The American Spectator

Carl Davis /p> p> Cheer up, Lawrence. It could be worse — you could be working in one of our local casinos and have to hear the “doodley-doo, doodley-doo” of slot machines all day, or as a cashier in Wal-Mart: “boop, boop, boop, boop…” br> — Howard Hirsch br> Dayton, Nevada /p>

Funny fella, Mr. Henry. Have you noticed that more and more television commercials also beep? Rousing me out of my evening stupor. wondering what needs attention in the kitchen. Then my handbag beeps. Or rather my cell phone in the bag beeps a mournful little beep to tell me it is dying and I better hook it up to life support.

I have grown accustomed to the beeps. It is the eerie green numbers I see in the dark — each announcing a different time by a few seconds, that raise my irk level Everything in the kitchen (except the can opener) seems to include a clock. Possibly can openers do, too, nowadays. I’ll never know. My beautiful, compact, wall hung Sunbeam can opener with the original cutter has been rolling around can lids for over 50 years, its magnet still lifts the lids. It was manufactured before the notion of built-in obsolescence occurred to them.

I don’t use it anymore — it seemed a tad retro for my new kitchen, but I have a Sunbeam toaster I got as a wedding gift in 1945. Still works. And no beeping.

Be sure to check your new oven. I have a computerized one that has to be re-calibrated every time the power goes out or you will be baking at a mysterious temperature not necessarily in synch with your little beeping dial. Re-calibrating is as delicate a procedure as cracking a safe, but I learned to do it on my own, after watching oven man do it once.

p>”Gadgets R I,” and a good thing, too. My husband cannot program a VCR. Suggesting he might have a go at learning computer, he reacts as if I have just asked him to dismantle a ticking time bomb. But he builds beautiful furniture and his lawn looks like it was edged with manicure scissors. And he has won awards from the City Beautification Committee for landscaping. He also changes the smoke alarms. br> — Diane Smith br> San Francisco, California