Real men don’t eat quiche. Real chili doesn’t contain beans.
Real conservatives don’t vote for John McCain. The first two
statements are a matter of taste; the third is for some a matter of
conviction. Then there are discriminating gastronomists and
exacting talk show hosts who treat them as immutable laws.
In Sunday’s Washington Post, Brent Bozell argued that McCain can’t count on conservatives
just because he is the Republican nominee. A few examples
illustrate his point. James Dobson
said he won’t vote, leaving the presidential spot on his ballot
blank. Ann Coulter has promised — it is not clear how seriously — to
vote for Hillary Clinton. There are even a few Obamacons out there — that is, conservative supporters
of Barack Obama.
Such protests votes (and non-votes) won’t send the message these
disgruntled conservatives intend. If a Democrat is elected, the
powers that be will praise the Lord and pass the government
programs. Nobody is going to assume that the winning margin was
supplied by disaffected Republicans who didn’t think McCain was
conservative enough. Non-voters motivated by conservative pique
will be lost among the millions more who stayed home out of
ignorance or apathy.
There is another option, if you don’t see a dime’s worth of
value in the argument that you’d be wasting your vote. Third
parties are a venerable American institution (not to be confused
with a mental institution). Why, the GOP even began as one. Let’s
look at a few that might interest disenchanted conservatives:
Constitution Party — Formerly the
U.S. Taxpayer’s Party, Ballot Access News ranks it the
largest third party in terms of registered voters. Yet most of its
members belong to the California state affiliate, the American
Independent Party, apparently having joined in the mistaken belief
that they were registering as independents.
The Constitution Party nominee will be well to the right of
McCain. The party’s platform calls for slashing federal spending,
abolishing the income tax, ending the Federal Reserve, banning
abortion, curbing pornography, and reducing immigration. Rumored
2008 possibilities include “Ten Commandments judge” Roy Moore,
former Sen. Bob Smith of New Hampshire, and the irrepressible Alan
Keyes. Otherwise, they will have to nominate someone obscure.
Before you sign up, be aware that the party’s rank-and-file
includes an unhealthy number of Christian Reconstructionists, who
favor stoning gay people to death, treating adulterers similarly,
and otherwise instituting a theocracy. That’s not a typo or an
Andrew Sullivan blog post; that’s what some of these people
actually believe. Unsurprisingly, the Constitution Party has never
even broken 190,000 votes in a presidential election.
Libertarian Party — If you prefer
keeping government out of your bedroom and boardroom alike, the
Libertarian platform might appeal to you. The first
Libertarian presidential candidate, John Hospers, got an electoral
vote in 1972. The third, Ed Clarke, won just shy of a million votes
in 1980.
Libertarians have been hoping for a similar breakthrough ever
since. Unless their 2008 nominee is Ron Paul or Bob Barr, this is
unlikely. Their presidential vote totals hover between 300,000 and
400,000 whether they nominate media-savvy people like the late
Harry Browne or the completely unknown Michael Badnarik. Many
conservatives will object to the party’s opposition to the war in
Iraq and the war on drugs; others will find it socially libertine.
Even in government-cutting, there can be too much of a good
thing.
In statewide races, Libertarians tend to take votes from Republican candidates. At the
presidential level, they don’t seem to have much effect either way.
Other than allowing small-government voters to pull the lever for a
pro-drug legalization party that showcases candidates named
Firecracker and Stoner on its website.
Reform Party — A creation of Ross
Perot, the Texas billionaire who arguably helped Bill Clinton win
in 1992 and 1996, it was once the best chance for a viable third
party. It is now a shell.
Before the 2000 election, Reform activists loyal to Perot
decided to drive their only real success story, then Gov. Jesse
Ventura of Minnesota, out of their party by inviting Pat Buchanan
to run for its presidential nomination. Once Ventura was gone, the
Perotistas turned on Buchanan (Texas Republican insider Tom
Pauken’s account is the most plausible explanation ever advanced
for this odd behavior). Buchanan won the nomination, but the Reform
Party never recovered. Its remaining members will probably endorse
another third-party or independent candidate in 2008 rather than
offer one of their own.
America First Party — Founded in 2002
by Buchananites who left the Reform Party but didn’t return to the
GOP, it is protectionist on trade and conservative on social
issues. Its website is rarely updated and its candidates mostly run
for local office. The America First Party endorsed Constitution
Party nominee Michael Peroutka in 2004. It probably won’t do better
this time.
Natural Law Party — Conservatives
have often been intrigued by this party’s name, thinking it is
influenced by Summa Theologica rather than Maharishi
Mahesh Yogi. The Natural Law Party has basically levitated itself
out of existence, closing its national headquarters. Its former
leader, John Hagelin, has launched a new “U.S. peace government”
dedicated to bringing “prevention-oriented, problem-free
administration to America.” Whatever that means. Might as well vote
for Bob
Lott.
Ralph Nader — No, Ralph Nader isn’t
going to get many conservative votes in 2008. But he is the reason
very few conservatives will actually vote for a third party rather
than McCain, no matter what they say right now. Third party
candidates usually do badly, as Nader did in 1996 and 2004. When
they do well, as Nader did in 2000, they help elect the major party
candidate their supporters most dislike.
Even real conservatives are constrained by political
reality.
