The verses in Kings I Chapter 11 say that King Solomon,
influenced by his wives in his old age, built monuments to various
idols. The Talmud explains that he did not actually build them, the
wives did, but he was held equally liable for tolerating this
behavior. Judged by this standard, I suspect my own performance
would be lacking too. If sacrilege or sedition are packaged with
wit, my response is likelier a chuckle than a gasp.
Yet a little book, ostensibly a satirical quasi rendition of a
children’s book to teach Yiddish, has me spitting, fuming with
outrage. Outraged as an American, outraged as a Jew, outraged as an
honest analyst of political matters, outraged as a writer who
employs humor to serve truth, outraged as a student of language,
outraged as a speaker of Yiddish, and ultimately… outraged as a
human being clinging to some sense of decency.
This mini tome has been out since 2006, but it came to my
attention only this week. It is published by Little, Brown —
heretofore a reputable outfit — and entitled Yiddish with
George and Laura, by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman. This
small cutesy book is far from cute. It is nothing less than an
abomination.
The premise is simple. A disingenuous disclaimer says it is a
work of fiction “populated” with real, nonfictional individuals.
George and Laura Bush, their daughters, brother Jeb, and their
parents, are drawn by an accurate sketch artist, so everyone knows
just who is who. It opens with a portrait of the President waving
in front of the White House alongside a classic bit of See-Spot-run
educational pap. Except it does not edify, it vilifies.
See George.
He is our president.
He lives in a fancy white house and is a big
shmegegge.
As if the purpose is merely to acquaint us with this Yiddish slang
word, meaning a cross between a dope and a loser, the sitting,
elected leader of the country is disrespected on the very first
page. There is no joke here, other than a “ha, ha, Bush is an
idiot” scoff meant to be shared without substantiation by initiates
in a snide fraternity. As Ann Coulter documented in her book,
Scandal, the Democrats have evinced the same sneering
derision toward the intellect of every Republican President since
Eisenhower.
Besides for the fact that it is a cheap shot offered without
proof, it is inappropriate to humiliate a sitting President at
random, even if the accusation were true. Unless a specific policy
critique is on the table, it is simply uncouth to announce that
your President is an idiot, much less to do so in a format aimed
largely at kids. But if you think that is bad, fuhgeddaboudit. It
gets much, much worse from there.
George loves his job.
He gets to take a lot of vacations.
He gets to do special things for his family and friends.
“Not bad for an ex-shikker,” he thinks.
That Yiddish word is actually borrowed from Hebrew, and it means a
drunkard. Instead of the sensitivity a liberal would demand for a
reformed alcoholic, we get to see the President labeled, again
liltingly, as an ex-drunk.
See Jenna and Barbara.
They are George and Laura’s twin daughters.
Jenna was cited two times for underage drinking.
Barbara was cited only once.
George and Laura shepen nachas from their lovely
girls.
Here the Yiddish phrase indicates that the parents take proud
satisfaction from their children’s behavior. The entire lives of
Jenna and Barbara are reduced to their weakest moments of sowing
their wild oats. These are not even politicians who might be
considered fair game for expounding views that affect our lives.
These are two teenagers, and later young adults, who are trying to
cope with facing life’s responsibilities in the pitiless glare of
the spotlight.
The book then offers us a conversation between George and
Brother Jeb. “How is your daughter, Noelle? Is she still addicted
to Ex-Lax?” No, Jeb explains, her drug of choice is correctly
pronounced Xanax, and she is in therapy. “Therapy schmerapy,” says
George. “If someone has troubles they should talk to God.”
The elder Barbara Bush, George’s mother, is introduced as a
farbissenah, a crotchety woman. Brother Neil, we are told,
was in the savings and loan business. “A lot of people lost money
at his bank. They were very sad. Neil made a lot of money at the
bank and was very happy.”
The unremitting nastiness continues in this vein, peaking in a
scene where Laura Bush finds an abandoned baby. She considers
adopting it, but her husband and father-in-law chide her that this
will encourage young women to have more children out of wedlock.
They decided to abandon the baby to its fate, which they compound
by taking away its blanket. Why waste a perfectly good blanket?
This all strikes me as a perfect example of what the Talmud
calls: “He came to teach about others and ended up revealing about
himself.” A person of decency does not publish personal attacks
against a family where no social or political purpose is achieved.
Nor does he treat the office of the Presidency so dismissively. The
political debate deserves better, as does our literary culture.
Even the Yiddish words chosen are of the lowest caliber, used only
by people who have no breeding. Indeed this pretense at education
is a base exercise: class is dismissed.
