly famine in the Ukraine, though his Pulitzer
remains secure. Interestingly, Baker is equally ignorant of the
Times's discredited treatment of Nazi atrocities. I am
grateful to the historian Andrew Roberts, a Coogler Committee
adviser of long standing, who has found that Baker's favorite World
War II resource "made sure reports of the Holocaust were insanely
brief and buried deep inside the paper."
On June 27, 1942, the Times devoted a mere two inches
to its report that 700,000 Jews had been slain in Poland. A week
later its report that 1,000 Jews were perishing daily in gas
chambers made it to page six, though actually the grisly figure was
much higher. On November 25, 1942, the Times's report that
90 percent of the inhabitants of the Warsaw ghetto had been
arrested and many murdered was consigned to page ten. Several days
later, on December 9, the paper buried on page 20 its report that
two million Jews had been exterminated, with five million more
facing the same fate. As the years went on and the casualties
reached colossal numbers, the paper remained calm. The news that
400,000 Hungarian Jews had been sent to death camps with 350,000
more awaiting a similar trip received but four column inches on
page 12 of the July 2, 1944, Times. Its front page
featured a report on New Yorkers' difficulties with holiday travel.
In sum, Roberts finds that during the entire war the Holocaust
never became a leading story in the Times, nor has the
paper "ever properly acknowledged its failings in this matter."
In fact, the New York Times Book Review's reviewer of
Human Smoke esteemed the book "riveting and fascinating."
I can understand the fascination. There is a type of reader who
yearns for rare and seductive knowledge beyond the grasp of the hoi
polloi. Usually the reason that the hoi polloi do not grasp it is
that it is false knowledge easily dismissed as nonsense. Those who
yearn for this nonsense are dopes. Whether knowingly or not,
Nicholson Baker is a classic dopefetcher. I would not be surprised
if he accepts his Coogler with great solemnity. It is at least the
equal of Duranty's Pulitzer.
About the Author
R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. is the founder and editor in chief of The American Spectator. He is the author of the forthcoming The Death of Liberalism, published by Thomas Nelson Inc. His previous books include the New York Times bestseller Boy Clinton: the Political Biography; The Impeachment of William Jefferson Clinton; The Liberal Crack-Up; The Conservative Crack-Up; Public Nuisances; The Future that Doesn't Work: Social Democracy's Failure in Britain; Madame Hillary: The Dark Road to the White House; The Clinton Crack-Up; and After the Hangover: The Conservatives' Road to Recovery.
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Very interessant, thank you for this article.