By Andrew Cline on 3.10.08 @ 12:07AM
New Hampshire, Iowa jealous of politically relevant Mississippi, Guam.
MANCHESTER, N.H. -- To reclaim their political relevance in the
Democratic presidential nomination process, voters in Iowa and New
Hampshire are demanding that the results of their January
presidential nominating contests be voided and the contests
rescheduled for late July.
"All of a sudden people are actually paying attention to
Mississippi," said Gus Guillemette of Hooksett, N.H. "And Guam.
Guam! Why, they don't even have town meeting in Guam. It's just not
right!"
Sara Hemmings of Dubuque, Iowa, said she deeply resented that
other states, including Florida and California, failed to ratify
Iowa's choice of Sen. Barack Obama as the Democratic nominee.
"We told them who to pick, and those ungrateful little people
went out and chose someone else entirely, just totally messing
everything up," Hemmings said. "I mean, who do they think they
are?"
New Hampshire Gov. John Lynch and Iowa Gov. Chet Culver have
asked the Democratic National Committee to void the results of New
Hampshire's Democratic primary and Iowa's Democratic caucuses and
approve new votes in late July.
"It is tradition that he voters of Iowa and New Hampshire have
the great honor of thinking for everyone else in the country when
it comes to deciding who should carry the banner for each party in
the presidential election," the two wrote in a letter to DNC
Chairman Howard Dean. "This year, however, the rest of the country
has shown a frustrating and almost unprecedented tendency to think
for itself. In our view, that is entirely unacceptable, and
frankly, we have no idea how the rest of the nation got so uppity
all of a sudden.
"We demand that the DNC protect the cherished American tradition
of letting Iowa and New Hampshire voters feel more important than
everyone else once every four years. We demand that the DNC void
our January election results and sanction our new primary and
caucuses, tentatively scheduled for the last week in July, but that
could change pending the results in Pennsylvania and North
Carolina."
New Hampshire Secretary of State Bill Gardner, who scheduled his
state's primary for Jan. 8, its earliest date ever, said he
regretted the decision now.
"Oops," he said.
"We don't find this situation amusing at all," Gardner said,
speaking of himself in the royal "we" as is his practice in
presidential election years. "If Chairman Dean doesn't do what is
right, I have been assured by the commissioner of safety that the
chairman's drive from Vermont to Boston, whenever it occurs from
now on, will no longer be as N.H. State Trooper-free as it used to
be."
Fanning the flames of resentment, a new poll conducted last week
showed that Pennsylvania voters have no idea which Democratic
candidate won New Hampshire and which won Iowa.
The poll prompted a New Hampshire legislator to introduce a bill
mandating that the state's presidential primary no longer be
"first-in-the-nation," but instead be "the most relevant in the
nation" and be scheduled for "the date at which it will have the
most impact on the great unwashed masses that make up the non-New
Hampshire portion of the American electorate."
The bill would allow the primary results to be canceled by the
secretary of state and rescheduled for a later date should the
first results not seal the nomination for either party within a
month after being held.
Meanwhile, Iowans have threatened to stop selling corn to
Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Mississippi and Guam if the three
states and one territory do not ratify the results of the Iowa
Democratic caucuses and vote for Sen. Obama.
"We hear China needs corn," Iowa farmer Jeff Trunkler said.
"Can't have creamed corn without corn, North Carolina! You hear
me?! Vote for Obama you bastards!"
topics:
Barack Obama
