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American Noises

4.14.08 @ 12:01AM

GOING IT ALONE
Re: W. James Antle III's All the Taxpayers Left Alone:

One of the reasons I participate in this site is that I find so many of the ideas bizarre, and Grover Norquist's are no exception. The Leave Us Alone Coalition might more aptly be called the I'm All Right Jack Coalition. Yet it has long puzzled me why wealthy conservatives such as Mr. Norquist, William F. Buckley, Jr., and the entire Bush clan care in the slightest about taxation. Once any savvy American reaches a certain threshold of investment assets, which isn't all that difficult to attain in my opinion, they can reasonably expect their net worth to increase over time regardless of tax policy, as long as their spending habits aren't excessive. And if they like shooting guns, they can always find ways to do it, despite laws restricting their use by the hoi polloi. They can even belong to kooky religious cults if they like.

This leads me to believe that the underlying idea of anti-tax conservatism is the familiar "greed is good" with a touch of "ain't America great." For the Christians among you, I remind you that greed isn't good. For the jingoists among you, I can only say that America ain't that great. Human nature is more or less uniform throughout the world, and it was only an accident of history that placed the United States at the pinnacle of wealth and military power. If you pay attention to the emerging markets, you'll have to conclude that this charmed state of affairs isn't going to last forever, regardless of the tax code or which party wins elections. Instead of whining about taxes and big government, wealthy conservatives should start thinking about foreign investments.
-- Paul Dorell
Evanston, Illinois

Grover is also, from my experience with his "Politics" column in the past, one of the most economic and concise writers I've ever read. Uncanny ability to provide the most information with the least clutter; the clarity and sharpness of organization are impeccable.
-- Scott Horn
Akron, Ohio

BEEP BOPPED
Re: Lawrence Henry's Beep, Beep, Beep:

I read from my home office Lawrence Henry's article on things that beep. I did so while an excavation contractor was using his equipment to repair my flood-damaged driveway. As a result, you can guess the background noise to my reading of his article...
-- Mike Landry
Fayetteville, Arkansas

Great story. It's the shrill noisy beeps at Chevron gas pumps that I hate. They shriek. Yikes. Anyway, your story reminded me that we had a "beep" that was sounding quietly and somewhat randomly. Heard it in the quiet of the night. I slowly worked my way around the house unplugging, disconnecting, standing and listening quietly. Took several days to finally find the battery-powered smoke detector on a book shelf behind some books.
-- Carl Davis

Cheer up, Lawrence. It could be worse -- you could be working in one of our local casinos and have to hear the "doodley-doo, doodley-doo" of slot machines all day, or as a cashier in Wal-Mart: "boop, boop, boop, boop..."
-- Howard Hirsch
Dayton, Nevada

Funny fella, Mr. Henry. Have you noticed that more and more television commercials also beep? Rousing me out of my evening stupor. wondering what needs attention in the kitchen. Then my handbag beeps. Or rather my cell phone in the bag beeps a mournful little beep to tell me it is dying and I better hook it up to life support.

I have grown accustomed to the beeps. It is the eerie green numbers I see in the dark -- each announcing a different time by a few seconds, that raise my irk level Everything in the kitchen (except the can opener) seems to include a clock. Possibly can openers do, too, nowadays. I'll never know. My beautiful, compact, wall hung Sunbeam can opener with the original cutter has been rolling around can lids for over 50 years, its magnet still lifts the lids. It was manufactured before the notion of built-in obsolescence occurred to them.

I don't use it anymore -- it seemed a tad retro for my new kitchen, but I have a Sunbeam toaster I got as a wedding gift in 1945. Still works. And no beeping.

Be sure to check your new oven. I have a computerized one that has to be re-calibrated every time the power goes out or you will be baking at a mysterious temperature not necessarily in synch with your little beeping dial. Re-calibrating is as delicate a procedure as cracking a safe, but I learned to do it on my own, after watching oven man do it once.

"Gadgets R I," and a good thing, too. My husband cannot program a VCR. Suggesting he might have a go at learning computer, he reacts as if I have just asked him to dismantle a ticking time bomb. But he builds beautiful furniture and his lawn looks like it was edged with manicure scissors. And he has won awards from the City Beautification Committee for landscaping. He also changes the smoke alarms.
-- Diane Smith
San Francisco, California

I am confined to a wheelchair, so when I am in the supermarket or other store and have to back up, I too, make a Beep Beep Beeping noise. This always elicits a smile, or even a chuckle from the people nearby.
-- Gretchen L. Chellson
Alexandria, Virginia

Love it.

Letter to the Editor

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