The American Spectator

Reader Mail

Palin on a Pedestal

9.11.08 @ 12:01AM

(Page 6 of 7)

APOCALYPSE HYPOTHETICAL
Re: Mike Roush's letter (under "Maybe I'm Crazy") in Reader Mail's Silly Sally:

So, Governor Palin should have just left her daughter, Bristol, back in Alaska for the Republican National Convention because she's pregnant (and barely showing?) Did you notice that she is also engaged? Just which party is living in the past where pregnant teenagers must be hidden from view or rushed to a back alley abortionist? I just can't square Mr. Roush's words with the cultural phenomenon of the movie "Juno."

This generation of teenagers knows something that my generation is finally catching onto -- there's a life inside them. They've decided to take their right to choose and choose life. That is a good thing. That Bristol's parents support their daughter in her decision is what was "paraded" on television. The fact that her daughter will have to grow up faster and marry younger is part of that decision. It's their decision and if the sight of her shocked Mr. Roush then boo-hoo. We live in the real world where actions have consequences and sometimes you have to actually see them. Next time, hide your eyes in the couch pillow.
-- Deborah Durkee
Marietta, Georgia

It was the seventh week of the Obama's war. My Russian captors had beaten me for hours and finally threw me back into my cell. I was cold, hungry and damp. The pain was unbelievable and I found myself passing in and out of consciousness.

Five weeks after Obama was sworn into office, silver tongued Barack managed to piss Putin off 40 seconds into their first state visit. Thus the war in the Bering Sea. I thought --being so old -- I wouldn't be drafted. Little did I know. Not wanting to make Bush's mistake, Obama called on all Americans to make sacrifices for the war. (I didn't quite know how taking the patent for Barbie away from Mattel and giving it to Planned Parenthood or re-implementing the fairness doctrine had anything to do with it; but Obama said these were the demands of winning.) Walking down the street to my favorite watering hole, I was grabbed by a band of community organizers, taken to the nearest air force base, given ten days training, and then found myself parachuting out of a flaming B-17 over Moscow. Guess we should have spent a few more bucks on some planes.

Next time I found consciousness; I was tied in a chair and was sitting in front of a spare wooden desk. A sign saying Maj. Roush was right there in eye view. Behind the desk was a thin man with a monocle and grey uniform. "Welcome back, Mr. Dooley. No funny answers this time. Shall we?" What viewpoint do you take on something called "political wedge issues?"

"There are no such things."

Looking disappointed, Comrade R. motioned for me to explain. "The planted axiom behind 'wedge issues' is that such issues don't really matter but are cynically used to divide the public for mere political gain."

"You can't seriously deny your conservative countrymen don't campaign on things they don't really care about," replied Comrade R.

"Of course, I do. There are issues that cut right through the crap and expose real political fault lines and differences. The Left has its issues and doesn't think there can be any others that could possibly matter to anyone else. For a bunch of people that keep preaching and spouting off about diversity, they're pretty narcissistic. In any event, there are things the Left just doesn't want to talk about because it pulls their pants down."

Comrade R scoffed and snuffed out his cigarette on the table. The next thing I knew my face was being pummeled in all different directions. After several minutes, the beating abruptly stopped. "You're swift-boating again, Mr. Dooley. When you are going to admit you're wrong or at least get out of our way? Well, no matter, I suppose. As we speak, your President Obama is surrounded by our forces at your so-called Camp David. Citizen Putin is graciously accepting his surrender. Like the great Roman Caesars, Putin is allowing Obama to rule the United States completely as he sees fit. "

I spit the blood out of my mouth. "Someday. Somehow. The Right will stop you and show you for what you are. A petty and self-righteous snob."

At that, there was a sudden rushing and panicked running outside the halls. A subordinate appeared at the doorway. "Comrade R. We must leave immediately. The Polish cavalry is at our gates and is entering the city!"

Comrade R jumped up from his chair and prepared to leave the room. Before he left, he drew out is pistol, made sure there was a bullet in the chamber and then pointed it at me. "You lying hypocrite! How dare you think you're right! I kill you now!"

Days later, I woke up in a Latvian hospital. The surgeons had operated to remove Comrade R's bullet from my chest. As I stirred, a pretty young nurse smiled down at me a motioned for me to rest and stay still. Comrade R tried to kill me. But I live. The pretty young nurse took my right hand caressing it. Yes, I live. And things are looking up from here.
-- Mike Dooley

Letter to the Editor

topics:
Taxes, Health Care, John McCain, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, Bill Clinton, Television, Abortion, Environment, Hollywood, Constitution, Law, Military, Iraq, Russia, NATO, Immigration, Energy, Alaska, Oil