The American Spectator

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Piping Up

3.31.08 @ 12:01AM

(Page 2 of 4)

Cynical? Perhaps. But at least I remember the sweet aroma of a pipe. Burning leaves. Campfires. Backyard grilling. Sharp corners. Riding downhill on a bike. Stuff that will be outlawed completely in the future.
-- J. Palmer

I don't remember why I was so attracted to pipe smoking. When I was a boy, it just seemed like something I would do when I grew up. Thus, once of age, I bought my first pipe and tobacco without uneasy self-consciousness or hesitation. It was even better than I imagined pipe smoking would be. I quickly built up a small collection of inexpensive pipes and tried just about every tobacco I could find in my small college town. (A real pipe shop was 70 miles away.)

One fateful day in my second year of college, I was puffing away in a friend's dorm room when another friend of his dropped by. After about five minutes, he looked at me and sneered and: "Why don't you stop being a stuck-up phony and smoke cigarettes like the rest of us." It wasn't a question -- it was an accusation. This guy never liked me and I returned to favor; so I just thought he was being the jerk he was. Besides, didn't he know that pipe smoking and smoking cigarettes aren't even on the same plain of human existence? Over the course of the next few days, I discovered to my dismay that the jerk's prejudice was shared extensively -- even among my own friends. Since that time, with a few exceptions, I smoke my pipes alone and out of sight. I didn't want others to ruin pipe smoking for me.

Today, I spend an hour or two at my desk at home quietly smoking while paying bills or writing. It turns out that learning to smoke alone has accidentally served me well because all smoking in general has been pushing out of public spaces.

Unfortunately, pipe shops have become few and hard to find even in the largest of cities. I can usually find a cigar shop or two that have a few different kinds of pipe tobacco in the back. Given the high prices of cigars, proprietors act like their losing money by pay attention to me while a moneyed cigar aficionado might stroll in. Thank the Lord for the internet. The selection is much wider and the service is very dependable.

Unlike cigarette smokers, I never feel the need to have a smoke very couple of hours. When I first began, I bought dozens of cheap, junk pipes. Now I limit myself to buying one very good pipe a year. (To say one hunk of wood is pretty much like another is much like saying every car is like another because they are just piles of metal.) On the other hand, some of my oldest pipes are treasures that could never be replaced.

In the end the, best story about pipe smoking is also the truest: A man was wronged by another and so he resolved to kill him. He decided to smoke his pipe and then follow through with the murder. After he finished his first pipe, he decided that instead of killing the other man he would just thrash him. He then sat down to smoke his second pipe. Afterward, he decided to not thrash the other man but instead sternly curse him to his face. After his third pipe, he decided to forgive the other man.
-- Mike Dooley

Pipe smoking, interesting. Thanks for the memory trip. My grandfather always smoked a pipe, and had a stand with 8 or 10 at the ready. I cannot fail to remember him fishing with me when I was a boy. Pipe often clenched in his teeth and him saying, "Oh-h, it's a big one!" when he would get a fish on the line.

Good memories, good times, and it's nice to know someone, somewhere is still garnering some enjoyment from such a simple pleasure that was just part of what I remember about my grandfather. Pipe cleaners galore indeed, and light, relight, and on and on!
-- Roger Ross

BEAN BAG
Re: W. James Antle III's The Emerging Filibuster-Proof Democratic Majority:

James Antle's article ("The Emerging Filibuster-Proof Democratic Majority") states that "Melissa Bean, the Illinois Democrat who toppled Phil Crane in 2004, has an A-List challenger." Her opponent is a high-school dropout and former minor-league hockey player who has never run for office. If that's the A-list, what does the B-list look like?
-- Matt Flamm
Palatine, Illinois

W. James Antle III replies:
That's a pretty uncharitable and incomplete description of Steve Greenberg's resume. His improbable start aside, he's a very successful self-made businessman who is wealthy enough to finance his own campaign. In a year where the outsider tag is the Republicans' best (only?) hope, someone who has never run for office before and can self-finance is not such a bad bet.

RICH GET RICHER
Re: Philip Klein's Bidding Starts at $30 Million:

Maybe what McCain needs to do is point out that the Democrat party is the party of the rich (Washington Times, November 23, 2007) and what Democrats are really proposing is bailing out their rich and elitist voters who bought homes they could not afford and then walked away from their responsibilities hoping to get taxpayers to bail them out. This is very much like the SHIPS scam rich Democrats were trying to pull to get their kids free healthcare at working American's expense. Despite Democrats and the media's disdain for us "simpletons" in the middle class we can understand this simple explanation. Republicans need to forcefully ask "why working Americans should keep bailing out rich Democrats and their special interest groups?" This isn't class warfare its speaking truth to powerful Democrat liars and scam artists.
-- Michael Tomlinson

First of all, and as is always the case, I challenge any proponent of this "homeowner" bailout to point to the specific passage in the U.S. Constitution (by Article and by Clause) that authorizes the Federal Government to get involved.

Letter to the Editor

topics:
Taxes, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Bill Clinton, Business, Constitution, Law, Iran, Israel, NATO