Years ago, when only a triad of arbiters policed the baseball
diamond, enterprising organists were fond of playing “Three Blind
Mice” when the men in blue took the field.
Of course, that was long ago and the mellifluous music that once
wafted through ballparks has given way to the mind-numbing assault
of rock and roll on the senses of horsehide fans. But Major League
Baseball umpires have been under fire since some far-off fan in the
19th century shouted, “You’re missing a good game, ump!”
As has often been said, baseball is a natural fit as our
national pastime; a word which is defined as “the pursuit of
leisure.” Unlike other sports such as NASCAR, whose races have
attained a holiday-like atmosphere, baseball’s milestones are
actually marked by our national holidays; a team gauges its success
in terms of its won/loss record by Memorial Day, the Fourth of July
and Labor Day. And each of these holidays would be incomplete
without that quintessential American backdrop; the sound of a
ballgame blaring from a tinny AM radio.
Also exemplary of our nation is the tendency of its citizens to
enjoy expressing their diverse and sometimes contentious opinions
on just about everything, particularly sports. Baseball, with its
languorous pace and abundance of statistics, lends itself to this
in an almost perfect way.
Yet all fans would agree that criticizing the umpires is a
sacred right. What self-respecting fan has not, at one time or
another echoed the old chestnut, “We wuz robbed!?” As Hall of Famer
Nestor Chylak said, “This must be the only job in America that
everybody knows how to do better than the guy who’s doing it.”
BUT INSTEAD OF embracing this time-honored tradition, some folks —
angered by the seeming spate of blown home-run calls — have issued
a call for the artificial and culturally invasive practice of
instant replay.
The increasing popularity of the NFL has brought about the odd
desire of some baseball people to make the game more like football.
From the institution of wild-cards and inter-league play, to the
noxious attempts at parity via the imposition of luxury
taxes, baseball has tried its best to conform to its gridiron
stepchild.
But baseball is not, nor should it ever be, in any way like
football, especially when it comes to officiating. Even without
instant replay, football referees — like those in hockey and
basketball — are more or less like traffic cops who from time to
time interrupt the organized chaos around them.
The baseball umpire controls nearly every aspect of the game.
His decisions effect every pitch, hit and catch since he, in a way,
determines whether or not the ball will even be put in play because
he is the arbiter of balls and strikes.
Since the very length of a game often depends on his decisions,
particularly those concerning the strike zone, the official Rules
of Baseball state that these decisions cannot even be argued or
appealed to other umpires, let alone be set aside.
In other words, the baseball umpire enjoys a prominence above
all other sports officials in that his authority is essentially
perceived to be beyond question. Any use of instant replay would
diminish this elevated status. It would also reduce the paying
customers’ need to yell, “Kill the umpire.” After all, no one
bothers to abuse NFL refs anymore because most of their power has
been technologically neutered.
AND THIS WOULD be a crime in baseball, because an umpire’s duties
leave more room for personal interpretation than in any other
sport. From bean-ball infractions to balks; from catcher’s
interference to the short fuse of a disgruntled manager; a Major
League umpire must be a baby-sitter, a mind-reader, a drama critic
and a weatherman.
But most of all, it is the integrity that superintends these
roles which must never be in question. Lessen the human
interpretive input of any of these and you lessen them all.
Finally, the very nature of the baseball season is reason enough
to eschew instant replay. Unless an umpire’s bad call is made in
the late innings of the deciding game of a series — where, not
coincidentally, there are two additional men in blue — there’s
always another day in baseball; in fact, 162 of them. In football,
each of the 16 games has a life-and-death feeling to it and so each
set of downs acquires a critical aspect that is happily absent in
baseball.
Those who favor the adoption of instant replay in limited
circumstances must be aware that its implementation would be a step
out onto the brink of a very slippery slope. When was the last time
“progressives” have been timid in advancing their agenda in any
field? And, just as in a government dominated by tax-loving
Democrats; once the initial incursion is made they will surely take
the mile, having already won the inch.
Harness the zebras if you must, but stay true to our men in
blue.
