The American Spectator

But where are the guys, the men, the fathers?

“You tell me. Not at the Police Lady’s meetings, she complains. And this is what I mean by home schooling. It teaches what cannot be learned in regular schools. It taught me, and you, how to be a person.”

But Uncle, we’ve got all kinds of governmental stuff going on. Think of No Child Left Behind.

“Sure. A federal dole that has transformed teachers into test administrators, twisting kid’s arms not to flunk these dipsy tests that decide how much federal money goes to the school — and to the teachers’ salaries. No Child Left Behind means no federal dollars withheld from the school.”

Okay. So what’s the profit in home schooling?

“The profit? See? There you go. The profit is in raising a society of folks who know what it is to be human. Home schoolin’ I’m talking about has nothing to do with reading, writing or ‘rithmatic. It has to do with knowing who you are, what you are. All the rest of it, the academic stuff that comes later depends a whole lot on what I call home schoolin’.”

I sort of see now.

“Go down one of those streets where the cops would like to barge in and see what Junior’s got under the bed. Now and then you’ll come across a pile of teddy bears and wilted flowers — the spot where some kid was gunned down, by mistake or on purpose. And in lots of cases nobody knows yet who did it, or ever will.”

Think these warrantless searches will work?

“It’s a measure of the desperation of authority.”

The answer then, Uncle?

“What I just said. Schoolin’. In a real home. With parents. A man and a woman. Home schoolin’.”